Love v/s Ego (FF) ON ASHLOK-by pt311288(pia)
Hello!
Every1 here I am with a FF on ASHLOK do read it and let me know if u liked it...
Please do note that my FF has a different story line from the serial
It's been almost 7 yr when I last saw him the boy who used to be my life ,my love he meant everything to me ...
It's hard to fall in love it's even harder to detach someone from yourself for your mere ego; I have been like this only. Though shlok tried his level best to stay by my side but it was me who hurt him to such an extent that he is barely the same person I used to know few yrs back. I never knew that my silly self respect will be life ending decision for him, Shlok was the only person who stayed by my side in all the phases of life whether good or bad ,whether right or wrong ,whether likable or detestable...
"KAVYA MENTAL ASYLUM" IN PUNE -
Standing outside a place like this where one would never want to visit unless required I was standing there at the reception counter so that I will be allowed to meet him once . Tears were rolling down my cheeks I felt disheartened frustrated and helpless. At the same time guilty for reason behind his misery.
I always called him womanizer, flirt when got annoyed and was not very sure about the consequences of all my deeds that I was doing intentionally to hurt him to annoy him to get detached from him to make him feel that I have no emotion, no love, and no compassion for him. What! A heart less soul I was though deep down my heart I was clear that I won't be able to live without him but he meant nothing to me at that point all I was filled with seer rage and arrogance that time.
I needed time to understand my love for him so took a break of 3 month I asked him for the same I was so happy to realize my true love for him after this break period I felt overjoyed with our reunion but he didn't care about me and all I felt cheated how come he can cheat me who can he betray me I was broken I was deceived.
I didn't talk to any1 but he did what the hell is this??? When I accidentally checked his cell phone few call details along with sent message after a break up period of 3 month. He was not able to keep his promise so finally I made it very clear I am going to bring it to an end, the very next day I shunned him from my life I halted very medium that can let us meet . I stopped interacting with our every common friend all I did was to never get in touch with Shlok Agnihotri
I Aastha kirloskar thought I have moved ahead in life but I am still firmly stuck to that point where I left him I have everything that some1 can aspire for a good life but what I lack is my poor peace of mind my heart never supported me and now my mind is also telling me that how wrong I was then, at least I should have given him a chance to explain himself, but I was such a snob I never cared about any1 else all I cared about myself what a creep I was... now I live a grieving life in memories of him it was the same till Saturday I met Varad and Sojal our (aastha and shlok) only trust worthy common friend. They devastated me again with most unexpected and gloomy accident by telling me about him ( my Shlok) .
He was completely broken when I left him, he felt dejected , he felt miserable , he felt guilty and on sudden dismissal of his mother the only person he loved dearly (other than me ) left him . He was shattered, he got numb lost everything and lost himself too. Now here in this asylum I am to see him after7 long yrs my heart was palpitating fast as if I am getting sudden attack, tears were plummeting through my eyes all I wanted to rush too him to take him into 1 hug after a long period of 7 yrs I left him devastated and now I will amend my mistake I m here Shlok for u please forgive me...
Part-1
Aastha gathered all her courage and went towards reception the girl sitting at reception she gave a meek a smile to her and said " hello! I am Aastha kirloskar I am here to enquire about someone"
Girl replied yes mam tell me the person's name
Aastha - his name is shlok agnihotri he is here from last 5 years
Girl- ok mam let me check yes here it is ... He is special ward of our Asylum but sorry to tell u mam u can't meet him as your name is not mentioned in visitor list and if you know him personally and want to meet him then u need to seek permission from authorities or personal attendant of him, her name is Dr. Swati shah
Aastha nodded and asked her where she can meet Dr. Swati? Receptionist gave her the required details and Aastha left for that place, she walked into her chamber and asked the peon sitting outside her cabin, peon directed her in and she followed her instruction as she entered the room she found a well poised lady of around 25 sitting on her chair smiling at her.
She said to Aastha mam please be seated how may I help you?
Aastha - I am here to meet one patient of yours his name is Shlok... Shlok Agnihotri he is in this asylum from last five years saying this a lone tear dropped from the corner of her eye.
Swati - gave her a big smile and asked her are u Aastha kirloskar???
Aastha nodded with an anticipated look that how come she knows my name???? Or may she know it because Shlok told her so??????
Swati - well your guess is right Shlok only told me about you . Once he told me that the world's most innocent face will come to you asking about me that will be my Aastha indeed... And look he was true you came asking for him. I almost left the hope that u will come some day???? But u proved me wrong I am so happy that u are here well lets go I will show u shlok's room but u cannot talk to him write now he is sleeping right now Aastha nodded and they left for his room .
His room was a plane room with one bed and a stool nearby to it he was sleeping peace fully in his room the room was painted white with no marks of stain on it Aastha was seeing his back and she felt numb at that very moment she wanted to reach to him to touch him to embrace him but she felt rooted to her place. she was teary, seeing her teary eyes Swati taped her soldier lightly and said its ok let them come out he is here u can go n see him till then I am going to see my other patient with this she left Aastha alone in his room ...
Mujhko iraade de Kasamein de, waade de
Meri duaaon ke ishaaron ko sahaare de
Dil ko thikaane de Naye bahaane de
Khaabon ki baarishon ko Mausam ke paimane de
Apne karam ki kar adaayein Kar de idhar bhi tu nigaahein
Sun raha hai naa tu Ro rahi hun main
Sun rahi hai naa tu Kyun ro rahi hun main .
