(ON HOLD)Vidarth FF: Sinner and the Saint .. Imp Note Page 67 - Page 12

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sweetbutbroken thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
YAY Another Vidarth OS... now i'm going to give side by side commentary so i don't miss out on anything 😛
Hehe loved the whole Amitabh Bachhan fan following reference there... smart choice of words 😆
LOL Eeinstein bulb?? ahahaha seriously how do you even come up with these sayings?

I loved the way you started showing Vidushi and Parth in slightly similar positions... i mean by showing them frustrated and saying "dammit"... it emphasizes how they're much more similar than they like to think...

and then you absolutely nailed vidushi's character when she was talking about all the things people say about her... the part about her underestimating herself was a little out of character, but i like it because it shows as a little insecure and vulnerable.. (or maybe i'm just analyzing it too much)

her reaction towards those "dumb-ass" doctors is sooo cute... it's adorable seeing Vidushi so concerned for Parth, if only the idiot would realise this (I'm talking about on the show of course).

Lol burnt turkey? not even sure what that looks like but it sounds damn funny.

AWWW Vids knew what Parth was going to say before he even opened his mouth... that is beyond adorable.. see this is what we need to see on the show, these cute gestures that show just how much Vidushi cares for Parth and just how well she knows him.

I like how you blamed the tremors in his hand on his anger issues... i hope they do something like that on the show also. I wouldn't be able to take it if Parth had some serious disease.

I can't believe Parth... even after knowing that Vids did all that for his benefit he acted like she was a monster 😔 "Gande dimaag" ok my anger literally overflowed over here... how dare he say that to her after all she's done for him...

GO VIDUSHI!! Loving the girl power here and how for once she is the one being forceful towards him, not the other way around... I like where this is going 😉

THEY KISS!!! That's such a beautiful scene (maybe hot is a better word to describe it)... i think i re-read it like 50 times... too good man, too good. And the way she cups his head so he doesn't get hurt is so incredibly sweet.

Vidushi's last line was the best line in the whole OS... I absolutely loved reading this, and I'm being very honest when I say that it's one of the best OS's that i've read on the forum on Vidarth... Awesome job and please please please do write more on vidarth like this

- Rae
Moony87 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: anuaskif

Very nice... different and beautifully executed concept...


Would Luv to read more from you ...


Thank youuu... 🤗.. So happy that you loved it.. Will be coming up with another OS on friday.. Do read it.. 😉
Moony87 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: arshisfan




I played the video once again and I guess you are right, she said she will trap Sameer and thinks about marrying Sanyukta's bhai (I didn't hear Bhai well so I thought they were still talking about Sameer)

When Vidhushi went to spend holidays in Sanyukta's house I also suspected that Ankit (Sanyukta's brother) might like Vidhushi and she might also try her chance with him as he is rich but no matter who (Sameer ya Sanyukta's brother) she shouldn't be with another man when she loves Parth, but I would like that only in a single way, if Parth somehow starts to get jealous for her and if they show that she aceepted Sanyukta's brother because she thinks Parth will never love her and he is stuck with Arpita's memories, so why at least doesn't she see her fulture since at least she will get money if not love instead of losing both!

ETA :But of course I still have hopes of Vidarth, I mean this third angle thing in Vidarth's story should be for Parth to realize somehow that he cares for Vidhushi and I hope her love for him remains a consistent thing!


I know.. like I said. with Sanyukta butchered to irreparable ends.. atleast they should keep the morality of Vidushi intact.. Though I wouldn't mind Sameer playing a "Parth" in the Vidarth story.. 😆.. That would be fun.. Yep, like she tried to flirt with LITS guyz to get Parth's attention, if she does the same with Sameer.. I am up for it.. 😃.. but agar serious hai to bhai .. last option mein bas Varya hi bache rahenge.. Vidarth ki bhi bali na chadhaa de CVs.. 😭
Moony87 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: sweetbutbroken

YAY Another Vidarth OS... now i'm going to give side by side commentary so i don't miss out on anything 😛

Hehe loved the whole Amitabh Bachhan fan following reference there... smart choice of words 😆
LOL Eeinstein bulb?? ahahaha seriously how do you even come up with these sayings?

