Originally posted by: jankiraghav
Priyanshi, lovely post ❤️ and really moving story from your neighbourhood. Cases of domestic abuse are very high in families of people in white collared positions. In fact, the abuse is also of a different level and it is also almost always covered up more because the "image" is more important. It is only a fallacy that domestic abuse cannot/should not/does not happen in homes where men/women hold positions of power. A very well known politician of Maharashtra, whose daughter has been an MP herself is a victim of domestic violence. Several times in the dead of the night, she calls out to the cops for help to take her to the hospital for treatment to injuries because her husband has thrashed her in a drunken state. It is a story everyone knows, but not acknowledged in public. Of course, these are the instances where relationships suffer maximum damage.
Coming to Sai and Virat -- I loved how you pointed out the fact that Sai's attitude towards the marriage changed after the point where Patralekha left the house. We have discussed this at length during those episodes. She overhears a one-sided conversation of Virat with Sunny and assumes that he's dejected that PP refused to return with him and she decides to bring her back for Virat -- in fact, that was the track that changed both their prespectives. It made Virat more disenchanted with PP and made him realise that Sai is being provoked and judged and it actually left Sai convinced that Virat loves PP because he also made the pyaar-dosti slip up. It was after this that she stopped calling the room "Pati-Patni ka kamra" because it truly left her with the feeling of being the 'third wheel'.. something that she had been told. What followed was a series of fights during the Amey issue and it further alienated her -- the dialogue during the kathak dance- ye aapka kamra hai. Add to that the Aniket fight.
So while Sai was getting alienated, Virat was actually getting more attached to her and he was exploding because she was disconnecting and verbally stating it -- and she could not understand that his anger was because she was disconnecting. Complete miscommunication.
They found some tender moments during the Alta track, thanks to Ashwini's prodding and making Sai consider for a few moments that Virat indeed feels more than just 'farz' for her. While I am not entirely in favour of Ashwini pushing her to love Virat, she did need someone to tell her that because it is true. Her sense of loneliness comes from the fact that despite having such a caring man by her side, she cannot call him her 'husband' in the true sense. To me, the dinner sequence after the Alta track was a very clear indication that Sai understood that Virat was leaning towards her. She sensed it, felt it and heard it from him also. It actually made her lower her guard and reach out to him that filled his own insecurity and then Ladakh happened -- I agree with you that she wanted to go too. We all agreed that day that she would have not refused had it come as first thought to Virat and not from Ashwini but then, at the back of her mind, she knew PP would not like it. Because again: Virat has not clarified his stand on the relationship/pyaarosti with PP.
The Ladakh fiasco has totally done her in because whatever be the private deal between them, no third party can point fingers at her and call her "maukaparasth" for going on a tour with her 'husband', who she shares a bedroom and a bed with anyway. It's no one's business. It did hit her. Because it reminded her of the 'vaadas' that were placed as embargo between them. PP's outburst also reminded her of the simple fact that may be she was crossing her line by agreeing to Virat's suggestion because in her mind, they are in love and she's the unwanted one. She did not push Virat to attend to PP until PP left the house and Virat left her confused with his "pyaar-dosti" thoughts... But since that time, she has been pushing Virat to actively acknowledge his feelings -- right from the phone call PP made to him telling him she was coming home.
@green: I would not count that fight when he threw the plate Sai had brought for him as a 'bad memory'. It was done in a moment of absolute anxiety and not contempt. I don't think Sai will keep a count of that because it was his frustration and she was indeed not even observing his stress at that moment and before they could talk the third person had arrived.
The one fight that has created a knot between them are the two recent ones-- where he held her hand and prohibited his mother from serving her a meal (and the private fight on the same issue which wasn't resolved). That was nasty. All other fights before this were typical husband and wife fights, which happen very regularly -- they say that a husband and wife (genuine ones) must forgive one another seventy times seven, which represents infinity because love is boundless and powerful to replace moments of anger. But Sai will not forget the last one. And so will he. Because this was their chance to really address the questions and clear their misunderstandings. It was his chance to clear the 'sacchai' and her chance to apologise and hear him out. But they missed the chance because there was still a lot of awkwardness between them to be able to really reach out -- his lack of clarity on the 'mera sach' in the context of PP and her silence when he was seeking a response to 'main tumhara koi nahi'... they both have their walls founded on these feelings that can be cleared in one simple conversation. But in reality hesitation in love is often actually as palpable, frustrating and agonising as this.
One other character flaw Sai has is that she doesn't "listen". She 'hears' and reacts. Virat speaks in a complex language and he wants people close to him to read in between his lines -- Sai takes things at face value. That is exactly how a 19-year-old, impulsive person would be. She actually lacks the patience to allow the other person to finish talking and Virat was right when he said she doesn't allow him to speak-- because she has preconceived ideas and from her standpoint, they are completely justified. But when he tells her "tumhe insaan padhna nahi aata", he is not entirely wrong -- except that he can be clearer and end the need for her to read his complex jalebis. For instance, even when he was apologising, he was speaking at a level that was deep and would have given her all her answers but she got stuck at 'khaana nahi khaya, Pakhi didi se kyun jhagda kiya'... I was annoyed that he even told her that 'bhi jhagda hua', but Sai totally exited from the emotion he was trying to convey.
On the other side, there are times when she's willing to listen and wants answers -- the fight that they had in their private space and she threw those questions at him about his 'commitment' to another woman. She would have heard him at that point but he did not speak -- it is because he was taken by surprise and by nature, he would not give an immediate answer unless he has processed the thought. Many men are like that. They don't reply during an argument and the women want the answers then and there. The men want to address the issues after the situation has calmed -- and maybe he could have used the 'Sunday' to answer those questions when they were both in a better mood but it took the turn for the worse and added a big knot to the relationship.
I firmly believe he has to be specific in communicating that his feelings have changed because he was the one who placed that condition very specifically and repeated it for a long time. The onus of reading the changed conditions cannot be on Sai.
I agree with you when you say that she hesitates to share her feelings with him because of the unresolved issues between them -- it is complicated. But this particular issue is not about her. It is about Virat's cousin. And to give her a bit of benefit, the whole Pulkit inviting himself is not her fault and she did not have enough time between the mandir visit to do anything much but the fact that he was asking and they were alone in the temple and also in a good mood, she could have prepared him for it. From the precap, we know that she's going to join Pulkit in charging at the family even before Virat has returned and they will know she was 'involved' in some way. So, for this particular issue, the miscommunication between them pertaining to their relationship cannot be an excuse. Ultimately, it is Sai's soul force that will really liberate Devyani but one can only wish that she had done it more prudently by foreseeing the kind of manipulation and tactics that can be used by the gang to have their way. It is such an important issue that you cannot run into it like a charging bull and expect to not hit a wall. There are crime and threat involved here. It's not a trivial matter.
@bold: I also think both of them forgive easily. It's not just Sai but also Virat who forgives everyone. Both of them do not hold grudges and that is a very healthy trait to have.
(I began writing thinking I will give you a short and sweet answer, but every time I realise precis writing is not my cup of coffee.. so here you go... Pako ab😆.)
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