Some ramblings: In love or In compromise?

Originally posted by: jia.astk

Really what is love? There are various definitions of love: adoration, fondness, endearments, idolization, romance, intimacy, compassion, yearning etc.,

Sometimes love just happens and when it happens the next phase is how you take it forward. Having these feelings is just not enough to be in love ; compromise and acceptance also play a prominent role to be in love. However, when a relationship itself becomes an obligation or a compromise! then how long will that last? This what is being shown in various couples of our show; right now they are showing contrast in 4 relationships 2 are in love(Shlok, Astha & Sid, Jyothi) and other 2 are not.

"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together." -- Lisa Kleypas,

"No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater...The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot." -- Sarah Dessen

Shlok-Astha: Love means endearments, intimacy, fondness, protectiveness for Shlok where as it is compassion, warmth, attachment for Astha. He had built a wall around him to not to let anyone enter into his heart at a time due to his past history but she pierced into his heart and broke that wall. Now she has become his weakness, he grabbed onto the second chance he got in his life. Like they say we tend to love all the perfect imperfections when in love. He made some compromises and accepted his love for her; he finally got the love that he yearned for. He always had that physical attraction and obsession for Astha not matter how much he rejected; now the guilt that he hurt her again when he chose his father is disturbing him. He is showering the love much more to her and is alleviating her insecurities - taking off the beard and doing Vat Savitri pooja are just examples to show her he can go to any extent to be with her. Also, both the times she challenged him to prove his love. But his ego is still intact...he didn't apologize her after he chose his baba or after their tiff when she wanted to go to her parent's house for their anniversary. The way he cajoled her on the latter is also in his style, but he wants her to live in his own terms before if it was out of hatred if was commanding her now he is getting it done sneakily. Astha on the other hand is fond of taking up pet projects one after the other and is keeping some big secrets from her love. Is it just a beautiful desire for her or can his love go beyond it? He experienced a myraid of emotions for her during the divorce phase but his loyalty, dedication towards his father can cretae a big rift between them in future. He idolizes his father, how will he react if he finds out what Astha is upto and when the reality strikes him like a thunderbolt; there is another qn here though is he really unaware about his saintly father's true nature? Do they trust each other with out any expectations? I don't think so. Can his love withstand any storm that will come in future with his ego and Astha's insecurity in place?

Couldn't agree more to this! This is actually what I felt... He hasn't changed much... His ego, anger etc are still there...and I'm glad it's there...

There is always a doubt in my mind whether he knows or not...sometimes he makes me wonder... I read somewhere... How can a child not know whats going on between his parents? It isn't possible... I always felt he follows baba just to keep Anjali safe...

Sid-Jyothi: Its adoration and selflessness for Sid and he wants to give a new life to Jyothi but he does not have enough courage to muster about his love even to his mom. She does not want to plunge into a relationship due to her past experience of marriage and also she is not divorced yet. Sid decided to back off for the interest of Astha and after Avdhoot's lecture.But, can he really sacrifice his love for other's benifit? Jyothi herself is not accepting this love then how canhe go beyond this point; first she has to acknowledge it and then she has to be brave enough to move ahead in life. Her family also has to help her in this step as she alone cannot plunge into it.

Her family... They would only help if NA would agree... Or else it's a No No until and unless they run away 😆

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

Varad-Sojal: When there is no freindship or trust there is no marriage or love; this relationship is a simple example of that. She cribs, envies because she is never given importance or he showered any love for her. She is such an insecure person due to her love lorn nest and tries to find solace by being bitchy towards Astha or Jyothi. Sojal tries to show love in her own way but is a person of small talk which Varad detests. For Varad this could be just an arranged marriage, a wedlock that he entered into to please his father. There is a lot of incompatibility, discord in this relationship where he also feels that she is not polished enough for him. She on the other hand feels that just by being beautiful is enough to lure a husband but having a beautiful mind,soul is also important for a happy marriage. She always tried to increase her status in the house by impressing her MIL but not her husband. I can only see obligation here, both of them never tried hard to work towards their relationship and who are to be blamed the most?? Who is going to suffer most out of this disconnected relationship, that is little Kavya.

