Hindu Marriages *
FOR HINDU, Marriage is the attempted union of two different families rather than the union of two individuals. Social status, financial security and a host of other things are take into consideration while searching for prospective matches. It is assumed that when the horoscopes foretell compatibility, things will progress smoothly. The young people get a chance to see each other. But, in most cases, what makes the marriage work is the trouble shooting done by the parents. After the prospective horoscopes are matched "nakshatra porutham" - matching of the stars by the astrologer, an auspicious day and time is fixed.
ENGAGEMENT
At this appointed time family members and the boy will go to the girl's house, escorted by close relatives and the "jathakams" (horoscopes) are exchanged between the father of the boy and that of the girl.
This will be performed in front of the picture of their favorite god or goddess. Betel leaves, Betel nut, fruits, Incense sticks, Nilavilakku (traditional kerala lamp made of brass) and bhasmam (vermilion) will also be placed besides the picture of the deity. Then the girl and boy, in traditional dress, will exchange rings in presence of the gathering. Usually the engagement is held as a sacred one and is not allowed to withdraw from it.
FUNCTIONS BEFORE MARRIAGE
For fixing the day of the marriage. The usual procedure for this is that on the day given by the astrologer, two to three male members of the grooms family will go to the brides house and gives the astrology slip mentioning the day, date and the exact time (muhurtam) to conduct the wedding. Normally Tuesdays and Fridays are avoided for this visit.
MARRIAGE DAY FUNCTIONS
On the marriage day, the girl proceeds to visit the temple of her favorite deity. There an offering "vazhipadu" is made in the name, and star, of the groom. It is called 'astothara archana'.
At the auspicious time, the relatives of the bride will receive the groom and his relatives. The brother of the girl (or the person having that position) will apply sandal paste on the forehead of the boy, and offers him the garland. Afterwards the boy will be lead to the 'mandapam' - an elevated place usually decorated by flowers.
Then the bride is led to the mandapam, just before the muhurtam, in company of 9 to 11 girls in a procession of 'thalapoli'- a custom of leading the important person to the stage by girls holding a small circular vessel, made of brass or steel, with a coconut lamp and flowers. Then the father (or other elders if he is dead) will lead her to the mandapam and seats her on the left side of the groom.
At the appointed time groom will tie the sacred thread (this is usually a gold chain, but some people prefer an yellow thread), amidst the compulsory 'nadaswarem'- a mixed band of kerala musical instruments-with the help of his sister (or of those who occupies that position). At this moment the gathering of friends and relatives will shower floral petals on the newly wedded couple. Then both of them will garland each other. He then gives her 'pudava'- the traditional sari in a silver or steel platter. Then both of them will circle the mandapam, thrice. A pujari will also be present to help them go through the rites without hitch. He will be offered some 'dakshina'- a practice of giving some token money for the guidance.
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