Lessons in patriachy - Page 2

Originally posted by: FortunaMajor

@Bold that's true, I think this is the first time an ITV bahu has raised such questions (or has it been done before?)

however I am not sure if its the execution of the scene or my perception because it started with Sai's questions and Ashwini's explanation with Sai nodding and accepting the same which is why I was not comfortable with the tangent the discussion took.

The problem is Sai is only 18-19. She has never had a mother figure. Her father gave her the freedom to do what she wanted. Now that she has accepted Ashwini as her mother she will consider her suggestions especially since she wants to do what makes Virat happy.

Today I think she changed her mind to apply alta once Devi reminded her that she should do it for Virat. I think it was the incentive.

Originally posted by: preethik

Sai Ashwini conversation was interesting. Each of them gave their points from their perspective. Sai has been brought up to be a free spirit with a solid backbone whereas Aswini has always been subservient to her in-laws because of lack of education. Probably if she had been educated she could have walked out of the house rather than put up with all this crap. So I really don’t blame her for her opinions but we can see that slowly Sai is bringing about a change in her.

The point about getting food for Virat is so tedious but it’s true in a lot of Indian families. The women is always burdened with all ghar ka kaam & bahar ka kaam. So I’m not surprised that Ashwini is suggesting it.

Was it really Ashwini reflecting on her opinions though? Because to me it looked like Sai was being swayed in her direction.

Your point on Ashwini being liberated and self reliant if she had completed her education is true probably why Kaku and her makkad sena was against it.

Its not about who is what in this show its more about focusing on all things wrong , dated and toxic that what ever supposed values they are trying to convey get lost . Infact i still do not understand the purpose of this show entertainment is not segregate women and men based on duties , propagate gender bias , promote domestic abuse and woh bhi in a supposed desh bhakt family where men are pigs and narcissistic, women are vile beyond redemption.

In all this the supposed triangle pentagon octagon what ever love story is lost like there is no proper growth or progression or even a story so far for the lead pair .

Negativity is so dominant that rest of the characters fade away into oblivion so these characters giving an lesson on morals values and relationships is such a lost cause .

Seriously the toxic morals this show is spreading are unbearable if there was a story light hearted moments along with some progression this show would appeal to many viewers

my initial thoughts on Kaku she is arrogant but not vile same goes for misguided Paki but God this family is something i would not even wish upon worse enemies . Male lead is potrayed as an pendulam with no real thoughts of his own .... the guy and the role has so much potential but i guess they will show him as a confused lead with zero character growth .

Even from a FL ‘s perspective everything falls short with misguided females giving her lessons on maturity etc .... she is better off alone not just her anyone any female for their sanity should stay away from such miserable people and relationship .... to me it seems like Stockholm syndrome than a foundation for solid relationship .

I understand your reason for venting came here after few days not watching but man there is no respite i guess from the nonsense if only there was a story of the leads but i guess not hell there was not even a proper / normal convo between the leads so far am assuming from the WU

I dont want Sai to be gently and emotionally brainwashed into believing that having this endurance and tolerance for bad behavior is a desirable trait and i hope her core personality doesn't change. We all know how deeply caring Sai is for those that she loves. So being quiet and subservient has nothing to do with being a caring and affectionate person. Yes, Sai can learn to messure her words abd pick her battles instead of wasting her energy on constant fighting with the makad sena who will not change their opinion or perspective even if presented with all the logic in the world. I want to see her play smart but still continue to call people out for their ridiculous and unacceptable behavior. Its her idealism and values, her courage and her ability to call a spade that has all of us rooting for her and in love with her. So that shouldn't change!

Originally posted by: FortunaMajor

@Bold that's true, I think this is the first time an ITV bahu has raised such questions (or has it been done before?)

however I am not sure if its the execution of the scene or my perception because it started with Sai's questions and Ashwini's explanation with Sai nodding and accepting the same which is why I was not comfortable with the tangent the discussion took.

I understand, I have to watch it again bc i got a diff feel and maybe ignored that part ..

I have not seen an ITV bahu ..I have seen it in the show reporters..that was a really good show! She's not a bahu though, the main lead just questions society and how people use the rituals to their advantage to control woman..it was beautifully done by Kritika Kamra.

Originally posted by: neeraja91

I dont want Sai to be gently and emotionally brainwashed into believing that having this endurance and tolerance for bad behavior is a desirable trait and i hope her core personality doesn't change. We all know how deeply caring Sai is for those that she loves. So being quiet and subservient has nothing to do with being a caring and affectionate person. Yes, Sai can learn to messure her words abd pick her battles instead of wasting her energy on constant fighting with the makad sena who will not change their opinion or perspective even if presented with all the logic in the world. I want to see her play smart but still continue to call people out for their ridiculous and unacceptable behavior. Its her idealism and values, her courage and her ability to call a spade that has all of us rooting for her and in love with her. So that shouldn't change!

Perfectly put. 👏

Instead of turning an impulsive tigeress into a leader (by choosing her battles) , she is being turned into a cat 😭

Bang on points by you, @TM! 👏

Sadly, our show like many other shows thrives on Kitchen politics and saas bahu drama to increase TRPs.