Heheh.. that's what I personally feel about Sanyukta.. Genuis ki itni taareef nahi hoti FITE mein jitni Sanyukta ki hoti hai.. and that's funny.. 😆

I loved the way you started showing Vidushi and Parth in slightly similar positions... i mean by showing them frustrated and saying "dammit"... it emphasizes how they're much more similar than they like to think...

You Got my point girl.. 👏👏👏

and then you absolutely nailed vidushi's character when she was talking about all the things people say about her... the part about her underestimating herself was a little out of character, but i like it because it shows as a little insecure and vulnerable.. (or maybe i'm just analyzing it too much)

If you had seen V-tripping with Nisha she said that Vidushi has a lot of pain in her heart, she doesn't express and tries to be devilish.. On the other hand, when her "chori" got exposed Parth had told her to learn from Sanyukta.. That compelled me to write that portion.. They don't show her emotional monologue but yes one of the reasons of being jealous of Sanyukta would be this also.. (I suppose) 😆😆

her reaction towards those "dumb-ass" doctors is sooo cute... it's adorable seeing Vidushi so concerned for Parth, if only the idiot would realise this (I'm talking about on the show of course).

I LOLed writing those lines.. 😆

Lol burnt turkey? not even sure what that looks like but it sounds damn funny.

AWWW Vids knew what Parth was going to say before he even opened his mouth... that is beyond adorable.. see this is what we need to see on the show, these cute gestures that show just how much Vidushi cares for Parth and just how well she knows him.

Hope some miraculous day this happens.. 😳😳

I like how you blamed the tremors in his hand on his anger issues... i hope they do something like that on the show also. I wouldn't be able to take it if Parth had some serious disease.

Hihi.. I researched for that.. don't like loopholes that's why.. 😉😉

I can't believe Parth... even after knowing that Vids did all that for his benefit he acted like she was a monster 😔 "Gande dimaag" ok my anger literally overflowed over here... how dare he say that to her after all she's done for him...

Well ditto what he is in the show.. 😕😕😕

GO VIDUSHI!! Loving the girl power here and how for once she is the one being forceful towards him, not the other way around... I like where this is going 😉

Yep like a BOSS.. 😃😃

THEY KISS!!! That's such a beautiful scene (maybe hot is a better word to describe it)... i think i re-read it like 50 times... too good man, too good. And the way she cups his head so he doesn't get hurt is so incredibly sweet.

😳😳😳😳.. Hugs to you for noticing that head cupping scene.. 🤗🤗

Vidushi's last line was the best line in the whole OS... I absolutely loved reading this, and I'm being very honest when I say that it's one of the best OS's that i've read on the forum on Vidarth... Awesome job and please please please do write more on vidarth like this

One of the best comments I have read on my OS dear... 😳.. Wait for Friday.. M writing another one.. 😳

- Rae

sweetbutbroken thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
^^ BEST NEWS EVER!!!
Can't wait for Friday either now... make sure you scrap me a link ok... or just post it on the AT and i'll find it there 😃
Moony87 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: sweetbutbroken

^^ BEST NEWS EVER!!!

Can't wait for Friday either now... make sure you scrap me a link ok... or just post it on the AT and i'll find it there 😃


Yo.. 😳😳 .. i think I might prepone it to tonight... Isse pehle ke poora scene dimaag se udd jaaye I'll pen in down and then focus on the next chappy of my FF.. 😃
SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Moony87



<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3">Yo..😳😳.. i think I might prepone it to tonight... Isse pehle ke poora scene dimaag se udd jaaye I'll pen in down and then focus on the next chappy of my FF..😃</font>


If you prepone it then I'll be tha happiest person ever!!
Moony87 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Burn_the_Ashes


If you prepone it then I'll be tha happiest person ever!!


Will do that.. 😊
Moony87 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Guyz.. Came up with the second part of the OS.. Hope you all love it..

