Sandcastles
Characters: Pinky Shakti Singh Oberoi x Oberoi family
Genre: Angst/Family
Summary: There comes a time where Pinky decides to stop hoping, and start accepting.
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'Have you ever hoped for something? And held out for it against all the odds? Until everything you did was ridiculous?' - Ali Shaw, The Girl With The Glass Feet
Contrary to popular belief, Pinky Shakti Singh Oberoi is not stupid.
In the early days of her marriage, the media lunges at her like a rabid dog to fresh meat. The newest spectacle, in the form of the youngest Oberoi daughter-in-law. Her face is plastered over magazines and newspapers, surrounded by words that go over her head.
Illiterate. Embarrassment. Not good enough.
But she was naive then.
Years later, mingling with the creme de la creme of society has taught her a few things. She knows now that she is not exactly the poster child for the immaculate Oberoi household. People still don't fail to remind her of exactly this; albeit, a little less.
Now she makes a chance appearance on the back page of trashy, downmarket papers that mirror her better than any of those other magazines ever did. They brand her exactly the same, though.
Illiterate. Embarrassment. Not good enough.
Pinky just chooses to ignore it all.
She chooses not to listen as the painted, plastic witches of her circle whisper behind her back. She lets the vicious digs, the scratches of manicured fingernails, sinfully-red, slide past her. She doesn't cry when they slap her with their cruel words, and unreal expectations.
Pinky knows that one day, she'll get her own on them.
Her father has always told her that hope is the tie that binds all expectations, and transforms them into reality. When she is just a little girl with fresh eyes and big dreams, he shows her how to build sandcastles. Explains to her that sometimes, the most broken, the most separated, can form the most beautiful things.
So she builds sandcastles - with white lies, forgotten dreams, and abandoned faith. With newfound spirit, she awaits a change.
It soon comes, with the news of her pregnancy.
Nine months of bearing, and forty-eight torturous hours later, her whole world sits in her arms. Shivaay.
It is at that very moment, that Pinky realises that she has started winning. Blue-eyed, immaculate and ideal, her son is the envy of all her high-society friends. He is everything she has ever wanted - and she knows that finally, finally, her fate is being kind to her.
Three years later, when her sister-in-law gives birth to her first son, Pinky starts worrying again. Omkara happens, then Rudra, and soon after, so does Priyanka. She loves all three children, but she is dreadfully terrified that her son may get overshadowed.
He doesn't - because Shivaay Singh Oberoi is the perfect Oberoi grandchild, and everyone knows it.
Despite this, his world revolves around his brothers. Shivaay, Omkara, Rudra - the golden trio, So much that most of the time, Pinky feels forgotten. Funny, isn't it? Even though Shivaay associates himself more with his domineering, business- minded uncle, she thinks that he holds many similarities to his own father. Shakti Ji forgets about her too.
She tries not to think about it a lot, but Pinky knows that her son doesn't think much of her. Instead, he idolises his Badi Ma, the flawless, Jhanvi Tej Singh Oberoi, who navigates her way through high society like she was born for it. And she doesn't blame him - sometimes, Pinky wishes she could be like her sister-in-law, as well. To the extent that this longing gives birth to a long-standing resentment, that doesn't fade until she realises how much time she's wasted.
When her son brings his London-born girlfriend, Tia, to meet the family, Pinky is automatically enchanted.
Tia Kapoor is the perfect Oberoi daughter-in-law. The missing piece in the puzzle.
She is well-spoke, beautiful and comes from another high-society, business family. In her excitement, Pinky disregards the fact that Shivaay and Tia don't love each other, and are purely driven by material intentions.
But it wasn't like love did anything for anyone, anyway - except for giving them a life full of heartbreak. And wasn't that ironic?
Suddenly, things fall into place.
Shivaay announces his marriage to Tia. All the mocking women are calling now, gushing about the wedding of the century, simpering around her to make sure that they have an invite. For once, she is happy to oblige them - because now, she has the upper hand.
So when a certain wedding planner tumbles into their life, Shivaay's life one day, Pinky doesn't notice.
The winds of change are threatening to throw her back, but the lure of what was once deprived draws her away from reality.
Annika is everything that Pinky runs away from. She is too loud, too happy, and too content. So middle-class, that she almost pities her. Conveniently, Pinky forgets that she reminds her of herself sometimes.
Shivaay hates Annika too, well, at least until he doesn't. It happens so seamlessly that it could almost go unseen, to everyone but a concerned mother. Pinky doesn't miss the longing, the fleeting touches, the hold that lasts a second too long. She just ignores them.
But never, ever, in a thousand years does Pinky imagine that this girl will one day become her daughter-in-law.
The idea that her son, her pride and joy, the most cherished holder of the Oberoi empire, will have to sacrifice so deeply, terrifies her. And yet, when Shivaay reveals that he has married Annika instead of Tia - her world is plunged into this very nightmare.
Suddenly, the sand is slipping out of her fingers. Tia is not perfect. She is a liar. When Shivaay tells her the truth, a month after the wedding, in a dramatic expos that she has always seen play out on TV shows, that is when Pinky does the unthinkable. She laughs.
