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"Apna Hai Yaan Hai Gair Wo..?"
He glared up at her window. His eyes, burning with rage. His blood flowing like hot gushing Lava. But suddenly the fire died down. He saw her. She was looking up at the moon. He din't know whether he was angry at her absence from the window, because he din't see her or otherwise. She suddenly calmed him down, her mere presence did it. The dark night seemed illuminated. She was there after all. His Chaand. The conflicting emotions within him made it difficult for him to breathe.
"Tum naa paagal ho...Chaand ki tarah raat ke andhere mein nikal aati ho!" His own voice echoed in his head. He wanted to smile but couldn't. The pain in his heart was lightened, but still something held his heart, in control.
She always was wild and frenzy like the moon. Entered his life, like a wild fire. Beating his darkness she claimed him. He had hidden himself, the real HIM in a dark room. A pitch dark room, scared that being emotional, he would be hurt by the world. She was scared of darkness but bravely fought it and illuminated his world, taught him that it was okay to live in light. Made him realise he was brave enough to be himself, be Shivaay and not SSO, in front of the world. Assured him she will be there as his protector. His " Jhansi Ki Raani", made him realise he was strong enough to fight back as Shivaay also, not just SSO. He became the Sun of her LIFE.
She had never felt the soothing sun, just the scorching sun was what she knew. He brought in a new sunshine into her life. He became her Sun. Gave her the warmth she had longed for. Gave her the scattering rays of love and care, engulfing her, in his warmth. He nourished her with his companionship. He lit up her world like no one else could. He understood her the way, no one else could.
He was the SUN.
She was The MOON.
He died down to let the world know her beauty.
She reflected his beauty into the world.
They met when the world slept.
They also let the world witness their love a few times.
There were eclipses, but there was Beauty in the purity of love.
She looked at the moon of the sky, while he looked at his moon. While her eyes longed to see the Moon meet the Sun to give her a new day. He longed for his moon to be back in his life and illuminate the darkness, once again.
He stayed there as long as she was at the window, drinking her into his soul through his eyes. Once she left the window the darkness seeped in again. He remembered where he was, why he was there. "Happy Home Chawl" he wanted to buy it, to destroy her once again because she had dared to strike at his family. What was he doing? Why was he doing it? Did he really want to destroy her, all over again? NEVER. Never in the wildest Nightmare. Then..?
Her words echoed, the ones she had said before leaving. She said she wanted to cause a rift in the family, she wanted to divide them. She had raised finger on Omkara's birth. NO. He cant take that.
But she saved not only him but also his brothers and family from multiple dangers at time. He had broken her, and yet she stood by him through the thin and thick not letting him break. She had never seen family, never been loved, but she gave it all to him and his family. And he...wanted to destroy her?
How could he even think of it?
He was lost in his thoughts when, a few goons came by, asking him for his wallet. He was willing to give them the wallet, the phone, the watch, also offered the car, and asked them to hit him in return. The goons laughed, some crazy fellow. He instigated them to beat him. He deserved every bit of it. They hit him.
On the face.
He remembered how he insulted her.
On the nose. It pained.
He remembered how he tortured her, to marry him.
Punched him on the stomach.
He remembered how he always blamed her and gave her pain.
He asked them to hit him more he was bleeding, but still hadn't had enough.
They kicked him and pushed him.
He remembered how he pushed her out.
She looked at herself in the mirror. She had changed into her night patialas and sleeveless white kurti, and a white dupaata with coloured dots, over her shoulders. She looked at the mangalsutra. He was and would always be her husband no matter what. It was strange that she was forced into this wedding and forced out of it as well but she still respected it. First time, because somewhere down her heart knew it belonged to HIM. And the Second, because she knew, She Couldn't Let Him Go, No Matter What.!
The sacred necklace slipped from her hand but she caught it in time. Her heartbeats racing her breathing become heavy. She felt uneasy. Fear gripped her stomach, why did she feel he wasn't alright?
Tying the magalsutra securely around her neck she walked out to have a stroll in the fresh air, perhaps she might feel better. Chanda and her parents were out to a relative's place. She locked the door and went down. The empty house just din't make her feel good. She had got used to a family now, perhaps.
