Originally posted by: fallingpieces
Holy. SHIT.
I don't know if it's Gul herself or someone else... but whoever choreographs these sangeet dances for Gul's shows is a f**king genius. In Arnav and Khushi's "Teri Meri" they SO so cleverly incorporated dance-move versions of some of their most iconic moments- Arnav catching her the first time he broke her fast, Arnav spinning her out of the way of the car, Arnav untangling her from the lights... we got to relive their moments with them and it made me SO happy.
Today when Anika first spins into Shivaay's arms, there's a harsh spotlight on them, as they're both confused and a little uncertain of what to do. Then there's a long, slow second where Shivaay looks down and away... when he looks back up there's that sudden fastforward and he's behind and on the other side of her with his arms around her, Anika pulled close to him and the light is dimmer. The background fades away (all the people in black clothes deliberately nothing more than silhouettes). Shivaay gives in, and then, as you so beautifully put it... surrenders to his dreams. The moment where he takes her hand in his and just looks at it, as though he can't believe he's finally allowed to do this fully in his senses, when he realises how much he wants the right to be able to do it all the time. Shivaay's face (and HATS f**kING TO THE SKY for Nakuul's expressions here), shows so clearly that things are falling into place for him. How could they not? I'm going to share a little personal story here- I was incredibly close friends with a boy for a while but it was nothing more than that, and then one day, completely by accident, we ended up holding hands. I remember the almost electric jolt I felt when his large, warm hands closed around mine and I remember my heart racing and my breath catching... I couldn't stop staring at my hand and remembering his hold on it for the entirety of the next day. The day after that I told him I liked him.
We've now been dating for over 2 and a half years.
Hand holding, innocent though it may be, can be one hell of a powerful thing.
And SHIT when he sniffs her hair, just nuzzles his face against her. I BEG someone try telling me that isn't him trying to commit every last piece of her to memory, inhale her and draw in as much of her as he can in a moment he wishes could last forever.
And oh I could not stop crying because to Shivaay what is such a precious, precious moment... to Anika is nothing but pain. "Why is he doing this? Why does he play with me like this? Why does he give me hope just to tear it away? Why does he treat me like a stupid lifeless doll?" What devastates me is this fear that maybe Anika thinks it's all been a physical thing for Shivaay and that he's doing this because he thinks she's hot but that who she really is on the inside has no meaning for her. A woman like Anika probably knows she's beautiful, even if she doesn't use it to her advantage. A moment which just a few days ago would've been so beautiful and yet heartbreaking for both Shivaay and Anika now causes her nothing but confusion and pain. I find myself glad that they are in the midst of this huge MU because the layers upon layers of meaning to Shivaay and Anika's interactions and how differently each of them are interpreting them is drawing out a depth of emotion from me I didn't think possible. I have to feel two sets of heartbreaking emotions for every one scene they're both in because just when I'm done thinking about things from Shivaay's PoV, I remember how Anika is feeling during the same interaction and how she's interpreting everything completely different and I'll be honest with you, after this episode I'm exhausted.
So true. This whole moment that is so 'theirs', painfully has two different versions for each of them. Annika is in anguish while Shivvay has just had the carpet pulled off from under his feet and the wind knocked out of his sails. He is in totally and complete disbelief not only at what just happened but, most importantly, what it is doing to HIM.
Once the shock wears off he is going to catch up with where poor Annika is already - in her own personal hell with only her Sahil (what an apt name for the little guy) to hold on to.
I am loving what it is doing to him because he needed to know
And why did Anika say yes? Why? I'm trying to put myself in her shoes and I wonder if perhaps it's a devastating mix of many emotions. Anika's face is not impressed by all of Daksh's inane ramblings. She's not stupid, she knows it's not possible for someone to fall in love with her so quickly and she clearly thinks he's got a hinge loose- Surbhi's portrayal of Anika was almost disgusted and embarrassed with Daksh until Shivaay started talking. That's when the anger appeared. The cold, hard resolve. Anika saying yes was 100% about Shivaay. It wasn't to hurt him necessarily, after all, what role does she believe she has in his life that she would even think she has the power to? But to prove him wrong. To detach herself from him.
