Arshi FF : Love, am I not worth it ?
Chapter 18
Arnav sat on the ground looking at the sky. A plane passed above him. In the business class seat of that plane sat a woman looking pale and weak but determination shown in her eyes.
Khushi was sitting in her seat with Arav on her lap who was fast asleep. Jules and Neha sat on her either sides with Aryan and Arush. She was going back to London. Turning to her left she saw Neha sitting there. She was lost in her thoughts. Khushi sighed. Her friend had suffered a lot in her life but she had survived it.
Thinking about Neha, her mind drifted to the darkest day of her life. The day which changed her life forever. The day she gained her best friend but also lost a lot of things. The day which showed the reality of her life. That reality which had broken her forever. Which had changed her life and existence. The day which had made the innocent, naive Khushi Agnihotri to Anu.
Flashback
Khushi was the princess of Agnihotris. Everybody loved her. Everyone showered their attention and love on her except her parents. Her father was always busy in business. He rarely got time to spend with his daughter but loved her a lot. But her mother was a different case altogether. She never paid attention on Khushi. For the world Aastha Agnihotri was an amazing mother who loved her adopted daughter more than even a real mother would love her own daughter.
Khushi was brought up by her Tai and Badimaa. Her Beejibaa was also another person who showered motherly love on her. Khushi always craved for her mother's love from the time she got her senses. She would always run behind her mother for her one glance, her one loving word but never got one. But her other three mother figures fulfilled her life with love. With passing of time she started living with the fact that her mother is like that even though she still craved for her motherly love.
But one incident shattered her every hope. She lost her faith that she would ever get her mother's love. Her trust in her mother was brutally ruined.
It was annual day in the school where Khushi and Shreya studied. Khushi was just five year old at that time and Shreya was eight year old. Nobody was there at home. Everybody had gone to attend some function. Only Aastha was there at home with the girls. Since it was annual day Aastha decided to stay back to take care of them. Beejibaa was also on leave as some emergency had come at her home. So Aastha was supposed to bring the girls back home.
First it was Shreya's performance then Khushi's. Shreya secured third position in her competition. Aastha was thrilled on knowing that. She along with Shreya left to celebrate on her success forgetting that she had to bring Khushi also with her. Khushi was left back in the school.
After sometime it was Khushi's performance. She finished her performance and secured first place. She was waiting for her mother who was supposed to take her back home. Minutes turned into hours but there was no sign of her mother. Everyone left school. Finally after hours of waiting, Khushi decided to go home alone.
She was walking through the road when a jeep came in front of her and pulled her into it. She was frightened. She tried to scream but someone closed her mouth. After sometime, they reached an old warehouse. They took her inside. She was scared seeing the place.
Those people who brought her there, were part of the gang who kidnapped children, took out their eyes or cut their hands and legs and made them beg to get money. There were many children, some blind, some dumb, some handicapped and also some children who looked weak even to stand.Seeing everyone Khushi was scared and started crying.
They kept her in a dark room. After sometime some men came and took her out to their leader. From childhood itself Khushi was a beautiful child. She had silver blue eyes which were very unique and made her look like a pure Angel. When the leader saw her the first thing that caught his eyes was her enchanting soulful eyes.
He decided to take her eyes out. Khushi was numb. Blood drained from her face. She was terrified. That man started coming near her with a knife. Scared she stepped back. After few steps she collided with the wall. The man came closer and closer. He was almost near her eyes with the knife. Khushi could see her eyes in the sharp edges of the knife. When the knife was just one inch away from her eyes, a phone call came for him.
He went out asking his men to lock her in the dark room. Khushi was shivering. She had never been so much afraid in her life. Still she could see that knife in front of her eyes. She cried.
Khushi was just a small five year child. She was surely frightened but not scared out of her wits. She didn't lost courage. After sometime she wiped her tears and sat straight. She knew that if she had to save herself then she had to do something. By sitting and crying like this nothing was going to happen.
At that time a girl two to three years elder than her came there. She was looking weak and pale. She had a piece of chapatti in her hand. Sitting beside her she offered her the chapatti which Khushi denied.
