The Seven Year 'Hitch' [2] - Chp 11/ Pg 53 - Page 25

Chapter 10

Yes I will bring Maan ki Mishty to me. I will make this phase to pass away from us, never to return. Yes Mishty, though now you feel we're heading towards the 'Seven Year Itch', I will make you feel that this was just a hitch in our path and we will be beyond a 'Seven Year Hitch' together in love not between MSK and Geet but Maan and Mishty.

With this strong determination I place the frame back in its place and turn around to go back to our bedroom. As I am about to move out I see the gifts are still lying on the couch. I guess as we both were out the whole day none of us realised the need to remove them and place them in a proper place. Carrying them one by one I keep them in the cupboard leaving the guitar and the paint brushes & colouring kits. Sitting beside them on the couch her words come back to me "I want my Maan of earlier days back. '.It's just my way of gifting myself & you our days of love." She wants me as the Maan she fell in love with? But as far as I can think I feel I'm still the same. Yes I agree with age changes have come but then that's how things progress and change is needed, it's inevitable. Isn't it?

But for now I will leave this aspect out and try and crack this puzzle later. I'm too tired to understand or think anything else for now. Picking them I put them in the music shelf on the left corner of the room. Shutting the door I move towards our bedroom so that I can find some solace to all my restlessness.

-------------------------

Entering the bedroom the sight that I'm met with gives me some hope for all good things to come. I can see Mishty being all restless in her sleep, tossing and turning with her face towards my side of the bed. I believe or to say want it to be that she's seeking my warmth in deep slumber. Not wanting to doubt my own belief and to put a stop to her discomfort I slide inside the comforter pulling her gently in my embrace. Within minutes she snuggles and rests on me finding her comfort spot in the crook of my neck. I can feel her sleeping peacefully as her slow breaths fall on my shoulder. This whole unconscious gesture of hers in her deep sleep just soothes me and I'm filled with hope that whatever I have thought of few minutes back vowing to restore our relation will be fruitful enough because somewhere deep down she is still the Mishty who loves me selflessly, who is my soul mate in all senses and will help us to be Maan and Mishty.

I see its close to dawn and very soon it will be a new day. Its Sunday tomorrow and I will have time to talk to her without any interference or any disturbance. Kissing her forehead with a love filled kiss I let sleep engulf me with thoughts of breaking her wall and understanding her needs.

************************

Morning rays entering through the window hit my face. Mishty always makes it a point to pull in the curtains so that the rays don't disturb my sleep. Then why are they disturbing me today. I call out to her asking her to pull in the curtains and dig my face into the pillow. But I realise the rays are burning my back and the curtains are still in their place not one bit doing their work of shielding the occupant of the room. I just don't want to get up and want to remain engulfed in my own sweet world of dreams. But alas this morning everything is conspiring against my sleep. With my eyes shut I call out to Geet once again, as my last attempt to continue sleeping.

Few minutes pass by with no change. Suddenly I jolt out of my sleeping position and sit straight on the bed. I'm painfully reminded that Mishty won't come to shield me from the rays of the sun, she isn't there to soothe me in her embrace, she isn't in my arms, she isn't at home. Looking at the bed I realise that I was sleeping on her side of the bed with no crumples on my side reminding me that last night to seek her scent and feel I slept on this side of the bed, as it's been since last one week.

Picking the bedside clock I see that it's almost noon. That's why the rays were as strong and harsh as that of midday sun. How did I sleep so long? But then it's natural that without Mishty waking me up in her own sweet and loving way and me turning the alarm off each time it buzzes I was bound to sleep so long. Covering my face with both my palms I take a deep breath determined to not let this all bog me down. I can't let this all continue any longer, it's just too much for me. I have decided something for us and I will do it for us. Not letting all these setbacks push me away. With these thoughts I begin my day with a will to put into action all that I've planned for today.

------------------------

Its Sunday today, exactly two weeks from the day I had vowed to restore our relation from the clutches of her so called 'Seven Year Itch'. Yet I'm still stuck where I was two weeks before. Standing in front of the mirror as I'm dressing and grooming for the day I recollect all that has transpired in the last two weeks. It's not like I didn't try but I guess it wasn't sufficient or my best. Because if it was then I wouldn't have been standing here all alone pondering on the days gone by and lack of my love in my arms who would be helping me out in my daily tasks as always.

Two weeks back when I got up from my slumber I had found Geet wasn't in my embrace, but I didn't let that affect my determination and willed myself to go have a talk with her and break our routine. I had thought that it being a Sunday and with no children or Daadi around would be in my favour. But as I came down for breakfast it unconsciously so happened that all of it slipped into our daily routine, with an extra space for emptiness without the kids or Daadi to fill in the space that I suddenly noticed seemed to have formed between us. Nothing was amiss but then there was still not the same. It all had seemed to be very simple when it was all in the thinking stage a night before. All of the self boosting talks, determination, resolve to make it better between us; everything looked so miniscule when it was forwarded into the action/doing stage. I had felt that things would improve as I would sit and talk, and resolve it all with understanding of her needs, my lacking in the relation through her view and then taking the necessary actions.

