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Chapter Zero Meta
I don't recollect now what made me go on to the terrace that day.
But I did. May be I couldn't sleep well and needed the night chill. Not sure. Anyway so I went up there; 25 floors of it. At ten in the night it looked haunted and empty. The howling noises of the brisk wind and halo light from half moon gave me that feeling.
I walked around in the night breeze. My arms were already having goosebumps with the cold. I was enjoying myself and feeling very brave. I measured the size of entire terrace. I also looked over at different blocks of the same apartment complex trying to make sense of it all. I failed. Most of the lights in the building were off and it was pitch dark. I might have as well been standing in the middle of a farm. The odd vehicle could be heard in the distance. Other than that the wind was pretty much the sound that could be heard. For the first time in days I felt I was living. I could sense my heart beating into my chest. My eyes being closed into submission.
I began to contemplate wild thoughts. Like what was the meaning of life. Why were human beings piled up on top of the other. Ya philosophical shit like that. I had recently moved into an apartment and so I had a culture shock. It was hitting me with full force as I stood there on that piece of concrete way up in the sky. Then I turned to the meaning of dying. How could that possibly feel? Mind you, I did not want to die. Not just yet anyway. I wasn't even married. No...I was just thinking about it. Like the physical aspect of it. How could anyone know what that would feel like. Did one become finally free? With no bondage or exams or job interviews looming up? Or did it all become just a big black void. If it was the latter it was just sad.
I saw that void in front of me that day. The vast emptiness of space. I held on to a standing water pipe and slowly began climbing the parapet wall. I stood on the edge of it gripping the water pipe tight. Bat shit crazy, I know. My heart was now pounding at the rate of nauts. I couldn't even bear to look down. I had never been this insane.
Out of nowhere a shocked voice startled me into slipping almost!
"DON'T JUMP!"
Of course I wasn't going to jump, you idiot. I tried to look back but a fresh batch of enthusiastic wind prevented me from turning. The man took that as a cue to begin talking continuously.
"Look, I know it must be hard. But think about the life ahead of you. Whatever you feel now, it is not worth taking your own life. Don't do it! Tell me your problem. May be I can help you. I..."
"Shut up!", I managed to get in finally.
"What?"
"I wasn't going to jump!"
"I...Would you mind getting down? Please...Let's talk this out like two normal people."
Getting down seemed harder. With shaking legs and arms grasping the water pipe for life I managed to get down. The man did not try to help me. Probably he was too scared to come anywhere near me.
"Happy now?"
"Sort of...But why were you up there anyway?"
I tried to see in the dark night what he looked like. I could only make out that he was a few inches taller and broader at the shoulder than at the waist. His voice was deep and manly. Somehow I made him out to be handsome in my head.
"I was just...seeing...never mind. What are you doing here? Don't tell me you smoke."
"I don't. I came here to enjoy the view."
"At 10 in the night? Don't lie."
"Why would I lie? So you were really planning to jump?"
For once in my life something interesting had happened. A vague stranger who was potentially handsome was showing concern towards me. Things like this did not happen to me very often. I am not exactly a beauty queen. My looks are erring on the wrong side of average. So a girl like me grabs chances like this by the balls.
But I wanted to keep the interest level in me high. If I had said something like 'I have been disappointed in love' or 'Scored low in exams', that would make me seem too commonplace. So I decided that silence was the best option.
"I asked you something lady. Trying to kill yourself is a crime. I cannot imagine what would have happened if I hadn't come along."
He shuddered visibly. I felt sorry for him. Probably this was a defining eureka moment in his life too. Something that would define him in the years to come. The fact that he had saved a girl's life on the brink of disaster has to be a great ego booster. I played along.
"I don't know. I cannot understand. I have no idea what made me go up there. Have you been up there? Like on top of a mountain? On top of Mount Everest?"
Even in the dark I could see the tightness of his entire body. Yep playing it crazy was the way to go.
"Why don't we both sit down? You can sit over there and I will sit over here. Let's talk."
"I would like no names please. I..."
"I understand. It must be embarrassing for you. This...this whole episode. Don't worry. I will not tell a soul. Ok?"
I nodded although I knew he probably couldn't see me. He wouldn't be so interested if he did. May be he made me out to be beautiful in his head too. I liked that feeling. For once I wanted to be a mystery and delight to somebody. Even if it was a man who thought I was a fruit cake.
He continued. Sitting down had relaxed him. And me.
"This night is colder than most no?"
Yes an appropriate time to talk about weather. Men had absolutely no common sense. If I was supposedly going to die why would I care what the weather was like?
"Hmm yes, you still haven't told me what you are doing here."
"I just came up here. I have moved her recently and didn't have time to explore. So I came here. And what the hell do I see! A young lady standing on the roof, ready to pounce on the wrong end."
Oh by pounce he meant my bent knees? Ha. I do that when I need more balance. Common sense no?
He "Can I ask you a question and you will answer me honestly? Like God promise honest?"
Who the hell believed in God promises anymore? What was he! A small child.
"Sure. Whatever."
"How did you get to this place? I have always wondered about...you know what. Like how can someone stop wanting to live?"
Oh dear God. This man was expecting answers from me? Like ME? A most confused soul you could possibly meet. He was asking me about life?
"Hmm...I guess I finally figured out it all means nothing."
"Nothing? I am sure you have something interesting going on in your life? Which is worth living for..."
"I don't know. I guess not."
He "You guess? You don't guess about these things."
I was getting bored with this entire charade. Very soon he might be too. Saw a little damsel in distress(Ok saw is debatable. It was dark. But still) - check. Helped her in a crisis situation - check. Time to go home - check. I had to do something! Else this seemingly nice man would be gone forever. I had even blown the chance to know his name.
I had to think on my feet and bless the holy Lord I did.
"I ran out of stories."
He "What is that?"
"I ran out of stories to tell about myself. Isn't that what life is about? Telling your stories to others...Sometimes these stories are real, sometimes a fabrication. Nevertheless they are stories. Once you run out of them, mind works in strange ways..."
He "That cannot possibly be true."
"But it is! Nothing interesting ever happens in my life anymore."
He "Ok try me."
"Sorry?"
He "You tell me a story from your life. It can true or false. Like truth or dare type thing. Tell me. And then I will guess whether it really happened or not."
"I don't know..."
He "Of course you do. Come on start. I have nothing to do. I am not getting any sleep. Let's hear it."
Hello darlings... 😆
This is planned as a series of short stories plus one encompassing meta story. The inspiration is drawn heavily from "Arabian Nights".
Of course as always you, yes you beautiful lady, you are most welcome to share any kind of stories too! 😆 😃
Love you all!
Anupamaa
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