Love this the most! It's both of their fault... And little Kavya will surely be affected by this... Agree here... 100%.👏

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." -- Pablo Neruda

NA-Anjali: Fear plays a major role in this relationship, but when there is no love, a relationship cannot survive with only fear.I feel Anjali also has some sort of deep emotional attachment with NA other than being his wife and mother of his children.She was worried seeing NA in pain when Shlok, Astha were missing. She might be a victim of domestic violence but is also devoted to him and compromised herself to mould herself according to his wishes. She is a battered women but also is like a stepford wife who believes in old traditions and that a women is nothing without her husband.NA is an insecure bully, she is his backbone and he is nothing with out her, whether he accepts it or not!! Anjali is now getting the warmth, comfort and is building a small support system in the form of Astha, Chachu and her parents. Can she defy NA one day and walk out of this relationship where there is nothing else left for her other than abuse?

Deep attachment? I felt it was a compromise just for her kids... That's it... Or maybe this came afterwards...

NA doesn't realize that whom he degrades is his mouth piece and he wouldn't be able to rule like a ruthless king if she wasn't there... His outer as well as inner part of his head is empty

Originally posted by: jia.astk

Really what is love? There are various definitions of love: adoration, fondness, endearments, idolization, romance, intimacy, compassion, yearning etc.,

Sometimes love just happens and when it happens the next phase is how you take it forward. Having these feelings is just not enough to be in love ; compromise and acceptance also play a prominent role to be in love. However, when a relationship itself becomes an obligation or a compromise! then how long will that last? This what is being shown in various couples of our show; right now they are showing contrast in 4 relationships 2 are in love(Shlok, Astha & Sid, Jyothi) and other 2 are not.

"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together." -- Lisa Kleypas,

"No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater...The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot." -- Sarah Dessen

Shlok-Astha: Love means endearments, intimacy, fondness, protectiveness for Shlok where as it is compassion, warmth, attachment for Astha. He had built a wall around him to not to let anyone enter into his heart at a time due to his past history but she pierced into his heart and broke that wall. Now she has become his weakness, he grabbed onto the second chance he got in his life. Like they say we tend to love all the perfect imperfections when in love. He made some compromises and accepted his love for her; he finally got the love that he yearned for. He always had that physical attraction and obsession for Astha not matter how much he rejected; now the guilt that he hurt her again when he chose his father is disturbing him. He is showering the love much more to her and is alleviating her insecurities - taking off the beard and doing Vat Savitri pooja are just examples to show her he can go to any extent to be with her. Also, both the times she challenged him to prove his love. But his ego is still intact...he didn't apologize her after he chose his baba or after their tiff when she wanted to go to her parent's house for their anniversary. The way he cajoled her on the latter is also in his style, but he wants her to live in his own terms before if it was out of hatred if was commanding her now he is getting it done sneakily. Astha on the other hand is fond of taking up pet projects one after the other and is keeping some big secrets from her love. Is it just a beautiful desire for her or can his love go beyond it? He experienced a myraid of emotions for her during the divorce phase but his loyalty, dedication towards his father can cretae a big rift between them in future. He idolizes his father, how will he react if he finds out what Astha is upto and when the reality strikes him like a thunderbolt; there is another qn here though is he really unaware about his saintly father's true nature? Do they trust each other with out any expectations? I don't think so. Can his love withstand any storm that will come in future with his ego and Astha's insecurity in place?

nice quotes and nice analysis.

