ShivIka OS | I Know What This Dard Is. [11/4]

Dard.

A pain that Shivaay felt. A mystery that Anika could not understand.

Shivaay did not understand. Everything was fine with him. But the moment Anika is around, even if he catches a whiff of hers, his thought processes are thrown out of the window, along with any sense of understanding, responsibility or logic.

But one thought had been clouding Shivaay's mind for long and he shivered at it's mere thought. One idea that had been planted in his brain long ago by his brothers. One idea that he hadn't given a thought until a few hours ago when he sat down and realised how he was around Anika. Was he in... No.

Yes, he felt the dard but wasn't it a bit too melodramatic for someone like him : logical and practical? He closed his eyes in frustration. Honestly, that wasn't relieving. The moment his eyelids shut, Anika was in front of him. Her face holding the expression that she wore whenever he was close to her. The slight hint of red on her cheeks, her eyes looking lost, yet the little shimmer in her eyes, that he strongly believed was love.

Anika rested her hands against the dresser in Saumya's room. At this point of time, it was the only safe place she could think of. Everywhere else she came across either of the two doppelgangers. For once, Anika was scared to face the kanji-aankhon wala bagad billa, whether those eyes were real or fake. The fake one gave her michmichi while the real one was turning into someone she could not understand. And what the hell is this dard that he felt when she looked at him. Stupid Singh Oberoi. Always finds ways to confuse her.

This was what Anika was thinking. Scratch that. This is what she believed she was thinking. But she pretty much knew what thoughts were surrounding hers. Just that she was conveniently ignoring it.

What if Shivaay felt the way she did? Did his breathings turn shallow when they were so close, did his pulse quicken, did he feel those butterflies too? Or were these symptoms of her finally going totally mad. Stop having his references in everything you think.

She sighed. Her head started pounding, leaving no option for her but to get out of this room that had become her safe place and to the kitchen to make a masala chai for herself.

*

Anika stood by the counter watching over the boiling water, a little lost in her thoughts. She added sugar, tea leaves and her favourite masala, joined by the milk a little later.

As she cleaned up the mess and went to get herself a cup, she saw the shards of broken plate kept near the dustbin. Her thoughts instantly shifted to what had conspired in this kitchen only 2days ago, from where all this dard had begun. Unaware that her tea was boiled enough and would overflow any moment right in front of her eyes, Anika continued staring into nothingness.

It was only when his hands swiftly slid around her waist and turned off the gas knob did she realise her surroundings. Her eyes wide, pulse quickened and her breaths becoming quicker or slow, she did not understand.

"Uh Shivaay.." Anika whispered and instantly wondered if she would have to say it again. It was difficult for her to clear her thoughts when the man she loved was so close to her. Her back against his chest, his face positioned across her neck and her heart running a marathon. What is wrong with you Anika, this only happens in those stupid Bollywood, overly-dramatic films.

"Hmm.." he whispered and Anika shivered terribly. This was turning torturous.

The moment she shivered in his arms, Shivaay felt content. But then, why was he still feeling unsatisfied. He hugged her tightly. After spending a few moments like that, both of them just fitting into each other, relishing this moment of closeness, Shivaay turned her in his arms. Now this was dangerously close. Anika could see even the speck of gold in his eyes which she had never seen. In their previous close encounters, she always enjoyed his kanji aankhein. Maybe, she never found it in herself to observe him up so close. Whenever she did look into his eyes, all she found was those green eyes staring at her, both of them curious. In the past few days, a certain wall of uncertainty was broken, a wall which kept them apart from within. Mostly, it was Anika's self made wall, reminding herself that she wasn't anywhere near his expectations and Shivaay's wall of confusions for everything that he felt, thought and believed.

"Anika.." Shivaay muttered, ,"we really need to talk."

She nodded her head. He couldn't bring it on himself to tear himself apart from her, so naturally, he bent, put his hands under her knees and her back and scooped her in his arms.

Carefully avoiding every other person present in the house he took her to their bedroom, closing all possible exits and entries.

"Shivaay.. Wh-what are you doing?"

"I said we need to talk."

"So why did you close the doors?" Anika asked with a her eyebrows raised though only a bit. She was still hazy with what was happening.

