An Everlasting Sensation | Ch 4 | Pg 6 | - Page 3

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Iqbal Neha1 thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#21
Was the chapter short?

the chapter was not really short it was of good length but i still wanted to read more.
Which was your favorite intro, and why?

riddhimas intro was my favourit because it was more like a realty than a dream and the prince charming i hoped it would be armaan
Which character do you most identify with?

well i cant really decide yet
Were all the intros equally written, or did I waste too much time on some?
i felt that all intross where equally written in detail which helped me make a picture of the charachters in my mind.

Likes/Dislikes?
i liked the way u described each charachter and showed how eager they are 2 wrk at sanjivani
amazing part
👏
Dark Love thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#22

Originally posted by: SuhanaSafar

OMG! OMG! A story from Madiha! Noo! Madiha changed her username, this is someone else not herr! I'm soooo excited about this and I'm totally gonna try to keep up with it. Agh no Rabia don'tt 😆 Didn't I tell you not to a long time ago? And you're getting excited for no reason. I tend to disappoint people A LOT. Dude, you gotta send me pm reminder. Ergh Don't want to miss a single chapter! Okay as long as you honestly tell me if something's wrong with any chapter or anything okay? Pinky promise?

Was the chapter short?

No, the length was perfect. Just enough to get us interest...but still keep us longing for more. Great! That was intended 😉

Which was your favorite intro, and why?

I liked Azaan's. It was the most mysterious. 😉 Yay! 😆 I liked his too :P

Which character do you most identify with?

Not quite sure yet...I can't wait to know more about them. Yea it's kinda early, it'll be easier in the next few chapters.

Were all the intros equally written, or did I waste too much time on some?

Seemed pretty even to me. I liked the lengths of each of them. Great! 😃

Likes/Dislikes?
Loved, loved, loved the intro!!! Can't wait til they start their internships. Continue SOON! I'll post longer comments next time...I promise! Aww this comment was definitely long enough! I love you! :D

Dark Love thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: Iqbal Neha1

Was the chapter short?

the chapter was not really short it was of good length but i still wanted to read more. Uff you all are never content with the length 😆😆
Which was your favorite intro, and why?

riddhimas intro was my favourit because it was more like a realty than a dream and the prince charming i hoped it would be armaan Ooo! You'll see! 😉
Which character do you most identify with?

well i cant really decide yet I understand! =D

Were all the intros equally written, or did I waste too much time on some?
i felt that all intross where equally written in detail which helped me make a picture of the charachters in my mind. Great! :D

Likes/Dislikes?
i liked the way u described each charachter and showed how eager they are 2 wrk at sanjivani
amazing part Thanks hon!
👏



Okay, I'm posting Chapter 2 for my sweet friend Hina(hinanaziri) who gave me amazing feedback and is making me post it! :P
Dark Love thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#24

Chapter 2 – Yeh Lamhey

At exactly 6:45 AM, a flashy car took a turn at the staff parking lot of Sanjeevani. After parking at his assigned spot, Azaan got out of the car and took a good look at the hospital. He took off his sunglasses and put on his lab coat. Trying his best to hide his nervousness, he strode forward.

***

Afreen quickly got off the rickshaw and paid the driver. Once the driver counted his money and left, she turned to stare at Sanjeevani just as Azaan had. She slowly smiled and snapping her hair back, she gracefully walked in.

Once inside, she asked the sweet receptionist, Sister Lovely, the way to the locker rooms. Sister Lovely was more than happy to guide this pretty new intern.

Afreen thanked her once she reached her destination and Sister Lovely left. Afreen noticed that someone was already present in the locker room. It was probably one of her fellow interns, she thought to herself. She walked in and found a locker with her name on it. The lock required the combination which she'd memorized the moment it had been sent to her through mail the week before.

In minutes, she had her locker open and her purse and other necessities stored inside. She locked it and turned around to see the tall young intern still standing in front of his locker, muttering to himself as he struggled with the lock. Without thinking twice, she walked up to him and softly asked, "May I help?"

Azaan turned around, surprised to see the attractive girl who stood before him. He hadn't heard her walk in for he was too busy trying to open his locker. For a moment, he was completely lost as he looked at her. She was dressed in a simple white shalwar suit with silver hoops in her ear rings and silver bangles on her arms. She wasn't outright stunning like an actress, but her simplicity, sharp features, and soft voice captivated him.

Confused by Azaan's behavior, Afreen waved her hand in front of his face. Azaan blinked as he came out of his trance-like state. "Oh, yes, no, I mean, its okay, I got it." He turned back to his locker and tried his luck at the lock again, mentally kicking himself at the same time. Afreen stood there, watching him as he lazily picked at the lock. "Are you sure you don't need help?" she asked politely. Azaan turned to her, "Huh? I mean, uh, actually, I think I do need help."

"You think?" Afreen asked, slightly raising her eyebrows. Azaan began to fumble again until Afreen let out a small giggle, which made him realize she was teasing him. He smiled sheepishly and moved back after handing her his locker combination. He was surprised as she swiftly turned the knobs of the lock and opened the locker within a few seconds. "Here you go!" she said cheerfully.

"Oh, thank you so much!" he replied. He mentally patted himself in the back for saying the words smoothly without fumbling at all.

Afreen responded by giving him a small smile. Azaan returned the smile and ran his hand through his hair consciously. Afreen turned around and took a step forward.

