Suddenly was feeling inspired today. So wrote this random piece. Kaafi rambling. But ab likha hai toh post bhi kardiya. Here goes-
Ever since the accident, Sai had become very mellow. She didn't say much even though her ability to speak was back. And ever since she got her own room she had become different. She stayed in her room a lot. Only came out to eat or to pray at the mandir every morning. She was still recuperating but her liveliness, her distinct noisy but cheerful chatter as she did her harmless nok jhok had all gone silent. Virat was missing her presence terribly... It was plain torture to have her in the same house but in a different room. If he thought being apart when she was in GC was hard, it was worse now. Because she was so near yet so far. It was a lazy Saturday morning and Virat was thinking of excuses to drop into Sai's room. And as he sat in the living room thinking of some bahaana, Aai gave him the perfect chance. She asked him to take a cup of adrak chai for Sai because she had something on the stove she was attending to. Virat literally leapt at the opportunity. He grabbed the cup of tea and also saw Sai's favorite Bourbon biscuits and took a few of them on a tray. He knocked lightly on Sais door and then pushed it open.
He walked in to see a serene sight.
There she was, in a baggy tshirt but with salwar bottoms- an interesting new outfit - it was very homely- she was stretched out on the cot, a pillow behind her. She had ear phones plugged in and she was humming a song intermittently singing some of the lyrics off key but it was still the most melodious to his ears ... And on her lap was another pillow with a sketch book and she had a bunch of color pencils around her. She was focused on the piece of paper drawing. Virat watched her as she was lost in her own world. He had never known that Sai liked to sketch. As he looked at her he saw on the table by her bedside that she had a bunch of novels too. He saw one of them that had a slightly "provocative" picture on the cover and realised that it was probably a romantic novel.... That shocked him n made him blush. He didnt know Sai read such things too ...
As he looked around he noticed that this was the small guest room but right now it was warm and cozy. She had put up a thermocol pin-up board on one wall which had 2-3 old photos of Sai with UM n aabaa at different age groups- as a toddler, one when she was older and then one that seemed like it was a few months before Kamal Sir's death- he saw some motivational quotes too that made him smile and was that a signed poster of Rahul Dravid he saw up there too?! The right hand section of the board had flashcards of her notes put up. One another wall was an older calendar that Sai was repurposing almost as a whiteboard he realized- looks like she had been practicing some diagrams and had written some notes on that too. He looked to his left and saw a picture of her aabaa and also another lady on the wall... he realized that was probably her mother- he suddenly realized with a pang of guilt that Sai had not hung these photos in their room, her old room... some of her clothes were messily laying on the chair by the bathroom with a towel too. The study table had several of her medical textbooks stacked there, a half open pack of chewing gum and what looked like crumbs of biscuits too. And there was a desk calendar with some dates circled and some notes written by few of the dates.
As he looked around the room and then at Sai sprawled on her bed still lost in the music/sketching - he suddenly had a realization. This was Sai's room. Where Sai was in her element. in a way that she had never been before. As he stood at the door taking it all in, he realized that there were many things that were in this room that were not in "their"room. And he had a flashback of Sai once saying- yeh mera kamra nahi hai, yeh toh aapka kamra hai, jahaan aapne mujhe rahne ki ijazat di hai....and today he understood why she said that. Because she had largely treated their room like a guest would ...she had kept it impeccably clean. She didnt have any clothes strewn around, she didnt dress in such a casual way- even her nightwear looked formal, she didnt put up things on the wall like a typical college going youngster would, she had not even put up her fathers picture there ...and he had never noticed. He felt guilty because he felt that it was somewhere his fault that Sai had never taken the liberty to make his room as hers too. He had never realized that she merely coinhabited his room but had never taken any liberty to change or add anything in the space and he had not been able to make her shed her inhibitions in over a year of them being not just husband-wife but also room-mates. Sai had never let him see it except a slip of tongue here and there and he had simply brushed it away ....did he make her feel an unwelcome guest all these days?
The sound of windchimes and a gust of wind from the windows snapped him out of his thoughts and perhaps the breeze also distracted Sai. As she noticed him she suddenly gasped. She immediately stood up and started scrambling. She closed her book, gathered her stationary amd was smoothening out the bedsheet as she started speaking- oh hi Virat Sir, sorry I wasnt expecting you... sorry kamra thoda messy hai na.
Virat immediately felt even more guilty.
V- Sai, please rehne doh. Accha lag raha hai he said as he looked around with a soft smile.
He walked in and kept the tray he was holding on the study table.
Sai looked at her table and started dusting away the crumbs and picked up the half open packet of gum to put away. Virat stopped her and said- May I?
Sai looked at him quizzically.
He wordlessly indicated to the gum and then casually helped himself to some.
V- ye lo, aai ne chai bheja hai.
S- nodded and picked up the cup
As she sipped her hot beverage, Virat suddenly spoke.
V- i think you need a bookshelf Sai
S- haina? I was saying exactly that yesterday to aai....and she stopped short suddenly and said- I mean, no its not a must. I mean , it'd be nice to have one...
V- itnaa jhijakne ki zarurat nahi hai Sai. He paused and then a few seconds later he spoke again- Sai, tumne kabhi humaare kamre mein ye sabb (he said gesticulating ) kyun nahi kiya....kya uss kamre ko tumne kabhi bhi apna nahi maana he asked almost fearing her response
S- who had been looking down not meeting his eyes- snapped up to look at him at that because she heard something in his tone- guilt and pain.
They just gazed at each other for a few seconds-just communicating through their eyes. the silence between them speaking a 1000 words.
As they were gazing at each other, an unwelcome intrusion happened. There she was- He heard that grating annoying voice of pp- Viraaatt.. Voh main.... She stood at the doorstep and stopped talking immediately looking at his annoyed expression.
Sai looked at the woman at the door and then at Virat and softly said- kabhi mauka hi nahi mila.
Virat immediately looked at her. Her single statement and her expression in that moment suddenly cleared up everything for him and he knew what he needed to do.
He calmly turned back to look at pp and walking up to her he simply said- vahini, please dont mind but- and he left the rest unsaid as he shut the door in her face, latching it from the inside. All of this before pp could even react.
And when he turned around to look at Sai, he chuckled at her utterly shocked expression. She looked completely stumped. He saw her open her mouth but no words came out.
He took a biscuit from the tray and held it into her open mouth and said- lo, biscuit khao.
But as Sai nibbled on the biscuit they both passed each other another look- this time it was one that signalled a beginning- a new beginning.
Kumkum Bhagya
Mangal Lakshmi
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