Er...Hello? LOL, peep in already!

Disclaimer: LOL, just kidding. No disclaimers nothing. Oh, just a heads up though. Its kinda pretty long [like any oher post I make, ROFL].

Note: This basically is what I've been through since the day its been oficially announced that IPK3 is being pulled off air, to this very day.

Oh God. How long has it been since I last posted?

The last I remember sitting in front of my lappy for anything other than work is the day it has been officially declared that IPK3 is being pulled off air. I have, [you will have to blindly trust me upon this, or not] many a times tried to squeeze in sometime - time enough to sit down and write something.

Now that I look back, I think it is for the best that I have sit down now to write up a few things. You see, the last 2 weeks shall forever remain extremely special and important for me.

Firstly, let me begin with a huge hello [incase you guys know me and remember me. If not, its fine, duh. I'm Chaverah and I'm called Candy]. How have you guys been? I hope everything is good.

For me, it has been way more than good. Extremely good, tbh.

Where have I been all these days?

Well, shuffling between cities. I'm not sure how many of you are aware, but, I am a Senior Systems Engineer in one of the leading MNCs of our country. I've been campus recruited and honestly, it did not take me much time to realize that I am not cut out for Software. I am not saying Software is a bad field. Its just that, my priorities and me as a person do not sit well with the demands of this profession. And those close to me are aware that I have been, for the past few months been busy with my resignation process.

It is a decision I have taken a year back but due to prior commitments of the projects I have been working in, I had to stay put for this long. Anyhow, now..phew!

Yup, I have resigned from my job and am currently a free spirit, or otherwise also called, an unemployee. And the past fortnight, that's where I've been. Busy.

Why am I sharing all this now?

Because I want to share what the past fortnight has been to me, duh. Also, one of my friends said I am doing exactly what Arjun Aanand did in THMS and that makes me immensely happy - the pahnki way, LOL.

What is it got to do anything with IPK3?

Honestly, nothing. But is sure has got a bit and two to do with the ending of IPK3, the THMS promotions and Barun. And how it has effected me during this crucial and critical turn of my life.

Haow?

I have always considered myself a complexly simple person. A mix of contradictions - something I really love. Oh yes, I like myself. A lot!

I am not perfect. Hell no. I am far from it. But I like the way I am flawed. I might sound pompous and proud here, but trust me, I just want to put a bit of whats and whys here in a hope that I might come in help to atleast one person out there.

Anyway, back to the topic, like I said before, the past fortnight has been special. Kyun?

There is a difference between acceptance and embracing. Liking and loving.

While I have long back accepted the person that I am, always liked the way I constant shape myself up, it took me THMS interviews to realize that I haven't honestly embraced myself.

When I first heard that IPK3 is being pulled off air, I swear, I felt an ache in my heart. I was already exhausted with my work. I was drafting the recent update of my FF, Like Never Before. And I had DeepAkka ping me that IPK3 is being pulled off air. It was night and I was numbed.

Uthra Akka was out on a vacation and I couldn't ping her to share this and go ballistic, coz, hey, you just cant go spoil someone's family vacation.

Sana, DeepAkka and I went crazy and I tried, oh God, I remember I tried like hell to sleep, in effing vain!

I woke up hoping that IPK3 gets atleast a 3 month extension. Infact, I was praying it does. [yeah, sounds childish now, but hey, I am not mature all the time, yaar]. Twitter was raining with hate+pleading+dhamki tweets, mostly directed at Harneet. And yes, like the most, I too blamed the crap of a writing that IPK3 has turned into. [but mind you, I never sent her any personal tweets, or even mentioned her in any tweets or even blamed her anywhere in the tweets.] All the anger was confined within DM groups. [And that is how it should be. Public and social networking sites are powerful platforms and one must learn how to exercise that power, in the right way.] Coz, I strongly believe that, if you don't have anything good to say, its better you don't say anything at all. Agreed, one has the right to express but never at the cost of hurting/bad-mouthing someone.

By afternoon, there were a few theories coming up, one of which made total sense to me. Or I liked to believe at that point.

A theory that there have been creative differences between Gul and StarPlus. It, of course, is no shocker. It has been quite clear a lot of times that SP has been butting way too much into IPK's writing and the disaster was always out loud and clear. Am not saying the entire fault is SP's. I'm just saying that the entire fault is no one's here. It is a collective and collateral damage. From what little I've known, Gul refused to buck down and let the story be butchered anymore than it already has been [for which I shall always respect, be thankful and awed]. And the only way this fiasco could be settled was to pull the plug.

Now, is this true?

I have no freaking idea, LOL!

