Part 9
a day passed but shivaay didn't leave hospital, forget leaving, his eyes were fixed at her cabin, where she was resting, when sahil woke up later in the night, he insisted on seeing anika that very moment and shivaay took him to her cabin, she was awake and her face light up at just one sight of her brother, anika and sahil bond is so precious just like the O'bros, that's what shivaay felt witnessing them together... both of them were lost in their own world as shivaay stood in one corner of the room, anika silently crying as sahil opened up to her about everything with which he went through in past 7 months and also consoling his didi whenever she blamed herself... 'i am sorry sahil, i couldn't fulfil my promise, i failed in protecting you, i failed as a sister' she had cried and that moment shivaay related her to his own self... what if something would have happened to his brothers, he would have killed those people who had tried to hurt his brothers and even had finished himself for letting his brothers go through anything with which sahil went through and that's when he made a promise to anika, the one which he made with himself earlier, to punish those people who had hurt sahil, he won't leave them..never he had been there when both anika and sahil drifted into sleep, with sahil's head in her lap and anika sleeping in seating position with her head resting at the back, he sighed and ordered another bed for sahil, once arranged sahil was shifted on his bed and he made anika lie down properly, she mumbled something in her sleep as he adjusted her head on the pillow but what she did in response was the least he expected...she held both his hand and didn't let them go..she tossed and held both his hands beneath her head sleeping peacefully...her touch reminded him of their past, so many moments of their's when she had been in his arms, his eyes moistened as he dragged a chair near and sat on it without making any attempt to free himself from her hold and that's how he went to sleep in such uncomfortable position with his head resting on her bed but his heart was at peace because he was with her, near her anika stirred in her sleep and rubbed her face tightening her hold around something, something hard, she opened her eyes slowly and blinked a few times to clear her view, her eyes widened finding shivaay in front of her with his head resting on her bed and she herself clutching his hands, his face so close to her that she can hear his heartbeats.. it was one rare sigh, he was so close to her that she didn't feel like pushing him away or waking him up, a wished escaped her heart without her realizing, a wish to have him beside her every morning, a wish to take her back to those days when they were together, when he had showered her with all the love she deserved...he gave her everything, his love, his care, his time but how she wished that he must had trusted her too, that he had believed on her love for him, but he didn't, he pushed her away when she needed him to trust her, he let go of her when she begged him to not to, she felt hot tears burning her cheeks and a sobbed escaped her lips reliving those days when she lost her everything in the hands of her love... shivaay's sleep broke as she sobbed, and he opened his eyes slowly to meet her's teary ones, his heart broke as some more tears rolled down her cheeks, it was one weak moment when she was unable to control her tears in front of him although she was in her senses , he wanted to wipe them away but she was still holding his hands in her's , her tears landing on his hand and her eyes throwing accusations on him, her eyes blaming him for all the pain she had bear...he felt like a culprit for all those tears she shed...he wanted to kiss her tears away, he wanted to make her smile...he wanted to do everything he had dreamed in past many months... 'annika' he whispered but she lied like that, without responding, her eyes didn't leave his as she starred at him lost in her own world, crying and smiling through her tears at the same time... 'shivaay annika' he heard OM and that's when annika let go of his hands freeing him from his hold, he suddenly felt empty and wanted her to take his hands in her's once again..he sighed knowing she won't and got up from the chair turning to his brothers, they had some questions in his eyes which he signalled to answer later, they blinked their eyes on that and turned to anika 'how are you feeling anika didi?' Rudra asked as he went and sat beside anika 'i am fine rudra...sahil ' she replied and was going to ask about sahil when she glanced at the bed beside her's and found her baby brother sleeping their, her eyes moistened but rudra held her hand protectively in his, silently giving her the support she badly needed 'i failed rudra ' she whispered placing her forehead on their intertwined hands 'no didi you didn't in fact mere liye ap dunya ki best sister ho...sahil is so lucky to have you' rudra said and made her face him 'always remember didi, you are the best and you shouldn't blame yourself with what happened to him in past months...you had no idea of his whereabouts and you yourself were dealing with so many things...you are the best, understand?' rudra told her and she nodded drinking her tears 'rudra is right annika, do not blame yourself for anything...and yeh sab chodo mai yeh btana aya tha that doctor has allowed us to take sahil home, he said we can look after him at home also...' om informed the trio but both his brothers failed to notice the frown on her face but HE didn't 'one moment, home? Nahe om sahil mere sath Mumbai ja raha hai..' she said and the three of them starred at her with a sinking heart 'annika didi' rudra whispered not able to say anything else, the thought of her going away from them again shook life out of them.. 