**Neil Bhatt/Kesar Appreciation Thread** - Page 28

10-11,Aug,2011: Neil's best: Kesar Gulaal's Grihapravesh

There was an authority as Kesar tells Gulaal that they can indeed leave home when she resists. He used his cards too saying he is taking this decision and makes a final call being her husband. Gulaal who had put up a firm resistance with her father just calms down when Kesar says "They are leaving" and not Her Alone. Gulaal has been too used to this home that she calls it her world. But today she put up the least resistance because with Kesar by her side, she is willing to take on the world. Subconsciously she has come to accept Kesar; it is just about time the realization sets in.

Kesar arguing with Talli was like how little ones are told off. I was shocked when Talli said she would be where they are. Thankfully Kesar was smart enough. Kesar accepts Talli's help since he had to find a place to keep Gulaal safe, now that she is his responsibility. Kesar and Gulaal have packed their bags to leave home. The scene was poignant when they seek Motaba's blessing. When Kesar sees that Motaba does not bless them, he glances at Gulaal. I feet Kesar was more worried about how Gulaal would feel more than feeling hurt himself for his dad's behavior. The other two women of the household, the less said is better.

Seeing Talli cry for Gulaal, Kesar does feel sad. When Talli requests him to take care of Gulaal, he has mixed feelings seeing Talli sad, her concern and of course he need not be told about caring for Gulaal but overall he looked depressed too, more for the situation that Gulaal is facing.

Kesar is surprised seeing Gulaal going back to Motaba and crying at his feet. He could not see Gulaal undergoing more pain and heartache that he literally picks her up and drags her along with him. That scene was so sweetly done. It looked like he picked up a tantrum throwing child and dragged her along to divert the child's attention. When Gulaal was still turning back to Motaba, he literally held her face and tried to explain that there was nobody in this house that they could call their own. Gulaal was still crying when he finally took her by the hand and walked away from the house.

The scene where Kesar support Gulaal as she falters on her steps was significant to show that Kesar would always be there for her as a constant support at each step in their life together to be her anchor in life. The seemingly breathtaking moonlight silhouette photography needs a special mention. That was scenic. Another significant moment of the scene was Kesar and Gulaal's "grihapravesh" into their newfound home. This ritual never happened between Gulaal and Vasant, thanks to the snake that bit chotu Kesuda and to Kesuda who had screamed out loud before passing out. Knowingly or unknowingly through him, destiny had set a future for them. I loved the symbolism when Kesar switched on the lights in the dark, Kesar being instrumental to bring light to the presently dark chapter in her life and into their lives.

Kesar's "My God" look was cute when he realized what amount of effort they need to put to clear up the house and make it habitable. To bring a smile to her face, Kesar tried some tricks. He said he knew what she was thinking yet indirectly telling her what she SHOULD be thinking seeing the room. This was sort of demanding attention and diverting her thoughts which he very well knew about. He demands that she start clearing up the mess. Gulaal was for a moment surprised if he really asked her to start working because knowing him, he would never openly demand any such thing from her. When he said about cleaning the room being below his dignity being a boy, she was partly convinced and set to work. But Kesar, being his sweet self, treats her like a queen and makes her rest while he toiled at work. He quashes her resistance, admits that he was babbling nonsense only to make her smile, and chides her for not utilizing the opportunity to make him work.

Knowing her attitude too well, he draws a circumference around her and also tells her to stay within that with a "meri kasam" to avoid further argument. I also like that dialogue that he could work like this only in front of her and in front of others they would poke fun. It reminded me of the dialogue in KKHH where SRK says that a guy bows down in front of three women, Goddess, One's own mom and then his wife. In front of her, he can be just Kesar with no ego hassles, and just be himself.

The coughing in the dusty atmosphere appeared natural when compared to the forced sneezing that most of the shows opt for. I had mentioned earlier to someone I know, that Kesar folding the blanket in his room would have been in sync with the fact that Kesar lived in hostel. But today I am convinced with Kesar's argument to Gulaal that he used to do all this work in hostel but he had pampered himself after coming home.

Gulaal allowed herself a quick nap even as Kesar worked. Kesar allowed himself the liberty to wake her up as he sat down exhausted and tired. The way he leaned onto the chair literally dragging the chair along as he settled to the ground, and in the process waking Gulaal was done naturally. He doesn't say sorry for it, she doesn't mind it too and does not apologize for dozing off. And again, he squeezes himself between the chair and the teapoy as he leaned over it for a backrest after an exhaustive cleaning schedule.

Kesar is the man who takes full authority over Gulaal and goes ahead to leave home in the middle of the night. Yet he demands her approval of his work like a small child asking her "Dekhna maine kaise kaam kiya hai, accha kiya hai na?" He needs Gulaal's reassurance and support in such small matters, her support can make him do wonders, but her approval is a must.

Kesar unknowingly shares his intention to work without depending on his family. That surprises and moves Gulaal. She feels guilty that he has to do all this because of her but Kesar very sweetly reminds her that it is a test that they have to take together and succeed too. He was caressing her hand and reassuring her with a soft yet firm hold. There was an effortless chemistry between the two as Kesar held Gulaal's hand reassuring her that they should win the test, together, hand in hand.

