ViDha S.S -part 3 updated, page 2

.Preetii. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
The continuation of the first part of the ViDha S.S ( jungle track modified)...
THE FIRST PART- www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4559656

Viplav held Dhaani's face."Dhaani Dhaani wake up.Don't close your eyes""Dhaani"
Dhaani tried to open her eyes"haan...hmmm" "I will get u water.Don't worry.I won't let anything happen to you." Dhaani tried to nod her head.

The cannibals run and hide behind the tress.

Viplav stands to get water for HIS DHAANI, when Dhaani fell down.Viplav rushed back to her"Dhaani...are you ok?" "My head is paining"she replied."Get me some water."

The men looked at him, no one moved.

Viplav looked at them "Are you all deaf, can't you hear?Stop staring at me and at each other.There must be some water over here...They have made her drink something." He looked back at Dhaani, who coughed slowly.

One of the men brought him water that was kept aside near the fire in a tiny bowl.
Viplav snatched the bowl from his hand when he offered it,thus spilling some.He sprinkled some on Dhaani's face and made her drink some.She coughed again, moved her face away from Viplav and vomitted.Viplav continuously rubbed her back, she washed her face as Viplav poured water in her hands.She made her drink some more.

"Viplav baba,go away to your car.We will hold them here and we will come after you."the person who gave the water bowl, spoke.

Another of the men added"yes. We have a livelihood because of Maha pandit ji.We will obey him.You leave.Moreover we have weapons with us.You just be safe."

"Ok." He cupped Dhaani's face"Stand up. We need to go as soon as possible.
She tried, but stumbled.Viplav held her hand tightly"I will never let you get hurt"
"Walk slowly, Dhaani"

The leaves rustled.Vip looked back, the cannibals were still there.He realised that he has to go away from there. He looked back at Dhaani, its not safe to stay here for anymore time, he thought.

Dhaani leaned on his shoulder.
"Come back after me soon" he shouted at the men, who seemed alerted by the rustling of leaves.

Viplav lifted Dhaani."Hold on to me Dhaani." he said as he ran away from that place.
A pair of eyes from behind the trees noticed them going away.

At Ayodhya Niwas, Dadi was informed about the safety of DT by Viplav.She had gathered everyone at the hall, when DT came in. Kanak stared at his face, probably checking if he was the same DT who had fallen into the pit. "Escaped yet again" she hit her fist on the sofa.
"Where is Viplav?" DT looked at dadi as she questioned him, "he is in the forest, with Dhaani"
"Dhaani?' KT asked.
DT looked back at her, "Yes she landed herself into trouble by saving me." He explained everything.
Dadi asked him to sleep but he denied, he can't sleep till his grandson returns.

Viplav's cut (made by trishul by one of the monk) on the shoulder widened as he hit a tree. Dhaani held onto him."Put me down now"She heard his silent screams of pain.
"No, lets go away a little."
"I can walk, I am feeling better now." "sure?"
"Yes!" He put her down." Come fast now."
Hold my hand" Dhaani said. Viplav smiled" yes! ofcourse, always"
Dhaani glared at him."my head is paining, pagal."
Thats why i denied to put you down, vip replied."Wait let me pick you up again."
Dhaani pushed him aside as he came to hold her "No.I will walk.Moreover someone will see."
"That means you don't have any problem with me lifting you up, you are just shying because someone will see." Vip smirked."And by the way u didn't object when i picked you up infront of those people then who are you shying from, over here...these birds?? Vip laughed.

"Show me your hand,"
"Arre, its nothing just a small cut."
"Its bleeding badly"Viplav looked at her as she cried, he knew that she is the one.The one made for him.

No, it was small but it widened when i picked you up."Dhaani didn't listen to him as he laughed on his joke.

"Ok! Now tear your saree and tie on this wound as you do everytime."
"No! give me your handkerchief."
Vip stopped his laugh and took out a white handkerchief from his pocket.

"We should leave this place."Dhaani tied the wound as she looked around.
"We have come far from those people"Vip replied "so don't worry."

They were far, or so it seemed as they heard footsteps, that were kept on the leaves fallen on the ground.Both viplav and Dhaani looked back,they saw no one.Everything was still.

Vip looked at Dhaani"We need to get out of here, someone is hiding."
Dhaani held his hand. "Don't be afraid, nothing will happen." Vip assured her.
Dhaani replied "You are with me, I am not afraid."


