MSK's Corporate Lessons - Updated 24/11

deejayaqueel thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#1
UPDATED - 23/11
As promised, updating Corporate Lessons when my love drops them... 😆😆
Lesson # 7: Power of Attorney is ENOUGH to transfer 25% shares to another's name... samjhe tum...?
Lesson # 8: Egalitarianism is the new mantra - everybody is equal!!!
*Wonder if he believes in a Communist ideology?*
Thus 'blue-collar workers' from the paint factory will sit in on the board meeting and the CEO and his secretary will lift boxes and sweep the floor...!!
Lesson # 9: Diversity is 'corporate dressing' is what MSK is now particular about (Courtesy Kia!!)
So we have Sasha-Tasha and mini-skirts, NT in trousers, Pinky with a burger for an accessory, Geet in Salwars, and 'blue-collar workers' in the INDIAN PAINTS FACTORY UNIFORM
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lesson # 10: Colour therapy is de rigueur and beneficial - hence the boss-secretary colour co-ordination which is soooo important for a harmonious work environment !! (Courtesy aashluvsmaan)
Lesson # 11: The top bosses NEVER work...only delegate... since they have larger and more important issues to deal with rather than the everyday operational stuff... (Courtesy aashluvsmaan)
Like how best to avoid secy, how to get her to say ILU FIRST, how to get a 'peep' at secy, how to cock a snook at secy, how to decode cryptic fax from secy, how to fritter wealth to keep secy under control...etc.etc...
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lesson # 12: Physical fitness for mental fitness is boss' mantra.. and if you think boss is wrong... check Lesson # 5 (Courtesy Preethi-Premi)
One good session of Tai-chi, playing 'catch' with Geet (with Geet as ball, stupid!!😆), lifting boxes, swimming (again secy only gives practice), 'rowdy' dancing, legitimately pushing around secy under guise of saving from jhoomar 😉 COMPLETELY helps put things in perspective for boss!!
😉😉😉
Lesson # 13: Office lifts are outside boss's jurisdiction hence not liable to hold the secretary boss...er... 'decorum'....ROFL (Courtesy Whitepearl)
Lesson # 13b: Flipped on its head - Boss is entitled to 'special privileges' in the office, however these end outside boss' jurisdiction viz. office lifts...
Hence, here boss is ordinary mortal who cannot pull rank or order lady love to confess on account of his being boss!! 😆😆😆
Lesson # 14: Change is the new constant, even at the level of the Board of Directors 😉😉(Courtesy Simu/ Tom&Jerry)
It keeps the company healthy and the stakeholders on their toes....🤣
Hence, the Board of Directors constantly keep changing, from the meeting with Sasha-Tasha-Adi to the video conference
Lesson # 15: 'Transparency' in organizatins no longer a desirable... opaqueness is the new tenet (Courtesy Simu/ Tom&Jerry)
Move over transparent cabins, opaque strips are the new thing... in order to give privacy to the boss-secy for...er... 'confidential and private' meetings 😆😆
viz. 'how to say ILU', 'almost-kissing', 'chin-tipping', 'catching duppatta', 'taveez-ring', 'eye-locks'
Lesson # 16: Flexibility... is THE most important thing as far as clients' expectations go... (Courtesy Rollz)
True even for corporates outside of MSK's corporate world who are open to bending over backwards for clients(😡😡 frustration and bias of self seeping into post 😉😉
Anyway, so KC believes in forward and backward and sideways integration and diversification.... dealing with everything from constructing houses, to developing hotels.... and to event management, to even coolie services
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lesson # 16: The new 'business model', 'profit-loss' equation for making business decisions (Courtesy Krishnarani)
The new measure of business sense and acumen... accept all Terms & Conditions of important but irritiating clients when they come between you and...er.... 'mehabooba' and rush to latter
More cost saving possible on travel and venue and sidey legal dept. by conducting this meeting over phone itself....
NB: To clients, for particularly tricky deals best to contact Secy for time-table of 'ILU' sessions and then contact MSK at that time... Deal will DEFINITELY get cracked... and in your favour!!!
Lesson # 17: Secretaries are the ultimate 'gyms' and health centres for boss (Courtesy Krishnarani)
1. Eye lock with secy - staring without blinking helps increase concentration
2. Holding hands with secy - helps improve touch sense
3. Moving boxes with Secy - helps those biceps and triceps.
4. Saving secy fom chandelier - helps increase agility, flexibility and the reaction time
****************************************************************************************************
FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW OR HAVE FORGOTTEN THE FIRST 6 CORPORATE LESSONS
(Written at the time of the Paint Factory takeover... that might explain some of the references)
A new school of thought - Maan's Business Administration 😆😆 I present... Maan's corporate lessons.... well.... almost his...😉😉
Lesson # 1: A new company hierarchy - the rise of a diff level of 'flat organization'... flat?? no sir... i call it 'size 0 organization' 🤣
Therefore, company = Owner + CEO + Peon + Workers 🤣🤣🤣 🤣
Middle level??? uska kya karna?😆 AND....VERY flexible levels... CEO can become Secy, Peon can become CEO 🤣
Lesson # 2: Penny-wise pound-foolish
Therefore, apni Rs. 100 Crore se bhi zyaada ki company chhodke, we should spend ALL day in a Rs 2 Crore company
(How do i know???? Arrey... dont you remember the cheque YAsh got?? 🤣🤣
Lesson # 3: New business dressing for boss's secy
DUNGAREES 🤣🤣🤣🤣...
PS: If it was a worker's dress, why was Geet's dress different from the other workers....😈😈😈
Lesson # 4: A New Display room is a must...
Errr. what EXACTLY was on display there??😈 🤣🤣🤣 😉
Lesson # 5: V V IMP. - BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT (Courtesy Rollz)
He can never be LEFT behind 😉😉
He can enter WHEREVER (ahem...ahem..😉)
He always has the most perfect standards - amt. of sugar, choice of CEO 🤣🤣, choice of dress, choice of company
and ALL the rules mentioned above 🤣
Lesson # 6: boss might br right... but that dratted sherni always wins (Courtesy Azz)
Ahem... need we say more :>?????🤣🤣


