CKP III - Page 100

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Ashu25

@Ashu25

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 7 years ago

#991

Originally posted by: RedGarnet

I haven't watched it but hearing great reviews. Is it that good?

Dont know ya

I havent watched it too

Am hearing great reviews as well...

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 7 years ago

#992

Kalpana is right

Regular people are like Harit. R&B exists only in stories. Most people I know are afraid of societal rules and will conduct themselves a certain way around people they care about

R&B was almost gleeful when he flaunted his habits in front of Mr Iyer. I never wrote a chapter from Mr Iyer's POV but he would be really hurt is my assumption.

My 10 year old was snooping around his brother's Mac Book, he kept showing me chat conversations the kid had in college with friends. I asked him to stop snooping

I felt like I dont trust him. Thats a wrong feeling to have. He has never given me one reason to go through his things.

I dont even read his text messages when his phone pings when he is in the shower

If he wants us to know something he would tell us is my approach

Edited by Nisha0604 - 7 years ago

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RedGarnet

@RedGarnet

Explorer

Posted: 7 years ago

#993

Agree with Kalpana & Nisha! Sometimes people will have to pretend just not to hurt the feelings of their closed ones.
My husband occasionally drinks beer or wine in a casual setting at neighbor's or friend's house. My mil who is pretty conservative when it comes to traditions & rituals knows about this but is decent enough not to intervene.
I usually don't like to offer drinks to the guests when I host but in the last few years things changed where I had to allow this in my house though I don't drink. But when my parents came, I had to hide those liquor bottles from their sight. Because my parents are ultra conservative when it came to alcohol, meat and smoking and they won't even be in a right mind to take it even if I explain to them. Yes my hubs and I have to pretend we follow the ways we were brought up with in front of them. I really wish we don't have to, but life is such that!

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Ashu25

@Ashu25

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 7 years ago

#994

I feel the same about my in laws 🤣

They are so bloody pretentious ...hiding under blankets of lies all the time! It turns out, my husband is also the same...hand in glove with his parents and I couldnt read him before my marriage!

Its so frustrating when u are only speaking the truth and being the way you are and the others do not co operate and find faults with whatever you do or say.

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 7 years ago

#995

Originally posted by: RedGarnet
Agree with Kalpana & Nisha! Sometimes people will have to pretend just not to hurt the feelings of their closed ones.
My husband occasionally drinks beer or wine in a casual setting at neighbor's or friend's house. My mil who is pretty conservative when it comes to traditions & rituals knows about this but is decent enough not to intervene.
I usually don't like to offer drinks to the guests when I host but in the last few years things changed where I had to allow this in my house though I don't drink. But when my parents came, I had to hide those liquor bottles from their sight. Because my parents are ultra conservative when it came to alcohol, meat and smoking and they won't even be in a right mind to take it even if I explain to them. Yes my hubs and I have to pretend we follow the ways we were brought up with in front of them. I really wish we don't have to, but life is such that!

Oh yeah

I know its extremely common. I understand where parents come from. I am one, I have a a grown kid too. It would hurt me a lot to know if he was eating meat. Or drinking

There is no happy outcome in both cases. Later in life if he marries a white woman and starts eating pork and beef its going to break my heart to pieces

I would rather he not tell us he is. I am OK with being lied to actually.

Same story in our house with beer and alcohol RG. I hide it when family visits. Yes I admit I lead a life of duplicity and lies😕

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 7 years ago

#996

I think RG our generation is in an unfair situation. I dont think this many Hindu vegetarians migrated overseas in this proportion before the 1990s

I am not a bigot sorry, I have to say Hindu because of the deeply religious views some of our families hold

We are suddenly trying to understand the freedom and the opportunities and the entertainment choices available in abundance here and struggle not to partake because thats not how we were raised

I know my kids' kids, or our grandkids wont be so torn, because their Dads grew up here and knew of everything. So when they interact or visit their kids they will be open to seeing a stocked liqor cabinet and the odds of my grandkids marrying vegetarian Iyers are basically ZERO

Lets face it, we are talking about 2038+

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 7 years ago

#997

I frequently hear disappointment in my mother's voice when she announces how my aunts or uncles' grandkids are engaged to people they met at work WITHOUT MATCHING JATHAGAM (kundali)

She is unable to comprehend how it can be a happy marriage.

I love 90 things about being an Iyer I HATE 10 things. So I am selectively passing on only those things that are kind and respectful about Hinduism

I am shunning the bad things, so I will never teach my kids those. My kids will take that 90 and find out they only like 80 or 70 things...

No wonder, nobody is a "pure" Iyer anymore, like they used to be. My Dad does not have a kudumi/bodee, does not wear the traditional dhoti (just the regular one). My Mom does not wear a 9 yard saree. She only wears it twice a year, or once max. They dont fast 25 days a month, we dont have a havan for every small festival like we were supposed to

Edited by Nisha0604 - 7 years ago

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Endless_sky

@Endless_sky

Navigator

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#998

Love how the story is progressing and how the characters are developing...

But also love the discussions that happen here.

I tthink a lot of people are living a double life as they find balance and learn. Especially when they are part of two cultures or worlds. I sometimes find myself in the same situation where I hide a side of myself from family. Not because what I am doing is wrong but it is different from what my family is accustomed to which makes it harder for them to except. At times it is easier to live a double life and other times it is extremely difficult.

Edited by Kaval05 - 7 years ago

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 7 years ago

#999

Welcome to the club Kaval, honesty is over rated👏

Do the best you can. What your family dont know, wont hurt em. Unless you are a drug mule or human trafficker I dont think its a big deal

You captured it quite well. We are part of two different worlds. I enjoy the luxury, comfort and freedom here. I love the traditions and rituals there. But cannot take a head bath at 4 AM every morning and pray for 2 hours before going to work. I know ISKCON people do that here, even today.

At the same time, I dont smoke drink or do drugs.

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 7 years ago

#1000

Chandu ki Maasi

2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th 5^th day were better. She got into the swing of things at work, fought traffic jams and June evening aandhis/dust storms in Delhi, picked up the kid haggled over vegetable prices and made dinner, and discovered Chandu had emptied water out of both drums in the bathroom

The landlord aunty/original owner Mrs Bagga told her she could get "some water but not a lot"

After a short unsatisfying shower when she called Harit he was either watching a match and had his phone on mute or asleep or debating which team would win the IPL and didn't quite hear the phone ring

They exchanged texts every morning

"Phone uthao yaar he would chide

"Raat ko aap uthaye kya?

"Yaar match chhod dete?

"theek hai abhi apne match se flirt kar lein

"Avantikaaa

"Lawyer aap bahar hain, ghar par nahi

He sent her a couple of risque emojis

And that was that

"That's her comfort zone Bhabhi

"aise to hamara comfort zone Lucknow Medical College hai, aise thodi Alka argued

"To Harshu ko kehtin aap, tabadla karwa lete