I love the way Kesar volunteers to stay back the minute Gulaal shares her fears with him. Gulaal has become so emotionally dependant on him because in this hour of need he has given her strength by showing his support and placing his trust on her. It is not the actual darkness but the thought of being left alone even for a short time. It is the solitude that bothered her. In his presence, it did not matter. She did not go about with her guilt in making him go hungry; rather she exerted her rights over him by requesting to stay back though she knew he can't bear hunger. Tonight she does not want to be left alone without having Kesar along with her even for a short time. Imagine that madam Gulaal is not even thinking what will happen to her if and when her Deeyarvatu breaks.

I like the body language of Kesar after this request from her. He assures her that he is not leaving, tries to save her the guilt and says he is not really hungry. After saying"mein yahin hoon, tu baith, he stands there for a minute, glances at her probably he felt sorry for how she felt in this new atmosphere, or may be also worried after hearing such fears from Gulaal who had once driven away his fear of darkness, he took a longer time until she settled on the chair after which he found his way to the nearing chair, sat down, once again glanced at her and fell asleep.

The next day morning, Gulaal has taken over the cleaning job without disturbing him. The previous night he gave her some rest as he did the cleaning, the next day morning she has allowed him to rest and took over the cleaning job. I love the equality that they share, very much needed in a couple's relationship. Kesar wakes up, finds Gulaal clearing the kitchen, and appreciates her for setting the entire kitchen. I specifically like the screen-play where Kesar reaches the kitchen and instead of just talking to Gulaal, he picks one of the vessels and hands it over to her for wiping the moisture. It was in sync with the way Kesar's character is. He has to be of help to her however trivial an issue it may be.

I like Kesar's thought process. He readily agrees to take Talli's help in offering her house to stay because he knows she supports them and cares for their welfare and secondly he needed a safe stay for Gulaal in the middle of the night. He take her offer of help willingly more so because he knows that Talli supports them and disapproves other's behavior towards Gulaal, whereas he is unwilling to take a penny from his father and has his own self respect when he says he would work and earn for a living for him and Gulaal. He does not approach Kunal but when help comes from his side, Kesar has no ego issues with Kunal and readily accepts his help, again, due to his responsibility towards Gulaal that he wastes no time and goes with Kunal immediately.

Before starting with Kesar and Gulaal, I would like to say though I was impatient about the absence of K and G in the start; I did enjoy the confrontation between Giga kaka and his useless son. It was nice to see Pankaj Tripathi aka Giga Kaka's performance. He had his share of performance in the show which was superbly done.

Waiting up on Kesar

Gulaal was absolutely in the wifey mode waiting up at the entrance for her husband to return from work. She looked pretty happy in this settlement with him and there was no gloom on her face that I feared. She has quickly adapted to her new environment in this new house with Kesar.

Kesar makes a grand entry on his bicycle. I must say I have watched Neil''s grand entry in his jeep in Karol Bagh, and then his grand entry fighting the men in Gulaal and later Kesar had his own style when he rode his bike marked with his initials "K". Today's entry of Kesar on his bicycle had its own grandeur. I may be biased since I root for Neil as an actor, but it is not an exaggeration when I say that Kesar rode into his home on his bicycle in style.

Gulaal's spirits were high as she saw Kesar and it did bring a smile to her face. Kesar was highly excited as he reached home. He calls out to Gulaal excitedly with a 'Dekh Gulaal" and informed very proudly that he has brought everything within his understanding of grocery shopping, very calmly yet happily announces that he found a job when she enquired about the bicycle. He shared the difficulty he went through in finding a job in the village, credited Kunal for his new job and detailed out in excitement about his new job, of what he has to be doing, that he needs to commute for taking orders for the saree business, and hence the factory has given him the bicycle to aid his work. And in spite of the long and exhaustive day that he had, he is as eager like how he was in the morning with enthusiasm brimming over that he happily invites her in to make the dinner arrangement.

The Chulha scene

Gulaal was busy getting ready with the dinner. Kesar has freshened up and comes over to see Gulaal struggling to light the fire due to the use wet logs. He smiles seeing her from a distance but quickly gets worried seeing her struggle. Kesar walks in to help her out with the problem and gets sentimental saying he can't see her in tears. Gulaal tried to explain that she wasn't crying but it was the smoke from the chulha that caused her to tear up and not to bother himself. When she says it is not within his capability he takes it up as a challenge, reminds her how he did the cleaning last night, boasts that there isn't anything in this world that he cannot do and forcibly attempts to light the chulha. He tries once, a second time too and he tries to keep up her patience by saying " hoga, dekh abhi dekh". I love the way she allows him to attempt it and responds with "Hmm'" When he goes into the coughing mode, it was really funny the way she took out that sweet revenge on him by asking "Bhuj gaya?"as if she was more concerned for the doused fire. Kesar was still struggling with his coughing up when she goes to fetch a glass of water for him though she did not waste an opportunity to mock him by saying she believed he would do it seeing his enthusiasm and self confidence just like how he did the cleaning similar to his hostel days. Gulaal reminded me of the perfect and typical wife who does not forget anything that a husband would have mentioned to her once and stored it for future references to get back at the husband in case the situation demanded.

