I'm not a mental health expert by any means. The information in this story is purely for creative purposes and it comes out of my personal experience with PTSD. Accidents more often than not leave trauma behind and I wanted to explore one such angle. I would love to hear from you. I hope you like this.
A Brother.
Trigger Warning : Harassment, Abuse, Suicide, Death, Accident, Mentions of blood, PTSD.
Humans are beings of conscience. We believe that's what separates us from the other animals. We do everything that animals do. Eat, Sleep, Reproduce and finally die, one fine day. But our ability to judge between right and wrong and our ability to emote according to the right and wrong is something we pride upon. We set ourselves apart from the other members of animal kingdom because of the very same ability. We call it humanity. Narcissistic set of living beings aren't we?
Major Samrat Salunkhe wasn't sure about humanity anymore. He was certain the humanity quotient of the world took a hit after the incidents that took place his house today. He couldn't identify his family members anymore. If humanity is what makes us human, maybe his family members don't deserve that tag anymore.
"She's 19. NINETEEN. She was locked in a room for being a "miscreant" and for not following the "rules of the house", thought Samrat. The same rules that he grew up to believe in and the same rules that he was ready to shun without a moment of hesitation now. The same rules that his brother was boasting about teaching to Sai.
"MY brother", Samrat thought drily. He couldn't find his brother in the man that stood without an inch of remorse in his eyes."Maybe it was me, that imagined a version that never existed. Or maybe, a facade that I saw", he thought. Nothing made sense anymore. How much difference can a year make? Pretty much, evidently.
He began walking towards the balcony for some fresh air and clear his head but still deep in his thought.
"No, NO. Help!! HELP !!!!. THERE'S BLOOD ALL AROUND", Sai's cries from the balcony brought him crashing to the real world. He ran to the source of voice, only to find Sai in the balcony thrashing around while sleeping on the couch there. Her books were strewn all around her and she was sweating heavily.
"Ofcourse, she's here. Even I wouldn't want to sleep in the room with Virat", he thought as he rushed towards Sai to break her out of her sleep. He knew PTSD, when he saw it. He was an army man, wasn't he. PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was part and parcel of it.
"SAI, SAI. WAKE UP. It's okay. Nothing's wrong. You're safe. You're in Chavan Niwas. Wake up. Come on! It's me Samrat.", he called her, hesitating to touch her. She was vulnerable and he had no right to touch her without her consent.
He saw his calls soothing her down but she was still stressed and it was clearly written on her face.
"Sai, it's okay. You're safe. Wake up bacha. Look at me, it's me. Samrat dada", he gently spoke to Sai, to see her calming down and slowly opening her eyes. Samrat was shocked to see the pain in them. Sai looked like a wounded lioness and a scared deer at the same time. He knew he had to be careful dealing with her.
"Samrat dada. What are you doing here ? I'm sorry, did I disturb you ? I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, I wouldn't repeat it again. Please don't send me away from the balcony. You can sit here on the couch", she said quickly getting up from it, "I'll sit in any of the corners. You'll not even know I'm here. Please dada, I'm begging- ", she continued rambling.
"Sai, Sai. It's okay. Don't Worry. Calm down. You didn't disturb me. I came out for a walk and I saw you screaming. I rushed to wake you up", Samrat spoke in a calming voice. He knew he had to calm her down.
He saw her taking a deep breathe and relief rushed into his heart. She was calming down. He quickly brought the jar of water and gave her a glass of it to drink. He saw her grab the glass and pour the water down her throat quite greedily. He placed the jar back, went and sat down in the single seater.
"You know Sai, what is one more thing that binds army men together, apart from our devotion to the country and our bravery", he questioned her and grabbing her attention towards him, "it's PTSD. You know what it is don't you?"
He saw her paling and turning into a white sheet. BINGO !! She knew what's happening to her. That just made his work easier.
"We see people get injured, die and we ourself get injured and die, sometimes", he spoke, " More often that not, PTSD is ignored. We are told to get over it. But my friend didn't think so. He dragged me to his wife's clinic and made me take therapy. I didn't get cured completely but it made my life easier and my conscience lighter.", he finished to see the wheels in her head turning.
