chapter 13
Kesar residence
Kesar walked inside with the heavy steps home his heart was shattered but he felt light as a huge burden was lifted off his shoulders''.. he took a deep breath and he opened the door Lights turned on. And everyone screamed "happy bday" It was kesar's birthday. There were about 20 people- family and friends- waiting for him to enter the house. Gulaal had gathered these people to greet him on his birthday. Complete with party hats, balloons, blow outs, noisemakers, confetti everyone greeted him with warm smile
''kesar squeezed a saint smile
Biji came forward and hugged him and said "janamdin mubarak ho kesar''pata hai subah se tayyari kar rahe the"
Kesar touched her feet and seek her blessing thanks biji'..though his soul was lost somewhere'''
Biji looked outside she asked kesar "gulaal kanha hai wooh tujhe lekar aane waali thi naa"
Kesar felt a sharp pain at his heart as he heard her name'''his cheeks were already tainted with tears he said in low voice biji wooh apne ghar mein hai" and looked away in other direction
Biji thought for a second "apne ghar? Par sab to yanha hai wooh kya kar rahi hai wanha par"
Keasr swallowed hard and said biji wooh
She brushed it off "acha shayad kuch kaam ho tu ek kaam kar jaa jakar kapde badal le tab tak gulaal bhi aati hogi mehemaan aane lage hai unko bhi to dekhna hoga"
Kesar tried to explain her but she pushed him a little "chal jaa naa"
He nodded his head ''''''Quietly he walked over and slowly opened the bedroom door. the rooms was filled with red roses. Red roses in pots. Red roses in vase everywhere in bunches a smile ran across his face as he looked at them'The scent of the perfect blooms tht filled the room lifted his mood''"gulaal" he thought'.. he looked at them with fondness he looked around and his gaze fell on the letter tht was lying on his desk'..kesar grew curious he went near the table and took the letter in his hand it was addressed to him! He sat on the bed and began to read
"Janamdin mubarak ho kesar'kitne dino baat mein tujhse baat kar rahi hun haina''..waise mujhe bhi kuch samajh nahi aa raha kya kahu'..tujhe ajeeb lag raha hoga naa yun achanak mein tujhse janamdin k badhaai de rahi hun'par tera janamdin mein mein tujhe mabarakbaad naa dun aisa kabhi ho sakta hai?.kesar' heart filled with joy reading it he smiled gently as he read it "rab kare is saal tujhe dher saari khuyisaan mile'dekho to kitne jaldi waqt beet gaya'...lagta hai jaise kal hi ki baat hai mera 15 saal ka natkhat shaitaan dekhte dekhte 23 saal ka ho gaya Pata hi nahi chala 'itna bada ho gaya ki teri khwaish tere khwab alag ho gaye'Pata hi nahi chala kab mere kesar ko cycle ki jagah bike chahiye thi kab tu dhoodh ki jaah chai ki zid karne laga''.. kab tu itna bada ho gaya ki tujhe saathi nahi balki ek humsafar chahiye tha'
he paused for a sec and read'"kesar meine tujhe bahoot dukh diye haina'tujhse kabhi khul kar baat nahi ki'hamesha tujhe alag rakha'shayad mein kamzor thi'..haan mein tujhe humare rishtey, is karewa ka sachai batana chahiti thi par darti thi ki kahin tu mujhe swarthy naa samajhe'kahin mein tujhe kho naa dun'. Kesar jab panchayat ne mujhe dushyant k saath karewa karne k liye majboor kar diya to mujhe apni izzat bachane ka aur koi raasta hi nahi dikha'charo taraf sirf andhera tha aur roshini k ek akhir umeed sirf tu tha jo meri raksha karta'mujhe sirf tu nazar aaya'''. aur meine bina kuch bhi bataya tujhe apne saath baandh liya'''..kesar yeah samaj aurat aur mard k liye alag alag niyam aur maryada tay karta hai agar tu aage chal kar kisi aur ko apni zindagi mein shamil kar leta to yeah samaj tujhse kuch nahi kehta par mere liye'''mere liye to sirf ek yahi mauka tha isliye bina kuch kahe itna bada faisla le liya''galat kiya naa kesar tujhse mujhe puchana chahiye tha itna bada faisla karne se pehle tujhse izaazat leni chahiye thi'..his heart torn into pieces reading it would she ever needed it ?
