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CHAPTER 62
ALL THE NAMES & PLACES ARE FICTITIOUS(if any resemblance to persons & places is purely coincidental). Any royal titles, astrological predictions, architectural terms,IT terms & programs, office hierachy, wedding rituals, etc. are from my imagination hence THEY ARE NOT TRUE. PLEASE DON'T BASH ME !!!!!
Maan and Vicky arrived at lunchtime, there was a very festive and elaborate culinary spread on the dinning table of Rajgarh Palace. Vicky was thrilled seeing different delicacies spread on the table. Singhania brothers went out of their way in hospitality of their one and only "JAWAI-SA"(Son-in- law) of Kingdom of Rajgarh. But Maan was more interested in meeting his Mishty rather than food! Although Vicky did full justice to food. Due to customs, Maan could not meet Geet till her time of vidaai. Maan could no longer wait so asked children to help them. At afternoon nap time the triplets insisted that their parents make them sleep, thereby giving some privacy to the newly wedded couple. Maan although saw his Mishty but could not spend anytime with her. Veer was restless and slept last. As soon as he slept, Arohi came to call Geet for some kitchen related work. After that Maan did not see Geet whole evening or night. Next morning, dressed as traditional royal bride with her ghughat touching her shoulder. Hence, her face was only partially visible in translucent dupatta. Her vidaai was done in tears from Rajgarh. Geet hugged her brothers tightly. Then to her "Thakurain Maa" (as twins referred to Hira Devi). Geet hugged Armaan tightly crying and refusing to let him go. Armaan side hugged her tightly and took her to car saying "Gudiya shaant ho jaaiye bacche vichitlet ho rahe hain!" (Gudiya calm down as kids are getting scared!) Finally, Maan, Geet, Prithvi, Veer, Rini and Vicky left from Rajgarh.
Maan, Geet, Prithvi, Veer, Rini and Vicky were welcomed with all fanfare by people of Rampur. First Maan and Geet's "grahpravesh" was done, followed by the welcoming of triplets! The whole Kingdom of Rampur was dressed like a bride to welcome their new Bahurani or Rajkumari Geetanjali and the young royality. Admist all excitement, it was lunchtime. Children were tired and hungry. Maan and Geet along with triplets had quick lunch and made them sleep. Once children were asleep and Rampur Palace was also quite. No one was there to disturb them. Geet put Maan's head in her lap and asked Maan to rest while caressing his head. Maan turned his head in Geet's lap and kissed her tummy. When Geet felt Maan is totally relaxed, she asked, "Kya aap humme apne saare dukh deinge?" (Will you give me all your pain?)
"Mujhe koi dukh nahi hai!" (I don't have any pain!)
"Theek hai matt bataiye! Aap hummei diya hua vacchan nahi poora karna chahti. Hum samjhate hain!" Geet pretended to be miffed.(Ok don't tell. You don't want to fulfill the promise you gave. I understand!)
Maan started hesistantly at first but with Geet's encouragement continued, "Geet, You and I have been married for nearly 20years. Out of which 14 years of the marriage I was unaware. In remaining 6 years, I have been a disgrace as a lover, husband and father! l'M SORRY for all the pain, hurt, humilation and insult I aimed at you. I know sorry is not enough. Although it doesn't excuse my behaviour, but nevertheless, I'll like to tell you my life story. I was born with a silver spoon as I was going to be Crowned Prince of Rampur. My all wishes and desires were fulfilled at the bat of my eye-lid except one that was "choice of my life partner". As long as I remember, it was drilled in my head that as I'm a Crowned Prince of Rampur, my life partner will be on choice of my family. My life partner will be of our equal status in terms of Royal status, wealth and up bringing! I cannot deny the family choice or I'll be disowned by my family. Thus, developing in me a hatred for my unknown life partner. Emotionally I was closest to my Dadaji and Maa. Both treated me like a friend rather than grandson and son respectively. Dadaji he considered me a friend and hence, he started calling me "RAJA" instead of MAAN. With Dadaji I could talk on any topic except on one, that was on choice of my life partner on that topic it was like 'hitting my head against a brick, cement and tartar wall', thereby increasing my resentment for my unknown life partner meaning you. The day when we were going to get married he told me that I have to go and sit for a pooja without asking any questions and for that he gave me the latest in market videogame. What more would a 14 yr. old boy want? As Maa did not know about our wedding till Dadaji was on his death bed, she was always open to my view on my life partner. After Dadaji's death, things changed, Dad became busy in his Royal duties and business and Maa in looking after Dadimaa, home and three of us. But she always took out time to hear my feelings and emotions. But those Rathores even took away that support from me. Leaving me emotionally vulnerable, weak and hollow!"
Dadimaa had come to call Geet for some rituals but stopped at doorstep hearing Maan pour out his grief. Similarly Rajveer, Riddhima and Vicky also gathered at door seeing a stunned Dadimaa standing. Everyone had tears running down their cheeks hearing the emotional breakdown of a 16yr. old boy not a 34yr. old man! Maan hugged Geetanjali tightly as she was rubbing his back to console him while he was pouring his emotional outburst. Geet could empathise with Maan's feelings as she also had to undergo similar experience at age of 16. Only difference that she had no family support but Maan had family support.
