From Anika's Perspective...

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fallingpieces

@fallingpieces

Explorer

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

I've been thinking a lot about today's episode and even though I'm supposed to be studying, I just couldn't focus until I got my thoughts out.

I'm going to try to get over the fact that it all took place the morning after and didn't begin with Shivaay storming into Anika's house in the middle of the night. I'm going to assume that Shivaay thought if anything happened, his security would inform him. And that his security did inform him, just first thing in the morning because they didn't want to disturb him at night... as out of keeping with Shivaay's character and feelings for Anika as that seems to me. It's gotten Anika to absolute breaking point and Shivaay will soon follow, so I'll get over it.

No, the reason I haven't been able to focus is Anika. Anika's expressions at the very start of the episode when Shivaay asks her "Tum theek to ho?" His ramblings about getting the police involved...

Look closely at Anika's face. She's annoyed.

I've been wondering who she's more annoyed at: Shivaay, with what to her seems to be completely insincere concern after what she believes he thinks about her? Is she outraged that he can pretend to be so worried when he thinks she's just faking it? Is that why she's staying silent and refusing to give him any information? In refusing to allow him to offer her any solace? Is she wondering how a man could possibly be so two faced and callous? How could he possibly lace his face, his voice, his beautiful kanji eyes with so much feeling when... when really he felt nothing?

Or is she angry at herself? How did she not see through this before? How had she let herself fall for this? How was this the man she...

Love was supposed to be about joy. It was supposed to be about a man who made her smile to even think about, it was supposed to be about being understood without words, someone who saw her heart and her soul and loved her in return without limits or conditions.

Anika, the woman who fell in love with nobody and needed no one had let herself be fooled by this man who saw her as a plaything. And hearing him pretending- acting- as he was in that moment when really he felt nothing but contempt for her... it just made her feel even more stupid for failing to see through it all.

How could she have been so stupid?

And now... now it was too late.

She knew it was too late when she allowed herself to look up and meet his gaze in that last moment before walking away. When he grabbed her arm and pulled her close and created a space that was just theirs. When he spoke in a voice kept low enough for just her ears. When he made her feel like she was his and he was hers... and she let herself believe it. Just for that moment.

And she wanted to hug him, to feel his arms around her and have him hold her and comfort her and tell her it would be okay as he had done last time. She wanted to tell him how scared she had been and how terrified she still was. She wanted him to reassure her that he would be there and that she was safe...

But that was when her pride kicked in. She had already trampled all over her own dignity for this man, he would not get this last piece of her. She would not let him know just how much she needed him, she would not and could not truthfully answer his question, if it had even been one "Tumhe meri zaroorat hai?" She swallowed her tears, swallowed every instinct that wanted her to tell him everything.

She would not let him fool her again.

So she lied.

"Main theek hoon."

And then she freed herself from his grasp and from all of the hopes and emotions tied to him... and she walked away.

Edited by fallingpieces - 8 years ago

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Uroojj

@Uroojj

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Posted: 8 years ago

I was thinking the same. she must be thinking how low sso could go. it a kaisay gir sakta hai koi ik taraf itna bura keh raha hai mujhai next day itna concern. its human nature she nust have thought k jo O sai kaha woh such hai n he is only pretending that he care for ne. she also said k main aisay admi sai pyar nahi kur sakty (not the exact words )jo meray baray main aisa sochay.

Her silence was screamingwhen the epi started and it was the first time ever that she didn't replied him that made him ask k tum theek tu ho.

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fallingpieces

@fallingpieces

Explorer

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Uroojj
I was thinking the same. she must be thinking how low sso could go. it a kaisay gir sakta hai koi ik taraf itna bura keh raha hai mujhai next day itna concern. its human nature she nust have thought k jo O sai kaha woh such hai n he is only pretending that he care for ne. she also said k main aisay admi sai pyar nahi kur sakty (not the exact words )jo meray baray main aisa sochay.
Her silence was screamingwhen the epi started and it was the first time ever that she didn't replied him that made him ask k tum theek tu ho.

Omg I knowww. It broke my heart for both of them because for Shivaay, caring for and looking after Anika has become as instinctive and essential as breathing. And his concern is so genuine.

But... but from Anika's perspective, it's all fake. And the more genuine it seems, the more disgusted she must feel. And so they're both hurt. Anika from thinking it's fake and Shivaay from Anika's sudden refusal to let him look after her.

Shivaay is a protector and to have Anika withdraw his right to protect her... I mean that's the biggest rejection she could give him. It's a rejection of one of the most fundamental aspects of who he is.

And also, to have all of Anika's previous memories of Shivaay tarred with the brush of thinking all of his concern for her was fake?!

Honestly I feel like I'm going to burst into tears. IS IT NORMAL TO FEEL SO MUCH ABOUT A FICTIONAL SHOW?!