par mein kya karti kesar'''meine tujhe kabhi apne aap se alag samjha hi nahi'''.hamesha tujh par apna haq samajhti rahi us waqt bhi mera haq tha tujhpar''' tera haq tha mujhe bachana agar tu mujhe nahi bachata to aur kaun bachata yeah mera haq tha..par rab janta hai kesar mein kabhi tujhe is rishtey mein bandh kar nahi rakha'.mein nahi chahiti tu is rishtey k neeche ghut jaaye mein tujh par koi dabav nahi dalna chahiti aur isliye meine apna saaya bhi tujh par padne nahi diya'''.kesar agar tu kisi aur ko apni patni bana kar le aata to khushi khushi use sweekar kar leti agar mujhse naaraz ho kar mujhe apne ghar se nikal deta to bhi tune itne saal jo mujhe teri chaddar k neeche apni izzat bachane ka muka mila uski liye tujhe zindagi bhar duaye deti''.. par mujhe nahi pata that dukh teri zid teri junoon k wajah mein ban jaungi'.jo kuch bhi hua usme teri galti nahi thi dosh mera tha''''.jo kuch bhi hua uski jimmedar mein tha wooh faisla mera tha to jimmedari bi meri hui naa''us raat jo kuch bhi hua wooh bhi meri wajah se''a tear escaped from his eyes as he read it how could she think herself responsible for tht?''haan mein naraz thi tujhse tune mujhe bahoot chot pahunchayi hai'bahoot takleef di hai socha tha tujhse kabhi baat nahi karungi'..par nahi kar paayi '' itna sab hone k baad bhi mein tujhse nafrat nahi kar paayi kesar'pata nahi kyu teri khamoshi mujhe tere junoon se jyada takleef di'"'''she paused little bit
flashback morning kesar's residence
gulaal paused a bit her hands stopped and she gazed at his pics y was she so helpess tht she couldn't stay away from him'.y she couldn't stop herself from taking care of him taking care of his petty things'though their relationship was pretty much messed up but nothing changed''' though She had no expectations whatsoever, but she couldn't ignore the fact that she still cared for him and wanted to him to be happy his sadness filled her heart with immense sorrow her heart bled with His suffering His pain and torture was her pain and torture. his faint smile brimmed her eyes with tears''.yes she was angry with him she grew cold and distant' she remained stiffened building impenetrable wall around her heart''.. shielding away from him '. But little did she knew she would became prisoner of her heart in the process'.. all those days she completely shut herself from him'.it seemed their relationship was destined to unease and stain'.
.but then dunno wen and how her heart stirred for him
maybe tht day wen her heart dared hope
flashback
few months ago
kesar residence
biji was sitting in her room in darkness she was holding vasant pics looking back at her past life tht was filled with bliss, joy, and happiness''how the past years of pleasures and delight faded into the gloomy colors of despair'the present mocked her with its hollowness'.everything was surrounded in melancholy and sadness'''. buried in her own sorrowful contemplations she closed her eyes in despair''suddenly a pair of soft hands extended from behind and embraced her with a warm shawl'''biji looked behind kesar was standing behind her with sincere look in his eyes'he step forward and sat near her feet''
he looked in her eyes and said in soft voice "biji aap andhere mein kyu beithe hain"
biji squeezed a faint smile "kesar bas aadat hai aise beithne ki''.. tu bata kuch kaam tha kya"
kesar looked at her tears raised in his eyes he move ahead and buried his head in her lap he was shattered he said "biji mere hote hue aap itne dino tak unhi akele andhere mein beithe rahi'.vasantveerji hote to aapko kabhi yun udhaas nahi hone dete naa'.."
biji nodded her head in denial she said "kaise baatein kar raha hai'.."
he hung his head in shame and said "mein bahoot bura huna kabhi bhi aapke baarein mein nahi socha bas sirf apne baarein mein sochta raha'."