ITV shows which were unique, different than the regular mill ones didn't sustain in the TRP race and got shut down soon.

Originally posted by: FortunaMajor

I found the conversation between Sai and Ashwini interesting, sai asked all the right questions but Ashwini unfortunately gave all the wrong answers.

Yes, Ashwini's point on how all these rules that women are meant to follow has been made by men is true however the explanation she follows it up with is wrong on so many levels. Talking about sehen shakthi and only women being capable of holding a family together is so wrong. One gender need not be put down to elevate another or feel validated. This is such a wrong message to put across when everyone is trying to overcome gender disparity and fight against traditional gender roles.

If we look at Ashwini's points then even Kaku is holding the family together but is she doing it the right way? Now just imagine someone like Aaba as the head of the family of Chavans and think what kind of progressive difference it would have made to the family!

And what is this increased emphasis on endurance? I mean no offence to all the people who endure difficulties because they are not in a position to do so or have never been encouraged to voice their concerns but why are we trying to romanticise it?

What has Ashwini's endurance got her? She had to endure because she had no choice but why ask Sai to do the same? Asking her to pick her battles or way of dealing with issues is different but this lesson on endurance is quite unnecessary.

And why is Sai being guilt tripped for not taking food for Virat? This is a grown man who reaches around 11 at night because of his work and his wife is an 18 year old medical student who is also expected to fulfill the household chores! Is he the only one who is going to feel "Thakaan"? I am sorry but this is once again a typical advice that many Indian women get

"look pretty for your husband"

"make sure that he has tasty meals"

"Don't bother him with domestic issues"

At this point I don't want even Ashwini to advice these two even for their betterment let them figure out their expectations from each other. Sorry about the rant but the latter half of the conversation got me annoyed!

@bold This is seriously my thought also. In such tender age she needs to learn so many things why ?

Aren't we living in 21st century...Even at our home we don't do this much stuff after returning from college or before going to college. Our parents dont force us to do such things. Here she is married,waking up early,doing household chores,studying late night,attending college.

I disapprove the things going. They need to show some sense that she is a young girl who has dreams and her in laws supporting her. Not like this

Originally posted by: prs_725

I felt like it was more along the lines of Sai asking questions and retorting w new questions on Ashwini's beliefs. Unfortunately, many manypeople think like Ashwini and to her thought process, Sai remarked and questioned those "old" beliefs. It was like having a conversation between "purane khayalat"and "naye" to get people to see the other side and perspective via Sai. So ashwini was the samaj and Sai was questioning the samaj. to me it was beautifully done and such a wonderful message they sent to viewers via Sai. Although, not saying ashwini is right and that mindset is too sour for my taste "get dinner for ur husband" "look pretty for your husband"

I agree. I didn't find anything 'wrong' with the discussion because this dilemma or generational difference in attitude, it's very common in most Indian families. These days for KC, the men too fast alongwith their wives, it is a ritual yes, but if it's done together, it is considered cute and romantic.

Are there women like Ashwini who fast for their husbands despite being treated terribly? Yes, countless. I can understand the discussion in the larger picture. Sai raising these questions to some extent would reflect the next generation asking the same questions.

Serial wise, subtly asking her to get food for Virat as a way to placate him, was meh. She could've told Virat, that he can take his food himself!!

From what I have understood, Sai doesn't change throughout ...and their marriage bears the brunt of it. I have often found in this serial, they show up the double standards almost in two weeks. I had written about it in Janki's post...UM feeding Sai was pounced upon, whereas Aayi fed Virat the next week. Look at Pakhi, she does the rituals but has she been shown thinking about Samrat?!

The audience does notice these things but moves on because it's a daily soap. I always hope that the subtle messages pass on.

Originally posted by: Reeltoreal

Its not about who is what in this show its more about focusing on all things wrong , dated and toxic that what ever supposed values they are trying to convey get lost . Infact i still do not understand the purpose of this show entertainment is not segregate women and men based on duties , propagate gender bias , promote domestic abuse and woh bhi in a supposed desh bhakt family where men are pigs and narcissistic, women are vile beyond redemption.

In all this the supposed triangle pentagon octagon what ever love story is lost like there is no proper growth or progression or even a story so far for the lead pair .

Negativity is so dominant that rest of the characters fade away into oblivion so these characters giving an lesson on morals values and relationships is such a lost cause .

Seriously the toxic morals this show is spreading are unbearable if there was a story light hearted moments along with some progression this show would appeal to many viewers

my initial thoughts on Kaku she isartogant but not vile same goes for misguided Paki but God this family is something i would not even wish upon worse enemies . Male lead is potrayed as an pendulam withno real thoughts of his own .... the guy and the role has so much potential but i guess they will show him as a confused lead with zero character growth .

Even from a FL ‘s perspective everything falls short with misguided females giving her lessons on maturity etc .... she is better off alone not just her anyone any female for their sanity should stay away from such miserable people and relationship .... to me it seems like Stockholm syndrome than a foundation for solid relationship .

I understand your reason for venting came here after few days not watching but man there is no respite i guess from the nonsense if only there was a story of the leads but i guess not hell there was not even a proper / normal convo between the leads so far am assuming from the WU

Very well said👏👏👏