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Samira

@mishti4maan

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

I actually love this post because I didn't think of Shivaay from that "two-faced" angle.But you are right. To Anika, he must look so so fake. Shivaay does make it look like "he says something but he means something".

I really want Anika to not let him protect her. Because I really want him to face that type of rejection because it will burn like hell. he spent all this time and effort rejecting her and making her feel little that now I think he needs a taste of his own medicine. He needs to feel what she felt so he can truly understand her perspective.

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notacrimetolove

@notacrimetolove

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Nice post.

She also thought he cut her phone call when she called him for help in the middle of the night. She must have thought all his concern was fake because of what he said and then what she thought he did when she needed him most. She must be so angry and thinking that she's finally seeing him for who he is. She must think everything and the relationship they've built up is fake.

Even in the precap she looks angry and annoyed. She's angry because how dare he speak for her after what he's done. Anika will finally take away the rights she's given him in the precap scene and make it clear that he has no right to speak for her anymore or presume to know what she feels or will say. She'll truly shake his world. She'll give the one answer he thought she'll never give. He thought he knows her better than anyone but she'll prove him wrong.

Edited by notacrimetolove - 8 years ago

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Anu

@chottekikhushi

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

I really liked your analysis of Anika's view point.

And I am sorry this is a long post.

I went through quite a lot of emotions after watching today's episode ranging from feeling heartbroken for Ani to being happy for just a second seeing that lovely Shivkara speech and finally after everything , I was left with an ache in my chest for Anika.But most of all I felt really really angry with Shivaay. For being such a coward like you said. For messing up so much!!

Maybe the misunderstandings were created by Tia, but knowingly or unknowingly Shivaay is the root cause of all this. His lack of belief in Ani, his cowardice to accept what he really felt about her, his blind ideologies that never let him accept her as she was, and yet not let her go...

His lack of concern bothered me yesterday when he failed to go and check on her safety even with all his ESP and not reaching her via phone. Ok, I get it that the security would have informed him bit what if she was lying in a pool of blood somewhere else?

And today, like you said, her opinion of him woulld have gone to an all new low with the way he expressed concern for her. I was happy that Daksh entered and gave him a rude wake up call...that you can go and take care of your lovely bride, I am here for Ani now...

According to Ani, Shivaay thinks of her as a goldigger, faking and seeking his attention and he even wants to pay her off for her services!! Thats an incredible blow to Ani's khuddhari!!The final nail in the coffin would be if he questioned her character and morals after seeing her with Daksh(if the spoilers are to be believed).

I hate these misunderstandings too and they are breaking my heart and if I didn't know that Shivika were going to get married, I would have just left watching the show.

But sometimes, seeing how Shivaay is running away and being an absolute coward, I think, I could take pleasure in reading your ff on Consequences again because if the story was based on Karma, Shivaay would have got exactly what he deserved. And it wouldn't be Ani.

Edited by chottekikhushi - 8 years ago

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Uroojj

@Uroojj

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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: fallingpieces

Omg I knowww. It broke my heart for both of them because for Shivaay, caring for and looking after Anika has become as instinctive and essential as breathing. And his concern is so genuine.

But... but from Anika's perspective, it's all fake. And the more genuine it seems, the more disgusted she must feel. And so they're both hurt. Anika from thinking it's fake and Shivaay from Anika's sudden refusal to let him look after her.

Shivaay is a protector and to have Anika withdraw his right to protect her... I mean that's the biggest rejection she could give him. It's a rejection of one of the most fundamental aspects of who he is.

And also, to have all of Anika's previous memories of Shivaay tarred with the brush of thinking all of his concern for her was fake?!

Honestly I feel like I'm going to burst into tears. IS IT NORMAL TO FEEL SO MUCH ABOUT A FICTIONAL SHOW?!

Yeah shivay even don't know his fault if he thinks a lot he can figure out that marrying Tia is his fault but actually anika has other MU. I wish billu ji knew his faults so that he can clarify them.

But actually I am angry on shivay he is not giving importance to his feelings which he some where know that are mutual . secondly he don trust anika in tia's matter. he should hv investigat when anika brought the topic .

Thatsy I want him him to be soory to anika and should bhugto the reactions and outcomes of his laziness. in other word raita bhailaya hai tu samaitna bhi hoga.

Yes we are crazy bunch of ppl talking about a fictional show on Saturday night .

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

Its 2 in the morning, and yet I MUST respond if you've taken a few moments out of rotation to post:

What she's taken away from him is trust. She told him, don't come close to me, meri bad luck hi kharab hai, you'll get hurt. He risked it, and now, he's gotten too close to the flame. The more she withdraws, the harder he's going to try and hold on, and, as you pointed out, it will make him look like he's being a hypocrite, and she will hate him for it. Previously, she saw his overhelming possessiveness as almost her due, their private thing, his reward for being her Billu-ji. And he took that seriously enough for her to reciprocate, with her entire being, to also fiercely take care of him in whatever way she could. It was the most beautiful part of their relationship. Not the slips and falls or the close cuddling--the Great Wall and his Supergirl. True trust, and reliance.