Kesar's body language and the way he hits his chest once suggested he was in no mood for this sermon from her when he was suffering like this. Very sweetly she gets the water for him and rubs his back to help him ease his coughing. Kesar and Gulaal have very conveniently got accustomed to each other's physical proximity. This time Kesar became consciously aware of her gesture because he was too overwhelmed by what she did. He had always wanted that attention from him since he was young. When she gave that care that he once demanded from her and she refused to give citing "his desire" for her as a wife, he was too overwhelmed. The brief glance that they shared was very informative. No dialogues between them but it showed Kesar's love, his pain, his gratitude for the simple love she showered him with hope in his eyes whereas Gulaal acknowledged his unsaid words, she realized the momentary closeness that they shared. Both of them are aware of the momentary awkwardness but both of them let it pass and got back to what they were doing.

Kesar challenges her saying he would have to go to bed hungry and we could see Gulaal taking it up saying dinner would be made provided he does not distract her by adding up little troubles under the pretext of helping her. When she wards him off to be seated quietly away from her, he is first surprised that she is actually asking him to leave, plain unhappy for being labeled as trouble-maker, irritated at being forced to obey her order and leaves her sulking with a " karo apna kaam". When he does sit far away from her, all he can do is still look at her lovingly , I would say with painful love and probably recollecting what just passed between them. Gulaal on the other hand manages to light the fire and very sweetly says " Jal gaya", very proud that finally she has managed to light the fire without his help. Now do we take an underlying meaning to it for the ignited passion between them?

First Dinner in their new home

When Gulaal brings in the plate for his dinner, he is too happy that finally they are having dinner. Poor guy has been hungry along with her since last night. He asks about her plate. When she says she would eat later after he finishes, Kesar has a ray of hope. Kesar feels she is treating him like a husband in the real sense like in traditional households. A smiling Kesar has momentary happiness when he says 'Tu toh mujhe sach mei pati ki tarah hi" and trails off in his sentence. Somewhere in his heart though he believes it can't be possible, he yearns for her love in entirety and for a complete relationship like a husband and wife. They do share a brief exchange of glance there, his eyes so full of hope.

That long glance at her almost has a varied shift of expressions that seek answers from her to his questions "1)Is it really the reason for eating later, 2)can't I have this expectation and when she just lowers her eyes 3)he has this slight disappointment. Gulaal does not get intimidated by what he said but he senses her slight unease, but does not cut off the conversation but goes on to say that she need to do all this and that he is not old fashioned in his thinking. She puts a full stop to his hopes when she says that she had brought in one plate since only one plate was available. Yet we can see Kesar voicing out thoughts saying " Accha, mujhe laga ki'" and still they both exchange glances at each other. When he realizes that it was not out her acceptance of him as her husband even if temporary, he still tries to cherish the moment with some exclusiveness in the form of sharing the plate for once. Kesar can be happy with that small exclusive moment with her and he can do anything to have that moment in his life. After asking her that, his eyes reflect that earnest request with a "can't I expect this much?" as he waits hoping for her approval, waiting for her "yes" to share the plate and seal the moment forever.

Precap

Seems pretty interesting. I loved the use of the "haq" dialogue because slowly Gulaal finds it right to place her trust and faith in him to share the deepest secrets that she has held in her heart. Gulaal has progressed to a level where she trusts Kesar completely to share her past with him. It is beautiful to see her progress to this level when she once refused him that right and declared that no one other than Vasant can have such rights on her.

Kesar looks earnestly at Gulaal with a hope that she does not deny this simple wish to eat from one plate. Gulaal looks a little hesitant, not too sure about it but she does give in when he asks if she is not hungry and that they should share the plate if there is only one for the time being.

I love the way Kesar looks at Gulaal his eyes overflowing with love as if seeing her eat from his plate was a moment of bliss for him. When she asks him to eat too, he smiles and does share the plate with her. I like the way Kesar was enjoying the food made by Gulaal almost licking his hands and appreciating it but sees her worried. He is wondering what is causing her to worry, he asks what was wrong but there was a slight disappointment and irritation probably seeing her worry thinking of the family members. To get her out of that gloom, he says he is enough to care for her; he is always there with her to support her and blames them for not having faith on her.

When Gulaal reminds him that he had the same doubts in his mind a while ago, we could see Kesar's worry over what had happened, anxiety sensing the hurt he caused Gulaal and his own guilt for disbelieving and doubting her. He clarifies that he has no more doubts, that he was nave and immature to understand her magnanimity ever. And for the same reason, because he feels Gulaal should not feel pressurized over clarifying he says, he did not want to know the truth but she may tell when she feels it necessary. The urgency with which gulaal says"Aaj" makes him wonder. There was a little apprehension in him when she talks about giving him the right to know her version of the truth. He is overwhelmed when he hears that she is willing to share the truth with HIM, the truth that she has NEVER shared with anyone else. He was sort of anxious in anticipation of the actual truth that has shattered many lives today.

Kesar was patient and calm while listening to her. When she mentions Vasant and his dreams, we could see reverence for his Vasant ba in his eyes. When she said about giving the promise to Vasant, he understands the seriousness of that big promise. When Gulaal says "little did I know I would have to fulfill this promise single-handedly", we can see Kesar is pained by what Gulaal might have gone through. When she goes on to say she married him to stay in the house to fulfill the promise, he just clears a lump in his throat probably in acceptance of the fact that their marriage was a actually and in reality a compromise.

