The Whole Concept of Upbringing& Morality

Cat. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
I knew there was bound to be a discussion about upbringing & morality today. To begin with Ishana is indeed wrong in lashing out at Om but I do think it is wrong in questioning someone else's upbringing. It becomes very personal when in a fight people bring up parents & upbringing and while I understand why Om brought it up, it is natural for any child to lash out.
Also with regards to upbringing, are we to assume, Dadi was a bad parent, considering all three of her kids are far from being exemplary human beings?


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Actomyo thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Intresting topic. I have always hated this 'mummy-daddy ne yahi sikaya hai tumhe' since childhood and also I dislike the concept of parents background being the major decision factor for marriage alliances. How can a grown up individuals character can be solely attributed to the upbringing of parents is still a question for me. It's true that we learn a lot from our parents and imitate them but as we grow up some tend to imply those learnings in life and some divert from it. By this I don't mean to say that all bad people have good parents and they haven't absorbed anything from their parents, there do exist people who are bad as a result of bad upbringing but one can't generalize or trivialize this. There are traits which are carried genetically but there are lot of traits which go beyond genetics.
Regarding Ishana and Om, both are wrong and right in their place. Om is ought to be furious at her for fooling him, conning him he is totally right in lashing out at her, but bringing in her upbringing isn't right even though he knows her father is also an equal shareholder in the con, specially since Om himself had argued with Shivaay a few days ago that a person is what he is and not because of his family or upbringing. And now in the heat of the moment he turns away from his own ideals. Ishana is right in retaliating by relating him to his upbringing, in the heat of the moment but is totally wrong to defend her action, conning.
Edited by Actomyo - 9 years ago
Meha101 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
I had the same question about dadi, why her 3 children are like this? But her grandsons are opposite? Well in this topic I agree to a great extent that family and parents are the biggest influence in a persons life not that they define every thing but definitely play a big role.

OM had every right to shout at Ishaana, she cheated him. Her situation doesn't give her liberty to cheat someone else if so then most of the world will spend time cheating each other.

Ishaana was hurt when OM badmouthed her family ...which is fine in a normal scenario but a con woman cannot be too involved in feelings to run a con...
Anika_PreRish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Om is the sufferer here but he shouldnt have badmouthed her upbringing... She deffo has a reason behind conning people.
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Upbringing does have some impact on the person you later become but its not everything that you become. I won't deny the fact that some good traits in me today are solely because of the way my parents brought me up but its surely not everything I'm.
Most of what you become is your own self because for example, Do those folks who abandon their parents when they grow old do it because that's what their parents have been teaching them while bringing them up? Why would any parents teach their kids to not respect them or to not take care of them? Yet these kids go right ahead and do exactly that. Is that because of flawed upbringing or because the kids are pure insensitive? Now I'm not denying that some kids might be just doing what their parents did to their parents and are only imitating them but not all cases turn out to be like this.

Coming to Ishana and Om - what Ishana did was very wrong but she did have her circumstances for it, as do most of the people who do things they never would have had they been financially steady.
Omkara was rightfully mad at her and had every reason to shout at her but then he started giving her a lecture on how lying is a choice and not a majboori. He can afford to say all this because he really has nothing to lose by being like the way he is. All idealistic and full of morals.
She retaliated by dragging his father into it, she shouldn't have but she did nevertheless. Perhaps she felt he was judging her only through a prism of wealth and privilege, without knowing what it is to be in her shoes.

Edited : There were a lot of them who wanted a ruthless and unapologetic Ishana(I would've loved that). Now that it seems she isn't feeling guilty there are complains. Just saying.
Edited by Aahana- - 9 years ago
yellomellow thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Om's anger is justified.
Good or bad. Family is family so I can see why she said what she said.
Tit for tat. All normal reactions in my opinion.

Can't wait to see them move past this because Om is a believer in second chances. I'm looking forward to seeing their love story.
Cat. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: Actomyo

Intresting topic. I have always hated this 'mummy-daddy ne yahi sikaya hai tumhe' since childhood and also I dislike the concept of parents background being the major decision factor for marriage alliances. How can a grown up individuals character can be solely attributed to the upbringing of parents is still a question for me. It's true that we learn a lot from our parents and imitate them but as we grow up some tend to imply those learnings in life and some divert from it. By this I don't mean to say that all bad people have good parents and they haven't absorbed anything from their parents, there do exist people who are bad as a result of bad upbringing but one can't generalize or trivialize this. There are traits which are carried genetically but there are lot of traits which go beyond genetics.
Regarding Ishana and Om, both are wrong and right in their place. Om is ought to be furious at her for fooling him, conning him he is totally right in lashing out at her, but bringing in her upbringing isn't right even though he knows her father is also an equal shareholder in the con, specially since Om himself had argued with Shivaay a few days ago that a person is what he is and not because of his family or upbringing. And now in the heat of the moment he turns away from his own ideals. Ishana is right in retaliating by relating him to his upbringing, in the heat of the moment but is totally wrong to defend her action, conning.