He had to strike the iron when it's hot.
"Tell me, Sai. Only if you're comfortable. Why do I see symptoms of PTSD in a 19 year old girl similar to those of hardened army man. What did you go through ?", he questioned, to see her lip wobbling and whimpering, close to a break down. But he also saw her walls go up.
"No..Nothing dada. It's just a normal nightmare. Don't let me disturb you. Please.", she quickly answered.
"Don't Sai. Don't do that. Trust me. Tell me what happened?", he probed to see her slowly accepting defeat.
Major Samrat Salunkhe wasn't ready for whatever that followed. He couldn't help but get his breathe stuck in his throat hearing what this young girl has gone through. Harassment, Kidnaping, Loss, Attempt to Suicide, Mental Harassment, Physical abuse, Accident and her fear of closed places which was aggravated by his stupid brother's actions today. What shocked him more was the action and inaction of his brother in this girl's suffering. And his family, with whom is he going to start? Maybe Patralekha. He knew he had to convince Sai to take therapy.
"Can I hold your hand Sai ?", he questioned her dragging the chair close to her. He saw surprise in her eyes at being asked for consent and saw a slight flicker of happiness in them. May be he imagined it.
He saw her extend her hand towards and he took it in both of his arms, engulfing the cold hand in his brotherly warmth.
"Listen to me Sai. You're not weak. Not by any means. Only a blind fool would call you weak. But you're not alright. You need help Sai. You need to get yourself treated so you can work towards your Aaba's dream better. You are impulsive, you're traumatic. Being impulsive is a natural trait but you can't control your impulsiveness if you're not healthy. Can I take you to my therapist? Don't worry, she's a lady if you don't want a male doctor. I'll make sure no one in the family gets to know about it. Not even Ashwini Mami or Aai. Will you go with me Sai? You can trust me, I promise", he questioned eagerly,, hoping for a positive answer.
"I don't believe in promises anymore Dada.", he saw a broken child whisper in a cold tone, "they've lost all my respect and people in my life have made a mockery out of them. But I trust you. I'll go see your therapist. I'm scared of her fees though. I can't afford them at the moment."
Samrat couldn't help but tear up at the hurt child sitting in front of him. Yes a child. She's 19. He understood her sense of independence and he knew offering to pay for her would make her reject is offer.
"No Sai, she runs a free clinic for accident victims", he said a white lie, "She won't charge you. And her office hours are in the evening. I can take you to her for sessions. What say ?"
He saw her think for a while and slowly whisper a timid a yes. He almost danced in joy. "No Samrat, you'll scare her, you fool".
"Thank you Sai for agreeing with me", he said to her, "it'll help you get a better life. But for now, you need to sleep. It's 1:30 in the night. Let's go inside" and saw her getting afraid.
"No dada. Please don't take me inside. I can't go into that room", she begged him. Samrat couldn't stop the tears dropping from his eyes.
"No Sai, I'm not taking you to that room", he spoke with disgust evident in his voice, "Let's go to Aai's room."
He saw her slumping in relief and collecting her books. He walked behind her to her mother's room, protectiveness oozing out in his posture. They reached his mother's room and he knocked on her door. He saw his sleepy mother open the door with a questioning look in her eyes.
"Aai, Sai is going to sleep with you from tonight. Please take care of her", he requested and saw an understanding dawn in her mother's eyes. "Uhh Oh..Mama Bear mode", he thought with a chuckle.
"Come in Sai. Make yourself comfortable. And there is cotton on the nightstand. Plug your ears with it. Samrat complains that I snore like a truck", he saw his mother speak out, trying to lighten the environment. Sai was in safe hands, he breathed out with relief spreading through is being.
He slowly walked towards his room, planning his day for tomorrow. He had a lot of things to do. Speak with Patralekha, speak with his family, speak, no scratch that. May be punch Virat in the face. Such a packed day. But Sai is his priority for now. He needs to be a brother.
He was Samrat Salunkhe - A brother for Sai Kamal Joshi.
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