And the addiction of being the one to watch over, to take care of this magnificent woman, a woman he respects and is a little in awe of-- that is a heady thing to have. Shivaay worked for it. Its more than being in love, its being in her inner circle, where its just him and Sahil. He's not going to be able to give it up to some Tom Dick or Daksh who wanders in and scoops away the right to WORRY from him. And she will MAKE him back off.

Its become too engrained. You'd think his ego will keep him aloof now, but I think the opposite will happen. He actually expects his BROTHERS to do the job of taking care of Anika for him, when he's not around. Rudra got yelled at in the spa sceen--"You couldnt watch over her?" Om got a fierce demand last night "Where is she? Where is Anika!" Some how, Shivaay has decided Anika watching is their job, too, now.

You go home. Its too late for you to be here. I will take you home. You drink this. You work too hard, you are a musibbat magnet, you are so careless with yourself, you are exhausted. You let me handle this, you sit back, you moronic woman, dont you move. You let me take of care of you. Drink the juice, don't you get up, you rest, you call me, you remember, right that you have to call me? And so far, she has let him. All the way up to him showing up at her house, and being given that final right, to hold her, to soothe and comfort her. To look under her bed for monsters, to tell her there are none. That, while he's there, with her, no monster will dare to show up to harm her. To make decisions for her, give her the power of his money via 24-7 guards. And his name. The right to his name on her lips.

He's earned his way to that final triumph.

On Monday, he will be exerting the other right she gave him --to answer for her. He believes he knows her answer, after all, didn't he demand one from her by the poolside, and wasn't it was a No? He knows her words, and her silences. So he will go ahead with that, because he knows he has the right. Unconsciously, Shivaay has been exerting his right to protect and watch over her. That same thing will now be intolerable for her. All that work undone, through two manipulative people, in two episodes.

Damn. I might cry for HIM..

Edited by napstermonster - 8 years ago

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fallingpieces

@fallingpieces

Explorer

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: mishti4maan
I actually love this post because I didn't think of Shivaay from that "two-faced" angle.But you are right. To Anika, he must look so so fake. Shivaay does make it look like "he says something but he means something".
I really want Anika to not let him protect her. Because I really want him to face that type of rejection because it will burn like hell. he spent all this time and effort rejecting her and making her feel little that now I think he needs a taste of his own medicine. He needs to feel what she felt so he can truly understand her perspective.

Shivaay's denial of his feelings for Anika has always given him a slightly- superior? detached? view of where their relationship stands. He freely looks after her and takes care of her and acts as though he has a special relationship with her because he has the safety blanket of being able to go back to Tia and make Anika feel like the one who's misconstruing things and reading too much into it and falling in love with him. He can always just say "Well obviously I'm not in love with you, because I'm engaged. I love someone else. You don't. You love me."

To have that taken away, to no longer be Anika's only option and to no longer be her first choice... I feel like I'm going to be bawling into my tea as I watch the next few weeks of episodes. For Anika and Shivaay.

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fallingpieces

@fallingpieces

Explorer

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: notacrimetolove
Nice post.

She also thought he cut her phone call when she called him for help in the middle of the night. She must have thought all his concern was fake because of what he said and then what she thought he did when she needed him most. She must be so angry and thinking that she's finally seeing him for who he is. She must think everything and the relationship they've built up is fake.

Even in the precap she looks angry and annoyed. She's angry because how dare he speak for her after what he's done. Anika will finally take away the rights she's given him in the precap scene and make it clear that he has no right to speak for her anymore or presume to know what she feels or will say. She'll truly shake his world. She'll give the one answer he thought she'll never give. He thought he knows her better than anyone but she'll prove him wrong.

THE PRECAP.

Heartbreakingly- Anika probably would have turned him down again if not for Shivaay interfering. Shivaay being so desperate for her to say no that he said it for her. I mean, even if she wasn't in the midst of a huge MU with Shivaay thanks to the TuRD Trio, the Anika of old would probably have at the very least snapped at him to quit speaking for her and say that she was more than capable of answering Daksh herself.

That Anika Shivaay would have understood, even if it did embarrass him in front of all his guests (though is this going to be any less embarrassing? I doubt it.😆). But this Anika? The one who will ignore his words, ignore his protests, ignore him?

That Anika he won't for the life of him be able to figure out.

I wonder if there's part of Anika that's saying yes not just for the "YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ME" of it, but also the "SO THIS IS WHO YOU THINK I AM? YOU THINK I WANT A RICH HUSBAND AND ANYONE WILL DO? FINE. I'LL SHOW YOU. ANYONE WILL DO. F U."

Edited by fallingpieces - 8 years ago

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