/ Saffron Fields/ Thread#17// AN Teaser Pg 132/ Link thread 18 Pg 1. - Page 73

Arnav...it is high time for Introspection of your own soul.

Khushi - fighting with guilt about La's suicide, worried about dad's health, bothered about parents' approval, sees Arnav with La, misconstrues situation based on half-truths, unable to communicate properly regarding her doubts, doesn't want Arnav's emotional distance but wants physical distance, makes several attempts to get Arnav to understand her POV but not really to see his POV, sees him at a bar with another woman, misunderstands, calls to clarify, misunderstands again, heartbroken.

Arnav - tortured past, misunderstood, recently single, sees no fault in starting a relationship with (another ) emotionally distraught woman, whom he loves, has disagreements with her stand on things, instead of talking it out, suggests break up and dating other people, expects her to have stopped him, rebuffs her attempts at communication but expects her to show up at doorstep, exhibits cynicism owing to previous experiences, sees Khushi with happy friends and Aman, misconstrues situation based on half-truths, set out to punish and hurt the woman who he supposedly loves but only realises it when he is about to kiss another woman, realises said woman answered Khushi's call which may have caused misunderstanding, reads previous emails, realises he may have taken it too far, heartbroken.

Have I missed something?

I understand Arnav's hurt, pain, his cynicism owing to a failed relationship and a currently complicated one, but he's being petty. He's living in denial, his mind clouded by his hurt and anger. However, that is not my problem with him. What hurts me (more than angers me) is that it took almost kissing another woman for him to realise his love for Khushi, that, he acted out of spite, took that woman with the intention of hurting and punishing Khushi. I agree he came to his senses on time, and realised the emotional fidelity part etc. But that's not enough for me. I accede that he's also human, a flawed one at that. It's ok if he wants to take his time to assess the relationship and everything, just like Khushi deserves time to sort out her issues. However, he purposefully attempts to hurt Khushi, where he knows it'll hurt her most. That for me is cutting and cruel.

Anger, they say, is a cowardly extension of sadness. It is easier to be angry with someone than accepting to them that you're hurt.

I dont' want to criminalise anyone or say who is more wrong than whom, that is not my call. I'm merely stating my feelings about the actions and situation. No offense to you, Jen or any other readers.

I do not really believe in an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.' Both have made mistakes, both are suffering, both are heartbroken. It does not matter so much whose mistakes are bigger. What matters (to me) is the effort taken to fix the mistakes and problems.

While I agree, Khushi has made her share of misjudgements; she has also tried to sort out differences by making repeated attempts.

Waiting to see Arnav's attempts now. I'm hoping Arnav is going to make up with his determination and persistence to earn the forgiveness, to make up for the pain that he has caused her.

I'm also waiting to see what Khushi's emails say, that finally made him see the light.

Jenny, hats off to you. Arnav's point of view is explained really well. And I really do sympathise with him but for me some things were just way too much. However, I have not given up hope on him. He may be flawed but he's still the Arnav I've admired and loved. I may be disappointed and hurt by his actions but I trust him to honestly try to rectify the situation, win back his love, salvage their shared dream.

P.S. Sorry for the long (possibly pointless) essay. Read at own risk 😳

What is it about self-pity that you don't mind destroying yourself?
What is it about revenge that you don't mind destroying others?
What is it about judgement that we become lawyers for our mistakes and judges for others?

And finally, what is about love that even the wildest beast comes to a halt with the slightest touch?

Before I can think of any logical answers, let me ask you first - what does it take a writer to render such an emotional distress. You may be rightfully nervous but I am sure I am in the majority when I say that you rightfully deserve every word of appreciation that will be coming your way. That chapter proves that with you, it's not the depth of your talent, it's just how deep we can see. Just marvelous.

That was one dark ride though through the darkest tunnel - wow! I did not realize dark side of Arnav's brain can have such a darker shade too. As a reader, the only saving grace for me was the poetic justice at the end where Arnav started feeling some of the pain pangs that he mindlessly inflicted on Khushi. Amidst, all that chaos and melancholy in his head, the thing that I like the most though is that for all the weapons of pride, sarcasm, misery, blame, revenge, jealousy, and guilt that Arnav used to win the unimportant battles, I am glad that at the end, he chose love to go to war with.

I am trying to come up with some reasoning of Arnav's point of view. But, I am having a hard time to see it any other way other than a momentary insanity. Yes, he was hurt by love and he wanted that extra confirmation on how far she will go for him. But, none of those even come close to justify his actions. There are ways to handle his internal struggle and showing it on someone is definitely not the best way.

As aforementioned, the good news there at the end was the recovery and rebound mode he is back in. Trying to do "Deleting and replacing what he'd said with what he should have..." - is easier said than done. How many times we all feel the need for the heart to be placed somewhere between your brain and your mouth. Especially to filter some of those rancid thoughts that reach your tongue.

Delving further on this maybe a bit futile knowing that the gust of realization has already hit him. Now, it's time for some happy thoughts and happy phase as we have treaded down this dark alley for very long time already😃.

Let the happy games begin😃!

Unresing while reading the update on my phone, so that I can type out my thoughts like a running commentary while reading, otherwise I will forget half of what I wanna say for sure..

