FF: Forever and Always........THREAD 3 updated pt 58/pg 130 - Page 57

Part 52

It had been hours Maan had left Armaan's diary with Geet. She had been unusually quiet from that moment. It was getting too much for Rano and she finally asked what was in her heart.

Rano:" Geetu, what is the matter?"

Geet:" Mumma, I miss him. You know I had been in love with Armaan for years. Yet that one year with him had been so much more intense."

Rano:" I don't understand Geetu. Who is this Maan and who is Armaan? Tell me everything beta, only then I can help you."

Geet sighed as she started telling everything about her life, about meera, Sid, Yash, Pari, Naina, Dev, Armaan and Maan... Once she finished both the women had tears in their eyes.

Rano:" Geetu, I don't know what would have happened if Armaan had been alive beta. Things would have been different. But now I just know one thing. Beta, Maan deserves a chance to explain his side of story. You have Armaan's diary. Why don't you read it? Maybe your answers will be there.

Geet nodded her head as she retired back into the guestroom where she was currently staying. The Himalayan Mountains can be seen from the windows. The forests and the foggy night were creating a mysterious environment. Geet switched on the bed side lamp and took out the fat brown diary. The name Armaan was carved on the hardcover giving it a personalized look.

Slowly she opened the diary and she could see Armaan's handwriting. After years she came so close to something associated with Armaan. Unknowingly tears seeped out as she remembered the smiling face of Armaan she had last seen. She began reading the diary.

I can't believe yash is leaving for hostel. He is my only friend!! Maan bhai is so busy with his exams. Mom says he is having his boards. I don't know what board is but I hate it already. Maan bhai doesn't play with me anymore and Yash is leaving.

Geet smiled as she read the scribbles of a very young Armaan. It also didn't help that Maan was mentioned in almost every page. Anybody reading his diary could feel what Maan meant to Armaan. She began drinking every word Armaan had written in the diary.

I met a girl today. She is also a newcomer but don't get confused with her innocent face. She is a total devil... Geet Handa...Handa panda!! It was fun irritating her.

Geet couldn't help but smile. She still remembered the initial days when she used to be really rude to everyone. She read through entries containing different fights they had and finally the one day that changed it all.

Today had been a different day! As usual I had been fighting with geet but this time it had been little aggressive. I swear that girl could throw punches!! She broke my nose with one solid punch and it started bleeding really badly. But I am not complaining. I got to see a very softie Geet underneath the rough and tough Geet. She started crying watching me bleed and then she called Sid to help her out. Both of them took me to the hospital wing. Even though nothing serious happened but we I mean I, Geet and Sid became friends.

Geet smiled remembering that particular day. No matter what she can never forget their first day of friendship.

She turned the page towards the next entry.

Maan bhai had been so much worried hearing about my nose bleed. He said he would come down to visit me over weekend. I should thank Geet. Afterall it was due to her Maan bhai is coming to visit. Scratch that Maan bhai always comes to visit whenever he gets time. Of course he is in his tenth so it is not much. I miss Maan bhai.

Maan!! The name had been in every page of Armaan's diary. If she had not already understood how much Maan meant to Armaan reading this diary showed it clearly.

It was strange. I feel so angry and lucky at the same time. It was Geetu's birthday today and I had thought we would give her a surprise party. Everything was planned. I was supposed to get Geetu at the classroom where we had decorated and stuff. But when I finally found Geetu she was bawling. Her eyes were red and swollen and she looked so much in pain. It seemed unfair for her to be in so much pain. I held her and slowly wiped away her tears. She recounted to me about how horrible her parents are. But she missed them, I could understand. We cancelled the party. No point reminding her that her parents hadn't cared enough to call her on her birthday. I am so happy and lucky to have such a loving family. Papa, mumma, chachi, chachu, daadi, Maan bhai, dev bhai, Annie di everybody loves me. In fact even Adi bhai and shalu di loves me along with all the rathods. It feels unfair that I have so much of love while Geet has no one.

Geet couldn't help her tears. Even a ten year old Armaan had been so sensitive about the lack of her parents. She turned the page on to read more.

Maan bhai and I disagreed for the first time. I thought that avoiding everything related to family in front of Geet would be the right thing to do. But according to Maan bhai I should talk about my family with Geet so that she realizes that not all families are like her, without love... That love exists. However I can't bring myself to speak about my happy family. At least, not so soon. Someday when she is stronger I would bring her to my house and would never let her go. My mumma and papa would love her soo much.

