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Ch-5
I looked towards his face with my blurred vision seeking for an answer. He was standing there silently with the same rigid expression, it seemed like my words didn't even affect him a bit. Well he was not at all supposed to be affected by such words.
I couldn't define that how my inside was burning after the revelation. I just hoped that it wouldn't have come to me for whole life. I was bearing the identity of being his ruthless inhuman master's wife with stone on my heart but the shock had literally hit the stone and crushed, making me vulnerable for the moment. Till the day I set feet in that god forsaken village I promised myself that I wouldn't cry, I would make my pain my strength but that night I didn't know why I was so hurt by the revelation, I felt a deep pain in my heart by the fact. I didn't ever expect any kind of humanly goodness from them but still it hurt... Why?!!... I didn't know.
As i rubbed my eyes to clear the moist, I got to observe his face clearly. There was something unusual in his eyes, not the cold emotionless expressions like before but it was different. For a moment I felt like I saw a chink of pain in them.
Pain?!.. And that's also Rangeela?!... They are opposite words... Not just pain... He is deprived of any human emotions. He didn't have any regrets while killing innocent people for his master's sake!!
"Hoo gaya?!!" he asked slowly with normal tone. I looked towards his face in confusion. He was looking straight towards me with that same look and there was a slight chink of concern also if I assumed.
He suddenly caught my hand again making me baffled, "Chalo abhi... Baki kaa gussa baad mein nikal lena..."
My eyes widened listening to hi indifferent tone and suddenly my blood boiled and head bursted in anger again as I jerked away his hands.
"MAZAAK LAG RAHA HAIN TUMHE YEE SAB?!!" I screamed like hell, "Nahin jana hain mujhe tumhare sath... Jao tum yahan se... Main tumhe ek min ke liyee bhi bardast nahin kar sakti... tumhare sath jana too door ki baat hain.. Ouch!!!" my sentence stopped in wince as suddenly rangeela grabbed my arm and twisted trapping me. As I looked towards his face I was suddenly taken a back seeing the mad fury in his eye. The burning anger shut me uo at the moment.
"mooh bandh!!!" he said with such a commanding tone which no one could deny. "Mhare koo pata hain ki tum kitni nafrat karti ho mhare sakal se!!...Par madam... Nafrat bolo yaa Pyar.. karne ke liye zinda rahena parta hain... samjhe?!!"
I couldn't utter a single word to him and kept on listening with wide eyes. His dominating attitude had possessed me by that time.
"Issi liye... Pahele apni jaan bachane kaa socho.. phir jitna man kare utni nafrat kar lena mhare se... Zinda nahin rahogi to naa hi nafrat kar payogi aur naa hi badla le payogi!!" as he slowly uttered the last sentence looking straight inside my eyes I shook from top to bottom. For a huge moment I became total dumb.
I never told it to any of them that I was there for revenge. I was careful about the fact that no one comes to know about my real identity. I couldn't get that how the heck he came to know.
"Ttt... Tumhe kaise..." I couldn't finish my words in shaky voice and shocked mind. He slowly loosened his grip on my hand and looked deeply inside my eyes. Those eyes didn't have a slightest anger anymore. Rather there was pathos.
"Wooo tumhari maa thi naa... aur tumhari didi?!..." He uttered with cautious voice.
I just froze on the spot. He didn't have to say anything else. I got to know that he came to know everything about me.
"Sorry woo..." I was a bit taken back sensing the hesitation in his voice. I barely saw him hesitating before, "Manne apne admion ko laga diya tha delhi mein tumhare bare mein pata lagane ke liye... Kuch dino pahele unhone sab kuch pata laga liya..."
I let out a big sigh. I knew that he would come to know at a time but I wished he was a bit late.
"Bataya kyun nahin mhare koo?!!" there was a sudden little fury back in his voice, "Pahele bata deta too..."
"Too kya hota?!... Maar dete mujhe?!!" my voice was so weary at that time. I couldn't even feel any anger and disgust at the moment. I was so tired of everything.
He let out a big sigh and said, "Abb kya bataoon... Tum ne too pahele see hi sochke rakh liya!!"
"Too aur kya sochna chahiye tha mujhe?!!" I was feeling so powerless as the horrible moment again flickered in my memory, "Main wohi pe thi...Jab tumne apni hatho se uss ghar pe aag lagaya tha...sabkuch apne akhon se dekha tha maine..." My voice almost chocked at the moment as I couldn't say anymore. That horrible scene still chased me in nightmere. I couldn't save them... I couldn't!!!...
My whole feature was shaking in cold wave of agony, pain, anger. Everything tried to come out through my eyes breaking all the barrier of determination which I created within those days of fight. But my eyes were dried like desert at the moment. It didn't shed a single tear.
No reaction came from his side, neither anger nor any sarcastic comment. I was looking away from his face, biting my lips and trying to stop my tears like hell. At the very moment he suddenly kept his other hand on my shoulder as if holding me firm in my devastated situation.
"Please!!... jane doo naa mujhe!!!" I almost begged to him in my chocked voice, looking away.
"Jane doonga..." his voice hit my ear. "Jab waqt ayega tab bilkul bhi nahin rokunga tumhe,..." I didn't know why but I could sense a little grave sadness in his voice. "Par abhi apne sare nafrat ko aur gusse ko side mein rakh ke mhare sath chalo...Kyun ki abhi tunhare pass aur koi rasta nahin hain!!...Jaan taa hoon tumhare liye bahut mushkil hain mhare pe bharosa karna... bas akhri baar bharosa kar lo!!..." that urgent tone of him was totally unlike him which shook me again.
"Kahan le jana chahte ho mujhe?!" I asked in that same weary tone. My brain almost stopped working by the time.
"Wohin jahan pe yee kutte tumhe dhoond nahin payengey... jabtak rasta saaf naa hoo jayein tab tak tumhe chupna parega..." he said with cautious voice.
I couldn't say anything more. After some min of awkward silence he again dragged my hand and that time I didn't protested him and silently followed. As he lead me through the dark stony pathway cautiously, I felt surprised for a moment. I never thought that I would held the same hand someday, which was drowned by the blood of so many innocent people. God knows what's my future holding for me.