SS 53 Software Symphony - Page 107

Originally posted by: swathi1990

I agree to most of the points...but there is also an other side to the same coin...

Take for example, I am an only child for my parents (no brothers or sisters)...nalaiku for my marriage, everything shud be done only by my parents...munns mathiri the guys and girls dont marry young when the parents are healthy...today, I am 25 and my parents are 60+. They have sugar, blood pressure and mootu vali...so they cant single handedly take care of all the arrangements...and in today's world how many of ur cousins/ brothers or brother's family will help u ??? They have their own kids...their son is coming from office at 11 from iny/tcs...some are having boards etc...In this case, I will hire a marriage planner...ithula onnum thappu illaye ??? Expecting it to be a family event where everyone puts their effort is no more possible...As for the extravagance, ppl do it if they have money...They wanted their child's function to be special...a happiness at the end...avlo than...according to me, if u have means to spend, go ahead and do it...there is nothing wrong in that...

Most times, the balance is missing Swa. If the bride , groom and parents and the immediate family handle it smoothly where their happiness is not compromised with the extravagance then you could call it joy.
But bling and extravagance when it starts corrupting the mindset and leads to generational gaps in planning the wedding is a problem.
And now when we have blended marriages, it's even more difficult.

Originally posted by: Errantnomad

Most times, the balance is missing Swa. If the bride , groom and parents and the immediate family handle it smoothly where their happiness is not compromised with the extravagance then you could call it joy.
But bling and extravagance when it starts corrupting the mindset and leads to generational gaps in planning the wedding is a problem.
And now when we have blended marriages, it's even more difficult.

Swathy let me clarify it is not the outsourcing for convenience , doing what one thinks is necessary what i was highlighting...it is the stretching beyond means..to keep up with the Jones'...let me present a few scenarios...I was having dinner at a wedding reception with a family i know at the Bangalore Palace ...the girl was sharing with her parents see this is what i want for my wedding and as the list went on i saw the embarrassment increasing to squirming to discomfort to frustration...when the parents tried to say something the girl pursuing liberal arts snapped after all you have two daughters can't you give us a wedding we want...
the pain in the parents eyes...the worries they harbour...A couple working as gardeners on campus for around a year walked up saying give me a six digit loan...his daughter had completed 9th grade...he wanted her married off as she was getting a lot of male attention...there was no way i could sanction it ...they had a budget of around 4 lakhs with a two wheeler as dowry...
They would have to work atleast 15 years each to pay only the marriage expense... the point i am making is it ...Reflects attitudes and values and means of both generations...

Swa, three weddings last year in my extended family.
All three were blended marriages.

Where one involved bride, groom and their parents concurring on keeping it balanced with regards to celebrations. The family loves a celebrated famous singer whose music they were keen on.
They looked at his cost and consciously decided no inspite of being able to afford the moon if they have to. Instead they spent that money in transportation and stuff where elders were made very comfortable where they were picked up from home, they had a special dining hall where the sixty plus did not have to climb any stairs or struggle with managing the bouffet.
They spent a lot and we as family pitched in to make it a truly happy event.

The other two weddings, they struggled to agree in terms of how the weddings were to be held.
One instance, the girl and her parents couldn't see eye to eye. She wanted her wedding in a certain way that would suit the interest of her to be in laws and the parents couldn't afford it. The girl informed her parents, and got married in the presence of only her friends and asked her father to transfer the FD he had originally planned to her and upped the place.

The third one, the iyer parents were really highly stretched to make the wedding happen according to Rajasthani traditions and all for their son's happiness.
The wedding happened in a place not conducive for most relatives to attend and the parents were mere spectators to their own sons wedding when they had no clue as to what was happenning when the their son and DIL were revolving in a raised platform when they were exchanging garlands.
These are the gaps that I was talking about Swa.