Geet couldn't help but smile and cry at the same time. She read on and on about trivial things between them in Armaan's point of view. She had always known how important she was to Armaan but reading through his own version made it certain. Armaan's entire world was filled with two people mostly; His Maan bhai and his Geetu. Strange yet he never spoke of his family.Now she realizes though that maybe he did not speak of his family so that Geet is not hurt.

Geet turned finally to the page where he wrote about his parents' death.

I can't believe what everybody is saying. This cannot be happening. Mumma, papa... chachu, chachi...how can they just leave us and go? How do we live without our parents? Daadi is so ill after she had a heart attack with the news. Annie di is still in hospital due to the impact of the accident. Only she had survived in the entire accident. Dev bhai is so silent I don't ever remember him silent. And Maan bhai!! He is the worse. He is behaving as if everything is normal doing the duties of the eldest son yet I could feel him dying thousand deaths. I don't think even in million years I can cope up with the fact that mom and dad is no more. I used to feel bad for Geetu that her parents had abandoned her in a way apart from financially. Now I feel she is lucky. At least her parents are alive; she is not an orphan...

Geet was startled reading through the last few lines. Is she truly luckier than Maan and Dev? Maybe yes. Her parents are alive and now at least she has a mother. First time in life she saw the other side of the river, the effect of not having your parents. The entire page had blotched ink showing that Armaan had been crying while writing. She felt betrayed that Armaan never shared his pain with her. Just because family was a sore topic doesn't mean she couldn't have been a friend to him.

I was back at hostel. My grades were slipping. Yash who knew everything helped me out. I had been tempted to tell Geetu everything about my parents' demise but I somehow can't. Her smiling face is the only relief for me. I don't want her also to treat me differently just because of that accident. Yes I would never really be over my parents' death much like my other siblings but I at least can pretend that everything is fine and be strong like Maan bhai. I can't believe Maan bhai joined business. He was never into it but I guess among all the siblings only he can help daadi in business. He left his career choice of being a painter though and that must have been such a difficult choice. He said me,' Khuranas don't bend down before adversities.' I am a khurana and I will not let my pain show...

Geet couldn't help but feel proud of all the khuranas and their iron will but most of all her heart swelled in pride for Maan...Her Maan.

Geetu was lecturing me regarding History. Face it, it's boring. But then she said about dad scolding me. It hurt but then she never knows that neither mom nor dad would ever come back to scold me for anything. But her words encouraged me. I would make sure I would never do anything that might make my parents' angry enough to scold. I know they are watching me from above and I would make them proud just like Maan bhai. I know there is a chance that I might have to leave the school due to the cost but I won't be sad and make it more difficult for Maan bhai. I would miss my friends but I won't be selfish. I would be the best younger brother my siblings could ever have.

Geet felt bad that unintentionally she was the cause of Armaan's pain but she fel proud of Armaan and his choices. She also realized that may be Armaan had been so matured because of this accident.

It is strange but Maan bhai said that I should not leave the school. It was after all the best residential school in India so I can understand his point. Truly it was a relief. Yash, Sid, Meer and above all Geetu had been a family to me so I can't even imagine how hard it would have been to leave them. Especially Geetu. I know it's weird but I have this huge crush on Geetu. She is such a beautiful person inside out. But then I don't want to say anything rash and spoil our friendship.

Geet smiled. She wished they would have spoken sooner. That way they would have few more years of togatherness.

She turned and read on.

Ah Geetu! She is so different. On one hand she is outgoing, smart and really serious but in the inside she has such a soft heart. I can see that Geetu actually likes me. I mean the dumbo that she is she still hasn't figured out that I love her too. Guess in certain things she is traditional. I should propose her, shouldn't I? I asked Maan bhai even. Maan bhai knows everything about her except her name. He told me that I should not waste my time. If I am sure of my feelings I should tell her about it. I am sure that Geetu is the one for me so yes I would tell her. In fact I have planned everything. This annual day function I am going to tell everything to geetu.

Geet couldn't help but feel giddy. This was the first time she knew how much Armaan had felt for her. The praises and even his irritating nick name were sweet.

I can't believe that I finally did it. I proposed Geetu and she said yes. Of course I knew she liked me but watching her blush and hug me was a treat. Blushing Geetu is a sight to behold. If I live thousand years this day would still be the best day of my life. I finally had Geetu. I love her and she loves me back. I am so happy.

Geet just shed some more tears reading through this particular part. She knew Armaan had been happy that day but just right now she realized exactly how much.

Geetu was being jealous. I mean I know she is insecured. Relationships had been always hard thing for her. But I want her to trust me completely like I do for her. I think she understood the point and I am glad. I hate being serious with her but in her heart she is still a kid.

