Argument won and lost. Loved this chapter very much. Enjoyed reading this immensely. In first order, thank you.
A few argument pointers hypothetical and not so hypothetical
1) in light of Argument over Subbu or his mother which BTW was also below the belt from dude, II instead of asking him 'should I have gone against Appa or say that Subbu listened to his mom' ... she should have actually argued, in a hypothetical scenario , if in a unlikely scenario savita Bhalla objected to their marriage, wouldn't he have convinced his mom to bring her around to accept his marriage to II to get her parental blessing or would he have still felt compelled to elope? Or if his mom had been alive, would he have still suggested to Manny to just do as she pleases and not bother about Savita Bhalla.?
2) Assuming if Nivi or sahana or Ved or sid at the age of 19 , let's also assume that they are whiz kids financially independent at 19 just come and announce that they are marrying XYZ, would it be easy for dude to shrug his shoulders and say that you are your own individuals as you are legally not minors anymore?
3) If parental interference is a sticker of an issue , what about adult children's interference in their parents lives? Why does dude feel so much hatred to what his father supposedly did to his mother? Why is he not able to shrug off Ranjan's supposed infidelity towards his mom as an independent adult choice. This third argument raises our shackles right? Anger bubbles in us and rightfully so? Here the implication is moral , one imposed on ourselves individually to our conscience and one perceived by the society in general.
4) why does dude feel peeved that his Dad did not consider him fit to have accompanied him to Mumbai instead of chachu?
For the why's of all the above argument pointers, I would believe that parent children relationship, the emotional bonding in it ..irrespective of time or age...gives rise to mutual obligations as well as mutual expectations that we feel bound to fulfill..to give and receive mutually.
At what point/ age/ stage of our life do we as individuals feel independent of parental control or authority? It's tough to answer this. It's not black or white to say that the moment I'm Financially independent, I'm free and not bound to listen to my parents.
Majority of parents just don't procreate and abandon their child. They do assume care and that care obligates them to make decisions on behalf of their children , assume parental authority to do so till they raise them to be emotionally , financially and morally independent. This care , authority and obligation is the same that dude feels towards his children too.
It's unfortunate that some parents like Appa or Subbu's mom
Don't let go overly possessive smothering their independence in the name of love but then there are also instances like Manny's where the parent like Ranjan Bhalla doesn't genuinely trust the maturity of his adult child to be capable of making a decision , a commitment as big as marriage. Here he still feels obligated to question her commitment yet again assuming the mantle of parental authority that care obligates him to be responsible for.
Things and future of this life long intertwined parent child relationship is just simply so much easier with parental blessings as it's tough to argue against mutual dependence emotionally .
Edited by Errantnomad - 8 years ago
