CHAPTER-32
FOREVER AND EVER
A few days passed since the 'breakfast incident', as Shivaay has named it in his thoughts. Since that eventful day, he just couldn't stop himself from thinking about her. His feelings are getting a hang over him. Wait? Feelings? Does he really have any kinds of feeling for her? Absolutely NOT! How could he--- Well, how could he not? She is just so... perfect..Everything about her is so so perfect. Like; Her eyes, they sparkle every time she smile and that is always. Her soft black curls are just wild and carefree when left open, just like her. Her lips, they are just so pink and attrctive. Her face is serenely beautiful and he just couldn't take his eyes off her. Just like now, he is sitting by the pool, his eyes focused on his room where currently Om, Ishana, Prinku and Anika are having a somewhat comedic dicussion as all of them seems to laugh their heads off. And he is sitting alone, thinking about her and looking, better word starring, at her laughing. He smiled as her melodic laughter ran through his ears. She is saying something to the group, out of breath from all the laughing, but still going on and on. 'Typical Anika! Ek baar bolna shuru karti hai to rukti hi nahi!' He shook his head smiling. Aah! Smiling, he is doing that a lot these days. And for no apparent reason but just because of her. Good shares of his days are given just to her, to see her smiling, to see her laughing, to hear her speak her not-so-common language. He even found himself following her around the house. Which, he believed to be a little creepy at first. But what amazed and shocked him the most were his thoughts. The first think he thought after waking up, was her and the last thing he thought before falling asleep, was her. In fact, he remember correctly, just a day before, when he didn't felt like waking up, his mind had tricked him, with a unconscious thought 'you would get to see her early' and he was jolted awake. This was SAYING something. Something that he didn't want to accept BUT.. could just only accept. He had no choice but to agree that Shivaay Singh Oberoi is madly, deeply and hoplessly in love with Anika. Just Anika.
He is no more in denial stage now. He loves her and he accepts that. But there comes a problem with acceptance. Doesn't it? Whis is..Does she love love him back? He seriously has no idea about it. Suddenly, feeling very conscious of his feelings he stood up and started pacing around, his hand folded against his chest, brows furrowed in concentration and an uncertain expression visible throughout his face. What if she doesn't love him? What if he tells her all his feelings and she breaks his heart? Wait... but how the hell will he tell her his feelings. How the hell is he supposed to say 'I love you'? What if he do find the guts to say those three words but she laughs out, on his face?!
Suddenly, Shivaay collided with something hard. After stumbling a little he looked up to see Om standing in front of him.
Om---- Shivaay? Tu aise kyo ghum raha hai? Kya hua? (He says with a slight amused expression)
Shivaay---- Vo...Vo main...bas aise hi! (He rubs the back of his neck nervously, clearly lying)
Om---- Tu mujhse juth bol raha hai, Shivaay? (He narrows his eyes at him)
Shivaay---- Kya... Main? Main...main kyo jhut bolunga? (He laughs a little too casually)
Om still stares at him, his eyes narrowing. Shivaay curses under his breath and sighs.
Shivaay---- Ok! Thik hai! Main bol raha tha jhut. (He sits down on the couch nearby, holding his face in his hands)
Om---- Ok.. so what's the matter? Itna pareshaan kyo hai? (He also sits beside Shivaay)
Shivaay---- Kuch nahi Om... bas thode dino se ek baat pareshan kar rahi hai. (He says flatly)
Om---- Kaunsi baat Shivaay? (He askes in a concerned tone)
Shivaay looks at him uncertainly. Should he tell him? Om sees the hesitancy in his eyes.
Om---- Shivaay... agar tere man mai koi baat hai to tu mujhe bata sakta hai. Maybe I can help you. (Om enncourages him to speak)
Shivaay takes a deep breath and looks at Om in the eye.
Shivaay---- Om, I... I think that maybe... I... IThinkILoveHer. (He mutters the last part)
Om---- Shivaay, mujhe sunai nahi diya thoda tez bol.
Shivaay takes a long breath.
Shivaay---- I-Think-I-Love-her. (He says this loud but very fast, so Om couldn't understand the wordings)
Om---- Tughe batana hai ya nahi? Nahi batana to mai jaata hu. (He wqs about to stand up but Shivaay stops him)
Shivaay---- Nahi! Ruk, mai batata hu.
Om---- To bata.
Shivaay---- Lekin meri ek shart hai.
Om---- Kaisi shart?
Shivaay---- Mujhe promise kar mera mazaak nahi udayega.
Om gives him a funny look. "Shivaay is behaving really strange." He thoughts but nods anyway, accepting his 'shart'.
Shivaay---- I LOVE HER! (he blurts out, closing his eyes, not wanting to see his brother's reaction to the news)
A few seconds passes and Om doesn't respond. So Shivaay slowly opens his eyes, ready for the teasing. But he is surprised to see a smile on Om's face and a somewhat releaved look. He stares at him for a second before Om grins and pulls him in a choking hug.
Om---- I am so happy for you Shivaay! Thank god you realised your feelings in time. Nahi to mujhe lag raha tha mujhe tughe 'The Love Talk' deni padegi. (He chuckled as he strssed on The Love Talk)
Om pulls back from the hug but his hand still on Shivaay's shoulder. Shivaay smiles at him slightly but his smile is son replaced by a frown. Om notices this and raise his eyebrow, giving him a questioning look.
Shivaay---- Om, I am not sure if what I feel for her can be love. Maybe it is just an attraction. But I know I haven't felt like this for anyone else. So, it maybe love. But again, I don't know what love is. How does it feels? Is it what I feel right now? Or is it deeper than this? I certainly know what I feel for her is deeper but... Is It Love?