'rudra please, we shouldn't forget our past, it's been seven months to that day, maina bohat mushkil se khud ko sambhala hai, mai yeh sab phirse nahe karpaongi...' she let go of rudra's hold and sat straight 'mere bhai ko mujhe lauta kar tum logon ne mjhe jeene ki wajah dedi hai, mere zindagi lauta di mjhe' her eyes welled up with fresh tears 'warna jitna raita mere zindagi mai phela hua tha na, dil to mar jana ka karta tha' she said chuckling and shivaay's heart skipped a beat... she looked at him from the corner of his eyes and her eyes mirrored his expression...he was losing it and so was she ... the difference was he can't let her go but she wants to go 'anika please, don't go...i know jo hua bohat bura hua, we can't even change the past but give us a chance to mend what we broke' om almost pleaded sitting on the other side on bed, she sighed 'om it's not just broken, it's dead...yhan ab kuch nahe hai' she said pointing at her heart and something broke insdie him 'she has no hope' his heart screamed 'we are sorry annika didi' rudra said looking down guiltily and she nodded a no 'you shouldn't be sorry rudra for this , i have killed it myself because it use to hurt a lot, i couldn't bear the pain..it wasn't in my will...islie mar dia, i killed it along with all those hopes, love and feelings which was related to it... and now my only reason to live is sahil, someone whom i love more than my live' she told them and they hung their heads down knowing they failed in stopping her now she will go to not to come back ever shivaay stood their as she promised both of them to be in touch but what about him? Will he be able to live Without her again? Can he let her go again? He felt short of breath and without saying anything left from their, the trio turned to the door as he left, OmRu noticed as something died in her eyes, may be a hope that he will speak up and will stop her..she took in a deep breath and reminded herself i have no right to hope, it will hurt later Om cleared the bills of hospital as anika got sahil change into something casual bought and brought by rudra, anika met nupur and updated ragini about her health, shivaay even got to know where she would be staying till nupur's discharge but remained quite, knowing he has no right to stop her, he had to let her go the way he did months ago, difference is that months ago she wanted him to stop her but today he can see no such wish in her eyes and why would she want it anyways, he didn't trust her love for him, he pushed her away and thus this is his punishment for making her go through hell... annika helped sahil walk and both of them left from the hospital in an auto with ShivOmRu following her in their car, shivaay was silent throughout the time as they returned OM, Oberoi ladies wanted to ask him so many questions but he was not in a proper set of mind to answer any of them thus he walked away and into his room, locking himself inside... he needed time to accept the fact that he has lost her once again, that she has walked away and this time he had to let her go, unwillingly because she doesn't deserve him... tears rolled down his cheeks as he realized how wrong he was in not trusting her, 'usne kaha tha ke mai uska bharosa nahe karunga aur maina nahe kiya... how right she was and what a loser i am...i didn't trust her when the only thing i made her believe was that i trust her, i love her... this was not love dammit..i never loved her,i never trusted her...i broke her..maina uska bharosa tod diya, maina uska dil tod diya...i finished her...i just finished her' he cried seating beside his bed clutching his hairs as the events of that day flashed in front of him like a movie...her worry for them, her getting scared for their future, he thought she was scared because of daksh but no the thing which scared her was not daksh but him...she feard that he won't trust her and he didn't... he should had given her a chance to explain...he should had... he cried and sat there till he lost track of time and was brought back to the world only when his brothers called him and he had to let them in because they are his only support now 'bhaiyaa what shall we cook in dinner?' Rudra asked as three of them stood in front of the stove wearing their caps and apron ready to cook some delicious food...shivaay smiled although it didn't reach his eyes but he did smile and shrug 'anything you want to have ' he said and rudra, who was on a mission to cheer his brother up came up with a list of dishes he wants to eat 'itna khaega to motta hojaega' shivaay said shaking his head at rudra and he pouted 'what is this bhaiyaa...you don't love me na' placing his head on his shoulder he did some buttering so that shivaay will agree and he laughed agreeing to cook it for him 'bhaiyaa i love you so much' he exclaimed hugging shivaay 'rudra bus kar, shivaay ko sugar hojaege' om joked laughing out aloud at him and he made a face 'O don't ruin the moment, come join us' and he pulled Om for the hug too, trio hugged, this time shivaay's smile was real and it lightened his brothers heart too..with hope 'rudra, moment nikal gaya hai' om said after a minute 'pehle emotional tha ab awkward hogaya hai' ShivKara said together and rudra let go of him half heartedly 'yaar yeh moment har baar nikal kyun jata hai?' They laughed hearing his complain and shook their head at his silly yet adorable antics 'bhaiyaa' prinyanka called out and all three of them turned to her, her expressions telling that something wasn't right and their doubt was correct something was indeed wrong as she was on a call and the person on the otherside of the call was none other than sahil 'what's wrong prinku' rudra asked and she signalled at the mobile 'it's sahil bhaiyaa, annika fainted' 'she opened her eyes and looked around the unfamiliar surrounding of her's , she was confused for a moment about her whereabouts but then her eyes widened on the possibilities and she got up with a jerk, she was so right when she recognized the place as shivaay's room, her head pained as she clutched it with both her hands, she don't remember anything, the last thing she remember was having dinner at the orphanage but after that nothing is clear 'thank god you are up anika' she heard priyanka and looked ahead at the door as priyanka walked in with a tray in her hands, she came and sat beside her 'annika, have this soup and please take these medicines...' she requested and annika did as asked...she was still confused and a little worked up too as she finished her soup and took medicines prinyanka smiled before getting up 'I will go and inform everyone that you are up ' she told her 'prinyanka...' annika called out and she turned to her 'sahil...?' 