ALL NIGHT

"What the hell were you thinking Vidushi? What happened in the lab was no joke. His stress levels could have shot up. How the hell could you forget that he needs to be calm?" Vidushi rubbed her forehead scolding herself mentally. The room felt suffocating and way too quiet. And her mind felt too full. Too full of guilt and fear of his well-being. Squeezing her eyes, with her fingers, to ease some tension, she came out of her room.

Almost midnight, the corridors were deserted. "Cmon, somebody taunt me please... Distract me .. Anyone!!" she groaned in frustration. It's been whole day and her mind had been ranting the same stuff again and again. Her mind had clearly overworked. Pressing her temple she walked ahead.

-----------------

Hello, Vidushi. There is a good news for you. Parth ki reports aa gayee hain after full verification. I have received your cheque which you left in my cabin for the tests... You don't even know an ounce of what a f**king hell is. Your girlfriend... She is in HEAVEN..

Parth eyes snapped open as he encountered this word. The floor which seemed chilling cold a minute back now seemed like a furnace, as he bit his lower lip. He didn't know what he was doing in that room since morning. But the moment Vidushi left the lab, he had walked out of the lab and absent mindedly landed in this room.

His temper rose as those intimate moments teased him again. "Can't believe I was at your mercy Vidushi." He hissed. Rubbing his wrists he smirked "Time to settle scores Vids"

-----------------

Vidushi looked horrified as she stopped dead on her tracks. "HAVE YOU.." she clamped her mouth to stop herself from shouting.. "Have you lost it Parth?" she said in an angry whisper, as she saw Parth standing in front of her with arms crossed over his chest.No response from him.

"Mannequin ki tarah kya khade ho?.. This is girls' hostel... What are you doing here??... Warden ne dekh liya to you'll get expelled." She hissed furiously. He was really testing her patience with all that I AM NOT ANSWERING..I AM DON type pose. Again no response from him.

Having enough of all this, she marched towards him. "Main TUMSE baat kar rahi hoon.. Behre ho gaye ho kya?..Agar warden ne tumhe dekh liya na, then it's not my responsibi.. "

-----------------

"WHAT THE hell are you doing Parth???" Vidushi screeched. Before she could complete her sentence Parth had picked her up on his right shoulder. She struggled dangling on his shoulder to get down. This angered him even more.

"STOP IT" He warned and slapped her left hip hard to stop her from struggling.

"BLOODY HELL.. HOW DARE YOU?.. YOU MORON .. PUT ME DOWN..." Vidushi yelled.

"How dare me??.. You were saying that it's not your responsibility. So main apne expel hone ki responsibility uthaa raha hoon Vidushi" He teased clearly enjoying the whole situation

"Shut up... This isn't funny... Where the hell are you taking me?" Vidushi asked horrified.

"TO. A. TRIP. TO .HEAVEN" came his heated reply.

-----------------

Putting her down on the chilled floor, he bolted the room. Vidushi steadied herself on her feet and looked at the room. Painful memory engulfed her as she found herself in the same store room. Last time tricked into it and this time forcefully brought there. Breathing heavily as anger and hurt took over her, she spun around, only to see Parth standing against the locked door with a pensive look.

"You SWINE"..she raised her hand to slap him. "A.. AA.. Language Lady..!! ", Parth mocked, catching her wrist mid-air and spun her around trapping her between the door and himself.

"Lady..? Like Seriously?. This is how always-so-gentleman Parth Kashyap treats a LADY?" She shouted at him.

"And what you did in the morning was oh-so-lady like. Right? ", Parth roared back.

"Touche!!... It wasn't. It was just a TEASER of what happens when a tigress traps the tail of a meek MOUSE struggling for freedom." Vidushi smirked triumphantly.

"Vidushi Kumar" Parth gritted as his blood boiled.

"PARTH KASHYAP" Vidushi spat back rolling her eyes.

The air heated up as Parth glared at her. Vidushi's heart did a summersault as Parth checked her out from head to toe.

"And what do you think you are wearing at this hour of the night", he suddenly snapped.