When Gulaal says that one day she learnt that Dushyant killed Vasant, we could see Kesar reliving that horrible truth within the flash of a moment. From here on when Gulaal says that she opted for fulfilling the promise over Dushyant's truth, she chose the former; we could see respect building in his eyes. As she said she killed herself to hide the truth about her husband's murderer; Kesar is pained all the more. At that moment, he wipes his tear away. His love for his brother Vasant was always there but Gulaal took over that place in his heart years ago. So for Kesar the hurt and pain of seeing Gulaal suffering over that incident is more severe than the actual pain that his brother's untimely death had caused him. For the first time, he heard from HIS GULAAL, the reason why she chose to remain silent over this whole murder and it hurt him, it pained him all the more. For the first time he understood the gravity of the situation under which Gulaal chose to do what she did.

Kesar's reaction was superb when Gulaal asks him if he can understand how hard it would have been for her to live under the same roof with her husband's murderer. Kesar was so moved when she actually asked him if he could ever understand. He had tears in his eyes only in such moments of realizing how much Gulaal would have gone through unlike the previous scene where both of the cried out together after Dushyant's secret was revealed. But unlike Gulaal, Kesar can never really behave that way with Dushyant. He looks away when she mentions that she managed to reform him to an extent. He was not really in awe of the reform in Dushyant whatsoever.

Kesar was hurting more than Gulaal, seeing her guilt ridden over the fact that she could not eventually fulfill Vasant's dream. He blamed herself repeatedly "Mei kuch nahi kar paayi" that made him look so pained and helpless. When Gulaal turns away to cry out, like a thorough gentleman he laid his hands of support on her head. Gulaal needed that support from him, that reassurance from the guy who meant so much to her given the circumstances under which he has supported her without questioning her integrity.

That makes her to seek him out for comfort and support that she takes his hand and draws close to him for a hug. That is Kesar. Without overstepping his boundaries, he holds her close and supports her. He had a solemn face when he calls out to her "Gulaal!!!'. That was a determined Kesar who was willing to wipe away all the pain from her life. I truly respect this character Kesar who goes on to say that with the same rights that she has given him to hear her version of the truth, he declares her as innocent. I like how he says "Tera Kesar".

There is a certain ease with which this exclusive private moment ended. Kesar seeks apology in advance to speak his mind. He has avoided the topic of his love for her since he has always found her uncomfortable with that. But he needs to speak up of how he felt hearing this side of her story. He has no reservations in saying that his respect for her has gone up several notches high, as well as while saying that his love for her has only doubled or increased more than before. There is certain closeness in them even as Gulaal has moved away from his secure embrace and she has a sign of acceptance when she hears this time that his love for her has only amplified.

Kesar knows more than Gulaal has ever imagined. In fact Gulaal after knowing that Dushyant threw Vasant off the bridge has convinced herself that Dushyant murdered Vasant. He says there is more to this murder than the Dushyant angle and he is all set out to find that out. Though she knew it ever since, Kesar only brought up the issue again.

I like the child like enthusiasm in Kesar when it comes to elders. He brushes aside both their fears, says he slipped and fell but he was more interested to know if there was anything exclusive for him from all that Poonamba has brought home. Kesar has no ego issues when it comes to genuine love. He does not deny help saying only he would take care of Gulaal. Gulaal as usual comes up with "Freshen up and don't eat with soiled hands" but this time Kesar is in no mood to abide by her order and says" don't stop me today". Hearing his MIL's request, he looks worried, because his cooperation has always been there but it is Gulaal who has to decide if she wants him in her life.

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16/08/11

Okay, I would rather prefer to keep my temper under check as I am writing today's scenes of Kesar and Gulaal.

I love Kesar's chatter as he says that he has got a fair saree order and within time they would be fine with (probably his salary coming in). Gulaal has read the threat letter to Kesar and is ofcourse worried. Kesar is too surprised to see Gulaal clutching his hand, looks at her and immediately realizes that something is bothering her. He treats he like a child when she is worried. His tone in asking her what bothered her was really sweet. She shows him the letter, Kesar gets angry and rushes to take care of them 9lekin where did he head to?). Gulaal shares her fears. When he says he doesn't fear anyone, she says she does. That takes him by utter surprise. When she says that she cant afford to lose him now and that she has already lost precious ones from her life, he is really moved. His reaction is a mix of surprise hearing her concern and happiness that she cares for him a lot. That gives him the courage to speak up and reassure her that nothing woukd befall him when her prayers are with him. He tells her that he understands her concern and assures her that he would take care of himself now that she is his responsibility. That moves Gulaal. Seeing her reaction, he corrects himself saying "Until this DV remains, in this one month" and then it strikes him that there is hardly a month left for that day. The way he says" Abe k hi mahina bacha Gulaal'..Bas itna hi waqt" had his fears coming up that their relationship will end. For the first time, I could see fear in both their eyes when they realized about the flying time. Gulaal totally wants to avoid that issue that she excuses herself saying she would get ready with the breakfast.

Kesar's request is beautiful yet strange. He was busy trying to fill her life with happiness in these three months. But today he asked something in return, not her love but some memorable moments in the remaining few days that he can cherish forever, those special moments that could help sustain him even after they have separated. It is so disturbing to see both of them suffer silently when actually nothing stops them from living their life together. Both manage to smile at each other, for each other through their tears.

The song that played "yeh jeevan hai" was a total disaster. I won't even get into writing the details because I may end up writing harsh words.