"What's your name?" Khushi asked.
"Neha." Came her reply in small voice.
"I am Khushi. Do you stay here?"
Neha nodded her head.
"From when? And why?" Khushi further asked innocently.
"From the time I remember I am here only. These people keep me here. Everyday they take me to streets to beg. During evening they bring me back and take all the money I got. Sometime they give me food otherwise nothing." She said emotionlessly.
"Why didn't you go away from here. Why are you staying here if they are so bad." Khushi asked.
Neha gave her sympathetic smile. She was so naive and innocent, she thought. "Once I tried. But they caught me. They beat me so much. Once another boy tried to run away. They beat him so much that he died. After that I never tried. Also where will I go after running away from here." She answered her.
"Home." Khushi answered smiling.
"I don't have a home." Neha looked down.
"Where are your parents?"
"I don't know about my parents. I haven't seen them. I don't where they are. If they are alive or not. Once I asked them about my parents. They beat me and told me that my parents are not alive." Her eyes became moist.
Khushi also had tears in her eyes. She was an innocent child. She didn't knew about the cruel world outside. For her all these were new and hearing all these made her innocent mind weep for the stranger girl sitting in front of her.
"Don't worry. You come with me. We will go to my home." Khushi gave her hope.
"No. It can't happen. Once you come here you can't go back." Neha said feeling pity for the innocent soul.
"Why? Why can't I go back. I won't stay here. I will go back to my home." Khushi said firmly.
"Look, it is not possible. These people won't let you go." Neha tried to make her understand.
"But I will go. I will run away from this place and go back to my home. You also come with me. We will go together." Khushi said determinedly.
"My family might be waiting for me. My Tai, Badimaa everyone would be worried if they don't find me. I have to go back home before they reach. So I will go." Khushi was firm on her decision.
She started searching for ways to escape from that place. Finally she spotted a window hidden behind some boxes. She somehow removed that boxes and climbed up to the window. She also coaxed Neha to come with her who was initially scared thinking about the consequences they have to face if they were caught. But later Neha also relented. Together they ran away from that place holding each other's hand.
Flashback ends
Khushi came out of her thoughts. Neha was clutching her hand tightly in her sleep. Neha was like that she always clung to Khushi. While she was in orphanage whenever Khushi visited her she would cling to her and when Khushi had to go back she cried buckets. Later when both of them got admission in the international school where they studied, from then they stayed together.
For Neha, Khushi was her mother hen who protected her. Even though that night she lost a lot of things she got an amazing friend in the form of Neha. Neha was the gift that she got that night which she cherished.
But that night also gave her a lot of pain. From that day she started fearing darkness. She started fearing her own self. She couldn't look at mirror because whenever she saw her eyes, the image that knife one inch away from her haunted her. That image frightened her.
She started getting afraid seeing her own eyes. She started getting panic attacks seeing her image. Finally doctor advised her to wear colour lenses to overcome her fear. She still wore lenses. She wore lenses every moment. Even while sleeping. Nobody knows that the color of her is not hazel colored but silver blue.
She till date couldn't look at her face without lenses. She still feared her own eyes. Her life was broken that day. She lost faith in relationships. It is said that the most sacred relationship is between a mother and a child. It is based on the trust that the child has on its mother. But Khushi lost trust in that relationship itself. She lost her trust on her mother. She could never trust her mother again completely.
After loosing her trust on her relationship with her mother, she lost trust in all other relationships. She couldn't trust anybody anymore. She always had issues with it.
Still she couldn't hate her mother, she loved her mother. She craved for her mother's love. She did everything her mother said thinking that she would love her. But it never happened. She sacrificed all her happiness, her principles, her every wish in quest of gaining her mother's love. But she never got even an ounce of it. Her mother's constant ignorance killed her belief in relationships.
It disappointed her. Every time her mother pushed her away from herself, she started loosing a part of her faith in herself. She lost faith in all relationships of her life.Once when somebody pushed her away she never trusted that person again. She always had issues with believing people who had hurt her once.
