Love,logic and self respect :/???

Originally posted by: poemssyndrome

Hey buddy, So I am just like you. Not yet hit by Cupid's arrow meaning vo ' violins in the background' wala pyaar Nahi hua Abhi.
But there is always this one person whom we love so much more than anyone in our life. And we don't agree with them on lot of matters but we still stick around. When it comes to them we still bow down. May be for some of us it's our mom or dad.
Yup I agree we are mandatoryly bound to love them. It's our factory setting to love them. But sometimes u might have noticed that even though you know that this person is wrong, u stick by them. You choose them over the world & sometimes over yourself too.
My mom is my that one person. I would do whatever she asks, even when it is totally opposite to what I wanna do or even what I sometimes stand for. Bcoz I love her.
Would I do this for someone who hasn't put themselves through a life threatening nine months period just to bring me in this world. I can't tell. May be I will.
Now coming to the thing we have at our hand. Anika. Do I understand her love for Shivaay? No, I call their relationship toxic for Anika, atleast untill that dumbhead knows her worth & act on it. And no that she almost dying in his hand may have sped the realization but he is not there yet.
Would I let my friend be in her situation where she is going all 'khud ke pair pe khulhadi', nope. But will I not act like the way she is acting? I don't know. May be I will. Bcoz that's what love is. You are ready to do anything for this person to be happy. And love is Selfish, I believe it. Bcoz seeing them happy is what is gonna make me happy. So I am indirectly working on my happiness.
And don't get me wrong. I am a feminist. And yes, if the roles were reversed & Shivaay was on Autolysis mode with Anika in Shivaay's position, I would feel the same about him.

Sorry this is getting long. But What you said about argument & quarrels & leaving alone. I believe it is not difficult to Love someone. The difficult part is to maintain that relationship. That's where most of us fail. Love has nothing to do with it. There, right there it becomes about priorities.

Originally posted by: YoonHiChala

Very interesting post. I have never fallen in love before either so have no clue how we are supposed to behave when we fall in love with someone, the self-less kinds like Annika...

I have come to accept now that Annika is a woman who is desperately in love...this desperate trait of hers was hard for me to come to terms with me before. Especially cuz I myself have never fallen for someone so hard...and don't think I can. We have seen glimpses of her desperate side before, mainly in the ONS false alibi she gave was pivotal in demonstrating her self-less love. It is OKAY to fall desperately for someone despite knowing they would never accept you (like in the case of Annika). Dil pe koi zor nahi hota. I must learn to judge Annika without limiting boundaries on myself like if I can relate to her or not.

So the question then arises, does giving precedence to love&lover over self-respect make anyone a doormat when they are desperately & seflessly in love? Depends. In my opinion, it doesn't make Annika a doormat cuz I interpret this as a window period where the lover waits for their lover to come around. Why tarnish your own love like this by not giving your lover one chance to prove himself? Like I said already, I don't relate to this at all but I can see her POV. Once the waiting period ends, she will then make a decision. And then, if she doesn't leave, she will be a doormat. Yes. And I do think Annika will leave finally and we might get a brief judaai period...

Annika must be a much more emotionally mature person than me cuz it is a sign of maturity to not take such decisions on a whim. I would probably leave on a whim but that's just me. Also, Annika is a person who has had such a dearth of relationships (deep ones, not just love) in her life. She has only ever had a brother. So i can understand her hanging on ever so desperately to Shivaay...

According to me,In love with someone,we never lose our self respect "by" that person,but we can lose our self respect "for" that person.i think am confusing u.i will give one example.if our parents are in danger we can sacrifice anything even our self-respect (here losing is not "by" parents dey never allow us to do dat, but by others)to save our parents if the situation demands.we can love a person who doesn't love us.but we can't luv the person who doesn't respect our& our feelings and emotions.If we still do that it is not luv.if u luv and respect yourself,then only u can luv anyone.pls don't search for logic,definition of love,self respect in serials.they can mislead us.bcz may be writers or directors may not be mature enough to understand these things or they don't care about spoiling their meanings for the sake of trp.particularly in ishqbaaz the characters are not consistent,they change according to the trps.here any girl in anika's place will not stay in OM after forced marriage.she will run away far from dat person to protect themselves in future or take revenge or just lead their own life thinking that is one nightmare in their life &just move on.if that person changes and apologise for "wat he have done" & try to rectify " that mistake" and then that girl can think to forgive him or not.but any girl can't trust him easily to stay in that relationship.it takes a lot of time to trust dat person again.