Harshad Chopra and the Sahir I loved.

I was an avid fan of 4 Lions' shows. Yes they pretty much recycled all the components of their previous shows and always made a mockery out of our emotions but then there is a saying, "If you can't beat 'em...join 'em"

I made a vow to myself that I will never...ever...neverever...watch anything related to this PH after my previous experiences. On the other hand I was holding the broken pieces of my heart as my beloved actor goes back to hibernation like a sleeping bear. No Facebook, no Twitter, essentially his became non-existent! Tbh I found it quite annoying what am I doing expecting him to be back on TV?

Of course I did. After all I love him. But days turned to weeks, weeks to months and months to two bloody years. Well I didn't expect him back on TV.

So basically I was a very normal girl who is worried about her future, studying to ace her exams, imagine my surprise when I go through Sony TV and watch Harshad Chopra after two years in a totally different avatar. I was like wow.

And also yeah I remember I dropped my chaat on the floor and had to waste my entire next twenty minutes cleaning it so yeah I had to miss the promo but it was HARSHAD CHOPRA after all. I just couldn't stop missing which lead me to YouTube and I absorbed in the promo at least twenty times. I mean it. I was sooo excited and that too in a Gul Khan show? WOW. Harshad Chopra has always been a chocolate boy/hero (2008-10) whatever you call it but then he broke it with his selfish character Mohan (2011) and the truthful, honest Raghavendra Pratap Singh (2012).

And on July 2014 - I watch an angry young man (read: hot, sexy, brooding male straight out from the world of Harlequin Romances or Mills & Boons. (Neither of which I am a fan of.)

It was new era for all the Harshad-lovers!

Harshad has played two different people in a character. A character who demands perfection, excellence and the aptness of emotions exhibited has always been fabulous. If anyone had any doubts on his acting skills well pray tell me what is this?

There were two different personalities in a single man, maybe he was bipolar or maybe he had multiple personalities but all I know is that Harshad had brought him alive, made him addictive that I was even ready to go through 20 minutes of bullshit just to take a glimpse of his face.

To the world he was Sahir Azeem Chaudhary - a rich, hardworking, crude, cold-hearted, money-making machine. A man who never took no for an answer. A man who built a stone around his heart. A man who never felt pity, who would do anything to get what he wants. A man who never smiled, who never cried, who never slept (if you know what I mean), who never hugged, who never requested.
A machine.
An abominable species to say the least.

Yet on the other hand he buried another obscure side of him. The side that he thinks makes him weak, yet makes him a better person. A side that he successfully masked opposed to the clueless world. Where not even his own family (not that he has any) could decrypt it nor could they bring it out.

To be honest I was struggling with my love for this fictional character. I was aggravated, upset and quite annoyed with but then my inner turmoil eventually found some solace when Sahir comes on screen. Just Sahir - the poet, the lover, the artist, the husband. This Sahir made me cry, made me smile, taught me to love, to be passionate, to be sacrificial, to be romantic, to punish the bad and reward the good.

While I did hate SAC I just couldn't stop admiring Sahir. So in memory of this beautiful character for whatever moments he bestowed upon us. I am here to write out my gratitude.

Some of us see Sahir as a hero; some say he is an anti-hero. While some say he is a grey-shaded man and some say he is a villain. But what I liked about Sahir was that he never did see himself as a hero. Yet if I concentrate on his positives they outnumbered his negatives. He would always put his own life in danger -- for anyone and everyone -- and barely thought twice about it before he launched himself into a deadly fight to protect the ones he truly loves. He lost more in blood and sweat and worry than any of the other characters ever did -- even the times when he won the fight. He took whatever was thrown at him, blow after blow, but he never blamed God for any of it. He always blamed himself.

To me, Sahir is a man worth admiring; for his courage, his selfless nature, sacrifices, and unconditional love; for his strength and vulnerability, his sharp mind and tender soul, his respect, concern and timeless inner beauty; for his protective, loving ways, generosity, and straightforwardness; for his utter and absolute unwavering trust in the people he loves, and his secret wish to be loved in return; for his passion and for the tears that he shed.

When he loved, he did it without any conditions, without expecting. When he hated oh . . . no one would want to face his wrath.

I still remember when Harshad Chopra came on screen, his hair, long, curly and messy, that sexy bearded chin, and that hell-fury blazing in his eyes. He was commanding his chauffer to drive through not caring a damn just like the crude man he was or wanted to show. I thought that here's another angry, young man and a stereotypical hero on Indian TV. I wanted to move on from the show.

But something about Sahir fascinated me. Maybe it was the fact that his anger seemed to have deeper roots than what initially met the eye. Maybe it was the intensity of his expressions, his rugged look, and mysterious aura. All I can say is that I couldn't label him stereotypical and move on yet -- I had to see more of him, much more.

He was that that unsolved puzzle that never seemed to click at once unraveling layer by layer one by one.

Thus I stayed and watched. His broodiness continued to intrigue me. It was how he was so silent and reserved, yet observant and present. There was something heartrending about him that just pulled my heart, no not just my heart, my mind the whole human in me. I connected with his soulful eyes and the very sadness that seemed to coat him. I needed to know what had shattered him, what makes him transition from just Sahir the poet to Sahir Azeem Chaudhary the cold-hearted bas***d.

Oh very attention-grabbing indeed Femi. Haha.

A little something to appreciate Harshad's vast acting ability. God look at his emotions you could just pinpoint every single of them.