Seeing Kesar react seeing the driver guy, I thought he would reserve the next cell in the prison next to his Dushyant Ba.

Precap:

More than the episode, the precap moved me to tears when Kesar said that he is happy with that half image of his next to her photo. In fact he lived like this all his life. He feels he was never the priority in her life as compared to Vasant or the family. Though she used to give in to his childhood tantrums, Kesar was always the last in her list in front of her Vasant and his family. I was especially hurt hearing the dialogue 'pata nahi, kal ke baad teri zindagi mei itna bhi rahunga ya nahi"

Neil's best: Time for Goodbye: 17/8/11

I like the bonding between Kesar and Kunal that he supports him in his decision against parents in general who are not concerned about their children's feelings. Kesar does not want to hurt Gulaal or he knows her too well that he does not even give her a chance to start the conversation and asks for food to be served. And when she did insist, there was a sense of disappointment in him about his parent's verdict for them as well as sadness for having to convey this to Gulaal whom he knows will be more affected hearing this.

I just loved the late night scene where he clicks Gulaal's pictures. I don't know why Gulaal asked him 'Aise hi kyun" when he said to her as she sought a reason from him. Obviously we don't click pictures for a purpose. We click pictures with our loved ones for a lasting memory. Gulaal sounded Galool here.

When her face fell hearing the panchayat appearance next day, Kesar sensed her unease over the topic. The sad part is that Kesar feels that the mention of his love or anything to do with their DV makes her uncomfortable. In the early days, she used to, but he has not sensed the shift in her thinking as yet. So he goes on to request her to not stop working and he would do the clicking anyway. When she says she does not like to be photographed, he brushes it aside saying she used to love it before and the difference is that she does not plait her anymore like she did before. Gulaal could not win him there by words and I am sure she did not actually want to. So she goes on to pose for him where she looked really cute with the ladle in hand that even Kesar snapped out of his clicking spree and went to savor that moment. He registered that image of hers in his mind before saving it in his camera.

I loved that moment where they unknowingly moved towards each other and realized their proximity. When he comes closer to her saying "Saath me aakhri photo", my heart went out to him. I love how they still maintain a distance in spite of being too comfortable with each other in moments of grief. Once again it proves how they can be the best of friends in spite of being the couple who are aware of the physical proximity. Kesar has of late lent her a shoulder to cry on but I really hope for one scene where he is allowed to cry his heart out holding her for we have seen and felt the pain and anguish and torment Kesar has been through.

They did click a photo together after Kesar as a matter- of -factly tells her to come closer for the picture. The reaction after that is worth watching. His laugh as he looked up skyward said it all. We could sense his feelings of loss at the thought of a life without her, his melancholy realizing his place in her life, almost denigrating him for expecting anything more. This reaction with Neil's expression is beyond words.

When Kesar says Isme bhi mei aadha bahar reh gaya. Due to Gulaal's constant ranting that she can never see him as her husband Kesar feels that he does not even stand a chance where she would accept him and he doesn't even consider himself worthy of being her life partner. So he has resigned himself to fate and destiny.

"Mei isi se khush hoon, pata nahi kal ke baad mei teri zindagi mei itna bhi rahun ya nahi" shows his state of mind. "Itna BHI" meant that he is not even finding him worthy to be in the same frame as her even in picture, so where from in her life? And this feeling crept further into his thoughts when he finally shares his fear asking her what would happen the next day. Oh that was really sad watching this scene.

In the precap Kesar is again requesting her to put her happiness before others, but that is proof for what her decision would be for the SAKE OF FAMILY once again.

I expected this from Gulaal;

Reasons:

Though we have not been shown what she really thinks about Kesar, she cannot really agree for the continuation of this comfortable DV phase of three months.

She very well understands that he loves her whole heartedly. Even if she wants to spend the rest of her life with Kesar, the previous incidents would not allow her to take this decision.

1. Kesar innocently shared the hard day he had in getting a job in this village because none were interested to go against Motaba. She knows it would be hard for Kesar that way

2. She kept on saying he has to go through this hardship because of her, once when he said he would earn for a living which she voiced out whiel she felt that he too has been deprived of a family dinner because of her

3. She very well understands Kesar's love for her and she heard her mother tell him that nobody would go against their parents and support their wife like how he did. She realizes that Kesar would continue doing small time jobs, running around , that too in a bicycle to make both ends meet when he is son of an affluent father and the heir to an affluent family.

4. She spoke to her mother that she expected tat someone form Kesar's family would invite her back home but the last hit came by yesterday when Kesar says that he would never allow her to go back to that house as none would ever understand her. She used that dialogue again"Agar isme hi sabki bhalayi hai toh'.."

Toh'it is obvious she will decide to call off their DV for the sake of family because she would never want the family to lose another son. After all the sainthood decisions have caused her in the past, she still has not learnt her lesson and she still does not bother about causing more pain to Kesar by moving away from his life. Wonder what it would take for her to confess to him once, that she LOVES him.

18/8/11: Kesar's homecoming, farewell for a new begining

The mood created by the panchayat environment is so despondent. Gulaal's father walks upto her and assures his support to her. Kesar had to speak to her before she gave her opinion to the panchayat. He closes his eyes, swallows the pain within and walks up to her. I like how he called out to her "Gulaaal" in such a soothing tone. His love for her is such that even when his heart is breaking to pieces he can smile at her and request her to keep her happiness as priority while making her decision and not to worry for any other's sake. When he repeated"kis aur ka nahi", there was this tone of request, finality and sadness in his voice. She is overwhelmed by his gesture in requesting her to put herself first before others when she can very well see how hurt he is.