Shivaay ran his hand through his hair. What was he supposed to answer her when he himself was in doubt? What if she rejects him? What if she calls him a cheapda? Shivaay shuddered.

"Anika, remember? I was talking about this pain that I felt?"

"Hmm." Anika answered with her head slightly bobbing up and down. How could she forget? Wasn't it the only thought that had clouded her brain for quite sometime now.

"I think I know what it is." Shivaay muttered, already expecting her to understand.

When Anika looked at him, her expression still the same, he closed his eyes in frustration.

Relaxing himself a bit, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He moved closer to her and held her hand. Taking it in his hand, he intertwined their fingers and brought it to their eye level. He moved closer and pushed her hair behind her ear, cupping her neck. Anika closed her eyes. This was just like what had happened only some time ago. He pulled her closer and touched their foreheads. Anika's heart jumped in ecstasy as colour rose to her cheeks. She opened her eyes to find Shivaay staring at her intently, not shifting his gaze for a second.

"Anika.." he mumbled, while she delicately nodded, "I think I feel the connection between both. I think, I realise how much you matter to me, your presence matters to me, your well-being and happiness matter to me. Terming it, or expressing it in an 'I Love You' wpuld be undermining what we share, what I feel for you. I will completely understand if you don't feel the same because while you have lots of good with a tinge of bad, I have lots of bad with hardly any good. I haven't behaved with you like the way you have done with me, so I don't expect anything from you. It would be stupid and wishful thinking. But I know that you are important in my life, that I can't stay without you. You are someone who challenged me to bring out the best of myself, to explore shades of me that I haven't witnessed for myself. When you look at me, I feel the pain, and it is the pain that I realise that the way you affect me, I won't be able to do that. That look in your eyes, makes me feel special, yet I think if it means anything to you. I don't know Anika, this is random as it gets but I feel like you are the only one who can support this Great Wall, the only one wo can beat me in my own game, who can equalize with my tadi, who can look into my kanji aankhein, challenging my authority without me questioning it. This bagad billa, or Billuji, whatever you may like, has deep feeling for you that I hardly think can be missed. I..." Shivaay was finally at loss of words when Anika placed her hand on his mouth.

"Kitna bolte hain na aap?" she said, amused.

Shivaay's hold loosened, only slightly. Was she going to make fun of me, of what I said? You should have kept quite Shivaay. Now she'll know ki you care, mujhe farak padhta hai. What the hell? Since when did you start blabbering, all because of this Panika.

"Ab kya soch rahe hai? Accha woh chodiye, aap bataiye aapki himnat kaise hui?"

"Huh?"

"Himmat kaise hui mere Billuji ko bura kehne ki?" She smiled as he watched his expressions contort.

"Mere Billuji na bohot acche hai! Kitni fikr hai unhe meri. Aur aapko kya lagta hai, ki main woh tadibaaz insaan ko sambhal nahi sakti? Arey Billuji toh meri jaan hain. Pata hai, maine kaha tha ki Billuji mere number one hai. Meri zindagi main unse zyada koi important nahi. Bagadh Billa kahinka. Itna bhari dialogue bola fir bhi samajh nahi paya ki main unse pyaar karti hun. Kya hoga aapka Shivaay?" she grinned as she saw his eyes widen, he pulled her into a fierce hug.

"I don't want to undermine this relation but I think this seals the deal, I Love You Mrs. Singh Oberoi." Shivaay kissed her hair.

"I love You SSO." She mumbled into his shirt.

As he pulled out of the hug, Shivaay looked into her eyes, he leaned in. As he was about to kiss her, he opened his eyes and looked at her. She gulped and smiled, a little nervous. He shook his head slightly at her naivety. She lowered her eyelids as he leaned closer, his lips pressing against hers, sealing the best deal of both their lives. A deal of staying together, protecting and supporting each other (and of course their families) and to grow old together, not leaving each other's side, come what may.

*

Love,

Krishi ❤️

Will try to revert to this thread the soonest I can. Please bear with me if I get late.

Love

-Harshada

Thanks for pm😊

loved it

Shivay finally realized and vocalized his feelings..

Amazing

Thanks for the pm😊