Aastha stared at Shlok started moving towards him on seeing his face after seven yrs she felt so pale that she found herself still at that place she wanted to go closer to him but all her attempt were futile , she started crying badly
Manzilein ruswa hain Khoya hai raasta
Aaye le jaaye Itni si iltejaa
Ye meri zamanat hai Tu meri amaanat hai haan...
Apne karam ki kar adayein Kar de idhar bhi tu nigaahein
Sun raha hai naa tu Ro rahi hoon main
Sun raha hai naa tu Kyun ro rahi hun main
" why I did this to you how cruel I am , I am responsible for your this state please forgive me Shlok please forgive me" and she moved closer to him sat on the stool placed at corner of his bed she stared at his face ...
Waqt bhi thehara hai Kaise kyun ye huaa
Kaash tu aise aaye Jaise koi duaa
Tu rooh ki raahat hai Tu meri ibaadat hai
Apne karam ki kar adaayein Kar de idhar bhi tu nigaahein
Sun raha hai naa tu Ro rahi hoon main
Sun raha hai naa tu Kyun ro rahi hun main
He still looks so cute his cheek are more cubby now... brooding this she took his hand on her hand she squeezed his hand placed his hand on her cheek she pecked on him palm she then pecked on his lips those petal soft lips she felt a jolt of desire rushing down her spine . she was looking at him tears were making their way down her eyes...
At Swati's cabin-
Swati was standing near the window porch of her cabin she didn't know what to do whether she should feel happy for Shlok or she should cry her heart out. All she wanted is cure Shlok and she knew that Aastha is his remedy but today she felt like she lost Shlok again ...
Firstly it was when she went to US for her education then Aastha came into his life and now again she came back in his life...
she has loved Shlok always it was unbearable for her to see him in such mental trauma she always prayed from god to bring Aastha back in his life and now she is back she wanted her to go away from his life ... She knew that Shlok will love no one leaving Aastha but though as a patient she used to spend lot of time with him. His trauma and his pain always made her cry though she hated Aastha from the core of heart but she loved Shlok too and Sholk is in complete without Aastha that was very clear to her .
when I came to know about Aastha from him all I felt a rage against her because she took my Shlok away from me and at the same time I was happy for Shlok as he was truly in love with her I never found him so desperate about anyone it was Aastha for whom he was so mad ??? he used to tell me about her a lot though I felt bad as I always loved him but more than my feeling I wanted him to be happy but at the end what happened she left him, the girl I thought to be blessed one proved to be cursed one for my Shlok she left him even without telling him once what a heartless soul !
I and shlok were child hood friends I always loved him but never told him anything may be I was searching for right time or maybe I wanted to make my career before my life, so I went to US for my higher education while Shlok remained in India there he met Aastha they fell in love instantly and their love bloomed each passing till the final year of their graduation. In their final yr they started facing different issue some time it was from Aastha side some time it was from Shlok's side. Aatha thought for a much needed break and they decided to take a break of 3 months to check whether they really wanted to be with each other or it was just a infatuation for a time being period for them ... Aatha realized her love for Shlok was more than anything in this world, then why she left him?
Swati tried many time to talk about this from Shlok but whenever she tried his condition worsened as if he has still not accepted that Aastha left him all he would say-
"why u left me Aastha even without telling anything to me? Why you left me when I was even not told about my mistake? What did I do? at least you should have given a chance to explain myself to you all you remained prejudiced how could you do this to me? How could you Aastha"
Why she left him? I need to know this why she betrayed him? I need to confront her I need my answers and also Shlok's questions need to be answered she made a strong mind and started moving towards Shlok's room.
Shlok's room-
Aastha was still holding Shlok hand and was continuously looking at his face he was sleeping so peacefully the serene look on his face made her heart a little contend she was caressing his hair when she suddenly came out of her trance as she felt some one taped her soldier from back she looked back and found Swati their she gave a meek smile to her when Swati asked her to come with her as she wanted to show something to Aastha she quietly nodded and followed her she took her to room which was segregated from rest of the rooms of Asylum at the end of corridor with a name plate on it saying
"Aastha"
They stepped inside it was all dark when Swati lit the room it was a room whitewashed with lively colors and every corner of that room contained some belongings of Aastha her poster were there at every corner some smiling, some pouting, some angry glare some funny moment each moment that she and shlok had spent together ...
That room had everything that belonged to her and Shlok all the gift and card they used to give each other all other stuff was present their Aastha for an instant almost forgot everything and she started smiling with lots of emotion coming on her face but suddenly she realized where she was in the same asylum where her Shlok is living from past 5 yrs .
Swati looked at her and then said surprised? But its true Aastha this room belongs to you whenever he behaves normal he comes to this room & spend his quality time here I have seen the pain in his eyes of loosing you he loved you like anything and what you did to him ? You betrayed him you ruined his life, how could you do this to him, you should have at least given a chance to him u didn't tell him anything and left him devastated. You know what Aastha I am with him from last five yrs and in these 5 yrs his condition worsened each passing day, You were there in his memories you were there in his pain, you were there in his tears, you were there in his plight it's because of you he is suffering this much u betrayed him Aastha .
part 2- page 6
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