He looked in her eyes and said earnestly "bas ek mauka dijeye biji, dekhna aapko rab se kabhi shikayat nahi hogi ki usne aapko do bete kyu diye''" the tears felled down his cheeks and said "bas ek mauka de dijeye''."
Biji was in tears so choked with emotion that she couldn't speak. She nodded her head. wrapped him in her arms...and cried''..
The tears sprang from gulaal;s eyes too who was listening their conversation quietly outside the room'. Even she didn't knew wat emotions she had for him but something inside her shifted, his gesture stirred something to life inside her'something she couldn't decipher''
Gulaal came out of the reverie she looked at herself and smiled ofcourse her heart was saddened by tht incident her soul was filled with sorrow'.she was hurt but slowly the hurt was replaced by the deeper sense of loss''. sense of losing her soulmate her friend'.deep somewhere her soul was overwhelmed with the loss of her companion''.she was living in the silence and gloominess she never knew wen her heart carved for the dire need of wanting'..
Even she didn't knew wen she felt so deep for him'..Maybe tht day wen he stood infront of her making her feel protected
Few months back
Midnight Kesar's factory sanaur Punjab
Kesar and gulaal reached the factory in haste..there was chaos hustle bustle the factory workers gathered in the around the factory and everyone was agiatated'.kesar and gulaal quickly went inside the factory some of factory workers had caught dushyant and his goons who were trying to burn the factory
Kesar threw a angry glance at dushyant and asked "kunal kya hua tha yanha par?"
Kunal looked at dushyant in rage and said "kesar yeah dushyant humari factory mein aag laga lagane ki koshish kar raha tha'.humne ise apne factory se nikal diya to yeah badla le raha tha wooh to humare workers ne ise dekh liya warna aaj naa jaane kya ho jaata"
Kesar and gulaal looked at dushyant in disbelief
The factory workers shouted in anger "kesar veerji isko humare haawale kar dijeye isne humare factory mein bahoot gadbad failayi hai ise humare hawale kar dijeye"
Kesar raised his hand to calm the workers "is sab k jarurat nahi hai yeah kaam police ka hai unhe karne dijeye'he then looked at kunal and said kunal police ka phone karo"
Dushyant face trembled in fear he panicked and fell in his feet "kesar menu maaf kar de dekh mein paise k lalach mein andha ho gaya tha dekh mein tera bada bhai hun is rishtey ka kuch to khayal kar"
Kesar looked at him and said in anger "veerji aapne mere saath jo kiya uske liye meine aapko maaf kar diya hai par mere vasant veerji k factory aur in workers ka jo aapne nuksaan pahunchaya hau uske liye aapko maaf nahi kar sakta..kunal phone lagao police ko'''"
Kunal nodded his head and dialled police station;s number to call him
Dushant was filled with rage and anger he looked at gulaal and roared "yeah sab tere wajah se hua hai gulaal'.tune bahoot nuksaan pahuchaya hai mera, ek baar jail se nikalene de phir dekhna kya halat karta h uteri"
Before he could complete his sentence he felt the world revolving beneath his feet'..kesar punched him so hard tht he fell on the ground'he looked above and saw keasr looking at him in anger he was maddened with rage his anger reached the crescendo'.he growled "how dare u'how dare u say anything to her" dushyant was hell scared he began to shake, and blood began to ooze out of his nose he stood up but kesar was franactic he punched him few times he punched him at stomach and kicked him in the face .he beat the hell out of him breaking his jaws and legs in several place he dragged him outside the factory and pushed him with all his might, the fight was dangerous and kesar was unstoppable '.gulaal was scared''.hell scared she ran outside
She tried to stop him and called out his name kesar chod de''."