I liked how she worded her sentence "Mein yeh deeyarvatu aaj bhi todna chahti hoon" It is strange how she worded it. She did not say things like I agree to separate from him or I have decided to end this relationship or I want to free myself from this bondage. She used the word "Aaj bhi". There is a lot of underlying emotion there. Probably it was her way of saying to herself silently 'I don't want this to end but" after which she says out aloud "mei aaj bhi yeh deeyarvatu todna chahti hoon". Somehow I could sense her grief over the issue too as if she is helpless saying "mein yeh DV aaj bhi todna chahti hoon" but her mind is full of her own reasons for which she is deciding this.

That was a final hit to Kesar foreseeing the finality in losing her forever from his life. He is shattered beyond words though he manages to compose himself and only looks at her. When asked about his decision, he did not try to make her feel guilty and like a true partner goes on to say he has his equal consent for this decision. The first time she called the panchayat, he disagreed. The next time he called the panchayat, he said he is willing to free her as she wishes. This time he gives the panchayat the feel that they both have agreed on mutual consent.

When Motaba finally declares that this 10 year long DV is over and done with forever, he just closes his eyes once for this reality to sink in, to gulp down the pain of losing her, to compose himself and look poised.

I can't believe that Motaba, the village head who has the authority to manage the entire village acts like a puppet in front of Pannba. I think Giga Kaka atleast shuts his wife up with a "Bas kar" each time. Today MB just hid himself in his wife's pallu I can say. Why should Pannba blame Kesar for listening to his wife Gulaal all the time? Like father, like son. At least Kesar speaks up his mind and is the one to take decisions like the time he left the house or fought for her dignity at any given time.

KESAR GULAAL POST SEPARATION

Kesar walks up to Gulaal. This time he does not even touch her to get her attention like he usually does. He maintains a distance from her and goes on to say that he had anticipated this day and was sort of prepared for it. When he said "kahi na kahin, is din ke liye taiyyar bhi tha", that kahin na kahin gives a feeling that he had partly anticipated this day or maybe I am wrong and the "kahin na kahin" was about being prepared and not about part anticipation with hope for the better. Along with Gulaal and her dad, I was moved by his decision saying he would drop her home. He left his home along with Gulaal and stayed in Talli's home. I am sure Kesar did not want their relationship ending midway on the streets where her father would take charge of her and take her to his home. So he decides to officially end their relationship in the most dignified and responsible way by leaving her at her home, the place she has chosen to live henceforth. Truly a respectable character Kesar is.

KESAR'S FAREWELL TO GULAAL

Kesar brings her back home. It was as though he just goes about doing his duty, he brought her home and he was immediately ready to leave. Requests from everyone does not hold him back, he is firm in his resolve to leave. And he does not really hide his feelings and he says it would be hard for him to leave the more he stays any longer. When thankfully Poonamba decided to leave them alone, the deafening silence was really unbearable. Both of them have to say the same thing to each other "Apna khyal rakhna", they smile through their tears but Kesar can't atke it any longer. Holding back his pain has been too hard that he quickly leaves with a "Mein chalta hoon"

It was really sad to see him rush out unable to bear the pain anymore and being so shattered from within. He does tilt his head once toward her house, but he did not turn back. He looks up skyward once, closes his eyes and lets his tears run down. He did not want to look back, into the past and hence moves on. I wish he had seen Gulaal who had come over to see him retreat.

KESAR"S HOMECOMING

Kesar comes home to see that Giga Kaka has left a note and gone missing. He quickly decides to go looking for him when the villagers bring him home. Appreciate Talli's presence of mind to get a towel to dry his hair as he has attempted suicide by jumping into the lake.

Kesar is totally surprised to see Jamna Kaki picking a fight and asking his dad to stay away from his own brother. To top it all, his mother starts to pick at what Jamnakaki has started. It was literally "Tu Tu Mein Mein". Unable to see the family drift apart, Kesar yells at them to stop with a final "Bas keejiye".

Kesar could not see the family in ruins like this. He understands Gulaal lived a sad life and suffered alone just to keep Vasant's dream alive. And that very reason is going waste in spite of her sacrificial efforts. TThat forced him to ask if they can't live in unity like before. Motaba had to say it that it was impossible when the truth had caused the rift so wide apart that their hearts can't belong together anymore and broken hearts can't be mended together. He used the opportunity to finally tell them that had not Gulaal lived with the secret all by herself, this family would have drifted apart long time ago just like how it is happening right at that moment.

By the way I do see Kesar with long hair in the wide camera shots but with short hair in the close up shots. Looks like the scenes were shot separately.

19 and 22 Aug, 2011 Neil's best: Kesar Gulaal at Talli's wedding

Kesar was for a sweet surprise as he heard his Gulaal at the other end and his happiness and love was obvious in the way he called out her name so softly "Gulaal" . A sense of contentment crept in when she asked for his help and Kesar could do anything for her, whatever she wished for. That eagerness and willingness was brought out in his "Bol na". It was like telling her "Your wish is my command"

The tears spoke the language of love and both of them hung up asking the other to "Take care"

THE MANDIR SCENE

Kesar had all eyes only for Gulaal. Even as he ran down the steps at the first glimpse of her, he had the freshness of a young boy in love, in anticipation of the arrival of his sweetheart. The longing to see her as if they have not met each other in days was apparent. When he exchanged pleasantries with Kunal, his eyes did not leave Gulaal and he quickly hurried to her.

