Jokes - Page 118

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jasunap

@jasunap

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1171

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, suggesting that they were nearly identical stories!

His Professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bulls**t artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

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Anandana

@Anandana

Voyager

Posted: 17 years ago

#1172

Bed near the window for me please....I answerd bucket, before reading the last line 😳 😳

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girivanam

@girivanam

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1173

Jas Jas, 😆, guess I need another near the wall in another room 😉

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Anandana

@Anandana

Voyager

Posted: 17 years ago

#1174

Correct, girikku thaniyave room kuduthudunga...illena filter coffee kettu kitte irrupanga 😉

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suram

@suram

Voyager

Posted: 17 years ago

#1175

Jas kanna yenge irunthu ma pudikkira ipadi patta jokes yellam???? Sirichu sirichu pallu yellam sulukkiduthu...athuvum antha Titanic-My Life takes the Cake!! But I didn't bake it!!! 😆

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1176

🤣 🤣 Jas dat was sooo good. I too answered bucket before the end 😉 😆 😆

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1177

Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."

After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

"Daddy, does God love children?"

"Yes son, he loves all children."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1178

Gorilla Control

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun.

"Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in the balls until he's incapacitated."

"Great," says the man. "But what's the gun for?"

"In case I fall down instead of the gorilla -- shoot the dog."

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1179

There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog."

And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate."

The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair."

The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.

So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!"😆 😆

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

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suram

@suram

Voyager

Posted: 17 years ago

#1180

Funny ones Netra!! 😆 😆

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Jokes - Page 118

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