Om can see the confusion in his eyes. He sighs thinking he still has to give The Love Talk to his brother who is 'usually smart but not when it come to feelings'
Om takes a deep breath, preparing himself. He will do anything to make Shivaay understand his own feelings. He has to make him realise what he is feeling right now is purely love and not just a attraction. His doubts has to be cleared before the talk ends. He will try to explain him the most complex feeling of the world in the simplest way.
Om---- Shivaay, 'Pyaar' Ye sirf ek shabd nahi hai. Usse kaafi bhadkar hai. Ye ek ehsas hai, lafz nahi, JUNOON hai. It's a magic, something beautiful yet ugly. Something heavenly yet tragic. Love can be the gorgeous reality, only reason to live. It has the power to break yet mend the person. A persons's love can make him rise to the stars but it can too crush him under the weight of the world. It can be source of power and passion but also a sour spot of weakness and misery.
Shivaay watched his brother intently. The thing he just said... it was way too deep but for the first time he could understand it. He could understand the meaning behind his words.
Om---- And Shivaay... You know you love her when she becomes the center of your world. She becomes the only reason you smile. She becomes the medicine to your all pain, a relief to your soul. You feel like you're on the top of the world when she smiles or laughs. But that world comes shattering down when a mere tear escapes her eye. You know you love her, when she takes over your life without you knowing. You know it the moment... you know that without her, there will be no you. Because if she leaves, she will be taking the whole of you with her. And you will never be the same.
"Tumhara din ki shuruat ussi se,
Dard to hai par jaan bhi hai vo,
Kushiyon ka pegaam bhi hai vo,
Uske bina tum kuch nahi ho,
Kyonki tumhare jeene ki sab aas bhi hai vo,
Duaao mai to thi hi, Ab khayaalo mai bhi hai
Ankhon mai to thi hi, Ab khwaabo mai bhi hai
Tumhara sab kuch ab uska kyo lagta hai,
Uska chehra tumhare aaine se jhalakta hai
Aur..Uski sirf ek muskaan ke liye dil tadapta hai
Bin uske tumhara dil thoda kam dhadakta hai.
Tumahara har din khatam ussi pe."
Shivaay let every word sync in his mind and heart. He could relate to each and every thing Om said. He could no longer imagine his world without her. Infact, She IS his world and always will be. He can't imagine his life before he met her. How did he even lived then? She is there, in his present and he wants her to be with him in future too. He could see them holding hands and doing everything together. He can even see them fighting together, not WITH each other but FOR each other. He can imagine a future with her. Waking up beside her, seeing her face first, every moring. Sleeping beside her while holding her close to his heart. He smiled unkowingly at the thoughts.
Shivaay---- I... I do love her..
He whispers to himself, glad at the new revealation. Om smiles at him and stands up, after patting Shivaay's shoulder he leaves, giving Shivaay some time to himself.
Shivaay just sat there, still. His brain working out his thoughts and his heart keeping a check on his new discovered feelings. He has to confess to her.. He can't wait any longer, keeping his feelings to himself. But will she reciprocate the feeling? Well, he has to find it out. How should he tell her this? He would do something simple. Like, he will just walk to her and say 'I Love You'.
Wait? Did he really want it to be THAT simple... He could say it in a simple yet special way. Like taking her out... and then maybe give her roses and say it. He thought for a moment then dismissed the idea. Because if he takes her out, only her she will get suspicious.
He want it to be simple, special and surprising. He furrowed his eyebrow in confusion. This is indeed difficult. How the hell is he supposed to confess his feelings? He did not want to make a fool of himself in front of her. So, his plan should be calculative and organised. Everything is supposed to be of her choice also, only then she would truly enjoy herself. What could he do? What..? What? He was thinking hard but then suddenly, an idea striked his mind and he almost leaped up from his seat in excitement.
This is perfect! She would love it! He would just mke some calls and get the things arranged.
Shivaay took out his phone and goes through his contract list. He looks around himself to see if there is someone present but on finding nobody , he dialed few numbers and talked over the phone for very long time. Once it was all done, he smiled and stands up. He was a little tired from all the talking so he started walking towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. A smile still adoring his face. He started humming some random tune that came to his mind. He was feeling rather light and upbeated. He was thinking about his plan. He will tell her his feelings soon. By today evening, she will know. Suddenly, Shivaay bumped into someone. He held that someone almost reflexively, preventing the fall. And he was mildly surprised to find her of all people. Her eyes were shut and she was gripping him like a lifeline. He admired her face closely. No doubt that she is beautiful. Anika cautiously opened her eyes to find him starring at her. His gaze was so intense. Her cheeks shaded a little pink but she maintained the eye contact, not wanting to miss the moment of examining his face so closely. They stayed like that for a moment but it felt like hours. Shivaay finally helped her in a standing position, not breaking their eyelock. Anika started to move but found she couldn't. His hands were still firmly planted on her waist.
Anika---- Billu ji... mujhe jaana hai. (Her voice came out in a whisper)
Shivaay---- To jao na... (he didn't realise that his hands were still on her waist)
Anika---- To jaane dijiye na mujhe.
She finally broke the eyelock and indicated towards his hands. He realised what she meant and pulled his hands away from her. She smiled lightly and leaves in the opposite direction. Shivaay looks at her retreating figure "No, Anika. I will never let you go... I will keep you forever and ever." he thinks. He smiles as thoughts of what will happen today evening makes their way in his head. Then he remembers he has to do something for today. He has to get 'that' special thing. He checks the time on his phone, gets out of the mansion and leaves in his car.
Thanks to everyone for the support! It means a lot to me. And things at home are still not good but they are getting there... Anyways, hope you like the chapter!
And please tell me your views, it keeps me going..
~Mystry Girl
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