Before she could complete her sentence kesar looked back at her in anger,,,the tremendous passion he had for her'spoke through his eyes'..before she could say anything he signaled her with his hand authoratively to stop nodding his head in denial'not to say a single word 'the gaze tht was enough to send chill across her body her feet froze then and there'her body was shaking with the gaze he threw at her possessivness and obsession crossed its limits and he turned back and continue to unleash his anger on dushyant
Kunal reached the spot he and other workers tried to stop him but kesar was unstoppable'he beat the hell out of him.in haste kunal rushed to gulaal and said "parjaiji rokiye naa kesar ko paagal ho gaya hai"
Gulaal looked at him and nodded her head in denial
Instead of being annoyed she felt strangely touched at the protective hold he had on her'..though she never needed his protection but who was there to offer her protection the feeling of being protected swept through her and her ego swelled with pride
Kesar was wild almost mad he clutched at his collar, tore it loose. His jaw tightened, and his lips, half open, quivered away from his teeth. He roared dushyant agar aaj k baad tune meri patni k taraf aankh utha kar bhi dekha to tere tukde bhi nahi milenge''..yaad rakhna dushyant meri gulaal k taraf dekha bhi to tujhe jaan se maar dunga''..pushing him away dushyant fell on the ground unconscious'.
The crowd looked at him with parted mouth everyone was scared'.kesar looked at gulaal passionately gulaal was clueless''..he then lowered his eyelids he tried to catch his breath he walked to the near distance grab a water bottle opened it splashed water over his face and let it pour down over him. While gulaal kept looking at him awestruck''''..
gulaal recalled the stir of the encounter. Wat a moment of passion it was''''.his passion the swept over her like a hurricane on the ocean surface'.his passionate gaze tht burned her whole existence'.the passion tht she felt tht night''.. the memories tht led to the confused emotions trembling deep inside her,,,,there has been a certain amount of pain along with much conflict and something else too'..the something tht she was scared of..for it was more deeper tht she had ever thought'..
flashback
few months ago
sanuar Punjab
village temple
kesar stopped the car outside the temple dedicated to goddess durga gulaal biji and kesar came out of the car
biji said to kesar "kesar meine teri safalta k liye mannat maangi thi devi maa ne meri maanat pori kar di'..chal devi maa ka ashirwaad le lete hai"
kesar nodded his head and said aap "chalo biji mein Prasad lekar aata hun"
leaving gulaal and biji on the stairs he went to purchase the parsad from the nearby shop
biji looked at gulaal and said "gulaal hum chalte hain kesar aata hi hoga"
gulaal nodded her head and they began to climb the stairs of the temple''the stairs were wet, and covered with slimy and slippery green algae
glaal was climbing the stairs quickly suddenly her leg slipped she lost her balance before she fell the two strongs arms grabbed her from behind securely her in his warm hug'.. her fingers interlocked with his in confusion she looked above and saw him gazing at her'eyes so deep and honest...she looked deep in his eyes...the eyes tht holded passion for her...the same passion tht she felt tht tht night wen he had stared deep into her eyes, exploring her whole being through his eyes... his eyes tht had burned her body through his gaze as she looked deep her heartbeat skipped a beat she felt something happening deep inside her heart, felt a heat stirring through her'..His touch sent a wave of thrill shivering through her''. He slanted a glance at her but just as quick as their gazes met, he looked away again. He remove his hand and walked away leaving her shaking and nervous she was confused 'y was she thinking about him above all y was she thinking about tht night and tht too in the sensous way?'.her mind reeled in desparation
she stood there in utter confusion
biji broke her trance and called her out gulaal tu wanha kyu khadi hai chal der ho rahi hai
gulaal looked at biji and nodded her head she gasped and climbed upstairs..on reaching the temple gulal stood before the idol of goddess durga she closed her eyes and prayed to goddess but only the memories of past hurried in her mind the way he secure her in his warm hug flashed in her mind'''She tried to shut out his image, to secure her mind and heart against him. But in vain the same images were still present with her,unbroken she couldn't take him out of her mind'his touch tormented her'..for heaven sake it was temple and she was standing before a diety how could she think like tht? she cursed herself for being so imprudent she opened her eyes in horror and turned back in desperation and saw him standing behind her'.his eyes were closed he folded his hand in prayer he was praying to god his face was calm and serene..he stood calm and composed while she was in distress she felt as if storm passed on her a single tears formed in her eyes as she gazed him'.in helplessness she ran away as fast as she could she rushed to the car and cried''''.
