Kaisa yeh pyaar hai? - Page 7

Originally posted by: Heema22

Anki . I am sorry to read that you have headache . Ek Zamana tha ke Mai or Ridhika were Dava for Sar Dard. now we are causing it ? Radhika Where are you ? California is up for long time. Come and defend ourselves . AnThima is in trouble . So we do change! ya?this is perfect example .

BTW this forum is Sar dard ki Dava hai .. Kante se Kanta nikalana hei to forum pe aa jayo.. Hum besabari se Intezar karenge . Zada Maska laganeki zarurat nahi hai . So stay with us.

If you write this well with headache and mental block then you made it girl . You donot have to continue your Phd .

I need to run . I am in meeting . Bored out of my mind. Thank God for cell phone.

See you around again on same place on Kanans thread !!!Promise?

Whoa! So much to read and so much to think about! Including the chicken business 😆

Okay, I wanted to respond individually to points that were made in respective posts, but found that my thoughts were getting more and more muddled. I would pick one thought and try my best to stay with it, but it would stray :( I am now swimming between "shades of love", "being in love", "compatibility", and so on.

Compatibility, marriage, love, trust, and understanding. Compatibility makes for a good marriage even if 'love' does not take you all the way into making a successful marriage. Love and trust are inseparable. Where there is love, there must be trust. Else, it is not love. This is what I have been able to get from the conversation between Ankita and Radhika on Page 4 (I think).

I am going to share my muddled thoughts through an anecdote.

I was in Delhi recently and my colleague (also female) and I started venturing into personal stuff. She was talking about the guy she was currently seeing and something she said indicated that she did love him, but would never marry him. The nature of our conversation was such that I was able to directly ask her if she would marry him.

Long, endless pause.

The slow and careful response I got was "had this been there instead of this...had this been different about him..." and so on. So I asked her in the most direct manner possible "Would you marry him now for what he is"? She said "No". She also added that despite the things missing in him, she did really feel a lot of love for him, but would not be able to reconcile living with those missing elements for a lifetime. Please note. The missing elements in the person were her concern...not the person himself.

When I asked her why she was with him, there wasn't much of a response. We spoke about what she wanted in a spouse and the qualities she listed were a far cry from the ones her boyfriend possessed. Yet, she insisted she felt love for him. So, what's the glue that keeps this couple together? For whatever time they are together...

First of all, I am not sure if this is love or whether she was in love with "the idea" of love and of being in a relationship. I could connect Arpita's statement about "loving" and "being in love" with this instance (although Arpita meant it differently). Loving a person should take all drawback into account. There was also a bit of taking for granted because the assumption was that his investment in the relationship is to the same extent as hers.

Coming to marriage, and love in a marriage, many times, I hear this statement "once you get married, this will change about you" or "you can get the fellow to change this about himself". I have often wondered how far this is possible. Where there is real love, I suppose, the individuals will automatically change a bit. To my mind, it happens only in fairy tales that a frog is kissed and turns into a prince. In real life, we might find that the frog after being kissed many times over, still remains much the frog. There have been elders who talk about the potential that women have to change someone. I don't think anyone change someone else. This also becomes scary because potential is intangible. It is vague and unrealized for the most part. The difference between what a person is and what he/she can potentially become is huge.

Sorry for the mindless ramble. If nothing made sense, please overlook.

It also occurs to me that we do not have a single male perspective on this topic. I am sure they would look at this differently. Did the men on the forum even open this topic and read through the pages? I wonder...

Originally posted by: snow007

hmm good post
aur sub apni jaga sahi hain
q k pyaar ka koi formula nahi hota sub ki defination according to there experiences hoti hai

acc to Anais Nin
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
aur yahn woh pyaar maar gia

acc to another scolar
"pyaar 2 type ka hota hai jaysay 2 bachon nay ek ek poda lagaya
ek apnay poday ko pnai dayta hai, khad aur sunlight ka poura kayal rahkta hai aur phir sakoon say soo jata hai, dosra bacha pnay poday ko pnai dayta hai, khad aur sunlight ka poura kayal rahkta hai aurjab hawa chalti hai tu us ko ja k apnay bazoon main chupa lata hai, kuch dino baad us ka poda extra care ki wajha say maar jata hai. pyaar bhi aysa hi hota hai har insan ko apni space chaya hoti hai, ap ki care bhi mager had say ziada nahi, ager ap had say ziada care karain tu bhi us ki zarorat pouri nahi hoti"
aur indira-rishi k case main bhi yahi howa
rishi k extra care ki wajha say indira ki basic need pori nahi ho rahi
tu pyaar mar gia.

