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The streches and strokes of brushes were heard. The sounds weren't that of a calm, composed and relaxed artist. They were of an artist but this artist had anger in his intense eyes rage sputtered through his moth through the shiver of his lips as he stroked furiously on the white canvas bringing to life a picture that was dark and gloomy. That was what his life was - dark and gloomy. He knew it, he never was going to be anything but that.
OMI'S POV...
Whatever my brothers might say, I knew it right from the start that my parents never were going to become one. I had known it right from childhood. I had seen my parents fight since I was five but things never grew this far. Whenever I knew something was amiss, I would go to my mother who would put up a brave face for me but I had seen the tears she hid from me, the pain she hid from me. I always thought my mother was a hero since she always put up a brave face for me and made me laugh inspite of her being in deep pain and that was what heroes were supposed to do. A nap in my mother's lap made my mind feel at peace no matter what the problem was. As I grew up, I watched my parents fight even more. Rudra was the kid that always thought that everything would be alright as time goes. He thought that his father had some good in him.. Heck !!! Rudra was innocent. Only I saw my father for what he really was. A monster !! A beast who only cared about money and his own pleasure. I even know that the namesake father only liked me since I was the oldest of his sons.
It became too much for me and I started taking the aid of something that I wouldn't have done ever.. Drugs.. Ofcourse my brothers didn't know but Shivaay found out and it hurt him deeply. So deep that he almost broke down. Shivaay did everything he could to try and bring me out of depression. He stood beside me, walked with me towards the light and did all he could and atlast, he was successful in bringing me out. That day when I locked the drugs away was the day I saw Shivaay truly smile for the first time since he found out about my drug habit. It was good until I saw my mother lying unconscious on the floor. That broke my reverie. Seeing the woman that gave you life and raised you like the flower raises its petals lie in such a scary state takes the life out of you. I ran to her, begging her and asking her to wake up for me. I couldn't do without her. I couldn't do without my hero. I watched my younger brother in the same state as mine. I can atleast handle it within myself but he can't. Being pampered the most by Maa, he wouldn't do a day without her. I held him as he cried into my shoulder, my own tears forming in my eyes. And then I saw it. That damn clip. The clip where that beast was in bed with another woman and telling her about divorcing his wife. Anger coursed through my veins. I wanted to strangle that man but my mother loved him way too much. And then I felt my mother stir softly and she opened her eyes. Anger forgotten, I heaved a sigh of relief as she woke up slowly in my arms, tears falling freely from my eyes. Shivaay joined us and watched the clip. And then HE came. The beast that made my mother's life a living hell. He started defending himself. That nerve of him... My mother stood up and shouted that he had cheated her. I remembered all those childhood memories where my parents used to fights and I used to watch them. They were now coming back to haunt me again. And then I saw the thing that broke my heart entirely and filled my brain with anger and pain. My father had almost raised his hand on her. I ran away from there. I didn't want to be there. I neither turned back nor heard Shivaay asking them to shut up.
And now here I am, stroking the brush to make a picture that described me. I turned away to find solace in the only thing that was there. Drugs. Shivaay's face flashed in my mind but I pushed it away and took a gulp of tablets from the bottle. There was that spin of my head where I couldn't see anything and feel anything except a deep pleasure and relaxation which took my mind off everything. I swayed and I thought I heard Rudra and Shivaay shout for me. But I couldn't care less. I jumped into the pool and closed my eyes.. There was a reason why I choose to stay away from love, relationship and marriage. I was born from the flesh and blood of that man. What if I turned out to be him. Or even worse. I don't want to be like him. But then, kids are a shadow of their parents and who knows I might turn into him or one even worse than him. My life had been fully reserved for my siblings and my mother. There was so place for anyone else. Love and relationships have no place in my life. This is what I am. The Lone Ranger. As I thought about my mother, I fell into an unconscious trance as I floated on the crystal clear water..
Yesterday's episode was heartbreaking. My hands were etching to write something on Omi's POV regarding this. CVs could have written this. I wanted to watch something like this.. But then I have penned my thoughts down into this OS. Do drop in ur comments..
Anupamaa