Gulaal who was already missing him, who behaved like any other young girl in love at the sound of the bicycle bell the previous night that reminded her of the too familiar environment of Kesar coming back from work and announcing his arrival, just needed a reason to meet Kesar, even if it was on the pretext of genuinely helping Talli and Kunal. Their hearts have always belonged together in spite of all the tempestuous situations that they have singularly and jointly faced. And they found consolation in just having one glimpse at each other

They tried being formal with each other with the routine "How are you" as if they were meeting after several days. I like how she said 'Jaise tu chod aaya tha". She was trying to indirectly tell him how she felt after he left her back in her home. But he noticed the change in her person after she had been set free of the decade long restraints of responsibility and practice as Vasant's wife and as the DIL of that household.

Kesar does compliment her for her looks and for the change in her person. Kesar bought the flowers from the little girl who wished them luck with a "Jodi salamat rahe" comment. Kesar probably wanted to make sure that she does not get disturbed by the girl's comment but Gulaal actually blushed at the comment. Kesar was probably wondering how and when he could give the flowers which he has obviously bought for her. When he doesn't, she claims it from him as if she expected that Kesar buying flowers, white ones at that will have to be for her only. Kesar tries to study her, gives her a piercing look and teases her with a "Who told you, these are for you". But Gulaal only mentions that she assumed it was for her because she loved white flowers but very much obviously she also knew the answer, the actual reason for her to assume that; the reason which Kesar gives her. Can he buy these for anyone else? He knew he won't and she knows by now that he would never.

With the announcement coming from Kunal and Talli that they intend to marry next day, Kesar and Gulaal look at each other for the other's reaction to support them in their decision.

KESAR TALLI

When Talli walks in with Kesar, the situation at home is very tense. But I loved Talli's confidence in admitting that they did plan to marry. She was hesitant only because of respect towards her mother but she was firm and confident about her decision. Talli has always confided in Gulaal and she has always found a good grand supporting friend in Kesar. With the realization that Kunal indeed loves her, Talli with her three pillars of strength is willing to take risks and move on in her life.

KESAR GULAAL CONVERSATION

Kesar is recollecting the one positive response from Gulaal. He remembers the way she asked him for the flowers as if it was her right over him, her right over whatever Kesar would buy. He remembers the time when she had posed for the pictures amusingly and that brings a gentle smile on his face. Just like he had requested her, those little moments of happiness with her was enough to last a lifetime and for him to live reminiscing those.

The flashback of the panchayat scene snaps him out of his dream world. He is startled as he faces reality; his life without Gulaal. On the other end, Gulaal is silent when Rewa comments that Kesar and Gulaal are incomplete without each other. She assures Rewa that Kesar would be fine though she very well knows that he would not be.

Their minds work in the same way towards each other. Both are attempting to reach the other. He disconnects first, she doesn't even try calling though she picks up the receiver once. When the phone bell rings, Gulaal's anticipation is greater and of course it is Kesar. Their "Gulaal"'."Kesar" speaks the depth of their deep lying bond. Gulaal smiles as she hears his voice and Kesar is so somber. There is an awkward silence. Kesar starts with a " Mei'Mera matlab hai" after which he discusses about how Sudha reacted and has locked up Talli. When Gulaal assures him that she would manage the planning at the temple, he asks her to be rest assured. Well obviously he was sure about himself but he needed to talk to Gulaal. He always wanted her support for anything that he does. Her support has always mattered to him. So he just needed to talk to her and moreover, he wanted to listen to her voice, the voice he couldn't ever stay away from.

KESAR AND MOTABA

It is sad that Talli couldn't even shower and change and had to be rushed in the same costume she wore the previous day. Kesar sure has one aide on his side at any given time . This time he has managed to sweet-talk Raman to get the room keys to save Talli. I remembered the dialogue from the movie "Jab we met" where the hero Aditya says" Ladki bhagane ka kaam mujhpar, log khatl karne mere peeche pade hain aur mujhe ladki bhi nahi mil rahi hai". Here Kesar was risking the family's wrath once again, he is planning Talli's elopement and in the process he was not even getting a wife (Gulaal)

Kesar and Talli walk in at Motaba. I like how Talli, again this time; shows the courage to elope to get married but hides behind Kesar seeing Motaba, just out of respect for him. Kesar is scared seeing Motaba, anxious about his reaction but he also finds himself responsible about Talli as she moved closer behind him to be shielded or saved.

This was one of the beautifully played scenes. Kesar walks up to Motaba, squats down to talk to him. Motaba gives him a stare with a "What justification have you come up with?"

Kesar has matured over time. He explains to his father why Talli and Kunal should be married. We can see Kesar' sense of loss when he says at least Talli and Kunal are lucky since they are willing to accept each other as their life partner. Kesar's pain is profound as he quotes his own life while requesting his dad to think of people where one is willing and the other is denying a relationship. So why in the name of false prestige and anger will they sever a relationship?