"I immediately had to grow up. I started attending office at the age of 16. Took Vicky and Riddhima under my wing to give some respite to Dadimaa. Being a Royalty and working outside home, makes one realise that what really gets you respect is - your possession of wealth, your Royal status, fear of you in others and your arrogance. Emotions and vulnerability makes you become weak in front of world and your rivals and thus they swallow you up. Hence, Maan was changed to YUVRAJ MAAN SINGH KHURANA or MSK, who no one messes with. But this Maan lost his emotional, soft and compassionate side on climbing the ladder to success, fame and wealth thereby forming a rude, ruthless, arrogant and emotionless MSK!" Dadimaa and Rajeev never would have understood that by making a 16yr. old join business what mistake they have committed. Had they not heard Maan's emotional breakdown. Vicky and Riddhima's respect increased for their brother. They never realised that their always happy and supportive brother had so much pain inside him!
"Then you came into my life like a fresh rain washed and innocent Angel of my life, GEET. The day I saw you performing on the stage, I was totally in a trance. I felt like I'm seeing an "apsara"(nymph) dancing with such beauty and grace. Then I saw you fighting with those goons to save Riddhima, unknowingly my respect for you increased. Later, I saw you in KC as a trainee and I was totally floored. As my understanding of emotions had disappered after Maa's death, I did not understand that the feeling I'm experiencing is love or infatuation. However, I wanted you in my life by hook or crook and hence,I was about to talk to Dadimaa and propose to you. Then Dadimaa dropped her bomb shell on all of us by telling your true identity and you family story. Bringing back my past resentment and anger towards you on the fore-front; along with humilation of me being slapped by you making my anger, pride and ego rise sky high. Now when I try to see the incident in context of Riddhima and Rini, I feel you did a correct thing by slapping me! But my ego needed to be appeased and my desire wanted fulfillment. Hence without any resistance I agreed for our marriage legally and socially though there was a continous battle going on all the time between my heart and brain, which I tried to ignore giving prominence to my resentment and anger at not being able to "choose my own life partner." We were re-married with everyone's blessing and happiness. But I was not happy, as I was struggling between resentment & anger on one side; and love & contentment on the other. I know I could have conveyed my insecurities and feelings to you and you would have tried to help me in all possible ways. But as I mentioned and you have also observed I'm not strong in expressing myself emotionally. Then you were shot and my whole world shook, resentment & anger took a back seat; and my vulnerability and insecurity came in the fore-front. The last spark to ignite the volcano was when you disappeared in the market place for nearly 30hrs. By then my heart and brain had realised that what I feel for you is not infatuation but something more but what that feeling is I couldn't comprehend. One thing was for sure, that this feeling was bringing with it high degree of insecurity, possessiveness and jealousy! Leading me to say some harsh and unforgiving words to you." Maan's eyes by now had started pouring continous tears. Geet was trying to calm him "Aap shaant ho jaaiye! Dekhiye abb sab theek ho gaya hai!" (Please calm down! See everything is back to normal)
But Maan continued holding Geet's hand tightly in both his hands, "After you left, I felt an unexplainable loss which was making me feel incomplete and extremely guilty. On one side, I wanted to go and apologise to you and bring you home as I had behaved with you in a disgusting manner; and on the other hand I was feeling that I finally got 'free from the life partner choosen by Khurana Royal family'. I was still fighting with my both selves when Comissioner Mahadev Shekhawat broke the news of your having floated away in Yamuna river. Before I or anyone could come to terms with it, Dr. Sudha Krishnan came with joyous news of your pregnancy and proof of 'in which hospital you were in those 30hrs.' making me feel like criminal, lecherous and selfish cad. I was totally ostracised by Dadimaa and Dad. They refused to talk to me, eat with me and share with me anything. Leaving me no alternative but to move out of KM. Only who gave me company were Vicky and Riddhima. That also was due to the promise they gave you before you left. I started to do excess work in KC at daytime so I will not miss you and workout long hours in night and finally drink myself to sleep in the night. But still got no freedom from my excessive guilt. Finally my body gave up and I collapsed one day in my cabin in KC. I was admitted to hospital and diagonosed with high blood pressure. Dadimaa and Dad, being parents could not see their child even though he had done a unforgiveable sin suffer! They forgave me, brought me back to KM. They started looking after my health ,food and forbade me from from drinking. Soon I was on road to recovery. Although I was forgiven by my family but could not forgive my self! My each and every day was spent in missing you and wanting you back. When I could not bring you back. I made a room to keep all your precious memories safe. Whenever I could not sleep due to missing you too much, I went there and felt that you are caressing my head and soothing my pain away thereby feeling that you are making me sleep in your lap like you are doing now!" An emotionally drained Maan completed. Making Geet and everyone outside the room realise with tears in their eyes, that just because someone can't express himself/ herself emotionally doesn't mean family and society discard them from their lives! In fact such people need more love and attention.
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Edited by LM1991 - 9 years ago
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