'He is sleeping in rudra bhaiyaa's room' 'oh ohkay' they passed a smile to each other and she left after that while annika rested her head on the back in an attempt to refresh her mind...that moment she felt as if everything is blocked...she didn't know what happened with her which resulted in her waking up at the Oberoi Mansion but she knew that it's serious soon she heard some footsteps and looked ahead to fine ShivOmRu with dadi at the door, she passed them all a smile, a hesitant one as she shifted uncomfortably on her place 'feel comfortable annika...you aren't stranger' dadi said and she looked at her strangely, she don't want to admit it but hearing such things from these people makes her sick, how much she try she can't forget how badly they treated her, they would have treated even a stranger better then how they treated her...she shook her head, bringing her out of these thought 'yes dadi' she whispered 'ho...how did i come here?' She asked as four of them surrounded her 'sahil called us and informed that you fainted...that's why me and shivaay got you home' om answered in a simple sentence and nodded wait whose home? This isn't my home 'i am sorry for the trouble i caused you people again, i guess my B.P was a little bit low that's why but i am fine now, i would want to leave' she said attempting to get up only to be stopped by him 'annika, there is something a miss here, what i am feeling with all this isn't normal, let us get into the depth of it and once we are assured that nothing is wrong, you are free to go' shivaay said, his hand on her lap in an attempt to stop her even she got such feeling listening to him and felt that something wasn't right, but she remained quite not giving him any answer directly but she was in delimma, delimma caused by her own thoughts 'annika puttar, you should take rest..we will see you tomorrow ' dadi said and annika nodded a little as three of them got up and wishing her good night left from there but shivaay was still there, his hand still on her lap but he removed it quickly as she glanced at him and then at her lap 'ohh sorry' he apologized 'annika i need to talk to you..' he said hesitantly and she nodded silently permitting him to continue, he took in a deep breath before continuing 'annika i know you want to leave and you can leave when everything is sorted but please believe me on this that something is not right, i don't know but i am having a very bad feeling with all this, you fainting without any reason is something i failed to understand and i need to tell you this too that daksh was involved in everything which happened to sahil' she looked at him shocked...and her instinct was so right she did feel that all this has to do something with daksh always remember annika i will never let you live peacefully...tumhe tumhari khushiyan kabhi nahe milege, tumhe tumhara pyaar kabhi nahe milega she winced as she remembered his threat to her that same night but she had not taken it seriously because she thought shivaay will set everything right when she will tell him ... how wrong she was 'you fine?' He asked bringing her out of her thoughts 'yes i am ohkay , shivaay you are right, daksh has something to do with everything which happened with sahil and whatever is happening now too' she said and he frowned 'you think like i said you fainting without any reason is also because of daksh?' He asked and she shook her head 'i don't know shivaay, but he had threatened me, usne kaha tha ke mai kabhi khush nahe reh paongi...he had said that' she said as clutched the bedsheet, anger and helplessness rising within her at the same time because it was him due to whom she lost everything months ago and now he is back he kept on looking at her as she told him about her threat, a shiver ran down her spine as she said those words, it felt like she relived the past just by uttering them, he closed his eyes feeling disgusted on himself to let her suffer all alone, he so wanted to pull her in a hug and apologize for everything she went through, only if he had trust her then things wouldn't have been how it is...it hurts, it hurts to realize that the person you loved the most is suffering because of you, it hurts to see her like this, it hurts to know that she will never forgive him, it hurts to let her go, it hurts so badly for not being able to hold her in his arms and tell her that he will set everything right...it hurts so bad 'daksh wapis a chuka hai shivaay, but i won't be weak this time, i won't let him ruin my happiness this time, mai kal hi ragini ma'am se baat karunge, i will go away from here, this city has never given me anything but pain and betrayals..i shouldn't stay here anymore ' she said to him more like telling it to herself and he starred at her with hopeful eyes, to seek his support, to look up at him for his help or anything which involves him, but she didn't, not even once she count him in anything because may be she don't have any hope from him left and she is right...he hadn't even given her any reason to rely on him 'shivaay baby' tia called out and both of them turned towards the door as tia walked in his room with a smile on her face 'tia what are you doing here?' 'pinks mom called and informed me about you, she said you may need me beside you as you had been so worked in last two days, that's why i am here...baby are you ohkay?' She asked placing her hand on his cheek, annika looked away as she did and he nodded removing her hand from his cheek, 'i will go' annika said still looking at the other side, tia opened her mouth to utter a yes but shivaay was quick 'no ... you stay in this room annika, we will go' he said but she was out of the bed already 'no you both stay i will go shivaay...waisa bhe mein yhan jana ke liye hi wapis aye hun' she said as she turned and silently made her way out of his room...a tear rolled down her cheek and she hated herself for even shedding a tear because of him...he has moved on and she had been hoping that he will stop her...she chuckled at the irony of her life ... it hurts to still feel hopeful about them...it hurts to be around him...it hurts so very much...she can't let herself get hurt anymore, she will leave right now...yes she will leave right now 
CID
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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