Posted:
Hello! I know I'm late as Gauri is already back but this is nowhere near what the show is currently showing. This song is a favorite of mine because it has such simple and poignant lyrics that reach somewhere deep down, where no one is allowed to go. I do hope you guys like this part because all of you have given so much love to the #1 OS of this. This is a follow up to Gunaah and as I said, it's about Gauri. I really don't know whetheryou guys will like the way this one will go. Would love to hear from you.
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Day 3, July (it was months and months of back and forth)
It is quiet and then there are odd sounds all around. She grumbles a little, still exhausted with the previous day's exertion while hunting for a job. It is quite unsettling, to wake up in a heated room without a familiar weight beside herself, she frowns as she sits up with half-closed eyes.
Also unsettling is to find herself not alone. Shivaay Singh Oberoi leans against the window of the tiny motel room that she has been calling home these days.
Bade bhaiiya puts on lots of points to take her back until she spills out the whole truth that starts from Bareilly and ends on the fateful night when she had finally had the courage to chose her self-respect over her pati parmeshwar. He stares at her for a whole of five minutes in horror before falling to his knees at her feet. There are apologies from him but it's too little and a bit too late. Not to mention the fact that they come from the wrong person.
Later, when he has calmed down, he puts down his terms. After lot of hesitation and knowing that he won't leave unless she does, she agrees to some while he compromises on many of them because both of them have a stubborn streak running through them. He leaves her in peace with some promises and she gets back to rearranging her life from scratch.
Day 5, August (You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore)
She wakes up to the smell of frying jalebies that still feel out of place but so right. Because she has never had the right to get used to the smell of paints. That the room doesn't smell like paints.
His paints.
It is the first thing that she realizes every morning since shifting here other than the fact the she is utterly alone. On the bed, in the room, in the damned flat. She is alone in this chosen life of hers. It is a sudden blankness that surrounds her, cloaked under a blanket of sorrow.
She crawls back under the duvet, feeling helpless for quite a long time before finally gathering the courage to peek out and face the day. The room doesn't have tiny multi-coloured bottles scattered all over surfaces. There are no stray pencils and paper getting under her feet yet she keeps a constant lookout for them. There is no phone lying carelessly on the sofa or her bed, neither are there any hair ties on the small bedside table. It takes a very long time for her to get ready and step out the door. The day is over in what feels like an eternity until she steps out of the studio to see that night has already fallen.
One day at a time, she chants to herself before beginning the trek back to her tiny flat, unaware of the security detail that tails her, ensuring that each of her step lead to safety.
Day 7, September ( the drought was the very worst )
It all goes quite well until he moves into the flat opposite her. He has sharp features, with infinite manners. And a manbun, she finishes with a whisper while he leans against her door casually with an offering of pastries in his hands, introducing himself.
"I burned half of the batter before giving in and going downstairs to buy some. They're quite good," he shakes the tray right under her nose. It forces a smile on her lips.
It is all wrong, she realises as her nimble fingers stretch out to pluck a pastry off. The cheekbones are too sharp and the eyes are the wrong colour. The hair, she can't see much of it, so it it spared. So is the dress-up: leather. She bites into the pastry simply out of courtesy only to have her mouth fill with the taste of grief that spreads rapidly through her body. She would've thought it to be a setup by her brother-in-law but the broken man she has seen at her feet would never do something this low. Neither would the promise he has made as a brother permit him to let anyone else do it.
She smiles for the whole ten minutes he stands on her doorstep, nodding her head, not really listening to what he is saying, even though it hurts like hell and reminds her of things and a face she is desperate to forget. But she has worked her way through two months and this surprisingly doesn't really feel hard the next day when he flashes a polite smile at her as she is leaving for work. By the end of the week, she waves back a hesitant goodbye to him that isn't born entirely out of politeness.
Day 10, October ( and when I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe )
The jalebies are a relief, a break and she is quite proud of the fact that she can now barely even remember the smell of colours. The missing stuff become part of a fond memory, giving way to other things. It now takes only 10 minutes for her to get out of the bed and get ready for her day.
"Hi, I'm Naina, an art student and this is very embarrassing but I've been seeing you everyday here and you're very beautiful. Can I sketch you?" the girl says all of this in a single breath leaving Gauri gaping at her. She is in a park, a place she frequents these days after work.
"I want to paint you." the words ring loudly in her ears, taking her back to that night before she shakes her head to clear her thoughts.
The girl takes it to be a no and walks off with a quick apology while the park fades away to nothingness in her eyes. She runs all the way back to her flat only to collapse in a crying heap right inside the door. It all comes rushing out; the pain, the regret, the sorrow and the loss. It is an avalanche, quick to start, difficult to control as it moves with a breakneck speed, destroying and taking along everything in its path. She cries until it is very dark, both inside the room and outside the window. She cries until the moon is up, shining through and keeping company to her lonely self. She cries until the only thing in her mouth is the salty taste of her own tears and numb limbs that refuse movement. She cries it all out until a soft warmth suddenly spreads from her heart as a rejuvenating ray that feels temptingly like hope.
This time, she doesn't hesitate. Because she knows, you cannot break what is already broken and broken things can be fixed. No matter how long it takes. So she spreads her arms out, hugging herself tightly to keep a hold of that, vowing to never let go of it, feeling free for the first time in months.
Day 24, December ( gone was any trace of you, I think I'm finally clean )
She stretches in bed, craving for the sweet delicacy being made just two floors down. It's become a habit now. She smiles a content smile as the tempting smell wafts in from the window, swiftly moving off the bed and getting into her routine. She talks all the way through her run with him and he keeps up a chatter of his own, exchanging hilarious stories that seem to have absolutely no end.
Sometimes you are supposed to fall for the wrong person simply so you can appreciate the right person when they come along. As for the wrong people, there are some you carry like medals while there are some who are permanent bruises and scars on your body. They don't hurt anymore but they just stay put, almost as a reminder. Sometimes you love someone and endure everything, every pain until the one day you snap. That one day, you simply choose yourself over them, for once and walk out with the leftovers of your dignity to save yourself instead of being a helpless victim.
"You are very beautiful and everyone in my class wants to know this mysterious muse of mine," Naina flops down on the bench beside her before dropping a newspaper in her lap. "Hold this for me, I'll just get some chips."
She agreed to Naina's request the very next week in October, by seeking the young girl out in the crowded park, the girl practically danced with happiness. Naina becomes a fast friend, sketching her and sharing mundane thing from her college that Gauri absolutely loves to hear.
She casually runs her eyes on the front page, only to see his face staring back at her. For a moment, everything stills and all she can hear is her own heart pounding loudly in her ears. After a moment, she blinks, searching herself only to come up empty-handed. There's nothing, no regret, no pain. A content smile plays on her lips as she reads the article with a fair bit of interest because some people stay with you, tucked under a dark corner of your heart, making a home for themselves like unwanted guests. Some people are written on you with a permanent marker, that refuses to budge, no matter how hard you try.
But then maybe, you simply don't try hard enough.
*Ye waraq waraq teri dastaan, ye sabak sabak tere tazkere...
Main karu to kaise juda karu, tujhe zindagi ki kitab se...!*
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Done, I hope you guys liked it. I wanted it to be left like that. Feedback is welcome. What do you guys think? Was this good? Satisfying?
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Bindi