Geetu and her paintings... I think that is what I love most about Geetu; the way she loses herself completely whenever she is around some painting. I love her soo much. She is the best thing that happened to me. Someday I am going to introduce her to daadima. It will be a spectacular sight to watch her expressions when she realizes that the Savitri Devi she is so fan of is going to be her grandmother in law someday. I am crazy aren't I imagining marriage already right on the first year of the college?

Geet was hungrily reading through the pages wanting to drink each word of Armaan. There were countless entries about her and him. He and her had been more of friends than lover yet right now, right here while reading through his diary she realized how important it was for her to know about his feelings. Armaan was and will always be her first love.

I and Geetu had gone to our lake today. Actually I took her there It is so near to our college campus that it was a unique experience to walk with her there. But I had a purpose of taking her there today. I am selected as one of the member for the inter college quiz competition. I am the only first year and in fact this is the first time a first year has been allowed. She was so proud of me. In my heart I knew that my parents are really proud of me today. I have come a long way from the silly teenager who used to flunk in history. Only I wish mumma, papa and even chachu and chachi were here. The competition will be next month but I don't know why but I want to visit anie di in Mumbai. I am going to utilize the pongal holidays to go and visit her and jeeju in Mumbai. Also Daadi is also with her in Mumbai.I will have to talk with Maan hai about the trip. Any way Geetu had a lot of fun today. It had suddenly started raining. I hate rains. But watching Geetu dance in rain, now that is a treat. She was looking so sexy and utterly ravishing that I could not help but kiss her. I know that hopeless romantic had always dreamt of being kissed in the rain. Guess I fulfilled one of her wishes. I will fulfill all her wishes. She would have her very own fairytale. That seems fair after all the pain she had to bear since she was a mere child.

Geet relived the particular day. It was years before but still so fresh in her memories. So Armaan did know about her secret fantasy... Reading about how Armaan wanted to visit Mumbai... She thought if he had some intuition working that he would never really get another chance to visit his di.

She wiped away her tears and started reading again.

Mumbai... it is so different. I like it here. It is beautiful. Since I just came for four days di really couldn't take me to a lot of places but I liked marine drive the best. Sitting and watching sunset from nariman point is serene. I missed geetu. Some day I would bring her here with me. The pav bhaji of chaupati was just as incredible. I am sure Geetu would love them. They are just so incredible and Geetu is a sucker for spicy foods. It was a good family re union since Maan bhai, dev bhai and even Tara di had come to visit. It was fun and especially so because Maan bhai sponsored the entire trip along with our shopping and movies... I will someday bring Geetu here. She should be a part of a real family.

Geet smiled. She imagined a jovial dev, a less serious Maan with the ever smiling Armaan. It seemed so unfair that they can never really be together ever again. Armaan is such a void that can never really be fulfilled.

Maan bhai is here and he still cannot meet me. It sucks. We talked a lot, even fought. I even tried emotional blackmailing so that he allows me to leave tomorrow with him for Bangalore but I understand his point. Deals can be complicated and sometimes Maan bhai even has to change his plans because something gets postponed. If I don't leave with my college guys then maybe I will miss the entire program. But I feel so sad that Maan bhai is in town and we couldn't meet due to our hectic schedule. We even talked about Geetu. Maan bhai asked me to tell Geetu the truth about my family. I would once I come back. Its high time Geetu knows my full name. But then geetu knows the real me, does my surname really matter? I guess I should still come clean. I hope she forgives me. I technically never lied. She never asked and I never answered about my family. Maan bhai says that if she loves me then she will have it in her to forgive me. I hope he is right because I can't imagine my world without Geetu. I told Maan bhai how much he means to me. He is more like a father to me. I hardly remember dad since he had always been busy. Ever since I remember it has always been Maan bhai. You know a weird thought came in my mind. I am a happy man. I have a loving family, a pillar of a brother who had been more of a father to me, amazing group of friends, a good career path and most importantly the love of my life Geet. She is truly a unique woman and I am lucky to have her. I daresay if I die today I would die a happy man knowing I have had the love of so many people. I want to live, badly live for all these amazing people around me. Love you everyone and thank you for always being there for me.

As she read the very last entry she couldn't stop her tears. So this is how Maan had known that Armaan had been a happy man! It was like Armaan had an inclination he would die. Armaan's diary was needed for her to have her final closure. Yes she could never really forget or even get over Armaan's death. But Armaan's death or even all those unsaid words between them would no longer haunt her. She is finally free to truly move on leaving all the baggage of her past.