To push him away. 👍🏼
Anika is a woman who let her walls down for Shivaay, let them down for his family. And today we saw them thrown up like a freaking iron dome around every last Oberoi.
I know it sounds insane but I am loving what she is right now - barring the accepting Daksh's proposal thing. I have a feeling she starts regretting it but gets caught in the whole tide of stuff happening with some of the over enthusiastic Oberoi's fast forwarding her wedding to Daksh.
Shivaay- how dare he speak for her? How dare he claim to know how her mind works? How dare he try to answer in her name? In order to speak for her, he must think he knows her and in order to know her, he must be thinking her thoughts through the filter of the gold-digger he thinks she is. Is that how he thinks the Golddigger Anika would reply?
So she proves him wrong by countering his answer with the one he didn't think she'd give. Maybe then he'd realise she isn't a golddigger.
She wouldn't take his money and "uska picha chod", but she would prove that she never wanted to cling to him in the first place because all this time, Daksh was the one she'd been waiting for. A man who is, in all ways that matters, the complete opposite of Shivaay. Someone who is embarrassingly open with his feelings (had the intent behind them not been creepy and gross and malicious) and who doesn't even know Anika's background or family and yet clearly declared that they mean nothing to him.
"Mera jawab ha hain." Isn't directed to the man she is saying yes to, but instead she looks to the man to whom her 'yes' means the 'no' to an entire future that he had dreamed of.
Shivaay is frozen. Completely frozen. It's as though he's seeing every memory of Anika he has flash before his eyes and then see flashes of every memory that could have been but now cannot be. He has always had the upper hand, always believed that he could have Anika if he wanted to... but now that "option" has been taken from him and destroyed.
And there is nothing he can do.
There is nothing he can do but revisit his whole life's ideology and what he has based it on. Is that worth losing his "jaan"?
That's why he's frozen.
He doesn't know what to do. What can he do? Nothing. He has no right to do anything. Anika has just taken it away from him in a way which leaves no room, no path for him to take in order to take it back.
What did Shivaay do when he walked away? Did he understand why his heart felt shattered in that moment? Did he know why he wanted nothing more than to lock himself in his room and scream until his ears rang? Did he finally realise the magnitude of what he had lost? I like to think that he did. That silently, to himself, he admitted what Anika is to him. Everything she means to him. All that she could be to him if only he would follow his heart...
But he won't follow his heart, will he? I don't think he cried. I think he argued with himself- tried to find a resolution. I think he tried to think of ways he could convince Anika to leave Daksh. Could force Daksh into letting Anika go...
And then he realised. What then? If Anika and Daksh broke off their engagement... what then? Daksh appears to be perfect- Shivaay knows him to be a good person. Shivaay also knows Anika is very unlikely to get another proposal of this standard ever again. He might think of her as his and he might know that his heart belongs to her... but so what? He won't act on it. He has nothing to offer Anika.
Nothing.
And so he gathers himself enough to approach her as she's about to leave... and he offers her the one thing he can. His congratulations. His "It's okay for you to do this, I understand." It's a bitter acceptance and almost... almost forgiveness in its understanding. Anika, rightly, feels patronised and so answers him in kind. "Thank you."
She might have done this whole thing to spite Shivaay, but in a sense I think she wanted it to hurt him. Wanted him to fight for her.
If even in this last moment he won't fight for her... Anika has to accept that it truly was nothing. Meant nothing.
Up till the last moment, when she turns around at the hand on her shoulder. There's one last fragment of a second where you see the hope in her eyes.
"He came for me!"
And then she realises it's not him.
He didn't come.
He isn't hers.
She isn't his.
There is no "them". There is no love.
And so she clings to the only love she knows she has in the world, the love of her little brother... and Anika finally lets herself break.
Honestly I can't even breathe I'm so sad. I don't care WHAT anyone says about daily shows, you'd have to be a straight up psychopath not to be blown away emotionally by today's episode. Surbhi and Nakuul as Anika and Shivaay have genuinely destroyed me.