He walked his leg almost limping, in pain. The goons took everything including the car and left. That wasn't the concern. It was is heart ...It dint seem to be at peace. His eyes dark pools of pain, looked ahead at the night sky. She walked, out towards the isolated street, the breeze made her dupatta stick to her body. She folded her hands, her body felt cold just like her heart. She walked a little ahead, and saw the silhouette of someone walking ahead. The man dragged his feet uneasily. Perhaps he was drunk and had got into a fight, probably a local roadside goon. She kept her distance safe and continued to walk.
He felt his heartbeats increased. Stupid heart he cursed. At times it seemed to have forgotten how to beat and at other times it raced like it ran for Olympics. But something was different. He felt her. The breeze seemed to bring him the news of her presence.
He stooped and stood, closing his eyes, he missed her too much, maybe. He stood at a secluded spot by a tree under its very shadow. Lost in her thoughts,she walked as her feet moved but she still felt uneasy. Sighing she looked up, the figure had disappeared, she looked around and frowned. Taking a deep breath she walked at a faster pace. She slowed down without any thought and looked to her left. Her eyes widened, he stood there against the tree, his eyes closed. Despite the shadow over him she had recognised him by the little light that fell on his cheek. "Shivaay!
He looked up at once, he saw her. Was he hallucinating? He took a step forward and stumbled a bit. His eyes screwed shut as the light from the street lamp hit him directly at the eye. She noticed the wounds on his forehead and his bleeding edge of lip.
She panicked, "Shivaay! She ran to his side and put his arm around her neck and winded hers around his waist, supporting him.
Without any exchange of words she walked him to the house. He just looked at her. Wondering whether all this was a dream ? for if it was he dint want it to end. He kept gazing at her, she looked worried. He din't say a word, too scared for if it was a dream, it might break.
Only when he entered the house she had been staying in for past three months did he realise it wasn't a dream it was all real. She took him staright to the room where she stayed. Made him sit on the bed and almost ran around to get the first aid box. She cursed herself as she forgot where she had kept it. She opened a few drawers until she finally found it. He smiled, but it hurt the wound on the edge of his lip. She came and stood before him. He looked up at her. The first thing he note was the magalsutra around her neck. She saw his intense gaze on her, avoiding it she paid attention to the wound on his forehead. Gently, she touched the cotton dipped in antiseptic to his wound. " Ouch!" Escaped his lips involuntarily. "Sorry!" She said blowing. He looked at her concerned face. She can't do this everytime. She hurts him and then soothes him.But wait, Isn't that exactly what he did? Right now, all he knew was his wife was by him, comforting his wound. He closed his eyes, it burned, the wound and also his heart. His expression was too easy to guess. "Abhi jalegaa, baad mein theek ho jaayega, !" She said comforting him.
He opened his eyes and looked up at her-"Are you sure? " She sighed, very well understanding the meaning beneath those simple words and nodded. He felt her fragrance. How he had missed being this close to her. Pushing the box away she sat close beside him, their bodies almost touching. She took another piece of cotton dipped in the burning liquid and took it close to his lips, after tending his cheek. He held her hand closing his eyes, nodding a no. "Dawa se itna dar lagta hai toh dard kyun paalte hain?" She said looking at him irritated, more worried. It must be burning terribly, the wound looked bad. "Pata nahi thaa...itna dard hoga!" He said meeting her eyes, speaking his heart.
"Ab, lagaane dijiye warna aur dard hoga..!" She said trying to free her hand by holding his wrist by her left hand. His wrist immediately clutched on to her left hand while her right moved towards the wound. The moment the cotton made contact with his broken, scarred, bleeding skin, he winced in pain and held on tightly to her wrist. She squeezed her eyes feeling his pain. And quickly went close to his lips blowing gently. He opened his eyes and his eyes met hers. He could feel her breathing. She created an havoc in his system. She made him feel those sparks he hadn't felt for three whole months. Her proximity, driving him crazy just the same, perhaps a little more. Forgotten was the pain of all the wounds. Their hearts beating in sync. He gently moved his hand to touch her hair just as he loved to do. She closed her eyes feeling his touch. He took a deep breath as his thumb moved to caress her cheek. She sighed, she couldn't fall weak. Its okay a part of her, pleaded.
