Patriarchy or Clarity?

Today's discussion is for the people who first loved Imlie regardless of her naukrani status, then loved Malini for her bahu status, then hated Imlie for her biwi status, then loved Malini for her bachche ki maa status, then loved Imlie for her asli bahu status, then hated Malini for her not really bahu and schemer status, then loved Imlie for her resolving everything status, then didn't remember Malini at all status and finally realizing they have a nalayak son and now love Imlie because kyun nahi status.


To anyone who has guessed who I'm talking about - here's a free jalebi.

I am talking about 'Tripathis'. Honestly, I love this family because it's an accurate representation of how families operate. The older generation is very tied with their own learnings, refuse to unlearn their mistakes or erroneous behavior until its too late and expect a lot from the younger generation, then there's a ladla beta who gets a 'saat khoon maaf' clearance and then there are the two ignored kids who - by seeing their family and their difficult world - actually gets a very clear understanding of the world and in lieu of that, are extremely intelligent and wise beyond their ages.

Le Tripathis

(Decided to stick with an out of focus picture because that is how they are in the show tbh)

Le Ladla Beta

(I feel this is where Aditya's arc really should've gone regardless of new hero or not, he is someone who thinks he's very virtuous but tbh we all kinda know he's not so I love his character arc! He's a manifestation of the internalizes patriarchy of the Tripathis)

Le Bahus

(Just saying, both the women were manipulated by the Tripathis and accepted/rejected based on their comfort factor on whom they thought was more acceptable for the family and the family's social standing)


Le Wise Kids (Cause Our Family Ain't Wise)

But honestly, I love the Tripathis dynamic cause it really mirrors society very well.

-- -- --

So I've noticed off late how happy the Tripathis are with Imlie's wedding and a moment that remained with me is the whole scene where the senior Tripathis are 'relieving' Imlie of her duties and concern for Aditya and the Tripathis and asks her to enjoy her life.

Now my questions is whether the Tripathis 'freeing' Imlie of her responsibilities and worries for the Tripathis is coming out of internalized patriarchy or clarity? The reason I have questions is because I find myself having proper answer for both!

Patriarchy - The Tripathis can only let go of Imlie when she is bound to another man. Technically no woman should be solely responsible for the well being of a family - it should be a joined effort by everyone in the family so it was patriarchal enough that the minute Imlie joins the Tripathis she is not only working till her bone to make sure they're happy, but soon enough she becomes liable for their happiness and smooth functioning of the house. Also, the older generation literally holds her responsible for Aditya - a man who is incredibly older than her and should have the maturity of navigating his life. Or at least not throw his burdens on Imlie. And the reason why I feel it's patriarchy from the Ts is because even after Imlie is divorced or separates from Adi - the family still calls on Imlie and burdens her with their tensions because her being 'single' makes no difference to them. Actively watching her in another sasuraal with a new husband is what makes them go "yes, she needs to tend to them first... we now have no right to burden her with our issues"

Clarity - Imlie really worked hard to be accepted as a bahu of that household but given the Ts own fallacies, they couldn't accept her for the longest time. And once they did - they didn't want to let go of the family member who gives her life for them. Also they see that it is their son burning bridges, and they have this hope that when their son comes around and is deserving - Imlie will be back because she has shown on multiple occasions that her love for Aditya was unconditional. However, upon seeing Aryan - who at face is much better than their own son and Imlie getting seamlessly accepted and respected by Aryan's family - the Tripathis are exposed to their mistakes, judgements and prejudices. So they finally understand by seeing Imlie in a similar but different situation that it is them, their family and their son who failed to see what Imlie was. Thus they collectively try to rectify their mistakes by being happy solely for Imlie without any ties to their son - reassuring Imlie that their love does not stem from Adi (considering they played a lot with Malini and Imlie's minds by loving them for their relationship to Adi).

So what are your thoughts? Thank you for indulging me!

Hey S, thanks for the tag!

Pretty accurate write up bringing their fallacies to light. Their transitional phases till the Malini kaand us clear. From their pov, I get it..why they did it. The transitional arc from that point starts getting murky. Even when Aparna rejoiced on having an heir to the family, it was Pankaj who refused to give in and asked her to focus on Imlie. Or else she would lose her husband. So did Aparna finally accept Imlie cuz it was the only way to appease her husband or cuz she started to have doubts about Malini's intentions? (This part is still unclear to me). Cuz if the family was so sure that Malini is not suitable for them anymore, why didn't they support Imlie wholeheartedly? Were they waiting for the son to take a stand on their behalf? Like if you could scold Adi or threaten to walk out if he didn't choose between Imlie & Malini now..what stopped you from taking a stand before?

The stifling love (dependency) that they have on Imlie doesn't make sense. Like all of a sudden how did Imlie become sooo good and Malini soo bad. Cuz for them, pardafash happened just recently.

Interesting point about the patriarchal mindset. One that I asked at the start of this shaadi track..How is a marriage to Aryan going to stop Imlie from helping Ts? The only thing that would change is they won't get to use the haq card . But the thing is when the son willingly married Malini again, the haq should have stopped there. Imlie can very well share cordial relationships with the family, but the burden wasn't hers to bear. Malini was there. The unborn child was there. Unlike other evil bahus, Malini didn't go against the family or restrict any of their wishes. Yes, she & her mother didn't spare any opportunity to taunt Imlie. Why was the Ts so shocked by that? They too did the same before. What stopped them from accepting Malini this time...she didn't know to make good aloo poori like Imlie? Was that it? Each one of them shirked their responsibilities. This isn't love. But unfortunately IRL, this passes off as love very easily in families.. which ends up in taking undue advantage of a person.

I don't think they see Aryan as the better man. Only Aparna had lingering suspicion that Imlie might not come back..that too after Adi told her that Imlie outright rejected him after the pardafash. Till the bday episode where Aryan announced the marriage, noone had any reservations..they were that sure that things would be normal again. Again, only Aparna resisted the urge to be overconfident. The only clarity they got now was Imlie haath nahi aane wali cuz she is tied to another man. Just like Adi, I don't think they have processed their faults. Imlie would just have to say the word that she isn't married.. and then they would try to convince Imlie to come back. It's the "married " tag that's stopping them. It's just they want to part on good terms...conducting the shaadi is just tokenism. Like holding a farewell party for a loved one.

I didn't watch from the beginning, only from Aryan's entry. 😂

To be honest, I have a tough time understanding what some of these vogue words like patriachy mean. People use it so differently that it is hard for me to wrap my head around it. So I will just answer your question in a different way.

For me, the Tripathy is extremely unhealthy family where only some people have a voice Now, maybe Aditya was a great student or he was the eldest grandson or if he was just one of those personalities -- basically the family revolved around him and his life. heck, I still don't know the names of Aditya's siblings/cousins 🤣 That tells you how sidelined these characters are -- they obviously have their own lives and stories but the entire family lives and dies on Aditya's drama.

Even when Aditya is against Imlie, nobody has the guts to confront him on the spot and tell him to keep his mouth shut. Why? He is the son, the first son. That is unhealthy no? Because of that, their atittude also gets extended to the romantic partners in his life - one moment, they are for one sister and then another sister. Basically it is all what suits Aditya as well as their needs.

Whether it was a moment of clarity (them trying to save face or maybe they really cared, who knows!) or patriachy, it was clear Imlie needed to hear it. Now she hasn't really processed that because if she did, she would break out of this fake marriage and stop caring about this stupid family.