This. So much this. Also our society in general like to look outwards if mistakes are made rather than inwards. If a bunch of kids get caught doing something wrong, it is always the other person's kid who is a bad influence on our kids.We never stop to think we are wrong. Upbringing does play a part but in many families, the moral fibre of siblings differs even though they have had the same upbringing.

With regards to Ishana, like I said I understand why Om brought in Ishana's father but also why Ishana retaliated. She was wrong but I think she only retaliated when he brought up her family.
Also to some effect I think she tried telling him " people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" The Oberoi family are from being morally righteous, two wrongs do not make a right but it was a natural reaction from her.

Edited by Cat. - 9 years ago
Stark_Wolf thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: Actomyo

Intresting topic. I have always hated this 'mummy-daddy ne yahi sikaya hai tumhe' since childhood and also I dislike the concept of parents background being the major decision factor for marriage alliances. How can a grown up individuals character can be solely attributed to the upbringing of parents is still a question for me. It's true that we learn a lot from our parents and imitate them but as we grow up some tend to imply those learnings in life and some divert from it. By this I don't mean to say that all bad people have good parents and they haven't absorbed anything from their parents, there do exist people who are bad as a result of bad upbringing but one can't generalize or trivialize this. There are traits which are carried genetically but there are lot of traits which go beyond genetics.
Regarding Ishana and Om, both are wrong and right in their place. Om is ought to be furious at her for fooling him, conning him he is totally right in lashing out at her, but bringing in her upbringing isn't right even though he knows her father is also an equal shareholder in the con, specially since Om himself had argued with Shivaay a few days ago that a person is what he is and not because of his family or upbringing. And now in the heat of the moment he turns away from his own ideals. Ishana is right in retaliating by relating him to his upbringing, in the heat of the moment but is totally wrong to defend her action, conning.



Agree with u bt O n shivay had an argument over Khandan n parvarish!shivay said ache khandan se ache parvarish mil te hai bt Om said khandan doesnt matter n he said d exactly same thing here Amiri karibi kisiko bure ya chor nahi banate its one's upbringing!
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Om is not wrong to question ishana upbringing when her father himself involved in all her con acts.she retaliated as she love her family.that is understandable.but question is that does om deserve her poor rich lecture and anger on being questioned her parvarish by her con dad.if being poor is excuse to be get involved in conning then this every poor man should follow advice.i dont know y everyone here avoiding calling spade a spade.
Y to question omkara reaction .did he deliberately try to cheat,lie or destroy any1.did he do anything tio he hurt any1.
All his fault is his inflexible ideology which make him judge others harsh.bt when he understand his fault he immediately apologize.him being idealistic is not crime.
Bt ishana being conwoman is crime.she deserved jail for conning 50 lacks before from rudra.she was deliberately planning to trap om and playing with his emotions and set on becoming his gf and then ditch him.isn't this her cruel attention.her father encouraging her for seducing a guy for money.instead of lashing out her anger on her father for being gambler and alcoholic making her and her sister life difficult ,she is giving excuse of poor rich ideaology to om..if all poor ppl in this world follow her ideology to take shortcuts to nake life easy then this world will be chaos.

I consider ishana bad becoz she is bad.she is criminal. there may be guilt and helplessness but that does not give anyone
Right to destroy another life.most of criminals in society have sob story that does not mean we will justify their crimes.any criminal deserve second chance if he or she has will to change .

Since this is fiction so anything can be possible.i dont need to relate ishana as she is fictional character and she will definitely undergo transformation .i dont need to color her character to make her acceptable to me.i have accepted her as bad girl and ishkara love story as bad girl fall in love with good guy and how they will change each other life.i dont need to color her character.
Actomyo thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: -PhoenixD-



Agree with u bt O n shivay had an argument over Khandan n parvarish!shivay said ache khandan se ache parvarish mil te hai bt Om said khandan doesnt matter n he said d exactly same thing here Amiri karibi kisiko bure ya chor nahi banate its one's upbringing!


As I said before neither Om nor Ishana is wrong here, both are right on their place. Family is family even a murderer, terrorist has the right to defend his family because upbringing isn't solely responsible for one's actions, it isn't right to blame one's upbringing for their bad doing. There are so many righteous parents who have evil children.
Om is absolutely right in saying lie is a choice regardless of poor or rich, but making upbringing responsible for one's choice isn't right. I know he spoke about Ishaana's upbringing because he knows her father is also a con and supports her in conning but in general holding upbringing responsible is illogical.!Just like Om has the right to question her upbringing Ishana has full right to defend it, just like Om knows her father is bad she too knows Om's father is bad too, it's just a reaction for the action in the heat of the moment.
About khandan/family and parvarish/upbringing being diffrent, I don't think they are much diffrent, family is the one which brings up children with certain morale, good or bad, so khandan is who does the parvarish, so if he isn't considering the khandan as responsible for one's action how can he consider parvarish as responsible.

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