"Haathon ke saath saath eye sight bhi hil gayee hai kya?.. These are called .. "CLOTHES" " she retorted back, raising her both hands and making exclamation marks in air.

"Don't raise my temper Vidushi"... "If I raise your temper, then better go check out an A.C. That'll cool you down."

"Vidushi... I asked you a question dammit.." Parth scowled. She was getting on his nerves again.

"And I answered indirectly that YOUR. QUESTION. IS. STUPID. These are NIGHT clothes.. What do you see.. Leaves? "Vidushi snapped back.

"You call this 2 centimeter stuff as night clothes? A Spaghetti top and shorter-than-the-normal shorts." He howled.

Now, that made her conscious. He was right, the shorts were really short, finishing just a little below her hips, exposing almost her entire legs. But then, so what... Who is he to comment on them?

"So WHAT? Oh... Yeah I should have learned from Sanyukta right? Just as YOU my-lord ordered me the other day. What did you expect huh? That I would be in a Patiala salwar. You call THOSE 2kg stuff as NIGHT CLOTHES???" She batted her eyelids mocking him.

"That's... IT..!" He groaned before pulling her and merging her lips into his. And that was... "Sheer bliss" his mind spoke. He had thought of thousand ways to get back at her, since morning. He was angry at her and disgusted by himself for responding to her. He had felt guilty of betraying Arpita. But right now, right here, at this very moment... all he felt was ecstasy. No guilt, no anger. She affected him. In a bad, wicked way. Every time they talked, the temperature rose. And he hated the fact that she brought out the wild side of him.

Parth held her face firmly with his palms as she tried to pull back from their kiss. She didn't want him to be stressed and he didn't want her to leave. Tilting her face, he entered her mouth and kissed her fiercely, as if warning her to dare not break the kiss. But what elated him was the response to his warning. Vidushi pressed herself to him, reducing every distance. Rubbing his ear with her thumb, she pulled his ear lobe. And that fired up the already heated situation.

-----------------

The room echoed with metal sounds as Parth pushed down all the trash kept on the table. "Parth" Vidushi gasped as he grabbed her waist and made her sit on the table. She jerked as she felt his rough stubble on the pulse of her neck. Looking up, he stared at her lips. Tracing them with his thumb, he rasped.."I don't care if anyone catches us. I don't care about anything right now. Just you and me. The entire world can go rot in..." "HELL" he said looking at her eyes and took her off guard with his kiss.

Vidushi inhaled sharply as he pushed her more onto the table. Still kissing her, he flattened her on the table. Hot breaths and lusty eyes collided as he broke the kiss and looked at her. She looked divine, intense and passionate. More than her actions, her kiss unnerved him. He had to admit she kissed passionately which would haunt you whole day. And then she was wearing these Clothes.

"This is not helping at all.. " he said again attacking her neck. His stubble tickled and aroused her at the same time. "What..what is not helping?" she murmured. "This"..he said tracing a finger down her thigh and pulling up her knee. "These are too short.. Anybody would ogle at you", he said massaging her knee with his thumb.The way her body was responding to his every touch, was enough to make him go bonkers. She was a live wire for him.

She chuckled.. "I doubt girls would ogle at me. But if they do then.." "Then?" he looked up with a frown.

"They have a Good Choice" She breathed out raising her chin confidently. He smiled at her wittiness and his eyes darkened at her exposed neck. Throwing away all the questions, he went down her neck with wet kisses and pulled down the strap of her top. Sucking her shoulder, he pulled up her top exposing her navel.

Vidushi gripped his hair tight as he went down and bit her naval hard. Her body arched and her toes curled as he assaulted it with his tongue. "Parth.." was all she could whisper. If at all her passion wasn't enough to entice him, the moan played havoc with his every nerve. Moving up, he sucked the pulse of her neck deeply. "Aah" she moaned and bit his ear hard.

"Vids"... he pressed her waist hard and sucked her neck fiercely. "Don't mark me... Please" She panted. Still kissing the pulse of her neck he mumbled... "You marked me. Why can't I?"