according to my teacher
"pyar main humari sub say bari galti yah hoti hai k hum khtay hain mujay sirf apka pyar chiya, main ap ko pny haat ka chala bana k rukhon ga, ap koi kam nahi kia karain main hoon na, office ka kam hota rahy ga, baqi kal, main ap ko sari kushayn donga yah mari zimadari hai, ap ki sari prob aj say mari, main ap ka hamsah saat don gi, etc etc aur jab yah baad bad main ki jatai hai tu shadi divorce pay khatam hoti hai"
perfect example in that case

n 4 me as of now i go with this shayari

"Wo jis ne ibteda hi mein MUHUBBAT ki haden baandhin
Use maloom tha shayad K shiddat rog hoti hai
MUHUBBAT kia hai? Mat poocho,ise bas Raaz rehne do
Ye aisa lafz hai,Jis ki wazahat rog hoti hai"

and

alfaz k jhootay bndhan main
agraz k gehre pardon main
hr shakhs mohabat krta hai
halan k mohabat kuch b nahi
sb jhotay rishtay natay hn.
sb dil rakhnay ke batain hn.
kb kon kisi ka hota hai.
sb asli roop chupatay hain.
ehsas say khali log yahan.
lafzon k teer chalatay hn.
ik bar nzr me aa kr wo.
phr sari umer rulatay hn.
ye ishq-o-mohabat mehr-o-wfa.
sb rasmi rasmi batain hn.
hr shaks khudi ke masti me.
bs apni khatir jeeta hai.

i know kuch ziada hogia
mary friends ka kayal hai k main bolna strat kardo es topic pay tu din khatam ho jay bakwas khatam na hoo, jab k dor dor tak es type ki mohabat say wasta nahi para ab tak 😊

@bold: perfect. 👏

You know, I was also thinking of what we read and hear about love. Are our notions about love too influenced about what is fed to us through books and movies (and now, TV)? Is a Darcy or a Rishi purely a fictional creation? A fervent wish on our part? Or does this type of love really exist? You have quoted Faisal. I will quote a bit from Shakespeare's sonnet.

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;"

Originally posted by: Walden

Yaha to bhari barkham discussion ho rahi hain...which (due to my lack of experience 😭), I don't think I can add to much.

But I will say this- Why is it okay to leave/separate from a spouse (if circumstances change/love changes whatever) but not okay to do the same with your family (whom you did not even chose). Why is sticking around the family and providing for your nikamma ungrateful parivar okay and applaudable but if its your spouse, then the same rules don't apply. Why can't a husband be a wife's zimmedari? 😆 I am surprised Indira supported the woman client- I thought she would chide her for washing her hands of her zimmedari 🤣 A bit hypocritical if you ask me 😆

I also couldn't help overlook the irony and hilarity in two nikamma, jobless "lawyers" and the nikamma janta in the audience (who apparently has nothing else to do than be a spectator at this fake adalat) chiding others and each other for being nikamma 🤣🤣

Dia...same here. My limited understanding is because of zero first hand experience. All my thoughts and questions are based on vicarious experiences. Through friends and cousins.

@bold: Aur hum alag nikamme! 😆

Originally posted by: -dear10-

i think ki hitler ki adalat ka jo board laga hai usko hata ker ise laga dena chahiye 😆

dia for you board par likha hai vakeel m.com, L.L.B

chicken center 😆

Awesome! 🤣 🤣

Originally posted by: Earnshaw

Beautiful analysis of love,Kanan;no one could have written it better,👏👏👏.As for the questions that your words have raised,I would say,love will only change if it is conditioned,as is Indira's love for Rishi.But when one's love is unconditional,as Rishi's,love remains the same throughout,every season,every day.In fact,true love is when we stop finding faults in the one we love;true love is accepting the person as he/she is,not as one wants him/her to be.And Rishi has always loved Indira the way she is;he has always been true to his love.Whereas,Indira,I doubt,have even for once,loved Rishi unconditionally;and sometimes I feel she has accepted Rishi because he was the only choice she had.As I see it,Rishi is and will be always "in love" with Indira;and Indira has just loved Rishi.And there is a huge difference to be "in love",and to love.(well,this is what I have to say,and its an earnest request please,no hard feelings;its my opinion,which is made without trying to hurt any of the fan's feelings.)

