Is it wrong of me to be more disappointed in Zara than Kabeer?

I have not been able to stomach the episodes following the talaq fiasco. Why is Zara taking all this shit? What is she doing forcing herself and this marriage on someone who is a selfish, chauvinistic asshole for whom his religion, his family (which his wife is not obviously a part of in his mind), his business, the guard of his friend's house, his neighbour's dog, the crow that sits on a random tree are far more important than his wife. Him running and saving Zara from the train track and showing his angst and love (maybe) proves what? Nothing. Love alone can't do a thing if atittude and respect don't walk hand in hand. I am not going to ask if he loves Zara or not or say that he never loved Zara. I think I have passed the age when it seems like love is the beginning and end of the world: if Kabeer says he loves Zara,I believe he loves Zara but loving someone doesn't make a person less selfish, less chauvinistic, less demanding towards his needs (even if it does, that's probably 0.25% of the world's population). The point is not even about Kabeer loving Zara or not, his attitude towards her is problematic. No one treats anyone like this. And no one should allow anyone to treat her like this. Zara used to be the strongest female lead on television for me and now I find her the most shameless of all.

I have written Kabeer off as the most realistic depiction of assholes living in our society but someone I can't bring myself to like anymore. Now I am having to write Zara off as the most realistic depiction of women in our society and I just can't find it in me to admire her a bit anymore. We are all talking about Kabeer's character not being redeemed, is there any way in which Zara's character can be redeemed? She is going against her husband to fight for women's right to go to mosque and then allowing mental abuse on herself day in and out! She has been mentally abused and even physically abused (during that investor coming to home and dupatta argument and to some extent when Kabeer actually took her from his home and left her in her parents) and she doesn't even seem to be aware of it,let alone take actions against it! She has been brought up by amazing parents, is an educated woman who can do whatever she wants to do and her parents have stood up against society for her by never limiting her and how is she repaying them? By showing them that she is as good as an uneducated woman who has no grounds to stand on and therefore runs after her husband no matter how the husband treats her? What are we going to be shown? That Zara's love, her compromise, her selfless love is what eventually changes Kabeer? Is that what we will be shown and what we want to see?

I, for one, am sick and tired of mass media giving out messages to woman to be the tolerant,patient,sacrificing one in the marriage and one day the beast that your husband is, will turn into a handsome prince. Have we,women,been born to cater to others needs?To make better people out of hopeless people? Is the responsibility to make the world a better place only ours? I had wanted to see Kabeer change through Zara's no nonsense attitude, not through her Gopi dikra attitude (I don't know if any of you have ever seen Saath Nibhana Saathiya but my goodness!)! For once I had wanted to see a man working alongside his wife to make his marriage work (I love Naamkaran because it gave us Neil and Avni). Instead, in the name of empowerment, I am having to digest a woman who screams woman empowerment but her own life is that of the most disempowered one. Her husband leaves her in her parents home by giving her talaq, she comes running after him. He doesn't talk to her properly, she has to blackmail him with thirty days challenge or whatever to at least look at her and say whatever he has to say. He humiliates her in front of one and all and she just walks away heart broken and I am sorry I could not feel an ounce of sadness for her because she brought it on herself. She brought it on her father too. For everything that he has done for her, this is how she pays him: by clinging on a man who is a complete jerk. This drama's portrayal of gender through its lead protagonist is as realistic as it can get but it is giving the same sexist message that no matter what, it is the woman's responsibility to save her marriage, to change her man and make him more worthy, etc etc. I see a lot of people saying the Kabeer is not worthy of Zara's love but is Zara worthy of anyone's respect? What has she done to earn anyone's love or respect so far? She just gives lectures left, right, center which do not reflect anywhere in her own life: she gives in to pressure and marries a man she doesn't want to marry, falls in love with him within a week of marriage because well, life is all about love,right? Goes out of her way to be nice and accomodating to him while she is as good as a furniture for him and he is just happy that their honeymoon is over when she was his responsibility and now that they are back, he can go about with his own life. Somewhere down the lane, he also fell in love with her: they share the same room, she supports him, is a nice person and most importantly, treats him like a king so why won't he love her? And then comes her fight for women, in the process her marriage takes a backseat, she is not bothered much about how it may affect her conjugal life, how it may hurt Kabeer, how it may leave a very deep scar on him. Instead she is all about doing what is right and she goes ahead with that because Kabeer loves her and has been treating her right for the past few days,right? And then starts the mistreatment again. Leaving her at her parents to talaq to yesterday's episode. So my question is what is here to admire in Zara? Her lectures which never translates to practice? In which way is he an example of a self-respecting individual, let alone be an icon for women empowerment?