Once anybody kept her away or ignored her, she never went behind that person afraid of getting heartbreak again. It was the reason she never went back to Raizadas asking their help. Their constant ignorance towards her had forced her to keep distance from them. She was afraid of another heartbreak like she always got from her mother. She was afraid that they would also push her away.
Her broken childhood had left a deep scar in her heart and mind that she couldn't trust anybody. She was on constant fear of getting hurt. So she guarded her innocent heart from people around her so that they couldn't hurt her, broke her. She only bared her heart to few selected people on whom she had faith.
But now she was broken completely. Her mother's betrayal broke her. The person for whom she did everything broke her trust. She felt disgusted of herself that she was born from that selfish woman's womb. She felt disgusted that she did all this for her. She sacrificed her principles, let those criminals out, denied justice to people whose lives were ruined by that three monsters.
She sacrificed her happiness, her career, her life everything for that woman. But today she ruined not only her life but also her kids life. No she won't forgive her ever. All these years of pain and hurt she will forget. But this betrayal she will never forget. Today she is cutting all relation with her mother.
Now she didn't care what happened to her mother. She will punish everyone who had ruined her and her kids' life. She didn't have any sympathy left for those people. All of them will suffer.
She was not a coward to run away. She is going to London for now. But she will come back. She was not a fool to let them go. She knew Sheetal and Shreya feared her. They knew that she was the only one who was capable of ruining them in whole Agnihotri and Raizada clan.
So they stroke her. They knew once she falls weak then nobody will be there to stop them from their targets. That was the reason they always hurt her, tried to broke her. But now they won't be spared. They had to pay for each and every sins they have committed.
But her first target was Agnihotris and Raizadas. It was easy for her to expose Sheetal and Shreya and give them punishment. But she won't do that. Because then Agnihotris and Raizadas will be spared. No it can't happen. They have to pay the price of the betrayal they did to her. Their best punishment will be betrayal of the same people for whom they betrayed her. They would be betrayed by the same people whom they trusted.
She knew once she is out of the picture, Sheetal and Shreya would strike. They would ruin Agnihotris and Raizadas. They have to face it. Then only they will understand her hurt and pain. They have to know how it feels to be betrayed by the people you love, trust and expect to protect you and be with you. Then only she will get justice for the pain she had endured for twenty years of her life.
She had asked her Baba (Girish) to follow every movements of those three (Sheetal, Shreya and Mahesh). She won't leave them so easily. Baba won't arrest them but they would be under observation 24/7. Like this they will be on constant fear of getting caught. That would be their punishment till she comes back. They had to leave their every moment in fear and anxiety. Each and every moment of their life would be a living hell thinking that they will be finished the next moment. That would give them a good lesson. They will know how she feared every moment of her life thinking about her Ponies' life.
She looked around. Neha, Jules and Ponies were sleeping peacefully. Each one of them had clutched her tightly. Jules and Neha was hugging her by either sides. Arav was sitting on her lap hugging her from front. Aryan and Arush were leaning on her clutching her dress from either side sitting in Jules and Neha's laps.
She sighed. This was her world. These five souls are her reason of existence now. She had to live for them. She had to start a new life for them. For that she had to be strong. She can't stay at this place now which gave her lot of pain. To have a new beginning, she had to go away from here.
She will come back. She will come back to punish those who hurt her, ruined her and her babies' lives. This is her promise to herself.
Precap: A leap and a new beginning.
So this was the end of first part of the story. The sad chapters end here. From next chapter you will see a new Khushi. Regarding the chapter, first the flashback is incomplete. That flashback has two parts, the second part will come later in the story. But don't worry that won't be completely sad one.
So coming to the chapter, I want to clarify certain things. First many of you said that there is communication gap between Khushi and her family. Well I think I gave you the reason for it. It was because her broken childhood and past made it difficult for her to trust people so that she could share her problems with them. She maintained her distance from people to save herself from getting hurt.
From next chapter a new beginning, hope you all will like. Please comment. I have read all your comments. If someone has any question you can ask. Before going to next chapter, I will post a question answer update if necessary. But pls ask before noon. Any doubts you can ask me about the story. Also pls pls comment and tell if I should continue it or not. If you're not liking the story I will end it.
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