Vasant's death had been a huge blow to them all and Kesar may have suffered the most.Even before she could properly mourn her beloved son's death, she had to come to terms with Gulaal's decision to go through the ritual of DV with Kesar,her 12 year old son.Though at first she had been disgusted and angered by this,slowly she started to realize the sacrifice hidden in her Daughter-in-law's decision.She never once thought of herself or her future.Her love for Vasant and her concern for his family especially Kesar overwhelmed her.As a woman she could understand her young DIL's courage and pain but as a mother she still held that grudge against her.
She could empathise with Kesar's feelings.yes,she had been shocked to hear him say that he was in love in Gulaal but didn't she always know it?yes...she did,she knew it when he came in drunk on Holi and insisted on Gulaal serving him food because she was his wife,she knew it when he cried himself to sleep in her lap muttering Gulaal's name and saying how could his Gulaal slap him?She always knew but then when he was sent off to Hostel she thought that the problem was taken care of.Now she realized that she underestimated her son's feelings.To everyone else the DV was just a ritual in name but for her son it was the biggest truth of his life.Gulaal was his wife and so how could it be wrong for him to love his wife?
Panba knew Kesar needed her support and guidance now and even if she couldn't help him out she could at least be there for him.
Panba decided to bring him his dinner.Kesar had not eaten anything since Gulaal's hasty departure yesterday and he had not come out of his room the whole day.She saw him sitting on the ground in deep thought,silent tears streaming down on his face.She came near him and sat down beside him.She looked at her son,the pain in his eyes made him look far more mature than his years.She ruffled his hair lovingly and called out "Kesar...beta".Kesar turned around in a daze and slowly blinking his eyes silently hugged his mother.For the first time in a long time she felt needed but it did not comfort her in the slightest instead it hurt her beyond reason to see her baby in pain."No", she decided determinedly..."I need to be strong.For once I need to his mother and be there for him".She comforted him,let him cry patting his back and slowly held him back.She wipes away his tears and then slowly speaks "beta,kuch khaa le.Tu ne kal se kuch bhi nahi khaya...kha le beta".Kesar silently refuses to eat,taking the plate away from his mother and keeping it aside.
PB: Kesar I understand your pain, your distress and your turmoil son,but you need to understand mine too,I can't see you like this,How can you expect me to eat when you have refused to put anything in your mouth from last 24 hours'.
Kesar:(with resigned sigh! putting his head in PB's lap) Ba I am sorry I have been really selfish in past few days,please forgive me,I am trying to find answers to my questions that have been bugging me and I have been so focused in searching for these that I have become oblivious to my near ones sufferings'.
PB: Kesar I know what's bothering you son, and let me make something very clear, you are not wrong to feel the way you feel, Yes I accept that loving and caring for someone is not something that you can control it happens naturally, You are not wrong to harbour love for Gulaal what is wrong is to expect the same in return, to anticipate that she will also feel the same way about you, For her Vasant was her past and he is her present, She has never seen or accepted anyone in that place,If you want to be part of her future you need to rise above this expectations,put her first,put her needs first,understand her heart and way to her happiness,rise beyond your wants and embrace her choice, love doesn't teach you to be selfish son,pyaar sharto pe nahi hota Kesar,aur agar hota hai to woh pyaar nahi hai'..
Kesar: Ba why does age matter in love? if a man falls in love with a woman who is 10 years younger than him,the society doesn't have a problem, why is that more acceptable?but when the same is reversed and a guy falls in love with a woman 10 years older than him,the society disapproves,isn't this hypocrisy?
PB: Kesar this is the way of society, we cannot change outlook of the society but that doesn't mean we have to live by the norm, MB and I are together because we did not believe in this norm and that's why I would advise you not to give up but keep trying to win her over, You have to make place in her heart and all these rules, society, ageism will come crashing down, it's her that you need to win over we need not fight with the society and their ideology nor do we redefine the way world looks at older woman and young man relationship, I am with you and will always be, my son you need to understand one thing that when a woman loves a man she gives herself completely to that love, totally encompasses herself for and within the boundary of her man's world she will always find it difficult to move out of that enclosed world, her world, the boundary that she binds herself in is something she will not cross within the proximity of this life and to gain insight into this world you have to be that guiding light that will not only penetrate this strong boundary but will also make her follow it outside her world,It's called journey to woman's heart ,the day you are able to successfully take it you will find answers to all your question'.
Panba then goes on to take the food she had brought and slowly feeds Kesar,who now had a small smile on his face.He looked a lot less restless and Panba could feel the tears threaten to overwhelm her when he proceeded to feed her from the plate.When she looked at him questioningly,Kesar replied "ba,aap ne bhi kuch nahi khaya na.mujhe maaf kar dijiye ba,main kamzor pad gaya tha lekin aap ki baaton ne mujhe honsla diya hai,ek umeed di hai.shaayad ab bhi kuch nahi bigda..."
Panba looked at Kesar with a genuine pride.Kesar was so different from Vasant yet they were so similar, both were honest and loyal to the core.Kesar might have different and sometimes less than desirable ways to show his concern and love but she knew that he was still learning and was sure that a day would come when Kesar would prove himself worthy of being Gulaal's life-partner in every sense...and who knows maybe Gulaal will fall in love with him...after all how long will she be able to resist her charming son?-Panba thought as Kesar made her eat a bite of roti and dal,concentration etched on his face...
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