The Joker l An Irreverent Daksh Drabble l Part 2 Updated Pg6 18Dec - Page 4

You gaiz, I'm back! Missed me, ya? ;) But I had to darlings. Come back that is. It is time for you to see and appreciate the arsenal I'd mentioned earlier. Genius can only be held back for so long, you know.

A lot has been happening that has been causing considerable agitation amongst my loyal fans. It's okay if you don't say it aloud guys, I know who you are ;) There was quite a storm in a teacup (and I saw that Minton crockery wasn't being used, much to my michmichi (eww at how I've taken to using such words)) about how the video tapes came about, that I felt I ought to come and have a chat with all of you about it.

Confession time ... It is all the brainchild of my Guru, Daiya Ho of Chaar Chuhon Dhaam. It was his advice that I had gone to seek when I had disappeared rather abruptly. Father, did I hear you mention? Ha! That was merely a smokescreen, sweets.

You absolutely must have heard of him, right? The man is a genius. The pearls of wisdom which drop from his mouth in an impeccable Luckhnowi accent are to die for. As is the mind boggling array of technology he has at his fingertips. NASA and Q, eat your heart out!

While it is not easy for me to accept that there is anyone on a higher plane than I, but with him I had no qualms whatsoever. I shall forever remain grateful that he was magnanimous enough to jingle his holy blue bracelet and induct me into his inner circle. There wasn't much evidence of the existence of anyone else there, but that's neither here nor there. Quality and not quantity right?!

Apparently, he's not particularly fond of ultra rich men with double barrelled surnames. Playing mind games with them is his thing. Strange fetish to have, but hey, mine is not to wonder why. Oh, and he has this rather odd habit of referring to members of the opposite sex as either Happiness or Her Majesty. I'll let it drift for now, but maybe I ought to delve into the reasons with a nice snifter of Hennessy at some stage. But boy, does the man know a thing or two about life and it's myriad mysteries. I remain enthralled. He knew just what to insinuate to play with Shivaay's mind. He knew exactly how the man would react and lash out. He was even able to predict the trajectory of the actions he would take. Wow, just wow!

Getting Tia to assist was a piece of cake. She loathes Annika with a fervour which is the exact equal and opposite to my love for Annika (Uh, I know I said I was faking it earlier, but she kinda grew on me). That Robin fellow now was not so easy to persuade. The man was far too earnest in his love for his wife. I mean, it's Tia for God's sake! But I guess it's not for nothing that winged Cupid is painted blind.

I mustn't speak ill of the dead, though. I mean to stand up to Mrs Kapoor takes some guts, ya? The woman is vicious, and frigid as they come. But I have a sneaky respect for her ability to see the positive in everything. Robin's mortal remains had yet to be sent to the hereafter and she was already spinning the benefits of his death!

I had gotten rather fond of young Robin lately. The gamut of expressions he displayed, albeit ranging from the wooden to the infinitesimally more wooden, endeared him to me. He represented a perfect foil for my larger than life persona, don't you think? He had made a special place in my heart, weaving himself in insidiously, with his interesting jackets. As you may have noticed, jackets are so my thing. His love for his wife may have left me in baffled wonderment at the existence of such an emotion for Tia, but it was all consuming for him. So completely submerged was he in his love, that the end when it came, compelled the universe to do so literally. But, what a way to go. At the hands of his one true love. And it was only later that I realised he had been practising for the Mannequin Challenge all throughout! He sure did succeed spectacularly in that pool, no?!

I have to confess I didn't realise how prescient he was being when he had proclaimed he'd die if he couldn't be with Tia. And once again, he has proven to be my foil there, because in my case, my beloved will die if I can't have her. Guruji has given me a comprehensive list of options not to be adopted, in order to guarantee success. He was speaking from experience he said. Something about brake tampering and attar and havan ... When he starts rambling with that maniacal glint in his eyes, and odd twitches on his face, I just keep nodding and, of course, confine the flashing of my pearly whites internally you'll will be relieved to know.

Speaking of twitches, I'm practicing mine diligently to be like the great man. Did you notice my slight facial twitch after I had persuaded Annika to accompany me? It was barely noticeable I agree, what with all that sweat pouring down my face, but it was there. Bomber jackets in Mumbai and no air conditioning ... sigh the amount I have to suffer for my unique style. In case you are wondering how I can be so specific about the twitch, I did mention I record everything, didn't I. That revelation about the doll and it's inbuilt camera was for your benefit peeps. Annika and her little band of bumbling sleuths couldn't have cared less about how all the recordings came about.

It hadn't been hard to make sure the video made it's way into Om's possession. Terribly old fashioned to be using videos, but that's the Oberois for you. Probably them having to bow to Dadi's wishes, as she watches her copy of Ek Chutki Sindoor on loop. I had mentioned in my last chat that she was a darling, hadn't I? The way she has been mentally torturing Shivaay is just delish. Sindoor, Mangal Sutra, etc, etc ... be still my Shivaay loathing heart.

And when his khaandaan saw that video, what can I say ... I danced with the devil in the pale moonlight in unspeakable delight. Short lived though it was. That dratted Annika and all that nauseating pathos. Ugh. And the entire lot of them lapped it up. It did provide for some merriment though. Do they even realise how ridiculous they were? Does the term 'selective amnesia' even begin to do justice to this lot? Smh.

And then that Shivaay had to go and pour out all that was needling him to Annika. Everything! Raat guzari, like really?! I get his dil is pyaasa and her hoth are bheege given that he keeps shoving her in the pool, but really?! So tediously passe ...

Anyway, here I am. Guruji has assured me kidnapping works. He knows. Although, his make sure the kerosene doesn't get turned to water, is far too cryptic for even me to decipher. Can any of you make sense of it?

Wish me Daiya Ho in the meanwhile, darlings. A bientot!

Note:

What can I say, the man just demands to be laughed at!

~ Ruchi