Parents aren't the first step of ladder of success

Originally posted by: Ridhi.

gr8 analysis surbhi but it doesnt applicable to every parent

First, let me start of by saying that I understand that you have your opinion and I don't quite agree with it but you have asked for responses so I give one and I mean no offence of course :)

Parents may be roots of a tree as Amitabh Bachan says but i doubt even he would have told Indira to stay back to take care of the family given the situation. Trees/foundation whatever you want to call it should be sound for the entire tree/structure to sustain over a period of time. I say sound. My parents have been extremely fair to me, have encouraged me and appreciated me all along the way so I think they are sound roots and everything I am is because of them. But they don't expect anything from me. I do things because I find myself wanting to take care of them. They tell me that they did not do me a favour by bringing me into this life , they did so because they wanted progeny and having done so, thought it is their duty to make sure I was adequately provided for, to develop skills to exist successfully. Now I am not saying that all parents should feel that way. I, on the other hand think think that I owe much to my parents because I am mostly what i am because of them and some also because i have been responsible for my individual thinking, my questioning of ideas and life, my thought la di la di da... so even though I am an extension of my parents, I am also an individual and I have my standards and expectations of the world that is independent of my parents. I was physically brought into this world and education paid for my my parents but how I have chosen to use that to carve myself as an individual is also my doing.

What I am trying to say is I do owe a lot to my parents and forever I am going to be there for them because I want to not because my role as a daughter demands it. Not all parents who bring children into this world treat them well so they don't by default become roots of a tree...Not all parents live up to be responsible and selfless and not all children grow up to be dutiful. No one is by definition anything... people are of various kinds and situations make them differently...there are always grey areas.

Indira has been taking care of her mother and family because she recognizes that her mother is her mother, has been through through tough times with her, had taught her to walk, talk ...but when there is no appreciation why should she continue it? Can you honestly say her mother has been fair to her all the time? If you have been a regular viewer you will have noticed that the mother is never appreciative of anything Indira does. She even holds her going to office to earn for the family against her. She is always supportive of her son and never of her daughter. She takes Indira for granted. I am not saying that if Indira lays dying, she will not be devastated.. i mean she has given birth to her and there will always be that connection..but she does not appreciate Indira and I think most people would agree with me.The love for the son is so deep rooted in our society that injustices against daughters and women generally is passed off as reality and perhaps never even noticed. Women who ask for recognition of rights are immediately looked down upon as ungrateful/greedy daughters etc etc. Indira has been doing her bit for the family, in fact everything and yet people never appreciate her. The son is useless- cant earn anything for the family..why cant the mother reduce the burden of Indira by cooking at home for people and asking her daughter in law and her son to contribute financially to the house? Why should it all be Indira's? So Indira is frustrated.. the tension and stress get to her... They dont just exist but they make life difficult for her...Yes, Indira owes it to her mother by your logic.. but what does she owe to her brother , his wife, and their son!? she does what she does because she cares for them and feels responsible...it is not their right nor is it her duty.. that's just my view...

I am sorry but I think to constantly tell a woman that in our culture she is selfless and kind hearted and big hearted is just plain regressive.. it is simply always telling women to give up on their needs for everyone else... to always be accomodative and make sacrifices.. why should we always put that extra burden on a woman to live for others always? and if she isnt then she isnt a woman at all... isnt she an individual? should he always be defined by her family? should she not have any self respect? should she not have a thought process? In my view though a woman who wants a man who walked out on her and her children when they needed him, for another woman, simply to satisfy certain carnal needs or may be even emotional, is not a big hearted woman. He abandoned his family... can you see Indira must have felt seeing her mother cry and pine for this man, who did not look back to see if they were even eating well..you talked about how the mother must have struggled to get her educated... do you think Indira hasnt seen that struggle of her mother and thats why despises her father and wants him out of the house? If Indira chooses to walk out now, why are we forgetting all that she has done for her family all these years? she gets branded selfish by this one act of walking especially when her mother was so harsh with her without justification.

you say "allow her to leave the family" We are individuals... we should be teaching her children free informed choices and not simply and blindly seek obedience from them... As an individual Indira has a choice and she is exercising it as and when she deems fit. All that education we provide our children is pointless if we do not exercise that in our own house... education is not simply to earn a living...Mother should not blindly support her children .. if she does then she is not a sound "root" or foundation. Instead of reprimanding her son for committing forgery , she just showed love to him and blamed Indira for not bringing him back... if you do not call this blind love, I don't know what it is...why should it hurt? he did wrong.. plain and simple... Indira did go to bail him out, lets not forget that but he was not regretful of his deed.. he thought it was his right over his father's money- a father who hasnt till date paid for anything and whose sole intention to come to their help has been to take over the property...

Whatever the reason, nothing justifies the unappreciative behaviour of the mother... she could have said its my house.. instead she added that no matter what you do , this will never be your house,...when I die, it will go to my son.. now does that make sense? is that fair? she could have made the point she made with its my house and my husband can come back and I would have put that down to her frustration without her husband but to pointedly say that she will write to her son spells plain partiality to me..

Sorry my post has been so scattered .. but I hope I get my view across.. I read this now and thought I had something to say. I also know its awfully long so do bear with me :)

Originally posted by: princess-mahum

well said n true... but when she lOves her husband so much after dat all wht had he done... then y she said those harsh words 2 her daughter who was wd her at every step..She isn't harsh ...actually she hates the way she talks and trust me she loves her...that's the reason indira's most of the orders are listened in the house ...its just that mothers like their children to grow in way that they can adjust in the world's atmosphere . She wants her to be positive about life . .! Mother's scolds their children but dat was too harsh we cant take in dat way like "there was her love even in those harsh words" 😊Sweetheart in those words there was respect and love for her father and sympathy for her son...Eventually i will say if i somehow , someday start treating my lil sis like this in the house , just because i earn...my mom love's will definately be more towards the poor sis...and not me...and that's justified ...mothers have to accept their children ...whatever they are...they love them...that is the reason kutumb loves munna ...She always take his side...so that he dont break with indira harsh words...well i am surprised u all noticed a mother's harsh words but no one made a post saying that sometimes even indira was harsh towards her bro...the way she treated rishi when munna come back...wasn't that harsh ?????...and common the boy is living outside the house for days...u say ...let your birthor and sister be kitna bhi nikamma ...will your mother allow u to throw him out of the house ... .......