I am just telling what I went through that day. [ya people need to stop taking me too seriously, duh. If you are taking, that is.]

By evening, I was re-watching the episodes [the disaster Sasha ones coz I skipped a lot of them]. While people kept saying that Barun looked exhausted, I was actually taken aback. Barun looked low. Yes, there are times he looked exhausted - the right of exhaustion [thanks to the THMS promotions]. But there undoubtedly are times he looked..I don't know what exact word would describe him. For me, it felt like seeing Barun during the Mrs.India track of IPK1, all over again.

And that..came as a blow. It took me just a second and I wanted the show to go off air. I'd rather watch Barun once in 5 years doing stuff he likes and rocking his element, than see him doing something he's not happy but stuck with. [there is a reason I call myself a phanki. I might sound harsh, rash and selfish, but well, I told you..I'm not perfect.]

When the night came, I was so mad. I really was. The sadness dissipated and in came anger. I remember raging in the twitter DM group ki I want Barun to take up a finite series. In any channel but SP. And hopefully somehow Shivani gets the lead opposite him. And they would create a magic that would take the industry by storm [in the right way, for the right reasons]. And that Harneet and SP would wail and feel as sad and pained as all the IPK3 fans are, coz, they could've created that storm but royally messed it up.

Can you believe that I was being so childish and stupid? I am not kidding, I swear I typed paras after paras in the group and all Sana, DeepAkka and Uthra Akka were on the receiving side of my rage rampage.

Phir? Phir kya hua?

Hua ye tha behen log, ki Barun's interview came up.

And?

And kya? That's all. That's all I needed to wake up from a delusional slumber that I seemed to have slipped into and stuck in.

No. I am not taking anything away from the sadness and pain of having the show shut down. Hell no. I still stand by my words ki IPK3 has an extremely strong and beautiful base plot. It has astounding team of actors, crew and really talented writers. And all of that has been wasted in the hullaballoo of the TRPs. They weren't given the chance they deserved.

The fact that this is all left unexplored, more so, the AdNi's immensely beautiful story [and chemistry, needless to say] has been actually left untouched saddens me even now. It is truly unfortunate and unfair.

But...that's that.

When I saw how positively Barun dealt and is dealing with this entire stuff, when I've seen how gracefully and dignified Shivani has dealt with this ordeal, when I saw how professionally and positively the entire cast and crew have taken this mess; I felt ashamed.

Coz, I've put myself in their shoes [a weakness of every writer] and imagined how I'd have reacted and dealt with it. And when I saw how they have dealt, I've had a virtual slap across my face.

I have been so consumed in pain and anger and disappointment that I refused to look at anything beyond that little dark box. As a person who has always preached and practiced to never judge anyone or anything, not unless you've been in their shoes and walked their journey; the amount of times I've have gone mad over Gul, SP and Harneet made me really ashamed of myself.

Whatever might be the reasons and factors, these are the people who brought Barun back onto my TV screen after 5 long years. Gave him the welcome he deserves.

Yes, the show should've been dealt more better, but I am sure I know not even 5% of what went behind this huge decision.

And I, at that moment realized that, I have no f**king right to be angry at them. If anything, I should and am grateful. For 3 months of blissful Barun-ilicious episodes. 3 months of Advay Singh Raizada - a character I have fallen irrevocably in love with. A character that revealed how astoundingly refined and majestically powerful Barun has become with his acting.

Then began the interviews of TuHainMeraSunday.

One after another. It was raining Barun and my twitter has been celebrating Christmas in goddamned October itself!

I don't exactly remember the day, but I got to know that my Amma [Cadbury, if you remember] has to undergo a surgery [which she did and is pretty awesome now.] and I was shuffling between resignation process and taking up a few competitive exams [coz hey, I'm not planning on staying unemployed for long, you see]. So yeah, you get the idea. I was being extremely busy. And whenever I managed, I kept retweeting stuff so that I could go by my timeline at the end of the day and catch up stuff when I get the time to breathe.

Toh..it so happened ki, there was a day when a lot of interviews about/of/by Barun came up. Like I said before, I feel connected to this guy. May be because of the similar way we think or perceive things or I don't know. I just feel connected. And...I was going through the interviews and all of a sudden, amidst all the chaos, I felt a calm descend over me. Oh, let me add that, I was personally having an extremely low day [someone close said something and I took it to heart].

It was, I still remember vividly. I was just walking to my home and stuff from Barun's interviews kept resonating in my head and...it was just a few seconds when I realized that...I have always accepted myself, but never truly embraced.