Swathi

We are lamenting the rise of a puerile celebrity culture that seems to be defining our lives, and who knows very soon even our public policy


I am all for spending money if you got it😃

Unfortunately most of the excesses we read and watch are not those.
Nowadays it seems to be all about "girl power" "woman power" "Edgy" "Bold" "Brave" "You go girl" to defend anything horrendously wrong
Sridevi and Boney Kapoor while Boney's wife battled and died of cancer, we heard "she is doing whatever gives her happiness" "Sri deserves to be happy"🤢

"Finally Indian woman lives however she wants to"😡

"Its OK for Freida to dump the gharelu husband, she found success with Slumdog, she looks better "wonly" with Dev Patel, such a cute jodi. Never mind the fact that she dumped Dev when she got to associate her name with big name fashion icons at NY👏

We Indians seem to be totally brain washed by a culture of celebrity, booze and sports, not to mention a relentless pursuit of a good time, to hell with who ever's expense it comes at

The abdication of moral sense is gleefully celebrated on social media posts of dimwitted celebrity fans "Oh! haters will be haters" "Sultan will rule" (REALLY? He is a CRIMINAL thats awaiting sentencing) "Raees will decimate" (I have not heard this actor voice ONE WORD of solidairity for India)😡

When both actors will not share a dime for any one's well being 😡

Millions waste away aping the lifestyle, hoping for a glance or an acknowledgement and bankrupting themselves pretending to live like their "idol"

Originally posted by: Errantnomad

Swa, three weddings last year in my extended family.
All three were blended marriages.

Where one involved bride, groom and their parents concurring on keeping it balanced with regards to celebrations. The family loves a celebrated famous singer whose music they were keen on.
They looked at his cost and consciously decided no inspite of being able to afford the moon if they have to. Instead they spent that money in transportation and stuff where elders were made very comfortable where they were picked up from home, they had a special dining hall where the sixty plus did not have to climb any stairs or struggle with managing the bouffet.
They spent a lot and we as family pitched in to make it a truly happy event.

The other two weddings, they struggled to agree in terms of how the weddings were to be held.
One instance, the girl and her parents couldn't see eye to eye. She wanted her wedding in a certain way that would suit the interest of her to be in laws and the parents couldn't afford it. The girl informed her parents, and got married in the presence of only her friends and asked her father to transfer the FD he had originally planned to her and upped the place.

The third one, the iyer parents were really highly stretched to make the wedding happen according to Rajasthani traditions and all for their son's happiness.
The wedding happened in a place not conducive for most relatives to attend and the parents were mere spectators to their own sons wedding when they had no clue as to what was happenning when the their son and DIL were revolving in a raised platform when they were exchanging garlands.
These are the gaps that I was talking about Swa.

Well written

I usually hear a "Oh!! The bride and groom got what they wanted" "Screw the parents and guests. ITS THEIR DAY"😡 We seem to be imbibing the worst from the West.
As many in the West turn towards vegetarianism and minimalism and yoga and not wearing footwear inside the home, and toning down weddings and birthdays, we are becoming a freak show of sorts

The couple I mentioned two weeks ago thats divorcing after the guy's 1.5 year unemployment with a one year old baby in the picture, he has a job now the last 2 years, yet... their wedding happened in Delhi and looked like Priyanka Vadra's wedding I am told

All for what?
Looks like it had everything except common sense.

Still now I don't understand what wonder Freida has done to get such a celebrity status 😕..
Just one movie which got some Oscars? What she did in the movie? One dance?
There are Indian scientists, researchers etc. in US, they never get an opportunity to pose with Michelle Obama...

Good morning everyone!

I got to read through in a blitz Some really well written opinions on the wedding fiasco, Bollywood's damaging influence and Of course the update.

Love this thread for all the action that happens here!

ER, Sri, Nisha, Swati , Putti, Namu, Nouf, EnVee , Shilpa , Shru, Jas, Kajal SR and Dristi ( I missed your post about weddings:( da). Very nice shares 😊

O thank you!

Good morning Nisha, so good to see you talking.
Missed your posts.