I am sorry if this post is a bit too harsh but ITV really needs to do something about giving out wrong messages. It's time that women are portrayed better than being the ones carrying the sole responsibility for family's honor (Zara getting married against her will, she should have walked away holding her head high and proved herself to be an example of social change) and of making sure her marriage works. In my opinion, every other woman in this drama is more empowered than Zara, her mother has a much more equal relationship with her father, even Ayesha has the courage of calling a spade a spade and her husband does not abuse her for that or reject her for her stance even if he does not agree with her (I see Ayesha seeking her husband's permission for many things and many would call it disempowering but I hardly ever see him refusing her, screaming at her or misbehaving at her for what she asks of him...in cases where he doesn't agree he is still nice to her...) and Zeenat also has the freedom to be herself. The problem with women empowerment is that we only think of women as empowered when they go outside home, that is not empowerment. Empowerment is being in relationships where you are treated the same way as the other person expects you to treat them, it is the freedom to voice your opinion and be accepted for who you are, it is to not be afraid and knowing your worth. Since after the Kashmir track, Zara's actions have been disturbing me, be it with Kabeer or Rukhsar, Zara has been disolaying a really low self-esteem and an extremely weak personality.

Completely agree, there is no sense in staying in a relationship where there is no respect for you. The truth is women shouldn't have to tolerate and in reality your husband isn't going to turn into Prince Charming if your patient. Unless you raise your voice if he's a dog, he'll always be one. You let him treat you like that and he'll treat you like that forever. In the earlier episodes when Kabeer grabbed Zara shoulder she shudder raised her voice, instead she was quiet. He never even apologised for that incident.

This serial is turning out to be exactly the opposite of what it was touted to be. Women empowerment in Islam, but all we see is a woman who refuses to see the abusive and dominating side of her selfish husband who's only aim is to believe and care for everyone except his wife, who gets sudden attack's of being a good husband and when the seizure is done, goes back to being the abusive person that he is, frankly I think they are running out of a story and every time they redeem Kabeers character they realize that if everything is set right between the leads then what do we show, throw in some romance every time the TRP drops, so it's a vicious circle, if he is more abusive TRP drops and romance brings it up, so I think this is what we are going to get for a while till we all realize that this is another show with a great start that went down the much trodden path!Sigh!!

I just hope that after this incident, she leaves him and his house and goes to stay at her house... she deserves better.. Zara and Kabir should only meet again when it is time for the next talaq... or at a sharia board meeting where she should ignore him... and he should feel guilty and try to talk to her...

I'm just so confused of where this show is going lol.. because I want her to leave kabir's House but if she leaves how is she gonna expose Miraj and Nilofer... also I'm pretty sure That Kabir will Zara the second talaq and but won't give the third because by then all their misunderstanding and problem (miraj and Nilofer) will be solved...

i dont know what to say sweetie ..i have tears u exactly said what i wanted to say but in vivid detail

Lovely analysis. Some of the same things I am thinking but you penned it so beautifully. The only point I still have a problem with is Zara's decision to testify against Kabeer at the sharia board .

+1

I wish the writers of this show can see this post I recently asked the assistant writer of this show on Twitter if the women of his country really do accept these sort of embarrassment and insult and he was most angry with me and also his responses was yes women of his country accept this with GRACE I knew he was lying because this is not 30-40 years ago this is the 20th century and I refuse to believe that women stick to these nonsense especially educated people like ZARA.

You depicted all my thoughts. I'm unable to stomach Zara's shameless behaviour. She doesn't have an ounce of self respect. It's not love but obsession. Kabir insulted her and her father but she went back to his house. No one can blame the chauvinist Kabir for treating her as doormat when she herself is asking for it. About Kabir, he is irredeemable in my eyes and I can't see him as the protagonist of this show after seeing his violent behaviour from the start. I hope cv's redeem both these characters and give a valuable lesson at the end.