Iktara (part 2)
Sun rahi hoon sudh budh khoke koi main kahani
Poori kahani hai kya kise hai pata
Main to kisiki hoke yeh bhi na jaani
Ruth hai ye do pal ki ya rehgi sada
(kise hai pata… kise hai pata)
After the visit with the doctor, hand in hand we make our way back to the car. After that moment in the examination room, we have been lost in this new world. World which we are seeing through new eyes. I have known my responsibility and have loved this child from the start but there is no way to express how seeing and hearing the heart of my child has made me feel, has made us feel. We have not let go of each other since then, lingeringly touching each other, casual touches that even we are not aware of making to each other. His fingers come to move my hair out of my face, caressing my face before tucking my loose curls behind my ear. While my hand goes to touch the back of his hand or caress his cheek. As we reach the car, we are still unwilling to let go of each other. He walks me to my door and careful seats me in the car before walking over to his side. Quickly seating himself, he reaches and caresses my hand quickly before starting to drive. As he is driving, I am turned to my side looking at him, uncaring of where we are going. Feeling the need to touch him again, I place my left hand on top of his hand which is resting on top of the stick shift, placing my hand there, I let it relax and let it move, following the movements which his hand is making. Every now and then, as there are lulls in traffic, he entwines our fingers and looks over at me, his eyes unmarred by the shadows which have plagued him for the past so many days.
Too soon we arrive at our destination. He has taken us to caf, wanting me to eat properly before we did anything else. Just as in the hospital, we walk again into the place, with him leading and me following, looking at him the whole time. Taking our seats we sit face to face, with our left hands resting on the table holding each other. So lost we are again in each other, that we don't even notice the waiter the first time he comes to take our order. Eventually, though our gazing is interrupted by the growling our stomachs. I am happy to feel that my appetite is back again. In the last 15 days, I have felt not much like eating or sleeping. The 7 days following Maan and mine fight were the worst. Those 7 days, I could hardly eat, feeling no appetite. Sure I was taking all my vitamins and supplements, and making sure I ate 3 times a day so that my baby was ok, but there was no joy in eating those days. For me all those days had consisted of was barricading my self in the room most of the time, most of the time curled into a fetal position on the bed. Now though, I feel the same robust passion for food again and I have already started much better since last night.
Unable to help myself, I order a bunch of things from the menu. A club sandwich, a salad, fires, shake, etc. Maan too orders food similar to the amount of what I order. When I saw him again the first time after our fight and the past few days, it seems as if he has lost weight a little and there were circles under his eyes too. My love, what have we done to each other, but whatever it was, here we were, both in full form again and I know, I hope , it will only get better from now. Soon our food arrives and with great joy I did in, starting with the salad and fries, taking a bite of my sandwich ever now and then. For a few minutes, I am busy just satisfying the hunger which has filled me again. Taking a bite of my sandwich, I look across only to catch him gazing at me again. Looking down at his order, it seems he was taking enjoyment in me eating my food, and yet was not eating much himself. When I ask him if he did not like what he order, he just smiles, shakes his head, and replies that it was just fine, but that he was enjoying seeing me so happy and eating with such enthusiasm, and further asks me if the sandwich is really that good. Offering my sandwich, I urge him to take a bite to find out for himself. Blushing, I realize that I had just offered him my jhoota khana, I go to pull back my hand when he does not respond to the offer.
Jo barse sapne boond boond
Nainon ko moond moond
(Nainon ko moond moond)
Jo barse sapne boond boond
Nainon ko moond moond
Kaise main chaloon, dekh na sakoon
Anjaane raastein
She offered me her sandwich, something which she had eaten and now was offering for me to take a bite of. My mind can't help but go back to the day when she told me that I it was not appropriate for me to eat out of her plate, it was not my right to do so. And today, she sits across me blushing, offering me her eaten sandwich with full comprehension of implied nuances which it implied. I must have been lost in my thought for a few moments because my attention returns to this situation when she goes to move back her hand and take the gesture with it. I quickly grab her retreating hand and gently move it towards my mouth again, and with my eyes on her, take a bite out of the offered food. Still holding her hand, I eat and swallow the bite. Bringing her hand close again, I take a second bite, before guiding our hands towards her mouth, offering her the next bite. It surprises me very happily when after only a brief moment of hesitation, she takes a tentative bite from the sandwich. It is only after she has taken the bite and is eating, that I move my hand away and resume eating.