I kept waiting for someone special to do that. Hoping that someday, some guy would barge into my life and understand me for everything that I am. Mostly, my flaws, coz I love my flaws. Someone who would cherish me, celebrate every single thing of me.

But why? Why wait for someone? Why the f**k can I not be that someone?

Trust me, sweethearts, the moment you embrace yourself, you will see the world in a different light. Coz when you embrace yourself, acceptance of others makes no difference on how you love and live yourself and your life. That freedom and joy is on a completely different level and I pray that everyone experiences that.

I do not know if Barun or his interviews that oozed positivity, warmth and life in general is any reason for that sudden shift. But I do know that, he sure gave a push [even if indirectly and pretty small].

Embrace yourself. Embrace the good. Let the bad be bygones.

Don't let negativity weigh you down. And by negativity, I mean even the disappointment, anger, pain and sadness too. Look beyond that with hope and faith that something much better and bigger is coming your way.

Breathe, sweet people. Live.

The very next day, Aamir Khan tweeted about Tu Hai Mera Sunday. And by then, ladies, let me tell you that Candy was back into her Barun's phanki mode to the effing highest level [thanks to the Budda's gyaan alike moment I had, LMAO.]!

Needless to say, I retweeted the crap out of every tweet that had THMS and IPK3 tagged in it [did I say retweeted? Sorry, my bad. I still am retweeting like a crazy girl high on dope!]

So, what are you trying to say?

That I have had extremely wonderful wonderful 7 months or so. 4 months of anticipation and 3 months of the show. 7 months of new friendships, mess, writings, drooling, fangirling, overwhelming moments...the list goes on.

IPK3 has not only given me 3 months of Barun on my TV [with innumerous caps to drool over], but it also has given me 3 wonderful women - Sana, DeepAkka and Uthra Akka, who have erased the virtual boundary that once existed. You guys...I am not gonna let go.

And the best part of it all? I've got my very own sister - Uthra. She has seen my worst of times and the best. She is one of the very few who has witnessed what a complex mess I am. And yet, miraculously, somehow, she kind of likes me enough to still keep up and stay with me [dropping a few swats on my ass from time to time]. Lady, I love you to hell and back. Jo sach hain, woh sach hain. Bas.

Now, I can not begin to take names coz I am sure I will forget half of them and then will have to keep editing this post. But remember this. If I have anytime interacted with you [even if once], commented on your thread or your post, yaaron, you guys are awesome!

Every single one of you is wonderful and really amazing! Virtual world pe hi sahi, but ithne saare dost? Oh Gawd!

I really really appreciate every single moment we've spent. Good or bad, they are all special. I am grateful and really happy that I have known, talked and spent time you guys.

Nope. I am not going to say good bye.

Nu-uh. Coz, I know that we shall all meet. Again.

Be that for the web series that Barun's gonna take up [fingers crossed and touchwood], or the future films, or the future finite series.

Whenever Barun's gonna come up with new work, I know and am sure that we'll all meet up again.

Right now, get onto twitter and spread the amazing stuff that Tu Hai Mera Sunday is offering. If it is being telecasted near the places you live, do watch it. Not only coz it has Barun and he has really kicked some ass but also coz it is a really wonderful film.

I have planned to write an FF on AdNi way back, but since the time hasn't been permitting, I kept pushing it away. Time still is a really restraining factor here, but I do hope to pen it down sometime early next year. Hopefully, I'll have my slice of satisfaction of recreating an AdNi's world in my words.

Hmm...what else?

Haan, bas ithna hi. I wrote as lengthy as an update.

But hey, by now, you must've gotten used to the length of my posts, hain na?

Else, aadath daal lo. When we'll meet in a new forum, thab bhi, I'll be posting posts as lengthy as this!

P.S:

I am on twitter. @CandyMeanders . Follow, tweet, DM, whatever you want, incase you wanna keep in touch. I shall get back to you as soon as I can.

Or, there's a link in my signature that leads to my blog. You can catch me up there as well.

Originally posted by: _Chaverah_

By evening, I was re-watching the episodes [the disaster Sasha ones coz I skipped a lot of them]. While people kept saying that Barun looked exhausted, I was actually taken aback. Barun looked low. Yes, there are times he looked exhausted - the right of exhaustion [thanks to the THMS promotions]. But there undoubtedly are times he looked..I don't know what exact word would describe him. For me, it felt like seeing Barun during the Mrs.India track of IPK1, all over again.

And that..came as a blow. It took me just a second and I wanted the show to go off air. I'd rather watch Barun once in 5 years doing stuff he likes and rocking his element, than see him doing something he's not happy but stuck with.