How could anyone be so blind, so naive?
She knows now that she is exactly what they described her as. Illiterate, embarrassing, not good enough.
She thinks that fate is laughing at her too, because apparently, its not done robbing her yet.
Fate's irony was so raw, so potent. She, the woman who has resented her husband and son all her life for forgetting her, has neglected a son of her own.
Shivaay has a twin brother.
Mahi's truth is so convoluted, that she doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. This time though, she cries.
If anything, Pinky has always prided her husband in being a man with high morals. Devoted and faithful, in her eyes, he has always been the better one of the two, elder Oberoi sons. Though, in contrast to her brother-in-law's lecherous, abusive ways, he doesn't have much to achieve.
Still with this knowledge instilled in her, she almost doesn't believe what her husband confesses to her. Words and phrases swim around her head as he talks - mistake, twins, gave away one, Kamini, kept one.
They echo in her head, haunt her as she silently walks up the stairs that night, leaving her bereft family behind. Ignoring a pleading Shakti, a quiet daughter-in-law, and her two sons, one angry, and the other one sobbing.
She doesn't open her bedroom door for four days, even when her husband and sons bang on the door, begging and crying. She doesn't care that they are suffering, that Shivaay is suffering - she doesn't care when he tells her that even Omkara and Rudra are away from home, that he has no one right now. That he needs her. For once in her life, she doesn't care.
On the fifth day, there is no sound. It unnerves her.
Driven by the lurch in her stomach, and a growing unrest that she can't place, she steps out of the door - and finds her family in even deeper chaos.
Annika has left home.
Prior resignments deserted, Pinky is already running towards Shivaay's room, even before Priyanka can finish her shaky explanation. She only picks up the words, fight and naam, khoon aur khandaan, and she already knows enough.
But this time, she is beaten in her search.
Shivaay is in Mahi's arms, sobbing as he beats on his chest. The dark-eyed man, in turn, cries too, as he strokes his brother's hair and tries to soothe his shaking body. As she watches the exchange between the brothers, her two sons, Pinky can't speak.
***
Her father encouraged hope, but her mother always told her to accept.
The dichotomy was profound, and one that had taken years to be understood. Always the idealist, Pinky had always hoped. Expected, dreamed big, wanted more.
It hadn't brought her anything but unhappiness.
Life had always been give and take for her - but she had always focused on what it took, rather than what it gave. One month after Annika leaves, Pinky finally sees the fault in this.
So, albeit a bit late, Pinky decides to follow her mother's advice.
To accept.
Mahi didn't resent her, or so he insisted repeatedly the night she apologised to him. But however it had happened, she had still left her son motherless for thirty years, and that was something she couldn't forgive herself for. Unlike her though, Mahi had already let go of the past, and begged her to include him in her future.
It hadn't taken him long to fit in - much to her surprise. Everyone in the family, especially Omkara and Rudra doted on him, loved him, depended on him like they had only depended on one other person in their life. But unlike his twin brother, Mahi was always alive with mirth, acceptance and congeniality. He had smoothly blended into their busy lifestyle, seeking shelter within their idiocies and extremities. Almost like he had just been waiting for the return of his family - like he had finally found home.
Pinky hadn't realised it would be so easy to love someone as fast as she manages to love Mahi. But even then, he terrifies her as well - but only because he reminds her of someone.
The staggering similarities between Mahi and Annika worry her. Both with lost childhoods, and broken families, both still compassionate and nurturing despite their dark pasts, both eccentric but good-natured with misplaced naivete. She knows that if she can tell, so can he.
Because even as fate reunites her with one son, it forces her to watch the other one break.
Shivaay is different now.
After her daughter-in-law leaves, Pinky barely sees him. The only people that really know Shivaay now are his brothers. All three of them - Mahi, Omkara and Rudra desperately try to bring back the man that they once knew, but to no avail. He is too lost in the tide of his own guilt - betrayed by his own belief systems, that inevitably failed him.
Even now, Pinky can't help but resent Annika. Even as she left, she took a piece of him with her.
His heart.
Sometimes, she wonders if it is her own fault.
Maybe if she hadn't wanted so much, expected as much as she had, Shivaay would still be happy. Because as much as she hates to say it, Shivaay can only be happy with Annika - and this, is why Pinky believes that she, herself, has ruined her son.
Because she was afraid.
Afraid of not being loved enough. Afraid of not being good enough. Afraid of being forgotten.
The truth of her thoughts disgust her to the point where she knows that today, she needs someone else to save her.
And Pinky can only think of one person who can.
So tonight, she seeks comfort from her husband - and even though he is slightly surprised at her sudden outburst, Shakti's arms support her as she breaks down. And as her body racks with violent sobs, she apologises for what she has done to their son, begs for forgiveness from him, from anyone who can afford it, like he did so many months before.
Wordless until then, holding her as she weeps loudly with so much desperation and longing that it made him physically ache, he apologises too. For doing this to her, for not loving her enough, for not being a good father.
Hours later, as she lies in her husband's arms, Pinky knows.
Her sandcastles have finally been swept away by the tide. Broken, swallowed.
Everything has fallen apart.
Edited by Innika. - 8 years ago
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