Posted:
So i have my internal exam tomorrow and I haven't finished studying yet, and I had to get this OS out of my system so that i could go back to studying without having this plot bunny jumping around.
So here it goes. Sorry I haven't sent PM's. Hoping you'd like this one.
Dua
Just when she was about to turn her back on him to walk away, he held her hand to stop her; something that he should have done three years ago when she had quietly packed her bags after Shivaay and Annika's wedding. He had tried to look for her everywhere, despite the request for forbidding him to do so in the tiny sticky note she's left behind- something that he re-read every single day. And now, when he'd found her in a god-forsaken place, she was ready with her bags packed, ready to leave to some other city.
"Kyun chali gayi thi tum?" he asked, with his voice lacing in angst. She was amazed how the pain in his voice could still cause her heart to ache; the same heart that he had crushed numerous times- sometimes by questioning her character, sometimes by raising his hand on her, and numerous times by asking her to get out of his house in the most disrespectful manner ever. She let an unemotional chuckle escape her lips after she looked into his eyes, and he felt the pain in the smile that she forced- a smile that never reached her eyes.
"Beethi baton ko yaad karke kya faayda, Oberoi Sahab?" The formality in her sentence struck him hard; how easy was it for her to switch from Omkaraji to Oberoi Sahab? His grip on her wrist tightened hard enough not to hurt her, "Itna aasaan hai kya, sab kuch apne peeche chodkar chale aana? Aur phir yeh bolna ke woh sab beethi baatein hain? Kya sach mein tumhe meri yaad nahi aati? Kyunki sach kahoon? Meri zindagi sirf tumhare yaadon ke sahare kat rahi hai." She kept looking into his eyes; he spoke the truth; he always did. She held his hand to pull it away from hers, and he obliged.
"Aapko bass aadat thi hamari." she said in a soft yet steady voice. "Aur tum abb bhi meri aadat ho!" he said, hoping she would melt at the choice of his words. How wrong was he! For she wasn't the same Gauri Kumari Sharma that stepped into his life back then. The Gauri Kumari Sharma who stood in front of him was different- a more confident and self-reliable person. He missed his chiraiyya, for this Gauri had traded an ice cold heart for her warm and loving one, and the person in front of him showed no mercy to any pain.
"Kya sab kuch pehle ki tarah nahi ho sakta?" he dared to ask, only to meet her cold gaze. "Kyun?" she questioned. She watched his lips quiver, and she knew that just as he had stayed silent years back, he would still not be able to say anything. She turned around, ready to board the bus to leave the city when she heard him call out to her. Turning around, she saw him on his knees with his head lowered, and his gaze to the floor. The old Gauri would've run to him and comforted his broken self. But that wasn't the case, and the Gauri that was left behind had no more compassion left in her heart anymore.
"Kyunki main jaan gaya hoon ke meri zindagi mein tumhari kya jagah, kya ehmiyat hai. Jaan gaya hoon ke tum meri aadat hi nahi, meri khushi, meri taaqat, mera guroor, meri zaroorat ho. Jo baat mujhe teen saal pehle kehni chahiye thi, woh main aaj kehna chahta hoon. Tum meri dil ka hissa nahi ho; tum uss dil ki dhadkan ho. Tum meri zindagi ka hissa nahi ho; tum meri saanson ki zaroorat ho. Tumhare bina aaj tak main sirf zinda tha; tum meri jeene ki wajah ho; mera sukoon ho, mera hamsafar ho; mera sab kuch ho." He looked up to watch her looking at him, and his heart ached to see her face devoid of emotions.
He paused for a while, waiting for her to say something, but as seconds passed, he knew she wasn't going to say a word. "Tumhe abhi bhi kuch nahi kehna? Kya abhi bhi door jaana chahti ho mujhse?" he asked, still on his knees. She sighed, "Bahot der kar di aapne, Oberoi Sahab. Kyunki jo Gauri aapke saanson ki zaroorat aur aapke dil ki dhadkan thi, woh kab ki marr chuki hai. Aur ab, iss Gauri Sharma ke paas aapko dene ke liye na koi khushi hai, na taaqat, aur na koi aur wajah! Yeh Gauri Sharma na kisi ke jeene ki wajah banna chahthi hai, aur na hi kisi ka hamsafar."
She did not wait for him to react to her words, for she still didn't trust the wretched heart of hers that still sometimes beat for him, despite all that she bore for his happiness at one point of time. She knew it would take one look of vulnerability from him and her heart would lose itself to him, only to have it broken again. And so, she picked her bag and was about to board the bus, when she felt a tug on the loose end of her shawl. "Toh kya hamare beech mein kabhi kuch tha hi nahi? Kya tumne mujhse kabhi pyaar kiya hi nahi?" She could sense the desperation in his voice, and it was so tempting to give into what he was pleading from her. However her heart had been hurt beyond repair. There was too much of bitterness, too much of pain to soothe; something that would take more than a lifetime. And she was done being the sacrificing one in the relationship.
Without turning back, she said, "Pyaar tha, Oberoi Sahab. Lekin woh waqt galat tha. Aur ab, waqt ke saath, woh pyaar bhi mit gaya, aur woh beinteha pyaar karnewali ladki bhi..." She felt the edge of her dupatta left loose now. She boarded the bus, to leave to a new city. He watched her go away, eaving his heart shattered again. He had hurt her beyond repair; he probably deserved this. So, this time as he watched the bus move away, he looked to the skies and whispered to the air, "duniya ke kisi bhi koney mein bhi woh jaaye, usey bass khush rakhna... uski khushi mein main apni khushi doondh loonga..." A tear sliding down his cheek was witness to his solemn prayer.
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Comments/ Criticisms welcomed.