"I love you. You don't" She breathed out. Parth tore apart listening the harsh truth and looked at her. Her eyes closed, she tried to catch her breath. Getting off the table, he moved away from it. Running his fingers in his hair, he whispered "What happens tomorrow morning now, after this?"

Vidushi got up, knees bended, hands between her thighs, she fidgeted with her fingers. Breathing heavily she looked at his back. Shoulders slumped and fingers rummaging his hair. She smiled. "Tomorrow morning. I'll be smiling thinking about tonight. I'll think about this whole day and as usual will stare at you. Tomorrow morning. You'll regret this. You'll hate yourself. You'll feel guilty. You'll apologize to Arpita like you would have done all day today. Then you'll hate me even more. Coz, it's all my fault. I started it. But I don't mind if you hate me, loathe me, and call me shameless or even characterless. Coz, I have nothing to lose. No friends, no confidants, no well-wishers ... not even YOU. You were never MINE. So after this, nothing different happens tomorrow morning".

Parth turned around baffled at what he just heard. And what he saw baffled him even more. She was looking at him with a soft smile and with eyes that showed no remorse. Suddenly the distance between them tortured him. He moved towards the table. Grabbing her legs he pulled her towards him. She giggled as she collided with his chest. Her legs dangling off the table, he stood between them and cupped her face.

Her eyes shone and he got lost in her smile. Taking her lips into a soft passionate kiss he silently resolved... "Tomorrow can wait... But his lips can't. Her lips that always smile for him no matter what he says...He'll love those lips TONIGHT"

He opened his mouth, their tongues met and he passionately resolved... "Tomorrow can wait... But he can't. The tongue that has only one word on it 'Parth'... He'll worship it TONIGHT..." ALL NIGHT.


Done.. Please tell me how's it.. M kinda riding high on Vidarth these days... 😆😆

Edited by Moony87 - 11 years ago
sweetbutbroken thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
res
unres

Woah, you started with a bang.. i love the guilt she feels, it gives her character so much more depth, showing that she's not as evil as some make her out to be... and the concern she has for Parth... I'm talking about the show here now, but sometimes it feels as though she cares more about him than she does herself.

"Somebody taunt me please"... the sympathy i feel there is indescribable.. here is a girl who has put this boy before everything else in her life, only to get heartbroken... how much pain can one person go through before they break?

I got up to the flashback part and decided to reread the first part of the OS again... and I can't help myself from saying this once again but you are an amazing writer, and an even better creative thinker (basically you come up with such interesting ways to present these characters).

Ok, now back to the second part... I guess it was expected that Parth would get angry remembering his intimate moments with Vidushi, he's Parth after all.. but I kinda hoped that he would suddenly have an epiphany and realise how Vids is the girl for him... "Settle scores" sounds really... interesting (if you know what i mean) 😉

Mannequin... lol nice but funny comparison because now all i can think about is Parth as a mannequin 😆 I AM NOT ANSWERING... I AM DON 🤣 I can't stop laughing... now i'm imagining Parth as Don.

He picks her up... .slaps her left hip... Uh ohh, angry Parth is back. Trip to Heaven?? I swear I have a gutter mind so I'm not even going to mention what I thought first.

Oh no, not the damn store room... that scene irritated me so much because i honestly fell for it thinking that Vidarth were finally going to get together... BUT NO, he goes and ties her to a chair instead.

I had plans of writing my comment whilst reading but seriously i got to the part where he traps her between the door and himself and i have to stop... i'm actually holding my breath because i know that whatever happens next, it's gonna be hot... so i'm just gonna read till the end and freak out later..

LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT

Sorry i couldn't comment as much as my last one... but seriously i think your writing and this OS is sooo good that any words i use won't be enough... loved the passion between them, the intensity of their relationship and oh my gosh THE WAY THEY KISS!!! That "I love you. You don't" comment was the best one in the entire OS.. just mind blowing

Can't pull out a single fault at all.. absolutely loved it from beginning to end
Edited by sweetbutbroken - 11 years ago

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