5 weeks in 50 hours
The return to Bangalore she did not say a word to him. The apartment was empty when they returned at 8 in the evening.
There was horrendous traffic from Yelahanka to Indira Nagar. The security guard in the lobby looked shocked when he saw "Mr Narang" with a girl that looked like a bride, but yet not
Besides the mangal sootra and bindi and the pink-orange bangles there was nothing going on
Her things were being brought up before she could think coherently
The house was airconditioned and smelled fresh and clean
He opened the door to a bedroom that was in a powder blue theme, with dark blue pillows and the wall paper had the same trim.
The cabinetry in offwhite and the drapes in offwhite with a navy trim.
He asked her if she wanted to eat.
The first thing he said to her since they walked down the steps of the front porch of the 100 year old home
"You can stay here tonight" he said
"No. He wants me to leave" she said barely audible
Mr Shanbagh clutched the red pillar for support, and watched her get in the car. Turned quietly walked inside slowly.
She lay down and went to sleep
Woke up with a high fever in the middle of the night
Trauma caused illness for her, it happened when Sanchet left home, mother died and the first time her thesis was rejected
She changed out of her saree and wore her tie dye kaftan and went back to bed and lay awake
He hadnt insisted she wear a mangal sootra
He didnt even look at it when she showed up to the wedding wearing it
The registrar looking confused, the 4 witnesses he had were all "acquaintances" he said
Chirag was absent.
She went to the bathroom and opened the drawers to find a neatly organized bottles of pain killers and fever meds
Trisha also found a pair of gold karas, embellished, with simhamukh. She shut it quietly without touching it
The Cuisine Craft onboarding binder for Ready Noodle sat in her back pack
She had clothes for a week.
She didnt know what she was thinking when she had packed on Wed night at Ullal
She didnt hear him or see him until Noon the next day
He knocked even though the door was open
"Are you OK?" he asked
She sat up pulling her kaftan over her toes
"Umm.. yes" she nodded gruffly still reeling under a fever
"You look sick Trisha" he said
He used her name clinically
But it still bothered her
It reminded her of Jayadev now
She wanted to run away into his arms beg for his forgiveness and erase everything.
A serious case of buyer's remorse struck
The orange red spice colored glossy folder mocked her from inside her backpack
"I am OK" she said quietly to ward him off
"Can I call the doctor?" he asked
She shook her head
"let me turn down the air conditioning" he promised and manipulated the wall unit
She lay back down
He lingered unsure what to say to her
"I can send food" he said
"No" she said and closed her eyes
The cook showed up in an hour with soup and a grilled sandwich
she didnt appear too caring or concerned
"Doctor aayenge abhi" she said turned on the light and left her
The doctor came in to check waking her from her slumber and diagnosed it as a infection of some sort as she told him she had thrown up twice
He gave her meds... Ashvin appeared just as he was leaving
"Give it a day or two" she heard as the men left, the cook handed her her meds 4 times a day. Ashvin paused by her room and looked at her sleeping form
It took a day and a few hours she felt better
She sat up weakly wondering how to go give her Aanu the papers
She didnt want him to believe it was a love marriage or elopement
This would all be in vain if he never gets to see what she had done for him.
She spent every waking minute wondering how Jayadev and Aanu were doing
Jayadev hadnt called her once
the realization that he may now KNOW killed her on the inside
Maybe one of the Thursday hawkers told him when he came home on August 10th?
Or maybe Aanu called him?
She wallowed in ruinous guilt as she realized she owed him atleast that phone call
He had been nothing but kind and generous and loving.
Everytime he made Rs.1000 or Rs. 2000 extra by doing overtime at the auditor's office he worked at, he would bring her a saree
Shame and self-condemnation had physically stopped her from packing anything he had given her.
She crumbled into a heap remembering every piece of clothing he had given her.
She smacked her forehead and sobbed into her backpack
She realized no one will ever love her again because she had thrown away the one person who loved her like nobody else could be loved
"Oh why?" "Oh why?" she fumed...
The dishonor she had brought to Aanu by her misbehavior she hadnt begun to scratch the surface yet.
She relived the last 5 weeks in the 50 hours of entering Ashvin's home and wondered why she didnt use her head more.
An exercise in futility, she reimagined every conversation she had with Aanu, snorted her clothes to inhale any remaining scent of her home.
Like receding ocean waves they were all gone. nothing to cling to nothing to grasp on. merging.. invisible
the cook brought food and left with half empty trays
Trisha showered and wore a mirrorwork skirt and a yellow kurti
Ashvin appeared on August 13th, around 3 PM...
"Do you feel better" he asked about her health
"No" she said her eyes filling up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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