The next passage of time is spent between us just eating and enjoying each other company. There are not much words spoken between us, as we eat and feed each other food. The important conversations that needed to happen between us were already exchanged, first in the doctors office, and now the sharing of those first bites of food. Too soon lunch is over, we wrap up our food with sharing a slice of decadent black forest cake. As geet excuses herself to go to the restroom, I am quick to make the payments, and wait for her to return. Since seeing and hearing the heartbeats of our baby, I have been silently sending my gratitude, love, and thanks to God for this chance which I was given. Again now, after this simple lunch, I send those feelings again. I had not expected this lunch to turn out as perfectly as it did, and can only express my thanks and happiness at how it did turn out. Today I was given my baby and my Geet. I know there are many matters still which were waiting for resolution and discussion but they could wait. After the experience which I have passed today, I have a feeling that we, Geet, I and our baby, could face everything together. As I see her walk back towards the table, I snap out of my introspective thoughts, and stand up so that we can make way to our car again.
Again as we sit in our car though, looking over at her, I cannot help but send over a prayer again to Babaji to protect our happiness, to keep us this happy and only to increase our happiness as life went on. I don't feel like going back to the office right now, and when I express this sentiment to her, she is quick to agree. She also exclaims how she does not feel like facing anything thing else right now. So finally we decide to drive over to Meera's house, so that we can sit together and talk. Discuss the important and unimportant topics relevant to our lives. I also have another purpose to this suggestion. Though I do not wish to mar this day with unpleasantness, I had to let her now about what the situation was going on with Dev and NT. I had to let her know about how I was working on a way to send them back to jail and make them pay for their crimes. I had to let her know of the court order which I had my lawyer draw up, which required NT to stay at least km away from her. We were strong enough now, we needed to clear up any misunderstandings between us. We had to present a strong united front to everyone and win this fight.
Another purpose to this, was that I have to convince her to come home again. I know that all which had happened had forced her to leave our home, but even Daadimaa was missing her greatly, and wanted Geet to come home. Daadimaa had been hinting at wanting to ask Geet to come back home but this morning I had been still so reluctant to let her back all the way into my life. How foolish I was to try and keep the happiness at bay. I know that in the future I will have to deal guilt that I will feel because of some of my actions for the past few days but spending the day with Geet I know that she has not held my actions against me. I am most grateful of this part of her nature. Now, after the last few hours together, I cant wait for her to come back home again. It takes all my effort for me to not just simply drive over to our house, and move her back but I know that this time I will have to ask and coax her to come back home. Thinking of it, I cant wait to try my best at enticing my Geet to come back home. There was so much to plan ahead, regarding our wedding, our baby, our family.
For now, I am content holding her hand, and driving. Going to the place which offered her shelter in her time of need. I don't think I can ever thank Meera enough for taking care of her when I was too caught up in my pain, hurt, and ego to do so. As I hold her hand, my hand constantly comes in contact with her heart locket which houses her ring. Another thing for me to look forward to, putting her ring back onto her finger where it belonged. I regret that I do not have my Taveez with me, but thinking on it, I decide that the first thing to do when Geet comes back home, was for us to put the taveez back around my neck, and this time for us to work to make sure that it would never leave its place again. Coming out of my thoughts, I park the car and with a determined frame of mind, follow Geet towards our destination.
Gunjasa hai koi iktara iktara, gunjasa hai koi iktaraGunjasa hai koi iktara iktara, gunjasa hai koi iktaraDheeme bole koi iktara iktara, dheeme bole koi iktaraGunjasa hai koi iktara iktara, gunjasa hai koi iktara------------
part 2 (end)
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inspiration: Iktara from wake up sid
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comments are welcome and appreciated.
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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