Kesar says it hurts both the concerned people when a beautiful relationship comes to an end. To Kesar, his relationship with Gulaal has always been beautiful. Motaba can very well understand this logic on his own terms since he is hurt each time he thinks of how the beautiful father-daughter relationship that he shared with Gulaal has come to an end. When Kesar resigns himself to accept Motaba's decision, he has already accepted defeat at the inability to form relationships. Having heard this, Motaba has no other option to let them go because every word that Kesar spoke pierced his soul. I like what he tells Sudha that the prestige of the family is not ruined by the children of the house but due to elders. How wise, but wisdom gained after such a big loss in the family.

KESAR GULAAL AT THE WEDDING

Kesar is cheerful and enthusiastic having brought Talli to the wedding venue. He is almost hurrying her up the steps holding her by the arm. Gulaal takes Talli along to get her dressed up. Kesar is busy with the wedding preparations. Talli comes dressed up for the wedding. It is ironic that Kesar and Gulaal who actually loves each other is an estranged couple of a strange and unique marriage custom Deeyarvatu. Today they are seated together watching a wedding being solemnized in their presence. The ache in his heart, the pain in his eyes is unmistakable. Kesar is happy for Talli and Kunal but is only sorrowful about the fact that he can't dream of such a blissful married life with the woman he loves, sorrowful about the absence of a named relationship between him and Gulaal through a sanctified marriage which is just the next step for the love they share.

Kesar and Gulaal listen to the importance of each vow taken with each 'phera". Kesar has had his share of realization of the duties of a husband during his phere ceremony with Talli which finally led to his realization that he is in love with Gulaal. This time it is Gulaal's turn to remember how well Kesar had performed the duties of a husband that is usually promised by the husband-to-be during the "phere" ceremony.

25/8/11: Kesar's final goodbye

The scene was not very impactful. As for Kesar's expressions, it was perfect. I like the contentment on Kesar's face seeing Gulaal enjoy the toffee. Also the inner voice of Kesar finding happiness in Gulaal's little happiness was clearly translated in his eyes. There was this desperation to ask her one last time if she can't come back home in spite of knowing her. That desperation is when the heart does not want to believe in logic or reality. He is her shadow as he once said and always has behaved so, but it looked really strange when he is in this "wherever you go, I shall follow" mode when Gulaal chooses to march ahead of him.

THE MORSING SCENE

This scene was very beautifully played. Kesar finding some peace in his solitude through the morse while he was lost in Gulaal's thoughts. His father looking from afar can sense his son's pain, but he was helpless. This scene was the best.

KESAR ON THE MOJRIS

Kesar is overwhelmed when he learns that MB wants him to take Vasant's place and take on family responsibilities. There is this self respect in him that still denies being pitied by Gulaal. Very graciously he names Raman to be the heir to Motaba's family fortune and principles. Kesar is surprised at Jamna Kaki's response too. Seeing all of them having such high expectations from him, Kesar is humbled. I like the voice modulation whe he says" Aap logon ne mujhe" then a slight pause, followed by "is laayak samja hi, yehi mere liye bahut badi baat hai".

I would have like MB to just talk it over to him to shoulder family responsibility rather than asking him to step into Vasant's shoes, literally. Again Vasant and Kesar has no individuality? There is this vulnerability in him when he says he can't manage the village's responsibilities when he is struggling to put his life together in the first place. He returns the mojris with such reverence. It reminded me of Bharata from Ramayan worshipping Rama's "Paduka".

Kesar is taken aback when his father says he would beg Gulaal. That was his respect towards his father and his responsibility to safeguard a father's self respect. Apart from that he also was suffering from the guilt that he has always forced a relation on Gulaal that caused her so much pain. He does not want anyone to cause her more misery by such emotional blackmailing.

Kesar loves her so much that it hurts him to even say that their relationship is only possible if she decides on her own without anyone pressurizing her to accept this relationship. There is this sadness, helplessness, despondency when he says this. He has agreed to let go off her for her sake, but he is no saint to continue living in this house and village without being close to her. Probably he was also worried that his stay in this pall of gloom might force his family to approach Gulaal and the last thing he wants from her is pity. This talk might have pushed him to decide that it would be better to settle down elsewhere than remaining in this village. There is a determination and finality in his tone as he can't pretend normalcy anymore and act any saintly any further.

When Pannba reached out to him to declare her affection for him, I could not really get involved it the scene. The actor who played Pannba earlier was too good. And the scenes during those days between Kesar and his mom could really translate that closeness of a mother-son bond. This scene was bland. I had really liked the powerful scenes between Neil and Natasha who earlier played Pannba, especially the scene where he hugs his mom during the Kesar and Talli's engagement, the scene where he eats in the kitchen telling Pannba that he still loves to have the left over paratha with pickle and also the scene where he asks his mother regarding Gulaal and Dushyant's relationship or even when he speaks to her asking what is wrong in his love for Gulaal. I really miss that awesome chemistry between Neil and Natasha. This person who acts now is an average actor, nothing impressive at all.

Kesar however silently appreciates Motaba's support in his decision to leave the village. But for god's sake, one doesn't have to literally get into another's shoes to symbolize that he is willing to take on responsibility. That is really absurd; why not get him into Vasant's clothing as well. At least Gulaal might agree to be with Kesar going by his looks and mistaking him for Vasant.