Next morning gulaal completed her daily pooja rituals and then she started spreading the camphor smoke in all corner'she turned around and saw kesar had returned from his morning jog wearing his track pants and black vest''..he looked at her he was startled for a min and then he lowered his eyelid and started to walk away'.
Gulaal looked at him with increased breath she called him from behind "Prasad"
He stopped and looked back
Gulaal hesisted a bit and then she extended some Prasad to him with a faint hope tht he might ask her to fed him as he use to do earlier''.but he didn't said anything he lowered his gaze and extended his hand
Gulaal was disappointed but she took a deep breath and gave him the Prasad and then she moved ahead spreading the camphor smoke in rest corner of the house
Kesar was heading towards the his room but biji stopped in between
He asked kya hua biji kuch kaam tha
And they were engaged in conversation gulaal looked back her gaze fell on his tanned sunkissed body...somehow she didnt felt strange their was a sense of belonginess there...she felt captivated... she had felt the heat of the body tht night'she stared deep as longer she stared at him the more the her heart stirred impassionately it fluttered and stretched itself into heart beating sentiments 'she tried to look away but her gaze returned the sweat ran down his body caused her to gasp she dragged her gaze from the forearms to his lips''..the lips tht had pierced her before the lips tht had captured mercilessly...she looked at it with increased breath'..she clenched her eyes shut and looked away for god sake she didn't wanted to think in this way y her heart was had this wild desparate ache?''.in desperation she walked outside the balcony to breath some fresh air'''.
It was a struggle but she managed to pass the day without allowing him to take over her thoughts.
With quick and dexterous hands she was working in the kitchen suddenly her feet sting with pain'she grimaced in pain "aah"
Kesar was sitting in the living room he rushed to the kitchen
Preeto made gulaal sit on the dinning chair she asked "ki hoya parjaiji?"
Gulaal said shivering in pain "lagta hai bichiya (toe ring) k wajah se dard hai"
Preeto looked at her toes they were reddened and swollen coz of toe ring she said "haaye rabba yeah to sujan aa gayi hai prajaiji ek kaam karo yeah bichiya uttar do"
Gulaal looked at her and said in fury "paagal ho gayi hai tenu pata hai yeah bichiya hai kitna shubh hota hai suhaag ki nishani hai mein nahi nikalungi" pointed at her toe ring the ring tht dhaani had gifted her explaining the importance of this auspicious jewellery
Preeto said "par yeah takleef de raha hai"
Gulaal replied angrily "to kya hua chahe kitni bhi takleef kyu naa ho mein yeah nahi nikalogi ek patni kabhi bhi apni pati k yeah nishani nahi nikalti samjhi ab jaa yanha se''
She said in rage wait a sec did she said wife? Wen she became his wife she wondered'.she was restless she heart hammered at the word "wife"
Kesar was standing outside the kitchen he heard their conversation his heart was saddened the tears brimmed in his eyes ''..he wipe it off and went away''''
At night
Gulaal was lying in her bed the image of him was still intact in her mind she tossed and turned trying harder not to think about him and finally fall asleep'''as she slept. in her dreams she felt his breath on her face she felt him grazing with her lips her arms her body her heart beat accelerated rapidly her senses felt so stretched, so sensitive, that it sent shivers of desire through her body.the images of tht night flashed in her mind how he had crushed her in his arms how he had kissed her deeply and madly how vigourously he had made love to her her whole body ached with desire her soul and mind were at fire she felt him near her her breath bated with his essence throwing her into ecstasies she clenched to her pillow her body arched and she sigh in pleasure''''..
Suddenly gulaal came out of her trance'''' her body shook with a chill, and sweat broke out all over her body. her mouth parted in horror her heart beat increased she fought to catch her breath'she was shocked at herself''.how could she stoop so low the tears rose in her eyes and ran down her cheeks she was broken she felt disgusted of herself how could she degrade herself she loathed herself she cried aloud and burried herself in pillow..
suddenly she heard his footsteps outside her room'''gulaal was nervous''.she close her eyes in fear
Edited by arti07 - 12 years ago
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Mangal Lakshmi