What the!! He was drowned in such selfishness and bitterness??? I can't believe it!! How can he compare Khushi to Lavanya? Just HOW??? I will have to consider about forgiving him after reading the rest.

So that is what has happened when she has tried to contact him through calls and texts. When he says "You know who all this hounding reminds me of?" I thought then and there Khushi should forget about him! Even after that he thinks that she should come to him if she loves him enough! Arnav! I didn't expect this from you.. After hearing so much why did she try again during the party? It should have been the other way around.

Why is he contradicting his own thoughts? If he thinks that she should come to him, then that was what was happening after two weeks right? She is contacting him via emails, so then what's his problem??? 😡

Oh so he wants her to come to him physically? I see. She has to come to his doorstep, that's what he wants. Why can't he tell that to her openly? He is really behaving like a stubborn child!!

Why is he torturing himself and her with all this stubbornness? It does pain very much when his heart wants to know if she missed him just like he does. Oh how much she does! If only he was Meera's EIT Arnav!!

Oh no!! Oh no no no no!!! Now I realize in what mentality he was when he got that much angry with her that night! He has thought she is enjoying herself while he is wallowing in such pain and yearning! Oh God! Did this HUGE misunderstanding have to happen right now???

Still I don't think I've come down to forgiving him. He is still the wrong one here!

I thought that was the worst thing to happen tonight! How totally wrong I am!! That stupid idiotic friend of Aman's had to come and say THAT at that precise moment!! Jenny, you are so cruel you know.. 😭

Things are almost even now. She heard his conversation with Lavanya partly and assumed something. Now he heard a third person talking about Khushi and Aman together and assumed something.

I totally dislike Arnav at the moment, just saying. Hurt her and punish her! Just for asking more time, and a new crime she did - not coming to his apartment after being repeatedly hurt verbally!

For a moment I thought Arnav would disappoint me in the worst possible way. By giving into a moment's weakness. But he got a brownie point from me, that too in a mildly intoxicated state.

His version of fidelity is still so strong within him. He still feels that inexplicable bond with Khushi. Right now, I wanna thank Madison for bringing him to the light.

Finally his erstwhile sleeping brain has started talking logic. This bond is definitely worth more than those careless, angry words.

Your words in italic regarding his thoughts about how society and his version of being free and committed contradict each other, Jenny, answers all our discussions on that topic I guess.

And coming to the final flashback he goes through, I halfheartedly feel he deserves it. He deserves to be misunderstood right there. He needs to realize his mistake. Something had to make him guilty. He has to realize that it's always him for Khushi, from her side. And that he had spoken venom to her. Now I am waiting to read how he is going to win Khushi back.

I'm sorry Jenny. I'm gonna take back my words. I'm not gonna go along with Arnav in search of his Khushi. I'm disappointed in him. I thought, no I BELIEVED he would have a very good reason for his behavior, but no. He only disappointed me. I empathize more with Khushi's emotions, of what she went through when all these happened. Arnav was only being childish here. Maybe when I read it again after some days I might view it in a different way, but right now I don't. And yes, when he starts wooing her back, I want Khushi to grovel a LOT before giving in.

I so wanna read Khushi's emails now...

After reading this update, I assume Anita's POV will have what she assumes while observing that night's events and I have a nagging feeling that she is partly responsible for Arnav's arrival in India. She may not have wanted to directly deal with Arnav due to her loyalty towards her sister and may have included Akash in her plans. Just a guess.

PS: I can't remember what I have written in this long comment. Please excuse me if I have contradicted my own self here. It was all what I was feeling while reading simultaneously the part of the update at that particular moment.

PPS: Also Jenny, just because I'm being very rough with Arnav here don't think I'm totally against him. From the beginning of SF, he has been my favorite person. So I'll come around to forgive him soon.. 😉

unres

Arnav in the show had said something to the effect that love can make you do anything...from being euphoric to becoming irrational, jealous, unyeilding, confused etc etc.

both khushi and arnav are caught in a quagmire that is sucking them further and further into a tangled morass. i feel for both khushi and arnav, At least khushi has her sister and friends, but arnav seems so alone and battered by circumstances. You have written their povs brilliantly. Now, Jenny dear get them out of this situation soonest.

looking forward to the next chapter...what will be anita's take on these two????

Jenny, what an update yaar..I give you 200 marks out of 100 for depicting Arnav's feelings so aptly..what hurt me most is he lost his career too bcos of his messed up personal life..he has nothing now..He comparing Kushi to Lavanya is not right but he isn't in a good mental state.. From his point of view, he is right..Kushi is also right from her point of view..as we know both their issues, we can sympathize with them..they need to TALK..

Hats off Jen.. One of the best chapters

He is also going through a lot but why blame khushi for it all? All she ask for was time but he hurt her more, didn't respond to any text, call or email. He makes her feel like she become lavanya. He ask for a break up and to date other ppl. Not only that but waiting for her to come to him when he is the one ignoring her. Why can't he go to her? Doesn't he love her too? She is already doing so much, being there for him in his needs so why can't he? I know love isn't abt counting the amount of deeds but something it has to be acknowledge.

My pov, may have be one sided but that's the way I see it. And not to forget that he was ready to go forward with another woman. He may not proceed but he did take the step ahead. What if khushi I did that and he knew abt it, what's gonna be his reaction?

Sorry guys but Arnav p*sses me off and my mood 😡