Edited by deejayaqueel - 14 years ago

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zebronics thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#2

Originally posted by: deejayaqueel

UPDATED - 23/11
Lesson # 7: Power of Attorney is ENOUGH to transfer 25% shares to another's name... samjhe tum...?
Lesson # 8: Egalitarianism is the new mantra - everybody is equal!!!
*Wonder if he believes in a Communist ideology?*
Thus 'blue-collar workers' from the paint factory will sit in on the board meeting and the CEO and his secretary will lift boxes and sweep the floor...!!
🤣



ha ha ha
really yaar no difference between ceo, secretary, workers
they all are truely following this quote HUM SAB EK HAI

Loquacious_Aash thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#3
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 u r just too good!!!!!! love ur posts🤣🤣🤣🤣
kirti_fiji thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 14 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: deejayaqueel

UPDATED - 23/11
Lesson # 7: Power of Attorney is ENOUGH to transfer 25% shares to another's name... samjhe tum...?
We all know that dev has no brains, its always others telling him what to do so normal he cant remember lesson 7 🤣🤣
Lesson # 8: Egalitarianism is the new mantra - everybody is equal!!!
*Wonder if he believes in a Communist ideology?*
Thus 'blue-collar workers' from the paint factory will sit in on the board meeting and the CEO and his secretary will lift boxes and sweep the floor...!!

Equal rights more like it, nowdays company have the policy that the ranks are just in paper for formality, everyone is equal, brings out the love and unity in everyone
(esp maanisha and MSK🤣🤣🤣)
🤣

deejayaqueel thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: zebronics



ha ha ha
really yaar no difference between ceo, secretary, workers
they all are truely following this quote HUM SAB EK HAI

😉😉😉😉... i know... his...er... belief in equality never fails to amaze me!!!
😆😆😆
deejayaqueel thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: aashluvsmaan

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 u r just too good!!!!!! love ur posts🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thank you...☺️☺️☺️☺️
*Blushing.... since i believe MSK likes blushing, shy gals*
🤣🤣🤣
deejayaqueel thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#7
We all know that dev has no brains, its always others telling him what to do so normal he cant remember lesson 7 🤣🤣
Yup... MSK ne kitni baar bataya tha... hai na Dev... obviously nahi 'samjhe tum'
Duffer 🤣🤣
Equal rights more like it, nowdays company have the policy that the ranks are just in paper for formality, everyone is equal, brings out the love and unity in everyone
(esp maanisha and MSK🤣🤣🤣)
On my Godd!! 🤣🤣🤣
kia_s thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#8
🤣🤣...........deej u forgot the indian paints guys still wear the same uniform.............is that some sort of new revolution in the corporate world.......after a merger u still wear ur old uniform🤣🤣and yo dude i would like to have my MBA degree after all these corporate lessons🤣
deejayaqueel thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: kia_s

🤣🤣...........deej u forgot the indian paints guys still wear the same uniform.............is that some sort of new revolution in the corporate world.......after a merger u still wear ur old uniform🤣🤣and yo dude i would like to have my MBA degree after all these corporate lessons🤣

🤣🤣🤣
Oh Yeah!!! Good point... these guys na....imagine walking into Pindi Queens's meeting with Indian Paints on....??
I think it is all a ploy by Maan to impress clients... to show off ki mera paas bangka hai, gaadi hai, factories hain... tumhaare paas kya hai...
Wait.. let me update this one...!!
Loquacious_Aash thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: deejayaqueel

Thank you...☺️☺️☺️☺️
*Blushing.... since i believe MSK likes blushing, shy gals*
🤣🤣🤣

nope...he likes our SHERNI HANDA😳😳😳😳 and mischievous gals😳😳😳
cant u see the change in his behavior???? he wants phast girls....
ROFL
ROFLROFLROFLROFL

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