But all of it was a farfetched plan of action, as I was forever stuck at the 'Let'sTalk' stage. I tried my best but just couldn't come up with any topic that would be deflecting from our daily talks or something that would let us open up without any hesitation or inhibition. Instead, our life went on as it had before; with one unmemorable day passing into the next. Without the kids and Daadi the space started to eat us within and made me realise the drift and distance in our relation even when we were in close proximity. She indeed understood it well long back, before I could even take a notice, that we had become the classic case of 'So close yet so far'. It pains me to admit this but then that was what transpired between us that whole week. The only unbound or with ease talks between us were when the kids called from Dad's place to talk to both of us, stating how they missed us and yet were enjoying their holidays wanting us to join them soon. That was the only time that Geet didn't have that Ghost-of-a-smile plastered on her lips, and her eyes reflected warmth and twinkled with joy.

Geet wasn't exactly angry with me, but she didn't seem happy, and try as I might I was at a loss as to what to do about it. It seemed as though a wall of indifference had somehow been constructed between us without my being aware of it.

Three days post that Sunday both of us were invited for a party by one of my clients. On my request she did agree to come and we did enjoy the party but within our own different circles. That night at the party though she enjoyed her time, I could feel her detachment turning deeper. It was as if she was longing for something that I just couldn't decipher then. I felt her detachment post that night more pronounced, as if she is letting the indifference engulf her. Nevertheless she didn't stop caring for me and my needs but then it all seemed to be all mechanical, like she was doing it as a habit. I knew somewhere she too was trying her best to let go and put all of it behind us as she wanted to, but I guess I had pushed her away, further than she or I could reach out and cover the distance easily.

It isn't easy for a man like me to start expressing myself freely all of a sudden. It's been years that I let my actions speak for me not bothering whether someone was waiting for few words of love from me. It isn't that I don't love Mishty but then I guess only actions aren't always sufficient, words too are needed. In my case my granted behaviour led us to a stage that even my actions failed to do the talking; leaving her craving for me, be it even wanting a part of me only for her. She wanted me to soothe and clear all her doubts through my actions but I being absorbed in myself couldn't act accordingly or even perceive her need for it lest it be in form of my always expressive actions or words that she wanted to be uttered to comfort her. She was rewarded with none, neither actions nor words. And till the time I could notice or understand her need for me, even in the simplest form, it was all too late.

--------------------

While I was still struggling with my 'Let'sTalk' stage, we did just that the following night at dinner. But it wasn't me who took that initiative; Geet as always was the one who started the conversation. I remember it so clearly, it was last Friday.

"Maan" she said, "we have to talk". I looked up at her dreading what's going to happen. I had kept my fingers crossed under the table hoping against hope for it all to turn better. But what followed left me dazed. She did the talking while I just listened to it all. She informed me that as she was done with the school work for the term with correcting of the papers and all her pending work, her Diwali vacation was to begin from the next day for the next 2 weeks. She then went ahead to say that as I would be busy with work and with the kids wanting to spend the remaining of their vacation and celebrate the festival at Dad's place she too wants to join them there. When I tried to put in my view of joining them together with her, she cut me in between saying that I would be busy with the ongoing projects and that I could join them later if I wanted to. I took that as my cue that she wanted to spend some time away from me. For a moment, I didn't know what to say. But then I decided to give her the space needed and had thought that it will help me to come up with something to fulfill the self made vow I had taken a week before. The next day I saw her leaving to her Dad's farmhouse for her vacation, with me standing at the driveway waving her goodbye.

It was a week before, that I started living in this mansion all alone, which was once so full and lively with my whole family's presence.

-------------------------

Today a little more than two weeks after the forgotten anniversary and one week of my loneliness as I sit at the dining table having my brunch all alone with the servants serving me the whole enormity and boredom suffocates me. Each morsel seems to be giving me a choking sensation yet I continue eating, pondering on all that I have thought and plan to do today. This one week has brought me face to face with my true worth in this world, made me aware that without my Mishty, my kids, Daadi and my whole family I'm nothing. No wealth or work can take the place of the love and care of a family. Time shouldn't be spent in worthless and material things of the world when you should spend that time living each day with your loved and dear ones. I know and sometimes wonder how many other men in this world are exactly like me finding it difficult to express and live moments with the family because of their basic nature or their shackles of their childhood upbringing days.

Last one week has forced me to come out of my shell and take steps away from my inherent nature. Because for once I decided, it's needed for me to take the plunge to change myself as it is all worthy for my Mishty.

That's the reason why today after my brunch I will be leaving to Dad's farmhouse to celebrate this Diwali with my family. I have tried my best to bring about changes in me in this last one week, and thought harder to have some plan of action. But two weeks after the forgotten anniversary I've become too worried about our relation and it is all going beyond my understanding. I am ready to undergo any change and take all the efforts I would need to but then at present I'm just at loss of what to do. So I have decided to go and take advice and guidance from one person I surely know who can help me. Dad-in-love.

I have to talk to him. He has always managed to help me in times when I have been like a lost sheep, like a guiding force, like my own shepherd. He has lived and built a relation full of love, and is still living it. Actually come to think of it he has filled love and beauty in each of his relations. I know it's my relation, the one that is sacred and to be between just the two souls united as one; but then I can and need to seek advice and help from someone I trust whole heartedly and I know who can guide me. It's not that I will ask him to resolve our problems but then I need a path to follow on. That's why I am going to him as my last resort and hope.

So I place all the gifts I have purchased since last two days for everyone at home in the dickey along with my luggage. And then go settle down on the back seat with the special gifts by my side instructing the driver to drive away to my destination, towards my love and my family. This Diwali week I have taken an off from work to spend time with my whole family and hope and pray that we all be united and come back as one united whole.

********************