@bold: I think I understand this, although I wonder if I am getting something wrong. Love for a reason, a season, and a lifetime..."being in love" would be for a reason or a season. 'Loving' would be more encompassing and would accommodate the flaws of the other.

Am I misunderstanding your point?

Wow such a beautiful love encyclopedia. It just proves that love doesn't have one definite meaning. Love has many definitions. But something very important to consider when it comes to love is the amount of love. A person's love for his or her life partner is not the same as a person's love for his or her mother and also not the same as love for his or her friends. Similarly person's love for his or her pet is not the same as person's love for his or her siblings. This is where the amount comes into play. They are all situations of love but the amount of love varies in each case. The amount of love also varies from person to person depending on his or her value system. The persons someone value the most or the least might be different from the person his or her friends value the most or least. I might value my mother the most while you might value your boyfriend the most. Depending on who one values/ cares for the most or least, the amount of love he or she gives changes. Generally people give the most love to the person they value/ care for the most and the least love to the person they value/ care for the least. But what generally happens might not be the same for all cases. Also the outlook of life of people who are in love are different from the outlook of life of people who have not fallen in love yet. Love has no definite age and one can basically fall in love at any age. Love is a broad topic/ concept with so many categories, phases and layers after all and is also a confusing thing sometimes. Also who one thinks as their first love might not be their first love since god might have chosen someone else as his or her first love and the person one thinks as their first love might just be a guide/ way to reach to his or her first love. Sometimes the road leading to his or her first love is long with many turns. A person meets many people along this road who are just there to help the person decide which turn he or she should take next to reach to his or her first love. Most times a person goes through this road without knowing where it will lead him or her to or it can be said to be his or her almost unconscious journey.

Hi I am Rupanjal and above are my views on love/ first love.

Originally posted by: AnkitalovesHD

Arrey NO NO! 🤣 Plz NOOO.

This reminds me of our chicken conspiracy theory. One thing that HD has managed to effectively do is leave us obsessed with chickens. 🤣 Chicken hi chicken.

@Radhika and Ankita: A very special thank you for writing in 😊 I really love it when people who do not normally post on my thread come over to share their thoughts. Makes me feel really good. Makes me also think about what kept you guys from commenting till now 🤔 It was a complete pleasure and I hope you see you people around more often.

Originally posted by: rupimon

Wow such a beautiful love encyclopedia. It just proves that love doesn't have one definite meaning. Love has many definitions. But something very important to consider when it comes to love is the amount of love. A person's love for his or her life partner is not the same as a person's love for his or her mother and also not the same as love for his or her friends. Similarly person's love for his or her pet is not the same as person's love for his or her siblings. This is where the amount comes into play. They are all situations of love but the amount of love varies in each case. The amount of love also varies from person to person depending on his or her value system. The persons someone value the most or the least might be different from the person his or her friends value the most or least. I might value my mother the most while you might value your boyfriend the most. Depending on who one values/ cares for the most or least, the amount of love he or she gives changes. Generally people give the most love to the person they value/ care for the most and the least love to the person they value/ care for the least. But what generally happens might not be the same for all cases. Also the outlook of life of people who are in love are different from the outlook of life of people who have not fallen in love yet. Love has no definite age and one can basically fall in love at any age. Love is a broad topic/ concept with so many categories, phases and layers after all and is also a confusing thing sometimes. Also who one thinks as their first love might not be their first love since god might have chosen someone else as his or her first love and the person one thinks as their first love might just be a guide/ way to reach to his or her first love. Sometimes the road leading to his or her first love is long with many turns. A person meets many people along this road who are just there to help the person decide which turn he or she should take next to reach to his or her first love. Most times a person goes through this road without knowing where it will lead him or her to or it can be said to be his or her almost unconscious journey.

Hi I am Rupanjal and above are my views on love/ first love.

Hi Rupanjal...those are some very well put down thoughts. Something that I have consistently struggled with in this thread. 😊

Thanks for writing in...is this your first post in the HD forum?