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He Doesn't Make Me Cry
Arnav took the crumpled card out of his pocket as he waited impatiently for the helicopter to land and read for the hundredth time that day the words that had gripped his heart in crushing fear.
You are invited to the marriage of Khushi Kumari Gupta and Karan Ahuja
He knew he had hurt Khushi, he knew she wouldn't forgive him and he had accepted it. He had long since accepted that love and happiness weren't meant for him but when he had read those horrifying thirteen words his blood had run cold. Khushi planned to give her heart and soul, both of which Arnav had already claimed as his own, to some other man? No, he wouldn't let that happen. Those words had finally made him realise that of course there would be no love and happiness in his life if he didn't even try.
Khushi paused at the door as she laid eyes on the man she had been praying never to see again and simultaneously praying to spend the rest of her life just looking into his eyes.
'Khushi,' Arnav stood up instantly, his voice almost a whisper. He hadn't seen her once since Akash's wedding but every feature of her face was etched onto his brain.
'Hello Arnavji,' she said politely as she moved towards her room avoiding the curious looks of her parents. She could hear him following her but she pretended she didn't as she put her bag onto her bed and took out her phone to send a text.
'I know about your wedding,' his voice was steely trying to control the anger at her lack of reaction to him. Khushi always reacted to him. He always affected her.
'It's not like it was a secret, the invitation was sent to everyone in your family Arnavji,' she turned around to look at him keeping her expression blank and her voice emotionless. 'Although you're a bit early, the wedding isn't until next month.'
'Why...' He began to step forward but stopped as he failed to find the words he wanted to say.
'The same reason I do everything else Arnavji. The same reason I stayed quiet while you hurled disgusting accusations at me and the same reason I am even talking to you politely right now.' Khushi took a step closer to Arnav looking him straight in the eye, 'for the people I love, for my family. I sent that invitation because of Jiji, because you are my family by association no matter how much I wish you weren't and because it would be rude not to.'
'I... but why... why are you marrying him?'
Khushi shrugged her shoulders, 'why do people usually get married?'
Arnav crossed that final metre of distance between them and held her shoulders roughly, 'love! People get married for love! Khushi, you can't marry him, you don't love him!'
Khushi smiled in spite of herself. This was what she had been dreading all these months that she had avoided even visiting Jiji since her marriage. She had been worried that all Arnav had to do was look at her again, touch her again and she would forget the past and relent under his piercing gaze. But now that he was here, now that he was holding her, she realised her fears were unfounded. Of course there were still all those residual feelings stirring and she could feel her heartbeat increase slightly but there was none of the intensity that she had been expecting. Time and distance had calmed and soothed her emotions. 'How would you know Arnavji? You don't believe in love remember.'
Arnav's breaths paused at the mention of love, 'Khushi you're making a big mistake. Don't do this, don't marry him.'
'Why not? What difference does it make to you if I get married or not?' Khushi remembered that day which seemed so long ago when Arnav taunted her, 'I hope tumhe koi farq nahi padtha' and she wondered if he had felt the same type of callous pleasure she was feeling right now.
Arnav felt his fear and desperation increasing even more than it had when he'd seen the card this morning. 'Khushi, will he be able to give you all the love you deserve? Will he make your dreams come true? Does he make you happy? Does he make you smile? Does he make you laugh?'
Khushi sighed at Arnav avoiding her question just like she had expected. She looked down for a second at the phone in her hand which had begun to vibrate before she looked back at him. 'Did you?' She took advantage of his shock at her question to wriggle out of his grasp and walked slowly past him, for the first time ever not even feeling the inclination to look back on him one more time.
Arnav followed Khushi out, past her silent parents and watched with pain filled eyes as she took the hand of a man who then held open a car door for her and Arnav watched as Khushi got in. The man closed the car door, the sound resounding in Arnav's head as another barrier was erected between him and Khushi.
She had always been the one to break the barriers between them, she had always sought him out, forced him to acknowledge her, forced him to let her into his life, into his heart and now she was leaving him, abandoning him, and allowing this stranger to create barriers between two people who should never have been separated.
Khushi looked at Karan as he started the car. It was true; her heart didn't go 'dhak dhak' when Karan was near, her eyes didn't search for him in every room, and she didn't think about him restlessly when he was away from her.
Arnav wanted to call out to her, wanted to tell her all the secrets that lay hidden in his heart but her question seemed to have immobilised his mouth and rendered him incapable of speech.
The desire to look once more, to see him again after so many months of going without overtook Khushi and she looked out of the window. She saw Arnav standing there, staring at her, imploring her wordlessly. The car began to move and Khushi turned, leaning her head back against the seat so she could watch Karan as he drove.
Karan turned to her curiously, 'what's wrong?'
Khushi shook her head slowly and sighed, 'nothing.'
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