Arnav k Adhure shabd&Adhure Rishte-OS p11,15,36,38 - Page 5

oops ... and i was gonna nominate Vrushy... the silent one!

Originally posted by: --Nargis--

I nominate CHICKS...she has yet to give us an OS...one that will blow our MINDS...what say??😛

@Nags : I wouldn't too far and call him a liar. The guy is too egoistic and thinks that he doesn't need anyone.

Originally posted by: Janet.Das

Aur nahi toh? On the surface bhugto, mann mei phooting of laddoos! ;-)

🤣

mann main pehla laddoo phoota jab maine tumhe shaadi ke liye poocha..

mann mein doodsra laaddoo phoota jab tum shrama gayi...

🤣

typo tha sweetness... it was supposed to be LINE...
abhi correct kar diya!

Originally posted by: Janet.Das

Lie?! :-O It's IPKKND's single biggest SACH!

Originally posted by: romantic.chick

r

Anyways, mujhe ek aur baat samjaho ' what was that 'eyes-closed-fist-clenched' expression all about today when he saw her hurt arm ' mujhe samajh hi nahi aaya ' was he feeling bad at the hurt he caused, or was he angry at his 'wanting-to-touch-her' reaction, or was he angry that he could not touch her'

I have actually watched it about a TRIZILLION times already'

arnav is in a catch22 situation...hes suddenly feeling so many emotions that his normal tough guy act is going to pieces...the poor chap is between a rock and a hard place...i think that one side of him is desperate to soothe the injury and is kicking himself for hurting her...while the other side is playing satan and telling him silently "how could you want to do anything nice ASR...get a grip" so its left side of the brain vs right...or heart ? whichever organ controls such things...

1. Defense Mechanism -

there are four types

a. pathological - e.g. of this in the show is Shyam - he has
• Delusional Projection: Grossly frank delusions about external reality, usually of a persecutory nature.- he is married and that he is denying to a group of people. he is also delusional about how khushi perceives him
- and Extreme projection: The blatant denial of a moral or psychological deficiency, which is perceived as a deficiency in another individual or group. he told this when once the family talked about the ghar main ram gali main sham about manorama and panorama and his words were blatant denial of this deficiency within him.

i am not going to talk about him this is just an e.g.
b. immature - AGain Shyam is here, i feel he is going to threaten Babuji soon, very soon. He acts out, retreats into fantasy to resolve inner and outer conflict. the empty chair scenario. the hitting out at the rickshaw driver.
c.Neurotic - Anjali - initially before advent of khushi in her life she always feared she had illness. Also she uses the undoing defense mechanism where she does pooja to the extreme level where by probably trying to undo the negative emotions in her due to her loss.
d. Mature - both Khushi and Arnav are here. One uses, humor, altruism and sublimation while the other uses Anticipation and thought suppression.

Khushi tries to give everyone happiness by being altruistic. turns negative emotions like hurt into positive action, jalebi making.

Arnav suppresses his thoughts, conscious processing of thoughts to preconscious, he is pushing paying attention to an emotion to face the present day reality.
He also does anticipation. he expects discomfort with nani perhaps parading women for him and he brought a solution, live in.

Now with defense mechanism the guy believes he is not into marriage for that reality to face will have him face the emotions he is pushing away. so temporary solution - Live in.


Now coming to color theory that i have about his colorful sweaters. He wears these only at home, shows some color that might be part of him, but he only allows himself these moment when he is in a safe place, his home. the rest of the world canont intrude here. Song for this, I see your true colors shinning through….


His fight with Live-in Vs Marriage

He does not not believe in marriage for the pensive, wistful look he gives when he sees his sister and her husband would not be there. He stays away for he sees a fault within him, may be he is like his father, wires crossed, unable to stray is that the reason he keeps La at a distance too?

What if he is a very sensual, physical person. i mean look at the marks he leaves on Khushi and that is not love making… but even in anger he is very physical…but that is his subconscious working when he is conscious, he stays away from La who he is supposed to display those affections…

He does not refute that there might one day be a girl who might take his breath away, he said, i will stay away. Again a conscious thought so thought suppression and anticipation at play here??

Live in for him is a solution to his problems not his way of life.

He does not want marriage with La of that he is sure, dead sure. But live in a go between a win win situation where he keeps nani bay, La besides him to the extent he wants and not get into the debate of why not marriage…

He is also having traces of Neurotic defense mechanism -Reaction formation: Converting unconscious wishes or impulses that are perceived to be dangerous into their opposites; behaviour that is completely the opposite of what one really wants or feels; taking the opposite belief because the true belief causes anxiety. This defence can work effectively for coping in the short term, but will eventually break down.

I think this is the answer to his Live in acceptance Vs marriage denial… He is running away from himself and La is catching up with him…with the marriage thing…first he had said i will never marry. Mein shaadi main vishwas nahi karta aaj bola… tum meri wife nahi ho aur na kabhi banogi…but what if when khushi had told him about what a marriage was all about he had visualized her..what if..when the dupatta had fallen on her head and he had seen her remove it from over her head he had visualized seeing her as a bride what if when he entered the bedroom and he saw Khushi with the pink dupatta in La rather than La dressed as a bride? He is now coming to a realization of what he was running away from is standing in front of him..and La will be the one to catch that…i am sure..

Anger is another defense mechanism…

Now why he cannot say sorry, though he does to nano and Anjali once or twice but that is not because he has made a mistake but because he is firm on what he believes especially that scene when Nani brings prospective bride, correct me if i am wrong i am writing from memory.


Chick

your point about why the clenched fist. i think he wanted to touch her, soothe her pain… for he had caused and there was anger at himself…