Tell me if u like this.Suggest the changes required.
The next part will be a longer one.😊





Edited by Spreeti98 - 9 years ago


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mehraan thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Hey Preeti...very well written!!!im liking it.. liked the detailing of aghoris n Vipu baba inaction...hoping for more xcitement n romance in the coming part!!!

Suggestion dear...Edit the title n write it as Vidha Ss asIt becomes more clear to the readers to know its a story...u can give a title too like a name.. n secondly the continuation of ur First part please copy paste the link below or at the beginning of ur story so tat whoever missed can read it...!!! ALL the parts post in this thread...so all r in one place!!
Edited by mehraan - 9 years ago
Hamlet53 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
hi spree... loved it ,i too agree with mehraan... you need to clarify to readers.. what category of writing it falls under.. OS.. SS or FF.. ? please continue writing this piece.. the setting is attractive and so are the leads.. so waiting for next bit..
love hammie
.Preetii. thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: mehraan

Hey Preeti...very well written!!!im liking it.. liked the detailing of aghoris n Vipu baba inaction...hoping for more xcitement n romance in the coming part!!!

Suggestion dear...Edit the title n write it as Vidha Ss asIt becomes more clear to the readers to know its a story...u can give a title too like a name.. n secondly the continuation of ur First part please copy paste the link below or at the beginning of ur story so tat whoever missed can read it...!!! ALL the parts post in this thread...so all r in one place!!


Hiii...!!
Thanks!!!..
Vip babu will stay in action till he ensures Dhaan's safety.😆
Yes! will definitely try to make the next part better.

Thanks for your suggestions.Will work on it and will give a suitable title by tomorrow.I have pasted the link.
But how to keep the parts in one place.Is there any way??

Edited by Spreeti98 - 9 years ago
.Preetii. thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: Hamlet53

hi spree... loved it ,i too agree with mehraan... you need to clarify to readers.. what category of writing it falls under.. OS.. SS or FF.. ? please continue writing this piece.. the setting is attractive and so are the leads.. so waiting for next bit..
love hammie


Hiii !!!
Thanks..!!

Yea! I completely forgot to mention this in the title for better clarity.!
This is just a short one, only based on the forest track...! will probably complete this in 1-2 parts.

Will write the next part soon.Keep reading.😊
Edited by Spreeti98 - 9 years ago
.Preetii. thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: pearl82

Very well written.beautiful.do continue.


Thanks..!! And keep reading, next part will be up soon!!
mehraan thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 9 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: Spreeti98


Hiii...!!
Thanks!!!..
Vip babu will stay in action till he ensures Dhaan's safety.😆
Yes! will definitely try to make the next part better.

Thanks for your suggestions.Will work on it and will give a suitable title by tomorrow.I have pasted the link.

But how to keep the parts in one place.Is there any way??


Now once u write the third part in this thread...u can update in ur title again the THird is updated. On so n so page..n also u can paste that link like an index in the first post which will lead to tat part...I hope u understand if not...go to fanfics section here in If ...just check it to be much more clear...

Otherwise check the hammies siggy theres a link to her fanfic...U will get a better picture!!!... 😆😆 hope I make some sense!!!


Edited by mehraan - 9 years ago
BBSS11 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#8

very nice imaginations preeti. I loved it ..Please continue...😊

kiranpri thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
I am liking this very much indeed. We are getting our jungle track which we all hoped for. The way you have described everything and Viplav getting hurt etc looks real, so thanks dear. Looking forward to the next part.
.Preetii. thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: mehraan


Now once u write the third part in this thread...u can update in ur title again the THird is updated. On so n so page..n also u can paste that link like an index in the first post which will lead to tat part...I hope u understand if not...go to fanfics section here in If ...just check it to be much more clear...

Otherwise check the hammies siggy theres a link to her fanfic...U will get a better picture!!!... 😆😆 hope I make some sense!!!



Thanks...!!!
Yea! I somewhat understood.Will update the next part over here.! And i have not decided on a title yet.! Moreover the next part maybe the last part, so let it be ViDha S.S. jungle track..😆..or maybe i will rename it to Jungle mein Mangal...😆.

Thanks again...!!! 😊 The next part will be up soon.

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