Sid-Jyothi: Its adoration and selflessness for Sid and he wants to give a new life to Jyothi but he does not have enough courage to muster about his love even to his mom. She does not want to plunge into a relationship due to her past experience of marriage and also she is not divorced yet. Sid decided to back off for the interest of Astha and after Avdhoot's lecture.But, can he really sacrifice his love for other's benifit? Jyothi herself is not accepting this love then how canhe go beyond this point; first she has to acknowledge it and then she has to be brave enough to move ahead in life. Her family also has to help her in this step as she alone cannot plunge into it.

if aastha tai takes it on herself to give sid-jyothi relationship a name, i can safely skip this love story. i would like it if jyothi files for divorce first and its not hard to prove abhay guilty. he would not have any rights on the child as he is booked under DV. as niranjan will not like this, she could walk out of agni mansion and move in with sid, marriage or not. she should get her degree certificate and other stuff from abhay's house and look for a job.

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

Varad-Sojal: When there is no freindship or trust there is no marriage or love; this relationship is a simple example of that. She cribs, envies because she is never given importance or he showered any love for her. She is such an insecure person due to her love lorn nest and tries to find solace by being bitchy towards Astha or Jyothi. Sojal tries to show love in her own way but is a person of small talk which Varad detests. For Varad this could be just an arranged marriage, a wedlock that he entered into to please his father. Remember Anjali forced Varad once to have a waaris? Anjali might have emotionally blackmailed him on behalf of Niranjan to marry Sojal citing that Niranjan agreed to let him choose a different profession, other than the family business. A compromise that he probably regrets everyday, instead of building the relationship. There is a lot of incompatibility, discord in this relationship where he also feels that she is not polished enough for him. She on the other hand feels that just by being beautiful is enough to lure a husband but having a beautiful mind,soul is also important for a happy marriage. She always tried to increase her status in the house by impressing her MIL but not her husband. Varad himself told Sojal to impress his parents and improve her status, whenever she complained about him not standing up for her and their daughter. How will she become refined if she is never allowed to go out and is always told to shut up? Her source of comfort and guidance is Jaya alone! I can only see obligation here, both of them never tried hard to work towards their relationship and who are to be blamed the most?? Who is going to suffer most out of this disconnected relationship, that is little Kavya.

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." -- Pablo Neruda

NA-Anjali: Fear plays a major role in this relationship, but when there is no love, a relationship cannot survive with only fear.I feel Anjali also has some sort of deep emotional attachment with NA other than being his wife and mother of his children.She was worried seeing NA in pain when Shlok, Astha were missing. She might be a victim of domestic violence but is also devoted to him and compromised herself to mould herself according to his wishes. She is a battered women but also is like a stepford wife who believes in old traditions and that a women is nothing without her husband.NA is an insecure bully, she is his backbone and he is nothing with out her, whether he accepts it or not!! Anjali is now getting the warmth, comfort and is building a small support system in the form of Astha, Chachu and her parents. 😛if chachu could be a support system, anjali could have come out of this relationship. chachu is good at two things, taunting and painting. since he taunts like a MIL and remained unmarried, i'm getting serious doubts on his sexual orientation.😛

on a serious note, i agree that there has to be a stronger reason than "living with niranjan for her kids' sake". it doesn't explain her behaviour when she compromised her kids' happiness for niranjan's sake. Can she defy NA one day and walk out of this relationship where there is nothing else left for her other than abuse?

Originally posted by: .Farah.

Amazing post as always! Loved it very much...😳👏

I just wanted to know... Where do you get these quotes from? They're beautiful! ❤️

Thanks so much for appreciation Farah 😊. oh..I have penchant for quotes and I collect them, it increased after I joined the forum 😛. Some quotes I found on google.

Originally posted by: dsr11

nice post jia. Thanks Rekha

Originally posted by: akashavani

JIA, loved your post very much, 👍🏼

How deeply you expressed shlok and astha,

Yeah a bit worried what shlok will do when he gets to know what astha is doing behind his back... But shlok does know astha very well,

The question is does he know about baba, it looks like he does but if not then shlok will be really shattered... In away must blame anjali for not revealing NA true nature to children, hope shlok does know... And acting out.