He brought his lips closer to hers. She suddenly jerked and looked sideways, he came out of his stupor, he looked elsewhere. That's when he noticed her wrist. His fingers had left red marks. He immediately caressed it,"Sorry!" He said looking down. He always did it. Either on purpose or by mistake, he always hurt her. Her heart pained to see the guilt in his eyes.
"Main haldi wala dood leke aati hoon tab tak ye dry ho jaayega.!"
He sat lost in his thoughts. Why was all this so complicated, it clearly showed in her eyes, how much she cared. He was lost when she came by handing him the cup of haldi milk. He made a face at it. "Peelijiye...acha hota hai...aur aapko ye chot kaise lagi?" She spoke to him so casually like nothing ever had happened between the two. He sipped the milk, choosing to stay silent. Once he was done he got up to leave, and realized his left leg pained.
"Ye kya kar rahe hai sambhal ke.!" She came and stood by him supporting him "waise aap ke pair pe chot kaise lagi?" He remembered how he had hit the wheel of his car in anger, and yet again chose to remain silent. She walked him to the side of the bed and made him sit. "Aap so jaaiye...! You need rest."
"Tumhe itna faraq kyun pad raha hai?" He said irritated at everything.
"Aapke jagah koi aur hota toh bhi yahi karti!"
"Really!?" He said looking deep into her eyes. She turned the other way saying a yes. "You know what, I think I should leave.!" Before he could move. She came and stood before him.
"Ek tohvaap apna khayala nahi rakh sakte, itni chot aayi hai, pgir bhi aapki tadj kam nahi hui...chup chaap se ye waistcoat utaariye aur so jaaiye. !" He was lost. He loved the way she spoke like his typical wife. He loved that she argued with him. For once he forgot everything and obeyed. She helped him remove the coat of his hand. As their hands brushed he looked at her. Both were lost in a world of their own. The touches that they missed. The closeness that they missed. She extended the painkiller to him, and then the glass of water. He was lost in her. He was beyond baffled. Her eyes shouted love. Dhrbmade him sleep, dimming the lights, she sat by the window, looking at him occasionally. He stared in her direction, until sleep took over. Once she saw he was asleep, she went to the other side of the bed and settled there, looking away at his peaceful face , for the night. She took a nap in between, but continued to look at him. Three months, she hadn't seen him for three months. It was early morning and knowing that he was an early riser she freshened up before him and made calls to Khanna and Rudra assigning them duties, to look after her husband. He woke up to find himself in a strange place. Then he realised it wasn't a dream she was there for real. He saw her enter, she helped him to the washroom. Coming out he looked at her questioningly. She simply ignored his questioning eyes and extended towards him the glass of haldi milk. He took it and kept it on the side table. They din't speak a word, only their eyes spoke. He questioned her and she chose to remain silent. He had had enough. He held her elbow and pulled her closer. "You still care, don't you? Why are you doing all this? Tumhe farak padta hai! " before he could say anything further she played her cards.
Trying to get free of his hold, she spoke-"Kis haq se aap ye Mujh se pooch rahe hain!" The cold Anika was back.
He clenched his jaw, pulling her closer his breath fanning her face, he noticed that her mangalsutra was missing, he was sure he saw it last night. "Jis haq se tum abhi wo magalsutra pehenti ho!" He said closer to her ears. Their breathing blending. Having said that he left her and left only to find Khanna waiting for him. He turned to look at her, she was at the window, his instinct had told him that. She hid against the wall, he had already seen her. He gulped and sat inside. Sighing she looked at his car leave.
She din't know whether he was hers or not.
All she knew was her heart beats for him.
He din't know whether he belonged to her or she to him.
He just knew she ruled his heart and him.
"Apna Hai Yaan Hai Gair Wo..?"
P.S
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