"I'm Azaan Khan by the way" Azaan said from behind her. She paused in her step and did a quick 180 degree turn. She looked at his outstretched hand and shy smile, and any form of hesitancy instantly left her as she put her small hand into his larger, manly one. "Afreen Hasan." Afreen, he thought, suited her perfectly.

She slowly took her hand away once she heard approaching footsteps. Turning around, she unknowingly brushed her long hair across Azaan's face, completely entrancing him yet again. He only opened his eyes when he felt someone's voice behind him. "Excuse me" the person said. A bit annoyed, Azaan moved out of the way and then faced the person. The voice had belonged to a tall and slender girl. Clad in dress pants and a shirt with a stylish tie, Anjali Gupta reflected modesty and attitude. Slightly intimidated, Azaan took a step back and returned to his locker.

Once he turned around, he took notice of the other people who had entered the locker room without his knowledge. I'm totally oblivious to everything around me today, he thought to himself. Finally back to his complete senses, he took a look around at his fellow interns.

Another simple yet elegant girl was standing at her locker, dressed in an orange shalwar suit with her open hair flying. Yeh Saari acchi conservative type larkiyan hain, sivaye uss I'm-all-that type, (All look like nice, conservative girls except that one attitudish one) he thought to himself, indirectly referring to Anjali in the latter.

Ridhimma closed her locker and, giving him a polite smile, nervously walked away without introducing herself. Anjali slammed her locker and confidently followed her. Afreen gently closed her locker as well, deciding to follow suit. Azaan waited until she was a few steps ahead before following her out. He wasn't sure if she was aware of his presence, but he was definitely aware of her. He couldn't help but look at her reflection in the windows as she passed.

While walking, he quickly jerked back as he realized she'd stopped at a door. This must be the conference room Kabir Bhai told me about, he thought.

Instead of immediately entering the room as he expected her to, Afreen put her hands together and prayed that her day goes well. Yet again, Azaan was awed by this beauty in white. With a wide smile on his face, he dreamily watched his angel in white. This day was going better than expected, he thought.

***

No questions this time, but constructive feedback is much appreciated. 😊

kimmu thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#25
I loved it.. 👏 👏 Can't wait to see what happens when Ridz and Armaan meet... I loved Afreen and Azaans meeting.. he's falling for her already lol... great job continue soon!! 😃
nidha1983 thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#26
really a sweet one please update it soon

Aapki dosti ki ek nazar chahiye;
Dil hai beghar use ek Ghar chahiye
Bas yun hi saath chalte raho ae dost;
Yeh Dosti hume umar bhar chahiye.
Edited by kvn1983 - 17 years ago
hinz thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#27

Hey Madz

Cheers for doin this hun
Will be waiting for the next part 😉
Cont real soon ahem ahem

I love Azaan so much here,Afreen is one beautiful girl
Really well depicted 👏
You really do give awesome descriptions,thats what makes the ff more interstin

Love u Madz
🤗
Please continue here
I'm sure you will get loads of good response

Edited by hinanaziri - 17 years ago
Dark Love thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#28

Originally posted by: kimmu

I loved it.. 👏 👏 Can't wait to see what happens when Ridz and Armaan meet... I loved Afreen and Azaans meeting.. he's falling for her already lol... great job continue soon!! 😃



Thanks Kimmu! AR come in the next part =D

Originally posted by: kvn1983

really a sweet one please update it soon

Aapki dosti ki ek nazar chahiye;
Dil hai beghar use ek Ghar chahiye
Bas yun hi saath chalte raho ae dost;
Yeh Dosti hume umar bhar chahiye.



Beautiful quote! 👏👏👏 Cont'ing soon! 😳

Originally posted by: swansea

amazin sweety
loved it loads



Thanks hon! 😳

Originally posted by: hinanaziri

Hey Madz

Cheers for doin this hun
Will be waiting for the next part 😉
Cont real soon ahem ahem

I love Azaan so much here,Afreen is one beautiful girl
Really well depicted 👏
You really do give awesome descriptions,thats what makes the ff more interstin

Love u Madz
🤗
Please continue here
I'm sure you will get loads of good response



Thanks so much Hina! I'm cont'ingg sooonn! Patience girl 😆
SuhanaSafar thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#29
Awesome chapter Madz! 👏

Afreen seems like a very sweet girl. Love how she tried to help Azaan with his lock. And being the typical guy he is, he tried to refuse her help! 😆 So cute! Hehe...It's also adorable how he's so taken aback by her on the very first meeting. I wonder how he's going to keep his mind on his patients. The impressions that Azaan had of Riddhima and Anjali were interesting. I like that you used that technique instead of just describing them in narrative.

Can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon yaar. 😉
Dark Love thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#30

Originally posted by: SuhanaSafar

Awesome chapter Madz! 👏 Thanks Rabia!

Afreen seems like a very sweet girl. Love how she tried to help Azaan with his lock. And being the typical guy he is, he tried to refuse her help! 😆 lol srsly they're all the same yaar. (that line reminds me of 'Ladki Kyon' [random I know] 😆) So cute! Hehe...It's also adorable how he's so taken aback by her on the very first meeting. I wonder how he's going to keep his mind on his patients. Me too. Esp if they have duties together 😆The impressions that Azaan had of Riddhima and Anjali were interesting. I like that you used that technique instead of just describing them in narrative. Thank you 😳

Can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon yaar. 😉 Lol just your luck I have some of these written already 😆

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