Hey, here I came again,
Most of you are shocked to see me, here but i will explain with reasons ! First of all, i'm not here to blame/hate/'bash' ( The new 'in' word currently š ) anyone here, coz i'm being selfish right now, and all i want to do is pour my poor sad, shocked heart out ! That is it ! š The below mentioned lines and points are totally my view and i do not owe anything, to anyone and neither anyone to me ! It a free world and a public open forum, i guess ! š
So, here i shoot ! š
I know, i was not supposed to come here and make post, as i was little upset and low and top of it, i have exams, too ! But, yesterday was something, that made me speechless and just so shocked and sad, that i do not know what to say ! š²
And, my this confusion, that what to say and what not to ! I better blurt out everything ! Generally, people make post, when they are clear and they want to share it, and i'm making post, coz i'm sad ! š ( Is that valid reason, to disturb you all ? ) š
First of all, when i read updates, it was low, i felt low, disappointed and when i saw episode, i was more low and more disappointed and utterly shocked that, i left everything, switched off my damn PC and cell and just sat blank !
Next morning, when i came to check my messages, i saw my buddy, my fan's, my sweety pie nandu, who share my thoughts exactly, like we see each other in mirror, i read her post ' Sweltering Pain' and that was it ! š
I was left, shocked and hurt, more hurt ! I'm a girl, who rarely cries, in fact once in six months or year !
I'm a girl, who is selfish ( Yeah, I do confess, that i think about myself a lot š, and i think, nothing bad in that, isn't that? š), who is stone hearted, strong hearted, practical, sometimes rude, very angry, can utter more harsh words than Maan, if i want to ! š And not that type of a girl, who cry buckets and rivers for every emotional scene or event ! š
But, when i read the heart wenching lines by some of the most sensible friends and person on the forum, i was moved and touched ! š
Not that, i cried but i found myself weak, my eyes getting little wet, that was it ! No buckets and no river ! Just a drop of salty water on the eye lashes ! š
Many of the forum members have made analysis, once again for who is right and who is wrong, and i was numb, i was actually blank, i did not know what to say, and what to think, many of them, found valid reasons and questions and answers and defense and what not !
What i have seen, is the posts discussing who to blame and what to blame ! But, before one hour, when i checked that post ' Sweltering Pain ', i was moved and all i could find out about myself is that, i'm actually above all this things now ! coz, it was way too, sad and depressing for me ! May be, coz i'm blind in the M&B type prince's charm ! š
The pain, the excruciating, torturing, heart wrenching pain in those eyes, and a drop of tear wetting his thick eye lashes, was enough for me, to forget all the logic, questions and answers, it was enough for me, to stop thinking much and blaming any one or every one, it was above all !
The pain, that i saw in his eyes, when he was there in the home of all mighty, the pain and the remorseful pain, in his eyes and in his action, the same was reflecting in her eyes !
It made me forget everything ! I do not want to blame anyone now, no Geet, no Maan, no CV, no actors, no god, no luck, anything, and nothing ! coz, as i said, i was way too much harmed by his actions ! š
My question to all is that, a girl like me, if i can feel the pain, the torture for him, why can't anyone ?
Or,
Was it only me, who was fool enough to moved by, such heart wrenching act and very well executed scene by technicians ? š
Was it only me, who was fool enough to get teary eyed, watching him in extreme pain and regret ? š
Was it only me, who was fool enough, to saw both of them, burning in same fire, and hurting in the bitter side and bitter part of love ? š
Was it only me, who was fool enough, to get blank, by his honest and simple apology and remorseful, shattered, mental state ? š
Was it only me ? Am I the only one, who is feeling sad and whose heart is bleeding ? š
Guys, I know, some of you, have actually confessed today that, i may have some problem with my mind and heart ! š ( Please, have mercy ! š) But, i could not help, but pour my heart out, it was way much of a burden for me ! I had to do it ! š
The only, and one only, good thing, happened was that, now i find self, not blaming anyone, not even a single person, not even CVs ! No Characters and no actors ! I was overwhelmed by pain !
Okay, enough of my question paper ! š Thanks for reading and bearing my torture ! š
Love,
Maddyš
523