unknowingly yours--a fan fic...

thnx ppl 4 ur response................hope u like it.......

FIRST GLANCE

she walked into platform 9 and3/4 and ppl stared.....her skirt was way shorter than the normal hogwart skool skirt length.....ppl stared at her....yet she looked straight.....

she looked as if she had just come down from heaven and she was servin some kind of penence by comin to earth......there was a certain wildness in her eyes....and lookin at her ppl cud see that she clearly spealt trouble in bold black letter...yet dey cud not look away.....she was beautiful...to beautiful....

wow.....she has beautiful grey eyes....

wat ???grey eyes r u blind???she has lovely blue eyes....

blue eyes????but her eyes r brown...the warmest brown i have ever seen...............

"she is gorgeous but who is she...she is way too old to be in the first grade then???"harry thot....

ron if u donot shut ur mouth then i am sure flies will get inside it....hermoine told him...............

at that moment that girl looked at him..at harry potter.....and den she lifted her head a smiled...smiled 4 the first time from her arrival at the station.....but she was not smiling at him..no not at harry...harry turned and saw......

draco malfoy standin there..with te hugest grin on his face..it was no a smirk like his usual smile...it was a genuine smile..a warm smile..a smile full of love and admiration...

suddenly a spark of anger shot through harry....it was not a feelin harry had ever felt.........it was jealousy...

thats cool 😛 😛
good start 👏

It sounds cool, but I have some advice for you.

1) You need to use punctuation and spelling correctly.

2) Add similes, metaphors, hyperboles, alliteration, etc. in your writing. It makes the story go by smoother.

3)Make your chapters a little longer, that way you can get more stuff in.

Update Soon! 😊

Originally posted by: PixieDust91

It sounds cool, but I have some advice for you.

1) You need to use punctuation and spelling correctly.

2) Add similes, metaphors, hyperboles, alliteration, etc. in your writing. It makes the story go by smoother.

3)Make your chapters a little longer, that way you can get more stuff in.

Update Soon! 😊

r u an english teacher😉but good advice😃

Sounds great! Hope you continue soon!! 😛

Originally posted by: goth princess

r u an english teacher😉but good advice😃

Lolz..no, i'm not an eglish teacher. I write lots of fanfics...thats all.